REVIEW: Nestle Coffee mate Pop-Tarts Toasted Brown Sugar Cinnamon Creamer

Nestle Coffee mate Pop-Tarts Toasted Brown Sugar Cinnamon Creamer Bottle

What is it?

First off, it’s a mouthful to type, though that extremely long name does a pretty good job at describing exactly what you’re in for: a coffee creamer flavored after the best (yes, I said it!) Pop-Tart flavor. The past few years have seen all kinds of novelty coffee creamers – heck, I bought three new ones on my last grocery run alone – but as far as I can tell, this is the first java jaunt for the best toaster pastry (yes, I said that too!). Oh, and like seemingly all my favorite products, it’s available for a limited time only.

How is it?

SWEET. I guess that’s a given, but I feel the sweetness of a brown sugar cinnamon Pop-Tart is mellower, balanced out both by the underlying toasty, almost nutty notes of the frosting and filling and the comforting blandness of the pastry itself. When the flavor is transposed into a liquid, there are no such layers.

Nestle Coffee mate Pop-Tarts Toasted Brown Sugar Cinnamon Creamer Closeup in a Shot Glass

Sipped directly from a shot glass seeing its first use since my college days, there was a lovely warmth and complexity to said sweetness that sets this somewhat apart from your run-of-the-mill creamer, though it tasted more caramelly to me than brown sugar-y or cinnamon-y. But paired with coffee, I initially couldn’t detect that intriguing nuance at all. It didn’t taste much different than any other cup of joe I’d previously imbued with a wacky creamer. So for science – and because this blog is the last place where I should be ashamed of my sweet tooth – I doubled the amount of creamer. The brown sugar cinnamon flavor finally started to shine, and it was delicious!

Nestle Coffee mate Pop-Tarts Toasted Brown Sugar Cinnamon Creamer Back of Bottle That Describes its flavor

Anything else you need to know?

After removing the large lid to open the seal, I had difficulty screwing it back on completely, leading to a sizable leak when I made my first pour. I’m pretty clumsy though, so your mileage may vary!

Conclusion:

I had to ride a bus for an hour to find this creamer, and while I wouldn’t necessarily beseech you to do the same, if you can grab it more easily, it’s definitely worth checking out.

Purchased Price: $3.98
Size: 32 fl oz
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 tbsp) 35 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 5 milligrams of sodium, 5 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Snickerdoodle Pop-Tarts

Snickerdoodle Pop Tarts Box

When I heard there was a Snickerdoodle Pop-Tart out, I was excited because I happen to love cookies, and I figured it’s hard to screw up something like cinnamon and sugar, right? They sounded more up my breakfast alley than flavors like Peach Cobbler or Everything Bagel. Turns out I was wrong. From my first glance at this box, I feared something had gone awry. The packaging couldn’t be more lackluster, and it represents the contents accurately.

Snickerdoodle Pop Tarts Cracks

Straight out of the foil, these Pop-Tarts are too soft and crumbly to hold themselves together. One was splitting so badly along multiple fault lines that it could definitely never be placed in a conventional toaster. I thought it was a fluke, but upon picking up the other one, it became clear that it, too, was ready to fall apart unless I used the utmost care and immediately set it down. They’re sprinkled with coarse-grained sugar, which is nice in many applications but not what one typically rolls snickerdoodles in. These sugar pebbles atop the sandy-bordering-on-gray pastry base make for an ugly appearance, but there’s no reason to hold that against them just yet.

Snickerdoodle Pop Tarts Filling

I’ll eat Pop-Tarts any way they come to me, so I set about snacking on discrepant pieces of the first pastry as an initial test while I waited for the second to toast (with a silent prayer it didn’t collapse in the process). They taste pretty generic, and I can’t keep them from further falling apart in my hands. I’m missing the classic tang you’d typically find in a snickerdoodle, usually present thanks to cream of tartar that adds flavor and chew to the cookie. The filling is weirdly viscous and kind of gluey, like what you’d find in a not great pecan pie.

Snickerdoodle Pop Tarts Stretch

The toasted pastry emerged almost slightly burnt in places, but it managed to only lose one corner to crumbliness. The darker toasted parts of this remind me of burnt marshmallows, which isn’t normally a bad thing but isn’t anything I associate with snickerdoodles. The more I ate of both the toasted and untoasted tarts, the more both seemed to be mostly flavored like cinnamon-y marshmallows.

