REVIEW: Pop-Tarts Crunchy Poppers

I’m not sure why these new Pop-Tarts Crunchy Poppers exist.

Pop-Tarts already has a snack-sized product called Pop-Tarts Bites, which has been around since 2019 and still exists. I’m no conspiracy theorist, but maybe it’s Kellogg’s attempt to remove the Pop-Tarts Bites line without much fanfare, similar to how it quietly removed its name from the front of Pop-Tarts boxes.

Pop-Tarts Crunchy Poppers are available in two varieties: Frosted Strawberry Crunch and Frosted Brownie Crunch. From what I can tell, these Crunchy Poppers are crunchier and smaller than Pop-Tarts Bites. Each box comes with ten pouches, each of which contains 11 pieces that remind me of tiny hot dogs (yes, even the brownie ones), and I like them enough that I wish they came in one large, resealable, and shareable pouch. For now, I’ll just dump whatever I have left into a Ziplock bag and label it “Share Size.” But, spoiler alert, I won’t share them. Nom nom nom.

Let’s start with the texture of these poppable snacks, which are crunchier than a Pop-Tart toasted at almost every browning level, except, of course, the highest, which usually make Pop-Tarts look like they were dipped in Hell. Their crunchiness makes me wish Kellogg’s could figure out how to make regular Pop-Tarts this crunchy right out of its foil packaging. Imagine not having to toast them and burn your mouth with the molten filling anymore. That would be heaven.

As for their flavors, well, they taste like the Pop-Tarts we know and occasionally burn our mouths with. Frosted Strawberry Crunch tastes exactly like the popular Frosted Strawberry Pop-Tarts, while the Frosted Brownie Crunch reminds me of the Frosted Chocolate Fudge Pop-Tarts. If you buy both varieties, I recommend combining the two in your mouth for some chocolate-dipped strawberry-like goodness. Even though the pieces are small they do have enough filling to pack a flavor punch.

Pop-Tarts Crunchy Poppers are a fine snack, and because of their texture, I feel they’re better than Pop-Tarts Bites. So, it might be time to say goodbye to Pop-Tarts Bites.

Purchased Price: $8.29 each*
Size: 10 pouches
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10 (both)
Nutrition Facts: (1 pouch) Strawberry – 110 calories, 2 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 105 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 9 grams of sugar (including 9 grams of added sugar), and less than 1 gram of protein. Brownie – 110 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 100 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 9 grams of sugar (including 9 grams of added sugar), and less than 1 gram of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

REVIEW: Apple Jacks Pop-Tarts

We’ve seen Kellogg’s mash-up its breakfast brands before with Eggo and Froot Loops flavored Pop-Tarts, so it’s only natural it would try an Apple Jacks version. Apple Jacks is a curious choice to use as a flavor for something else though because what really is its flavor besides “Apple Jacks”? They famously don’t taste much like apples, and there isn’t a lot of cinnamon, either.

If you were to blindly taste Apple Jacks, you’d probably say they seem like a sugary cereal, and if you were to rip open the foil on any Pop-Tart, they’re first and foremost going to give off a general Pop-Tart aroma and flavor. This is really what they have in common: they both taste like breakfasts of your youth that are pretty unremarkable, but damn if you don’t love them anyway. Kellogg’s knows this, which is why Apple Jacks has the slogan, “We eat what we like!” So, do we like these Pop-Tarts?

I like Apple Jacks, and I like Pop-Tarts, so it should be a winning formula. All they need to do is taste like a breakfast I would have eaten in 3rd grade. After opening a pouch, my initial expectations were met. These have the classic bland pastry base that may or may not be discarded (depending on how hungry you are) in favor of the more coveted middle section with frosting and sugar goo. The frosting is less generously applied than the box indicates, and there are sugar sprinkles in colors corresponding to Apple Jacks. They have that classic Pop-Tart smell and are visually kind of cute, although maybe I only think that because the last Pop-Tarts I reviewed looked like they’d been dropped in dirt.

Breaking one open, I was struck by how orange the filling was. If Kellogg’s ever wants to make a carrot-flavored variety, it should keep this dye combo in mind. The untoasted tarts taste pretty much like you’d think, sweetly nondescript. I don’t pick up on any apple, which should make all those kids from the 90’s era Apple Jacks commercials proud. If I’m trying to hone in on a flavor, the main one I get is cinnamon, and this is where things go awry for me.

