REVIEW: Skinny Cow Slimited Edition Mmmmocha Truffle Bars

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Slimited Edition Skinny Cow Mmmmocha Truffle Bars-WM

As a reviewer at The Impulsive Buy and a natural-born impulsive buyer, I am often swayed into checking out new items based on the punny-ness of the products’ names. It should be obvious, then, that I needed to try the new Skinny Cow ice cream bar, as its name offers puns both inspired (Slimited: so straightforward yet so effective) and confusing. (Is “Mmmmocha” supposed to represent me saying “mmmm” with delight, or it is an oddly-executed play on cow onomatopoeia?)

Plus, swimsuit slimsuit swimsuit season is right around the corner, so I figure a review of a low-fat product is in order. Each Mmmmocha Truffle Bar has just 100 calories and 2.5 grams of fat while somehow containing 3 grams of fiber. Let’s all take thirty seconds to do a Google search of “how could there be fiber in ice cream” and see how terrifying the results are. Ready? Hey, not that terrifying! We should just act like ice cream fiber is totally normal so I can get on with the review.

Slimited Edition Skinny Cow Mmmmocha Truffle Bars Closeup-WM

When taken out of its packaging, the ice cream bar looked pretty appealing. It was a slightly lighter color than the photo on the box, and the chocolate drizzle was neatly latticed. As I took my own photos, I was surprised by how quickly the bar began to lose its shape. Without a hard chocolate shell like many other ice cream bars, the Mmmmocha Truffle Bar just melted very quickly. The Skinny Cow ice cream really needed a Spanx-like chocolate shell to maintain its form, but all it had was some fishnet stocking chocolate drizzle.

The bar had a pleasant coffee taste that wasn’t particularly strong or sweet. The chocolate drizzle added moments of more acute sweetness, and the slight crunch of the chocolate provided a little bit of a textural contrast. I was mildly surprised at how creamy it was, but my expectations for low-fat ice cream were probably unreasonably low. In the end, it didn’t quite satisfy my ice cream fix for the day, so I threw away the last few bites and grabbed a scoop of the premium stuff in my freezer.

Overall, I felt decidedly “meh” about the Skinny Cow Slimited Edition Mmmmocha Truffle Bars, especially since $6.99 for six bars felt kind of pricey. Still, they may have a role to play in your dieting plans (prepare for the most back-handed recommendation ever): As a friend was explaining to me recently, great-tasting low-calorie foods actually ruin plenty of diets because people feel justified in eating more servings and always end up finishing the whole box. These ice cream bars are fine but not so tasty that you’ll want to eat all six servings at once. If you’re really committed to dieting but can’t give up ice cream completely, the Skinny Cow Slimited Edition Mmmmocha Truffle Bars will be a very nice fit for you.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bar – 100 calories, 25 calories from fat, 2.5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 45 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein, 6% vitamin A, and 20% calcium.)

Item: Skinny Cow Slimited Edition Mmmmocha Truffle Bars
Price: $6.99
Size: 6 bars
Purchased at: Food Emporium
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Pleasant coffee taste. Chocolate drizzle added sweetness and a slight crunch. Creamier than I expected. The word Slimited. Working Spanx into a well-shaped metaphor. Also having premium ice cream in the freezer right now. Sticking to diets.
Cons: Melted really quickly. Still not that creamy. Kind of pricey. The word Mmmmocha. Backhanded recommendations. Not actually thinking ice cream fiber is normal.

REVIEW: Breyers Blasts! Limited Edition Oreo Birthday Blast!

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Breyers Limited Edition Oreo Birthday Blast

It seems like many longstanding companies don’t know quite how to feel about their own longevity.  Staying in business for a long time is, of course, something to celebrate — the company I work for recently hit a major milestone and celebrated with both a family picnic and a black-tie dinner, which was cool.  But a lot of companies seem to want to downplay their past in an effort to appear cutting-edge and in touch with today’s consumers.  You understandably see it a lot with tech companies, but also in some industries you wouldn’t expect.  DC Comics has the richest history of any comic company on Earth, but when it comes to their original characters from the 1940s, the powers that be generally alternate between killing them off, writing them out of stories, and pretending they don’t exist.  (Because characters created in the ’50s and ’60s are so much more relevant, presumably.)

