REVIEW: Van Leeuwen Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Ice Cream

Kraft Mac  Cheese Ice Cream Promo

What is Van Leeuwen Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Ice Cream?

Ever have the urge to dump a Kraft Macaroni & Cheese powder packet into a pint of ice cream? I kid you not – the ingredient list here is cream, milk, cane sugar, egg yolks, and Kraft cheese sauce mix. Of course, when the Van Leeuwen / Kraft Mac & Cheese truck set up in Manhattan and gave away free cups last week, I was there.

Why is this happening? Come on, it’s 2021. Stop asking – we’re beyond that now.

Kraft Mac  Cheese Ice Cream Scoop

How is it?

I did not like this – and I went in with an open mind. I’ve had an ice cream made with brie cheese that was delicious. I liked the French’s Mustard Coolhaus Ice Cream and Oscar Mayer Hot Dog Ice Cream. But here, I thought the levels of the sweet ice cream base and savory cheese powder were too equal, fighting each other for center stage. In the mustard and hot dog ice creams, the base vanilla was the star of the show, the novelty ingredients were accents.

This combo might have worked better if one of the flavors dominated. But as-is, it was a cheesy-sweet mess that was not refreshing on a blazing hot day. That being said, it wasn’t even close to the worst thing I’ve ever tasted, so I’ll throw it some points.

Kraft Mac  Cheese Ice Cream Sign

Anything else you need to know?

This flavor is currently sold out at all the Van Leeuwen shops and online. So if you really want to try it, keep checking for a restock. Or just drop a powdered cheese pack into a pint of vanilla ice cream.


People have said they liked it. Now, I like A LOT of stuff. Scroll back through my reviews at the ill-advised stuff that I’ll defend. But I can’t here. Only go for this if you’re a hardcore curiosity seeker.

Purchased Price: Free Giveaway
Size: approx. 3 oz. serving
Purchased at: Van Leeuwen ice cream truck
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: not available

First photo courtesy of KraftHeinz. Scoop and sign photos courtesy of Steve Flack (mine melted too fast to photograph!)

REVIEW: Philadelphia Cheesecake Crumble Desserts

Philadelphia Cheesecake Crumble Desserts Package

Self-care is Philadelphia’s new single-serve Cheesecake Crumble Dessert cups.

After nearly 150 years, the Philadelphia cheese mongers finally went beyond providing cheesecake recipes inside the package to give us the actual cheesecake!

OK, technically they call it a three-layer cheesecake with sauce, cheesecake filling, and crumble topping, but it’s all the same deliciousness to me. There are four flavors: Cherry, Chocolate Hazelnut, Original, and Strawberry.

These were so enticing and tasty that my partner ate them all before I could even write a review and he usually leaves my snacks alone. But, after I re-purchased and tried them for myself, I couldn’t blame him.

(From L to R) Original, Strawberry, Cherry, and Chocolate Hazelnut

There were two key thoughtful choices that made this dang good.

First, instead of a dense block of cheesecake filling, it was creamy and smooth with a whipped texture. Whipped cream cheese is my favorite form, but even if it weren’t, this was the right choice for easy eating with a spoon.

Philadelphia Cheesecake Crumble Desserts Toppings

Second, the crumbles were very crOnchy. Yes, cronchy. As someone who always goes for the crust first, I appreciated that it maintained its texture. No soggy crust or crumble in this house please! The amount of crumble was also just right. I was concerned that there wouldn’t be enough just by looking at it, but it was plenty to ensure a consistent eat!

I’m also extra impressed by this because I know Philadelphia doesn’t make grahams or cookies on the regular. I mentioned cookies as the Chocolate Hazelnut flavor is the only one that comes with “rich cookie crumble” and not a “buttery graham crumble.” The graham tasted like regular, crushed up graham crackers and the cookies reminded me of Oreo.

Philadelphia Cheesecake Crumble Desserts Filling

As for the flavor – let’s start with the filling first. It’s truly like having a cheesecake slice in a cup. I got the expected slight tang from the cream cheese balanced by the perfect amount of indulgent sweetness. The chocolate one tasted more chocolate pudding cup-like than hazelnut, but I still was able to taste the tanginess.

Philadelphia Cheesecake Crumble Desserts Cherry Spoon

Three of the four had an additional layer of sauce: cherry, strawberry, and chocolate flavored. I started with the cherry because I was the most skeptical of it – usually cherry-flavored foods taste like cough syrup to me. However, it definitely tasted like real fruit! It was a bit tarter than I had expected, but that was quickly solved by mixing the sauce and filling evenly. The strawberry, though, was just right for me and didn’t require any mixing! I ate the “layers” as-is.