I refuse to believe this is a thing that anyone does, but because the box always claims that you can enjoy them frozen, I threw one in the freezer to complete the experience. The cooling muted some of the marshmallow flavor, but the filling is even less agreeable when it’s cold, stretching as you pull off a piece and slowly contracting in an unappetizing fashion.

Snickerdoodle Pop Tarts Toasted

Everything about this flavor seems thrown together, possibly by someone who’s never eaten a snickerdoodle or made a Pop-Tart. They aren’t bad necessarily, although the filling texture is off, but there’s nothing to really set them apart or make them worth trying. They could as easily have been called “Sugar and Cinnamon” or “Cinnamon Roll” or maybe “Cinnamon Corn Syrup” as “Snickerdoodle,” and because I consider the regular Frosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon version to be top-tier, it makes me wonder why they’d bother with these.

Purchased Price: $3.49
Size: 8 count box
Purchased at: Jewel-Osco
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 pastries) 380 calories, 11 grams of total fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 440 milligrams of sodium, 67 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 24 grams of total sugars, and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Banner Butter x Pop-Tarts Limited Edition Kit

Buttertarts1 pkg

What is the Banner Butter x Pop-Tarts Limited Edition Kit?

Apparently, slathering butter on your freshly-toasted Pop-Tarts is a thing? I had no idea. As the person who believed for 20+ years that I had invented dipping Wendy’s fries into Frostys, I really should have known.

Buttertarts2 contents

Atlanta-based Banner Butter teamed up with Kellogg’s to make a combo kit of Pop-Tarts’ most iconic flavors and two small pats each of six Banner’s flavored butters. The packaging had suggested pairings, which is what I tried (with a couple of additional twists).

Buttertarts3 butter

How are they?

First up – Strawberry Pop-Tart with Sea Salt Butter. This was the basic proof-of-concept. And yeah, it was delicious. The butter gave the commercially-bland Pop-Tarts’ pastry the flavor of real, laminated pastry dough. (But did we need that?)

Buttertarts4 pats

Next, Strawberry Pop-Tart with Balsamic Fig and Caramelized Onion Butter. This was my favorite of all the butters – a nice sweet/savory combo. It gave the Pop-Tart a flavor complexity it usually lacks.

Buttertarts5 strawb

Then, Chocolate Fudge PTs with Cinnamon, Cardamom & Ginger butter and Honey Habanero butter. The Cinnamon/Cardamom/Ginger butter was great, but the chocolate overwhelmed it a bit. The Honey Habanero butter gave the chocolate a dark intensity and a little heat – similar to a chili-tinged Mexican hot chocolate.

Buttertarts6 fudge

Lastly, the Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tarts with Strawberry butter and Dark Chocolate butter. These were both meh. The strawberry got lost in the cinnamon, and the dark chocolate just tasted like added cocoa powder.

Buttertarts7 cinnamon

Brown Sugar Cinnamon PTs are one of my favorites, so I also tried them with the Balsamic Fig & Caramelized Onion butter and the Cinnamon, Cardamom & Ginger butter. They both worked way better than the suggested pairing. Balsamic Fig brought the same complexity as it did to the strawberry PTs. The Cinnamon, Cardamom & Ginger butter added an “adult” feeling. Both great butters.

Overall, I really liked some of the flavors here, but wasn’t sure about the “upgrading” of PTs. I love Pop-Tarts in all their naked, untoasted glory. If I wanted something that tasted like a fine French pastry, I’d just go buy the real thing. Give me my pasty pastry in a foil bag. That being said, Kellogg’s, why aren’t you just doing this yourselves? Cinnamon Cardamom & Ginger Pop-Tarts? Spicy Chocolate Pop-Tarts for winter? C’mon.

Buttertarts8 combos

Anything else you need to know?

This kit sold out a while ago, but you can get the same experience ordering Banner Butter and purchasing Pop-Tarts at the store. Or buy other butters. Or make your own compound butter – just soften some butter, mix in the good stuff, and let it sit in the fridge.

Conclusion:

If you’re a Buttered-Pop-Tarts stan, this fancy-butter-combo is definitely for you. If you’re just hearing about it, give it a whirl with whatever you have on hand. If you like your Pop-Tarts lowbrow like I do, try it for fun, but don’t expect it to become your regular thing.