The food industry seems to play both sides of the fence.  You’ll see plenty of brands where the companies seem to constantly try new flavors or fillings or variations on the original — coat it in chocolate, fill it with berries, age it ten years and throw some parsley on top — but at the same time, there are a number of products that have really stood the test of time, and their makers rarely miss an opportunity to point that out.  The fact that they often do so while simultaneously introducing the “new and improved version!” of the product that’s lasted forever in its original form is an irony not lost on me, and Nabisco provides us with a fantastic example of what we’re talking about.  As you probably know, Oreos are celebrating their 100th anniversary in 2012, and I’ll bet you cash money Nabisco has rolled out more variants on the Oreo in the past ten years than they did in the ninety preceding it — Double Stufs, Triple Doubles, Neapolitan flavor, Berry Burst, Strawberry Milkshake Creme, Cakesters… the list is endless.  Celebrate the past, just so long as no one thinks you’re afraid to make changes to keep with the times appears to be the credo.

Breyers Limited Edition Oreo Birthday Blast Closeup

Be that as it may, part of any good birthday celebration is ice cream, so Nabisco has teamed up with Breyer’s to bring us… almost ice cream.  “Frozen dairy dessert,” if you want to get technical.  I don’t tend to notice the difference until it’s pointed out to me, but I know some of you (like my wife) do, and once she mentioned it, I definitely could detect the slight aftertaste that smacks of “almost but not quite ice cream.”  Like blinking your eyes or breathing, it’s the sort of thing you don’t consciously think about, but then once it’s brought to your attention, you can’t stop noticing it.  It didn’t totally ruin my enjoyment, but it definitely diminished it slightly; naturally, your mileage may vary.

Oreos, of course, have a proud tradition of partnering with ice cream as the classic cookies n’ cream flavor, or the slightly less classic “creme (with cookie chunks)” by stores afraid of violating copyright laws.  By appearances, the anniversary ice cream looked to be exactly that, just with rainbow sprinkles added, so that’s what I was expecting.  It’s also basically what I got, so here’s to judging a book by its cover!  But I was pleasantly surprised to note that along with the rainbow sprinkles came a bit of cake batter flavor too.  It’s not overwhelming, but it pairs with the Oreo cookie chunks pretty well.  The dessert is fairly creamy — not Ben & Jerry’s quality, but still, not bad.

Overall, you pretty much know what to expect from this frozen dairy dessert if you’ve had cookies n’ cream before, as that’s the dominant base.  I’d love to tell you it’s more exciting than that, but this is just a decent but not outstanding flavor that loses a point or two for the aftertaste.  It’s not bad by any stretch, but it doesn’t really live up to the monumental milestone it was designed to commemorate either.  As it stands, I don’t think you’d find anyone arguing Oreo Birthday Blast was worth waiting 100 years for.

(Nutrition Facts — 1/2 cup — 130 calories, 40 calories from fat, 4.5 grams of total fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 13 grams of sugars, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Breyers Blasts! Limited Edition Oreo Birthday Blast!
Price: $3.79
Size: 1.5 quarts
Purchased at: Giant
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Visually appealing rainbow sprinkles.  Most Oreos don’t look a day over 70.  Tasty cookie chunks.  Hard to be TOO disappointed with what is, essentially, cookies n’ cream.  Certainly not healthy, but could be a lot worse.  If you make a wish before digging in your spoon, it stands as good a chance of coming true as if you were wishing on a candle.
Cons: Can’t un-notice the aftertaste after it’s been pointed out to you.  (Sorry.)  Not real ice cream.  Companies that want to celebrate their longevity when convenient while ignoring it the other 99% of the time.  Not exactly overflowing in creativity.  Could be slightly creamier.

REVIEW: Häagen-Dazs 2012 Limited Edition Flavors (Coconut Macaroon, Vanilla Bean Espresso, and Spiced Caramel Biscuit)

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Haagen-Dazs Limited Edition Flavors (Coconut Macaroon, Vanilla Bean Espresso, and Spiced Caramel Biscuit)-WM

Here at The Impulsive Buy, new ice cream products tend to receive very positive reviews. Häagen-Dazs flavors, in particular, have never received lower than 7 out of 10. I think these scores are perfectly reasonable. Häagen-Dazs routinely comes out with interesting and well-executed new products but, look, when your product’s primary ingredients are sugar and cream, you’re set up for success. It’s just much harder to mess up ice cream than, say, microwaveable dinners, or breakfast sandwiches, or well-constructed lists of three things.

I propose, then, that we hold ice cream to a higher standard by applying what I call the pint test. The premise is simple: Is the ice cream so good that you would sacrifice your health and self-respect to eat a whole pint in one sitting? Häagen-Dazs would be held to an even higher standard since they now sell ice cream in 14-ounce containers, not in full pints (cost-sensitive bastards). Applying the scoring system to them, then, implies that I would hypothetically buy one carton, eat the whole thing, go back to the store, buy another carton, and eat at least 2 more ounces of that one. For this review of three new limited edition Häagen-Dazs flavors, I’ll offer a rating on the classic 1 to 10 scale as well as a “yes” or “no” on the pint test.

Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Coconut Macaroon-WM

Coconut Macaroon

These new products all apparently fall under an international theme of “Small World, Big Flavors,” and this variety is “inspired by centuries-old recipes spanning from Europe & Asia.” I hadn’t realized there was anything particularly exotic about coconut macaroons, but I guess a brand with two made-up but vaguely Scandinavian words as its name has lots of practice in drawing upon the faintest of foreign connections.

Coconut ice cream filled with small bits of coconut macaroons might sound like too much coconut, but I thought they got the flavor just right. Both the cookie bits and the ice cream contributed to the coconuttiness in similarly pleasant parts, with neither ever tasting too strong. The ice cream was rich and buttery, though maybe a little too buttery, and the cookie bits were tasty and they were fluffy, chewy, and plentiful. But the problem was that they were still just bits, and while each bit made me want an actual macaroon more and more, no piece was large enough to satiate that craving. As they say, the sum of the crumbs doesn’t equal the cookie. (No one actually says that, but doesn’t that sound like an excellent proverb, one that might span from Europe & Asia?) In the end, no, I wouldn’t eat a whole pint, though I’d certainly eat a couple scoops before running to the bakery and buying some actual coconut macaroons.

Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Vanilla Bean Espresso-WM

Vanilla Bean Espresso

Now this one, I understand the international association. It’s the Häagen-Dazs take on Italian affogato, with a swirl of espresso mixed into vanilla bean ice cream. The potent vanilla flavor hit first, with an aroma and spice that put regular vanilla ice cream to shame. Arriving second but with no less power, the rich espresso flavor had an intensity that I wouldn’t be able to find at any number of coffeehouses. In fact, I suspect people who don’t regularly drink espresso may actually find the vanilla bean espresso ice cream to be too strong for their liking. It’s also somewhat less sweet than regular vanilla ice cream, so judge that as you will. As for me, yes, I would eat a whole pint, even at the risk of staying up all night from the caffeine. I’ll just use the extra waking hours to catch up with all the reality shows on my DVR. (Do you think Christina Aguilera has a contractual obligation to wear stupid hats on The Voice?)

Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Spiced Caramel Biscuit-WM

Spiced Caramel Biscuit

Our final product is inspired by the classic European biscuit, speculoos. I don’t believe I’ve ever had speculoos, but I won’t bother seeking them out at this point because they can’t possibly be as good as this ice cream. The ice cream is smooth (i.e., there’s no caramel swirl) and has a solid caramel taste and scent without being too sweet, which I occasionally find to be a problem with caramel-added desserts. The cinnamon and ginger of the cookie crumbs contributed a real spiciness, and the crumbs’ crunchiness made for some nice textural variety. The most important feature of this ice cream was the presence of both cookie crumbs AND big cookie pieces. The crumbs in each bite momentarily whetted my appetite for cookies, and the cookie pieces in every other bite would immediately satisfy me. I say without any reservations that, yes, I would eat a whole pint. Even if I were lactose intolerant. And about to go on a first date. To see a silent film. In an otherwise empty movie theater. Yes, that good.

Run to the store now and try these new Häagen-Dazs limited edition flavors. Oh, and for the Vanilla Bean Espresso and Spiced Caramel Biscuit, save yourself a trip and just buy two cartons, you’ll want to eat a whole pint.

(Editor’s Note/Disclaimer: The author of this review received these almost-pints for free from the frozen folks at Häagen-Dazs. The Impulsive Buy was not paid for the review and only Jasper got the free ice cream. Lucky bastard. And, so ends the FTC-required disclosure. Now back to your regularly scheduled review.)

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – Coconut Macaroon – 290 calories, 170 calories from fat, 19 grams of fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 75 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 23 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein. Vanilla Bean Espresso – 260 calories, 140 calories from fat, 15 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams trans fat, 75 milligrams of cholesterol, 45 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 25 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein. Spiced Caramel Biscuit – 290 calories, 170 calories from fat, 19 grams of fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 75 milligrams of cholesterol, 105 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 22 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.)

