REVIEW: Kellogg’s Pop-Tarts Bites

Kellogg s Pop Tarts Bites

Do you wake up precisely 43 seconds before you need to be out the door? Or maybe you have a heart condition, and the sudden POP! of the toaster would too much for the ol’ ticker? Or perhaps you don’t like your kids too much, and don’t want to do anything that could be mistaken as cooking for them?

If so, Pop-Tarts Bites are the product for you! Able to go from box to mouth in under 10 seconds, these bite-sized pieces promise the classic Frosted Strawberry or Frosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon flavor without all that tedious toasting.

An even faster, less labor-intensive version of toasted Pop-Tarts may seem like a product in search of a problem, but I’m willing to be convinced. After all, I’m a guy so impatient that I’ve never successfully cooked a TV dinner using the conventional oven instructions. I always get tired of waiting and throw it in the microwave.

Kellogg s Pop Tarts Bites Pouches

I open a pouch of each and stick my nose in deep to sniff that classic Pop-Tart scent of slightly undercooked pastry. The Brown Sugar Cinnamon has an additional spice scent, and the strawberry strongly reminds me of strawberry jam. So far, the experience is identical to regular Pop Tarts.

I pop a Brown Sugar Cinnamon Bite into my mouth, crunch through the frosting, and into the sugary center. These taste like Pop-Tarts. The Brown Sugar Cinnamon Bites have a kick of spice to them, and the Strawberry Bites have a nice tartness, but these are fundamentally the popular toaster pastry.

Kellogg s Pop Tarts Bites Innards

If anything, they’re a bit more monotonous. With a traditional Pop-Tart, you can vary the eating experience by adjusting the amount of filled center vs. unfilled edge in each bite. I know I’m not the only one who likes to nibble away all the edge first, leaving the super sugary center for last. It’s also possible I way over think these things.

For me, the major drawback to these is that they can’t be toasted. While I understand one of the selling points of Pop-Tarts is that they allow you to eat breakfast while still in REM sleep, I’ve always preferred them toasted. Having a “cooked” breakfast will enable me to maintain the facade of being a functional adult. Plus, it gets rid of the aforementioned undercooked dough flavor. A brief 20 second trip in the microwave results in a pillowy crust and warm filling, an improvement, but one not intended by the manufacturer.

Everything you need to know about Pop-Tarts Bites is right there in the name. They’re mini bite-sized Pop-Tarts. They deliver precisely that but don’t add much to the Pop-Tarts Extended Universe.

Purchased Price: $4.98
Size: 10 pouches/box
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 pouch) Strawberry – 150 calories, 3 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 15 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein. Brown Sugar Cinnamon – 150 calories, 3.5 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 grams of fiber, 15 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Frosted Crisp Apple Pop-Tarts

Frosted Crisp Apple Pop Tarts

What are Frosted Crisp Apple Pop-Tarts?

They’re a Walmart-exclusive variety that’s now a part of the seemingly endless list of Pop-Tarts flavors.

How are they?

Frosted Crisp Apple Pop Tarts 3

Filled with potential but ultimately pretty average. OK, it’s actually filled with apple goo, and that part is tasty. The flavor and consistency reminded me of the hot apple lava that McDonald’s puts in their pies, but not the new, less sugar “healthier” filling it started using a few months ago. It’s more of the previous, full-sugar version.

As an aside, I pity those of you who are not old enough to remember when Mickey D’s would fry their apple pies. Sure, you risked severe burns on the inside of your mouth by eating one, but they were so much better than the baked versions of today.

Frosted Crisp Apple Pop Tarts 2

Back to the Pop-Tarts though, and this version seems kind of like a missed opportunity. Yes, the apple filling is good, but with the standard white Pop-Tarts frosting this doesn’t really distinguish itself from any other regular fruit flavor. Previous members of the apple Pop-Tart family, like caramel apple, cinnamon apple, apple strudel and Jolly Rancher green apple, had something special going on outside with either a flavored and colorful frosting or some type of coating.

This variety is not bad, but maybe the Pop-Tarts people could have tried a little harder to come up with something new and unique. And no, adding “crisp” in front of apple doesn’t count.

Is there anything else you need to know?

It appears that Walmart only offers these in the 16-count “Value Pack” rather than the standard 8-count boxes, so make sure you are prepared for that kind of commitment before purchasing.

Conclusion:

If you are a Pop-Tarts and a crisp apple enthusiast, then you’ll probably enjoy these, but even then it’s unlikely you’ll be itching to stock up before they disappear.