Purchased Price: $25.00
Size: (3) 13.5oz / 8-pastry boxes of Pop-Tarts, (12) 2 tbsp. pats of butter
Purchased at: bannerbutter.com
Rating: 7 out of 10 (although the Balsamic Fig and Cinnamon Butters alone are 9 out of 10!)
Nutrition Facts: (For butters – 2 tbsp or ½ of a pat) Sea Salt – 100 calories, 11 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 0 grams of sugar, including 0 grams of added sugars, and 0 grams of protein. Balsamic Fig & Caramelized Onion – 110 calories, 11 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 2 grams of sugar, including less than 1 gram of added sugars, and 1 gram of protein. Cinnamon, Cardamom & Ginger – 110 calories, 11 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 15 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 2 grams of sugar, including less than 1 gram of added sugars, and 1 gram of protein. Honey Habanero – 110 calories, 11 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 50 milligrams of sodium, less than 1 gram of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, including 0 grams of added sugars, and 1 gram of protein. Strawberry – 110 calories, 11 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 15 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 2 grams of sugar, including 0 grams of added sugars, and 1 gram of protein. Dark Chocolate – 110 calories, 12 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 15 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 2 grams of sugar, including less than 1 gram of added sugars, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Frosted Boston Creme Donut and Frosted Apple Fritter Pop-Tarts

Frosted Boston Creme Donut and Frosted Apple Fritter Pop Tarts

On a website full of reviewers devoted to seeking out the greatest junk food, claiming any sort of donut expertise would involve Icarus-level hubris, and I’m not trying to drown in a sea of comments. However, as a native Bay Stater turned Southern California resident, I’ve spent my life in two places that are well known for the treat and feel comfortable claiming a deep love for doughnuts, which I spelled in full to pay proper respect. And of all the varieties that can make up a delicious dozen, someone from Massachusetts especially appreciates the donut shop staples that inspired the two newest Pop-Tarts: the Boston cream donut and the apple fritter. I was excited to see how they fared in toaster pastry form.

Frosted Boston Creme Donut Pop Tarts Icing

Let’s start with the Frosted Boston Creme Donut. I was skeptical because the bakery item this ‘Tart is based on is no slouch. We’re talking about the official state donut of the home of Dunkin’ Donuts here. But they certainly smelled like a Boston cream donut in the foil and looked exactly as a Pop-Tart version would and should. After taking a bite, I had to admit it was pretty close. The chocolate on top was too mild to evoke the thick frosting that would be on a donut but tasted nice. The custard filling was rich with hints of butterscotch, though achingly, unflinchingly sweet. I wouldn’t want to eat this for breakfast. But I never eat Boston cream donuts before noon, either.

Frosted Boston Creme Donut Pop Tarts Split

I’m not sure if heating up Boston cream donuts is a thing, but of the four ways one can enjoy a Pop-Tart according to the box (as-is, frozen, microwaved, and toasted), I thought toasted was the clear winner. It really intensified the chocolate flavor and made for a more balanced bite.

Frosted Apple Fritter Pop Tarts Icing

The Frosted Apple Fritter Pop-Tart felt like very comfortable territory for the brand. Fruit and frosting is a no-brainer for them at this point, and one could argue this was a little phoned-in. It smelled like any basic apple baked good but was not easily recognizable as an apple fritter. I had a similar feeling about the flavor. Knowing what it was supposed to taste like, I could convince myself that the frosting was like the hearty coating of glaze on a good fritter. The dried apples that found themselves in the “Contains 2% or less of” section of the ingredients packed a wonderful sharp appley punch (next level food science) that seemed to be coated in the same cinnamon as the chunks that dot the real thing. If I’m being honest with myself? This was just a very good apple Pop-Tart.

Frosted Apple Fritter Pop Tarts Split

If you need this one to taste like a fritter, I did find freezing it brought it closer to its namesake’s flavor profile. If you want to have a great time and don’t care about the name on the box, toast it. Hot apple cinnamon filling never hurt anybody. Okay, never hurt anybody patient enough to let it cool down enough first.