As for the chocolate one, the sauce was negligible. I’m never going to complain about more chocolate goodness, but it was more of a visual difference given the darker color. I was hoping that this would be the hazelnut flavor part, but no dice. Regardless, it was still absolutely delicious. It wasn’t as much as a dealbreaker because unlike the fruit ones, the sauce wasn’t integral to delivering the flavor as the chocolate filling did most of that legwork!

Philadelphia Cheesecake Crumble Desserts Lids

All of this combined was like lightning in a bottle. I’m ready for a pumpkin cheesecake one for PUMPKINUNDATION season please!

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 2 – 3.3oz cups
Purchased at: Meijer
Rating: 10 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (serving size: 1 dessert) Cherry – 290 calories, 18 grams of fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 gram of trans fat, 60 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 19 grams of sugar, 16 grams of added sugar, and 4 grams of protein. Chocolate Hazelnut – 320 calories, 17 grams of fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 gram of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 240 milligrams of sodium, 37 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 26 grams of sugar, 25 grams of added sugar, and 5 grams of protein. Original – 340 calories, 24 grams of fat, 15 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 75 milligrams of cholesterol, 290 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 17 grams of sugar, 16 grams of added sugar, and 5 grams of protein. Strawberry – 290 calories, 18 grams of fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 60 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 19 grams of sugar, 17 grams of added sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Kraft Big Ass Easy Mac Cups

Kraft Easy Mac Large

Okay, so this bigger Kraft Easy Mac Cup isn’t called Big Ass Easy Mac Cup, but it should be since it’s exactly twice the weight of the original size and comparing their sizes would be like comparing Kardashian sister asses.

I reviewed the original size when it was first introduced, and while I liked it very much, one complaint I had about it was that I didn’t think it was very filling and wouldn’t be suitable for a meal. Well, either a lot of people felt the same way or the folks at Kraft read that review and — four years later — the power of this quasi-product review blog compelled them to up the size of their Easy Mac Cups.

Making a Big Ass Easy Mac Cup is extremely easy. On a food preparing scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the computer on the Jetsons that makes anything you tell it to and 1 being the entire process to make homemade bacon that includes everything from hunting the pig in a forest to curing the meat to frying it in a pan, the Big Ass Easy Mac Cup is a 7, which is like making a Cup Noodles.

All one has to do to prepare the Big Ass Easy Mac Cup is fill the container with water up to the fill line, microwave it for three and a half minutes, stir in the cheese sauce mix that eventually turns into a cheese sauce that makes Taco Bell’s cheese sauce look significantly edible, and then enjoy…or ponder the direction your life has taken that has forced you to eat a Big Ass Easy Mac Cup.

Kraft Easy Mac Large 3

The Big Ass Easy Mac Cup has the same level of cheesiness as the original Easy Mac Cup, which I surprisingly enjoyed when I reviewed it. However, while I think the smaller Easy Mac Cup isn’t very filling, its chubbier sibling might be too filling.

About three-fourths of the way through the Big Ass Easy Mac Cup, my mouth felt like I’d just given a 30 minute blowjob to a can on Kraft Easy Cheese. I got sick of its cheesiness and had a hard time finishing it off.

I guess the Big Ass Easy Mac Cup was too big for me.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 package – 440 calories, 70 calories from fat, 8 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 1050 milligrams of sodium, 78 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, 13 grams of protein, 15% calcium and 15% iron.)

Item: Kraft Big Ass Easy Mac Cups
Price: $1.99
Size: 4.1 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Enjoyable cheesiness. Twice the size of regular Easy Mac Cups. Easy to make. The computer on the Jetsons that made their food.
Cons: Too much Easy Mac for me. Sucking on a Kraft Easy Cheese can. Cheese sauce mix makes Taco Bell’s cheese sauce look good. Great source of sodium. The influential power TIB doesn’t have.

REVIEW: Kraft Sandwich Shop Chipotle Mayo

If the chipotle pepper was a person, she would be a prostitute who gets around so much that she can’t even keep track of who she’s flavored or what fast food menu she’s been on. I feel a little sorry for her, because you know it’s not her fault. Major food brands have been pimping this once unique senorita that used to be found only at the finest of Mexican restaurants.

Even though she’s been exploited and used in almost every way conceivable, I still find her flavor delicious and I’m happy she’s been exploited even more by ending up in the Kraft Sandwich Shop Chipotle Mayo.

I don’t want to sound snobbish, but there was a time when I thought I was too good for mayo, refusing to have it touch my sandwiches. Mayonnaise is as boring as watching an LPGA Tournament (also Tiger-less PGA Tournaments). I guess that’s the reason why it comes in white.

Despite receiving a What Not to Wear-like makeover a few years ago, slimming down from a wide jar, which is the equivalent of horizontal stripes on a fat guy, to a sexy squeeze bottle, I still thought mayo was as dull as watching a chick with a skunk stripe in her hair and a guy who has more argyle than the people of Argyll tell people they have no fashion sense.