If your goal in life is to try every Pop-Tart flavor ever made, then congrats on setting a pretty awesome goal for yourself and have at it. But if not, there are plenty of other more satisfying and unique flavors out there to try.

Purchased Price: $3.68
Size: 28.2 oz. box/16-pack
Purchased at: Walmart (Exclusive Flavor)
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 pastry) 200 calories, 5 grams of total fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 14 grams of sugars, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Pop-Tarts Cereal

Pop Tarts Cereal

Breakfast may widely be considered the most important meal of the day, but I’ve always found it difficult to muster an appetite for much before noon. As a kid, this bothered my mother to no end, and she was always trying to find something, anything, that I would be willing to eat before sending me off on the school bus.

After offering me granola bars, yogurt, and every other remotely wholesome breakfast food known to mom-kind, she found I was always happy to eat a couple of warm Pop-Tarts, no matter how early it was.

Although Kellogg’s new Pop-Tart cereals may have arrived too late to expand my morning meal repertoire, they offer two bowl-bound alternatives to the popular foil-wrapped toaster pastries, and promise, according to the boxes, to pack delicious filling into every bite.

Strawberry

Pop Tarts Strawberry Cereal

With a strong strawberry aroma and thin glaze of icing encasing each piece, I had my hopes set pretty high on this flavor. Unfortunately, just like the kids who opened presents on Christmas Day to find packages of socks and underwear, my expectations were quickly dashed.

Although the cereal smells like the toaster tart it was modeled after, it tastes much blander. Most of what I noticed at first was the “crust” of each square, which seemed very similar to the pastry dough of a strawberry Pop-Tart. While I’ll give Kellogg’s props for consistency, it makes for a very bland and unexciting cereal.

Pop Tarts Strawberry Cereal Innards

The much-touted “delicious filling” also turned out to be a much ado about nothing. The cereal pieces have so little of it in them that they appear visibly hollow when you bite one in half. Worse yet, the little amount of filling is hardly delicious, and gives the cereal a strange sort of off-putting chewiness, especially after it’s been soaking in milk for a few minutes.

Purchased Price: $3.64
Size: 17 oz. box
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup) 150 calories, 1 gram of total fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of total carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 16 grams of total sugars, 16 grams of added sugars, and 2 grams of protein.

Brown Sugar Cinnamon

In comparison to the strawberry version’s strong first impression, I could tell there was something off about this flavor as soon as I opened the bag. Rather than reminding me of the toaster pastry of my youth, this cereal instead had an unusually strong artificial maple scent, and the squares themselves appeared plain and unappetizing.

Pop Tarts Brown Sugar Cinnamon Cereal

My dismay regarding this cereal’s look and smell was entirely justified, too, since it tastes nothing like the Pop-Tart it was named for. Like with the strawberry version, all of the cereal squares were in desperate need of both more filling and more flavor, and the dusting of frosting on each piece was quickly lost in my bowl of milk.

Purchased Price: $3.64
Size: 17 oz. box
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 3 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup) 150 calories, 1 gram of total fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of total carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 15 grams of total sugars, 15 grams of added sugars, and 2 grams of protein..

Other Things:

  • Three cups of Pop-Tarts cereal have roughly as many calories as a foil package of standard Pop-Tarts, so both of these are good examples of the common trade-off between quantity and quality.
  • Both boxes make a big deal about how having sprinkles supposedly makes eating a bowl of cereal more fun, but the sprinkles here so small you almost need a magnifying glass to see them.

QUICK REVIEW: Limited Edition Unicorn Power Frosted Cherry Pop-Tarts

Limited Edition Unicorn Power Frosted Cherry Pop Tarts

What is it?

Another iteration of the Instagram-fueled trend of almost-too-pretty-to-eat unicorn-themed foods.

Despite its mythical theme, Kellogg’s went with a pretty tame flavor choice for this, utilizing cherry filling and royal icing emblazoned with the image of a majestically poised unicorn head.

How is it?

They’re alright.

Were you expecting me to say something more?

At the end of the day, they’re Cherry Pop-Tarts. If you like cherry toaster pastries, then there’s no reason why you wouldn’t like these. The outer shell of each tart has the same crisp sturdiness that I’ve come to expect from such treats, and I felt its slight saltiness helped keep the cherry filling from tasting too sweet.