It’s not a gentle cinnamon; it’s a hot cinnamon candy taste. If you’ve had Red Hots or Atomic Fireballs, this is akin to that but not nearly as strong. I usually think toasting Pop-Tarts improves them by taking away some of the flouriness and boosting the flavors, but this isn’t a flavor I want amplified. When heated, the hot cinnamon is definitely more pronounced. This is a negative for me because I dislike the flavor, and it doesn’t remind me of the cereal. It isn’t so overpowering that I think it would bother everyone, but it’s enough of a turnoff that I wouldn’t consider buying them again. Perhaps it only makes sense that if Apple Jacks doesn’t taste like apples, Apple Jacks Pop-Tarts shouldn’t taste like Apple Jacks.

Purchased Price: $4.29
Size: 8 count box
Purchased at: Mariano’s
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 pastries) 370 calories, 9 grams of total fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 70 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 28 grams of total sugars, and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Frosted Banana Bread Pop-Tarts

I bet it’s really fun to work on Pop-Tarts. The brand is iconic, the average consumer understands it’s not a “better for you food” (unless influenced by Spencer Sheehan… side eye), and the product mimics any manner of other sweet food types you can think of! Like the ocean of available potato chip varieties, I’ll always be curious to try a new Pop-Tart. This is especially true about its latest — Frosted Banana Bread Pop-Tarts.

I love banana bread. It’s basically cake for breakfast. But more importantly, I think banana bread is a very authentic fit for a Pop-Tart emulation. I decided to try these in the two standard preparation styles — toasted and un-toasted. I am not dedicated to either camp. I think each flavor has a best preparation method, but neither is best for every variety. For example, I think Cherry Pop-Tarts are freaking incredible toasted. A lot of the chocolate versions are better, in my opinion, un-toasted.

Anyway, I decided to try the Frosted Banana Bread Pop-Tart un-toasted first because, well, I had to wait for the other one to toast. I know, rocket science. Its crust is visibly more brown than Pop-Tarts’ core fruit flavors, and I could see many little cinnamon speckles throughout. The crust was subtly sweet with brown sugar/molasses notes and a hint of cinnamon. Pretty tasty and plenty reminiscent of banana bread.

The flavor of the center and insides was complicated. The filling on the inside had a more realistic banana puree taste, while the icing was like artificial banana candy. It wasn’t overpowering, but they were distinct flavors. I don’t love that artificial taste, so I wished they’d released this one as an un-frosted variety. But the filling, while delicious, was just way too mild to carry this breakfast pastry alone. That would have been very boring. What a conundrum!

Around this time, my toaster oven dinged, and I got to try the whole experience again with a toasted Pop-Tart, and WOW that made a WORLD of difference. Once toasted, the crust was far more pronounced, bringing a nice cinnamon-y base layer. But the filling! The filling, when toasted, just exploded with real banana flavor. I peeped the ingredient line and realized there is actual banana powder in these, so maybe that’s what was doing it? I still could have done without the super sweet frosting, but wow. That filling and crust combo (when toasted) was great.

Overall I thought this was a fun Pop-Tart that seemed like a long time coming. The banana candy frosting isn’t for everyone, but if you enjoy that flavor, grab a box of these as fast as you can and definitely put them in the toaster.

Purchased Price: $4.29
Size: 13.5 oz box / 8 pastries
Purchased at: Mariano’s (Kroger)
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (per 2 pastries) 360 calories, 9 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 360 milligrams of sodium, 71 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 34 grams of sugar (including 34 grams of added sugar), and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Nestle Coffee mate Pop-Tarts Toasted Brown Sugar Cinnamon Creamer

Nestle Coffee mate Pop-Tarts Toasted Brown Sugar Cinnamon Creamer Bottle

What is it?

First off, it’s a mouthful to type, though that extremely long name does a pretty good job at describing exactly what you’re in for: a coffee creamer flavored after the best (yes, I said it!) Pop-Tart flavor. The past few years have seen all kinds of novelty coffee creamers – heck, I bought three new ones on my last grocery run alone – but as far as I can tell, this is the first java jaunt for the best toaster pastry (yes, I said that too!). Oh, and like seemingly all my favorite products, it’s available for a limited time only.

How is it?

SWEET. I guess that’s a given, but I feel the sweetness of a brown sugar cinnamon Pop-Tart is mellower, balanced out both by the underlying toasty, almost nutty notes of the frosting and filling and the comforting blandness of the pastry itself. When the flavor is transposed into a liquid, there are no such layers.