But all that changed when I was introduced to the Kraft Sandwich Shop Chipotle Mayo, which swept me off of my feet and caused my taste buds to orgasm in unison. I never would have thought a condiment could do that to me, and I never would have considered mayonnaise being the one I’d go all porno with, but this spicy mayo brings out a side of me that could only be found in the seediest of neighborhoods on the internet where malt liquor flows from fountains and Paladins are turning tricks for plate armor.

The Kraft Sandwich Shop Chipotle Mayo has a gentle kick that really enhances the flavor of any cold cut you can slap between two slices of bread, with the exception of the barf-worthy olive loaf or the even creepier macaroni and cheese loaf.

I hate when companies say their meals are “bistro-inspired” or taste as good as a panini from a quaint little café in Tuscany (*cough* Lean Cuisine *cough*), but Kraft did their research on this mayo, because it reminded me of the spread on a chipotle chicken wrap that I used to order at a restaurant in Metro Boston.

Thanks to this spicy mayo, I now have one less reason to visit my old stomping grounds. The only things left to attract me back to Boston are seeing the foliage and visiting those weird people who gave me life and are still supporting my lazy ass.

Kraft has other flavors of mayo in their new Sandwich Shop line. I’ve tried the garlic and herb, but it didn’t do anything for me like the Kraft Sandwich Shop Chipotle Mayo did. What can I say, I love the spicy flavor and sluttiness chipotle brings.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 tbsp – 40 calories, 4 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 2 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2.5 milligrams of cholesterol, 120 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 0 grams of sugar and 0 grams of protein.)

Item: Kraft Sandwich Shop Chipotle Mayo
Price: $2.59
Size: 12 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Damn good. Makes a boring sandwich a “gourmet” sandwich with one little squirt. Doesn’t have that globby mayonnaise appearance. Malt liquor flowing from fountains. Argyle sweaters.
Cons: No fat-free version available yet. Olive loaf. Paladins turning tricks. Macaroni and Cheese loaf. Watching golf.

REVIEW: Kraft Velveeta Original Shells & Cheese Cup

Kraft Velveeta Original Shells & Cheese Cup

Have you ever heard this old joke?

A woman walks into a supermarket and buys the following: a bar of soap, a toothbrush, a tube of toothpaste, a loaf of bread, a pint of milk, a single serving of cereal and a single frozen dinner.

The checkout guy looks at her, smiles, and says, “Single, huh?”

The girl smiles sheepishly and replies, “How’d you guess?”

He says, “Because you’re ugly.”

If one wanted to modernize the joke, they could easily add the single-serving Kraft Velveeta Original Shells & Cheese Cup to that list. While doing research on the product, I found out that even Kraft admits it’s perfect for those who eat alone. So not only can we determine someone’s loneliness by the number of cats they own or the number of pornographic sites they subscribe to, but also by their purchase of the Velveeta Original Shells & Cheese Cup.

Because it doesn’t need any refrigeration, it’s one of those products you can leave in your desk at work and forget about. And then when you’re really hungry and look through your desk for something to eat, you’ll find it and be moderately surprised. It would be like finding loose change in between couch cushions, five bucks in the pocket of something you haven’t worn in months, a condom in the back of a drawer or a piece of steak in between your molars.

While each cup doesn’t contain enough for an entire meal, it does make a nice snack or side dish while you watch your cats or the Bang Bus website (please don’t Google “Bang Bus” at work or at home). The concept of the Velveeta Original Shells & Cheese Cup is similar to the Kraft Easy Mac Cups; add water, microwave for three and a half minutes and then mix in the cheese, except instead of using a cheese powder, the Velveeta Cup uses a packet of creamy cheese sauce.

The result of all that preparation was a decent cheesy snack that tasted similar to the Easy Mac Cup. I can’t say which was better, but I guess it depends on how radioactive orange you like your cheese. The shell pasta came out tender and although the cheese flavor was slightly watery at first, thanks to the excess water used to boil the pasta, after a little more stirring it turned out fine. In the end, the Kraft Velveeta Original Shells & Cheese Cup is just like scrambled porn channels with really fuzzy images and muzzled sound — it’s good enough.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 package – 220 calories, 8 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 640 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, 8 grams of protein, 2% vitamin A, 10% calcium and 6% iron.)

Item: Kraft Velveeta Original Shells & Cheese Cup
Price: $1.24
Size: 2.39 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Decently cheesy. Uses a cheese sauce instead of a cheese powder. Easy to prepare. Doesn’t need to be refrigerated. Finding five bucks in the pocket of something you haven’t worn in months. Paying for porn when you can get a lot of it for free on the internet.
Cons: Small serving size, so I won’t make a good meal. Turns out to be a little watery at first, but a little more stirring helps. Owning more than eight cats. High in sodium.