Other Häagen-Dazs 2012 Limited Edition Flavor reviews:
Junk Food Guy – Coconut Macaroon and Vanilla Bean Espresso
Fish and Spaghetti – Vanilla Bean Espresso and Spiced Caramel Biscuit
Food Review LTD

Item: Häagen-Dazs 2012 Limited Edition Flavors (Coconut Macaroon, Vanilla Bean Espresso, and Spiced Caramel Biscuit)
Price:
Size: 14 ounces
Purchased at: Received for free from Häagen-Dazs
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Coconut Macaroon)
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Vanilla Bean Espresso)
Rating: 10 out of 10 (Spiced Caramel Biscuit)
Pros: Coconut Macaroon had just the right amount of coconut flavor, and cookie bits were fluffy and plentiful. Vanilla Bean Espresso was really intense in both its vanilla and espresso. Spiced Caramel Biscuit had great caramel flavor without being too sweet, and the cookie crumbs AND pieces added spiciness and crunch. Making up believable proverbs. Catching up on my reality TV.
Cons: Coconut Macaroon ice cream may have been a little too buttery, and the cookie bits were too small. Vanilla Bean Espresso may be distractingly strong or not sweet enough for some people. Häagen-Dazs now coming in 14 oz cartons. Häagen and Dazs are made up words. Eating whole pints of ice cream. Lactose intolerance.

REVIEW: Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Nougat Crunch and Limited Batch Rocky Road-ish

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Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Nougat Crunch and Limited Batch Rocky Road-ish

Right about now you’re saying, “Seriously Drew, another damn Ben & Jerry’s review?  Do you ever give it a rest, man?” No, shut up.  Ben & Jerry’s is usually awesome, so the more I review, the better it is for you, me, and everyone except my waistline and militant vegans.  (Is that a thing?)  Also, it helps me feel closer to Vermont ever since I stopped skiing back in high school.  It’s either this or gay marriage, and I can’t live with another dude long term — who would keep me from wallowing in my own filth?

Today is a twofer because B&J’s seemingly can’t stop themselves from releasing new ice cream flavors, two of the latest being Chocolate Nougat Crunch and Rocky Road-ish.  I always get a little skittish when the “-ish” suffix is used, because so often it’s used in the context of things like “soon-ish” or “pretty-ish” or “meat-ish.”  But in this case I’m willing to take that chance, because I know you all are counting on me.  -Ish.

Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Nougat Crunch Closeup

The Chocolate Nougat Crunch promises sweet cream ice cream with wafer cookies covered in fudge and a chocolate nougat swirl.  That uncomfortable feeling you have right now is your taste buds needing to change their underwear.  It sounds delicious, but I’m even happier to report that it largely tastes that way too. 

Sweet cream is a personal favorite of mine, and this flavor presents a very good version of it, not simply vanilla masquerading as sweet cream.  The chocolate nougat swirl is rich and forms a nice contrast with the sweet cream.  The part about wafer cookies is slightly misleading, in that you might have been expecting actual large(-ish) cookies floating around inside the carton, but will instead get various small chunks.  I’m not complaining because they’re plentiful, taste good, and provide some nice texture contrast, but there’s not a strong wafer taste to them.  Maybe it’s because I grew up on Nilla Wafers, but I have certain expectations for what a wafer tastes like, and these weren’t it.  Not a big problem since they’re still tasty, but don’t buy the flavor for your wafer fix.  [Insert Catholic Church joke here.]

Ben & Jerry's Limited Batch Rocky Road-ish Closeup

Whereas Chocolate Nougat Crunch is a new flavor, Rocky Road-ish is a limited batch, which in theory means they only created so much of it and they’re not making more.  Not sure what the big difference is — if a new flavor doesn’t catch on, won’t it essentially have been a limited batch too? — but if you want to try some, better do it soon.  And trust me: you DO want to try some.  The description on the back describes it as “kinda like Rocky Road, but different,” and that’s definitely true.  It might be more accurate to call it Reverse Rocky Road, since instead of being chocolate ice cream with marshmallows and almonds in it, it’s toasted marshmallow ice cream with marshmallow swirl and fudge-covered almonds.

Given that, I was downright surprised by how much I liked it — I thought I’d really miss the strong chocolate presence, but the toasted marshmallow flavor ends up being really, really good without tasting precisely like marshmallow.  I know that sounds confusing, but it’s more vaguely evocative of a marshmallow rather than tasting exactly like one.  I’m not complaining, though, because it’s very rich and the fudge-covered almonds are plentiful.  I can’t say the swirl was particularly noticeable, which kind of makes sense since it’s the same flavor as the ice cream, but then why even bother including the swirl?  It’s like a Michael Bay movie poster advertising tons of explosions and zero plot.  I mean… yes, but we kind of knew that already.