Nestle Coffee mate Pop-Tarts Toasted Brown Sugar Cinnamon Creamer Closeup in a Shot Glass

Sipped directly from a shot glass seeing its first use since my college days, there was a lovely warmth and complexity to said sweetness that sets this somewhat apart from your run-of-the-mill creamer, though it tasted more caramelly to me than brown sugar-y or cinnamon-y. But paired with coffee, I initially couldn’t detect that intriguing nuance at all. It didn’t taste much different than any other cup of joe I’d previously imbued with a wacky creamer. So for science – and because this blog is the last place where I should be ashamed of my sweet tooth – I doubled the amount of creamer. The brown sugar cinnamon flavor finally started to shine, and it was delicious!

Nestle Coffee mate Pop-Tarts Toasted Brown Sugar Cinnamon Creamer Back of Bottle That Describes its flavor

Anything else you need to know?

After removing the large lid to open the seal, I had difficulty screwing it back on completely, leading to a sizable leak when I made my first pour. I’m pretty clumsy though, so your mileage may vary!

Conclusion:

I had to ride a bus for an hour to find this creamer, and while I wouldn’t necessarily beseech you to do the same, if you can grab it more easily, it’s definitely worth checking out.

Purchased Price: $3.98
Size: 32 fl oz
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 tbsp) 35 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 5 milligrams of sodium, 5 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Snickerdoodle Pop-Tarts

Snickerdoodle Pop Tarts Box

When I heard there was a Snickerdoodle Pop-Tart out, I was excited because I happen to love cookies, and I figured it’s hard to screw up something like cinnamon and sugar, right? They sounded more up my breakfast alley than flavors like Peach Cobbler or Everything Bagel. Turns out I was wrong. From my first glance at this box, I feared something had gone awry. The packaging couldn’t be more lackluster, and it represents the contents accurately.

Snickerdoodle Pop Tarts Cracks

Straight out of the foil, these Pop-Tarts are too soft and crumbly to hold themselves together. One was splitting so badly along multiple fault lines that it could definitely never be placed in a conventional toaster. I thought it was a fluke, but upon picking up the other one, it became clear that it, too, was ready to fall apart unless I used the utmost care and immediately set it down. They’re sprinkled with coarse-grained sugar, which is nice in many applications but not what one typically rolls snickerdoodles in. These sugar pebbles atop the sandy-bordering-on-gray pastry base make for an ugly appearance, but there’s no reason to hold that against them just yet.

Snickerdoodle Pop Tarts Filling

I’ll eat Pop-Tarts any way they come to me, so I set about snacking on discrepant pieces of the first pastry as an initial test while I waited for the second to toast (with a silent prayer it didn’t collapse in the process). They taste pretty generic, and I can’t keep them from further falling apart in my hands. I’m missing the classic tang you’d typically find in a snickerdoodle, usually present thanks to cream of tartar that adds flavor and chew to the cookie. The filling is weirdly viscous and kind of gluey, like what you’d find in a not great pecan pie.

Snickerdoodle Pop Tarts Stretch

The toasted pastry emerged almost slightly burnt in places, but it managed to only lose one corner to crumbliness. The darker toasted parts of this remind me of burnt marshmallows, which isn’t normally a bad thing but isn’t anything I associate with snickerdoodles. The more I ate of both the toasted and untoasted tarts, the more both seemed to be mostly flavored like cinnamon-y marshmallows.

I refuse to believe this is a thing that anyone does, but because the box always claims that you can enjoy them frozen, I threw one in the freezer to complete the experience. The cooling muted some of the marshmallow flavor, but the filling is even less agreeable when it’s cold, stretching as you pull off a piece and slowly contracting in an unappetizing fashion.

Snickerdoodle Pop Tarts Toasted

Everything about this flavor seems thrown together, possibly by someone who’s never eaten a snickerdoodle or made a Pop-Tart. They aren’t bad necessarily, although the filling texture is off, but there’s nothing to really set them apart or make them worth trying. They could as easily have been called “Sugar and Cinnamon” or “Cinnamon Roll” or maybe “Cinnamon Corn Syrup” as “Snickerdoodle,” and because I consider the regular Frosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon version to be top-tier, it makes me wonder why they’d bother with these.

Purchased Price: $3.49
Size: 8 count box
Purchased at: Jewel-Osco
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 pastries) 380 calories, 11 grams of total fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 440 milligrams of sodium, 67 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 24 grams of total sugars, and 4 grams of protein.