When I reflected on them as a pair, I realized the flavors were technically successful but shared the same fatal flaw: they aren’t exclusively donut flavors to begin with. The apples in a fritter are reminiscent of pie filling, and the Boston cream donut is unapologetically supposed to taste like a type of cake. Those flavors paired with a crumbly pastry crust? Well, to loosely quote a line said to a fellow donut lover on The Simpsons, ’tis a fine pie/cake Pop-Tart, but sure ‘tis no donut Pop-Tart.

So, they miss out on the same respect I pay doughnuts. But I do respect Pop-Tarts for always trying to give us offerings that are both comfortingly familiar and intriguingly unexpected.

Purchased Price: $3.29 (Both)
Size: 8-pack box (Both)
Purchased at: Shaw’s (Both)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Frosted Boston Creme Donut), 7 out of 10 (Frosted Apple Fritter)
Nutrition Facts: (2 pastries) Frosted Boston Creme Donut – 370 calories, 9 grams of fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 mg of cholesterol, 250 milligrams of sodium, 70 grams of total carbohydrates, 31 grams of total sugars, 1 gram of fiber, and 4 grams of protein. Frosted Apple Fritter – 370 calories, 9 grams of fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 mg of cholesterol, 260 milligrams of sodium, 69 grams of total carbohydrates, 29 grams of total sugars, 1 gram of fiber, and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Eggo Frosted Maple Flavor Pop-Tarts

Eggo Frosted Maple Pop Tarts Box

Oreo seems to get all the hype, but I’m not sure any snack brand has had more flavor variations over the years than Pop-Tarts.

Sure, I could probably look that up and get you exact figures, but I’m too lazy. After all, I DID eat a Pop-Tart for breakfast today.

To be fair, Pop-Tarts may be a “lazy” breakfast, but they are the KINGS of lazy on-the-go breakfasts, and that’s exactly why I’ve always appreciated them.

Don’t feel like putting forth even the slightest bit of cooking effort? Grab an ol’ reliable Pop-Tart. You’ll still feel like you actually ate breakfast, especially now that they’ve teamed up with another breakfast staple, Eggo.

A handheld pastry that tastes like Eggo waffles? Sounds like a hall of fame “lazy” breakfast to me.

Eggo Frosted Maple Pop Tarts Frosting

Well, it sounded like one at least…

I wouldn’t necessarily say these BURST with flavor. They do a decent job toeing the line between the two familiar experiences each brand brings to the table, but I’m a little baffled.

I wanted to be waffled.

Eggo Frosted Maple Pop Tarts Split

You get some maple syrup, but it’s cut with that very distinct Pop-Tart crust taste and texture. Imagine pouring Pop-Tart crust batter into a waffle iron. It tastes wayyyyy more like Pop-Tart than waffle, to the point “Eggo” just feels there in name only. “Eggo” must only be repping the maple flavor because these only kinda taste like Hint o’ Waffles.

There’s a dab of “butteriness” in there too, which I liked. I thought maybe the yellow icing was butter flavored, but upon isolating it, it just had a generic sugary flavor. I guess that butter also came from the crust, and maybe that’s ultimately where the “waffle” plays in.

Pop-Tart pastry is just the dominant flavor, even more so than the maple filling and icing, which makes these kinda bland overall. They smell like maple, though, which is always a welcome aroma.

Eggo Frosted Maple Pop Tarts Toasted

I’m not a huge toasted Pop-Tart guy, I usually just go pouch to mouth, but this seemed as good a flavor as any to eat warm. The toaster didn’t really improve the experience, but hey, at least I managed to burn my palm on the scolding hot icing!

So yeah, whether you lazily eat your Pop-Tarts right out of the pouch or toast them, these just come away tasting like mildly sweet Maple Pop-Tarts. They’re not terrible. They’re mid-tier, and I like them better than the Maple Bacon flavor from a few years ago. That being said, they’re still disappointing since they almost accomplished what they set out to do.

I bought 16 of these things, so they’ll stick around for a bit, but I don’t necessarily mind knowing I’ll have ’em there for some future lazy mornings. I may even get adventurous and use them as bread in an egg and sausage sandwich at some point… if I have the energy. Meh, maybe I won’t. Who knows? I’m going to take a nap.

Purchased Price: $4.14
Size: 16-pack box
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 pastries) 380 calories, 12 grams of fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 mg of cholesterol, 330 milligrams of sodium, 67 grams of total carbohydrates, 30 grams of total sugars, 0 grams of fiber, and 4 grams of protein.