If you were waiting for the day Ben & Jerry’s would completely and utterly fail me, it may yet come to pass, but certainly not today.  No, today I got to review two good to very good flavors, the better of which is unfortunately only available for a limited time.  The standard caveats apply — this is far from health food, scoop out a predetermined measure or you’re just going to eat the entire pint like you did the night that jerk/bitch broke your heart — but otherwise, have at it.  Can’t go wrong with either of them.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – Rocky Road-ish – 250 calories, 110 calories from fat, 12 grams of total fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 55 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of total carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 24 grams of sugars, 4 grams of protein.  Chocolate Nougat Crunch — 250 calories, 120 calories from fat, 13 grams of total fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 40 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 25 grams of sugars, 4 grams of protein.)

Other Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Nougat Crunch reviews:
On Second Scoop

Other Ben & Jerry’s Limited Batch Rocky Road-ish reviews:
On Second Scoop
A Sweet Score
Ben & Jerry’s Fanatic

Item: Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Nougat Crunch and Limited Batch Rocky Road-ish
Price: $4.59 each
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Giant
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Chocolate Nougat Crunch)
Rating: 9 out of 10 (Rocky Road-ish)
Pros: Another damn Ben & Jerry’s review.  Feeling closer to Vermont.  Sweet cream that tastes like sweet cream.  Reverse Rocky Road.  Good texture both, with plentiful wafer chunks/almonds, respectively.  Going two for two.
Cons: Militant vegans.  The “-ish” suffix like 99% of the time.  Not the prettiest photographs.  Doesn’t taste like Nilla Wafers.  Michael Bay movies.  Temptation to eat until you’re scraping the bottom of the carton is strong.

REVIEW: Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Salted Caramel Truffle Ice Cream

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Haagen-Dazs Salted Caramel Truffle

Just like yours truly in the bedroom, Häagen-Dazs ice cream doesn’t disappoint. I’ve purchased a number of Häagen-Dazs varieties and, just like 99 cent, physics-based iPhone games, they’re really hard to put down and I can’t say I’ve disliked any of them.

The only thing I don’t like about Häagen-Dazs is having to put that damn umlaut above the first “a” and remembering to include the hyphen whenever I type their name.

Häagen-Dazs’ Limited Edition Salted Caramel Truffle ice cream is another Häagen-Dazs flavor I’ve had trouble putting the lid back on and sticking back in the freezer. I want to eat the whole not-quite-a-pint container in one sitting, but I can’t. The only thing that prevents me from doing so is looking at the nutrition facts and calculating how much saturated fat, calories, and sugar I’d be consuming if I did so.

By the way, in case you were wondering, if I did eat the entire container, I’d take in 38.5 grams of saturated fat, or 192.5 percent of my recommended daily allowance; 980 calories; and 87.5 grams of sugar.

If you enjoy caramel, the Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Salted Caramel Truffle ice cream has enough of it that it should be arrested For Unlawful Caramel Knowledge. The ice cream consists of sweet-cream ice cream, salted caramel ribbons, and chocolatey salted caramel truffles. What’s “sweet-cream ice cream”? After tasting it, it’s just a fancy way of saying vanilla ice cream.

Haagen-Dazs Salted Caramel Truffle Closeup

But back to the caramel. The salted caramel ribbons are rich and buttery, but, to be honest, the salted caramel didn’t taste any different from regular caramel. Häagen-Dazs says the French fleur de sel influenced this ice cream, so I was hoping there would be a slight salty crunch, but there wasn’t one.

There are lots of chocolatey salted caramel truffles. In fact, I’ve gone through half of the container, and I’ve been able to scoop one up with each spoonful. Though they’re sitting in frozen cream, the truffles aren’t rock hard, and, surprisingly, they’re more caramel-y than chocolatey in flavor.

Despite all the niggles I have with the Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Salted Caramel Truffle Ice Cream, I really enjoyed it. But that’s because I love caramel. Thank goodness for the FDA-required nutrition label, because without it I’d eat a lot of this delicious ice cream.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – 280 calories, 150 calories from fat, 17 grams of fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 75 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 25 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.)

Item: Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Salted Caramel Truffle Ice Cream
Price: $4.69
Size: 14 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: If you love caramel, you’ll enjoy this ice cream. Creamy sweet-cream ice cream. Slightly addictive. FDA-required nutrition labels. Rich and buttery caramel ribbons. Lots of truffles.
Cons: Limited edition flavor available from February to December. No salt granules to provide crunch. Salted caramel doesn’t taste any different than regular caramel. Constantly forgetting how to add an umlaut.

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