Limited Edition Unicorn Power Frosted Cherry Pop Tarts 3

Even so, the cherry flavor isn’t prominent. It’s red, and I can tell that it’s a fruit filling, but if you told me this was a strawberry or raspberry Pop-Tart, I would believe you.

Limited Edition Unicorn Power Frosted Cherry Pop Tarts 2

On top of Kellogg’s total lack of flavor creativity, I also feel the need to call out its decorating skills. Since the icing is the only aspect that’s genuinely unicorn-themed other than the box itself, I expected some pretty elaborate art. Instead, both designs are a bare-bones edible ink stamp that barely covers half of the surface area of each tart. On top of that, they’re both blurry, and they look worse than the multicolored sprinkles that frosted Pop-Tarts are usually sprinkled with.

Totally not Instagramable!

Is there anything else I need to know?

Even though I prefer my fruit-filled Pop-Tarts to be served cold, I ended up liking these more once they were warmed in the toaster oven, partly because warm food on cold mornings is one of the greatest simple pleasures in life, but mostly because I could pretend the cherry filling was magical unicorn blood.

Conclusion:

Don’t let the pretty box fool you – Unicorn Power Pop-Tarts are far from anything special. Even though they’re as acceptable as any other cherry toaster pastry, they aren’t worth trekking to Sam’s Club to pick up, and they’re not nearly interesting enough to make me want to finish the 32-count club pack I bought.

Purchased Price: $5.98
Size: 1 lb. 13.3 oz. (32 pastries)
Purchased at: Sam’s Club
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 pastry) 200 calories, 45 calories from fat, 5 grams of total fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 38 grams of total carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 16 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Exclusive Flavor Frosted Chocolatey Salted Caramel Pop-Tarts

Exclusive Flavor Frosted Chocolatey Salted Caramel Pop Tarts

What is it?

Another one of those store-exclusive snacks that cajole you into buying a value pack by not offering a smaller box.

In other words, this Pop-Tarts flavor is a Walmart exclusive, only comes in a box of 16 pastries, and features a chocolate-y pastry filled with alternating ribbons of chocolate and salted caramel fillings and salted caramel icing.

How is it?

Even though Pop-Tarts are never going to be a five-star breakfast, I suppose these aren’t half bad when you consider that most people are going to be eating them while they’re not fully awake.

Exclusive Flavor Frosted Chocolatey Salted Caramel Pop Tarts 2

Fresh from the foil sleeve, each pastry was crisp, sturdy, and smelled faintly of cocoa. It did an adequate job of containing the pastry’s filling, which was surprisingly less runny than I was expecting it to be, and the acceptably sweet frosting gave a satisfying crunch to top off the experience.

Exclusive Flavor Frosted Chocolatey Salted Caramel Pop Tarts 3

Calling them “adequate” or “acceptable” is about as kind as I can be towards these, though. The dry pastry shell needed more cocoa to make it taste sufficiently “chocolatey,” and the salted caramel and chocolate fillings both ended up being so faint that they almost completely canceled each other out.

Even the frosting tasted like regular royal icing and left me wanting more salted caramel. If I had been eating one of these first thing in the morning, you could have told me it was a S’mores Pop-Tart and I would have believed you.

Is there anything else I need to know?

Like all Pop-Tarts, these are best eaten warm. Toasting them turns the filling into little rivers of chocolate and salted caramel lava, and that helped bring the fillings’ flavors forward a little more.

Conclusion:

While Chocolatey Salted Caramel Pop-Tarts are far from the worst toaster pastries to eat for a quick breakfast, you might want to split a box of these with a friend or two, because their lack of uniqueness and distinct flavor is guaranteed to leave you bored and disinterested before you finish the oversized box.

Purchased Price: $3.68
Size: 16-pack
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 pastry) 200 calories, 50 calories from fat, 6 grams of total fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, and 2 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Great Value Frosted Mystery Toaster Pastries

Great Value Frosted Mystery Toaster Pastries

What is it?

Walmart’s store brand Great Value brings some excitement to your morning by releasing a Frosted Mystery Flavored Toaster Pastry. It comes in a fun multicolored box complete with question marks and a magnifying glass. The pastries themselves have white frosting and crunchy white bits but most intriguing is its clear filling that doesn’t give off any clues to its real flavor.

How is it?

As mentioned above, the mystery aspect is well executed throughout both the product and packaging. So well done in that regard. These also had a nice doughy taste that was pleasantly surprising.

Great Value Frosted Mystery Toaster Pastries 2

However, if we go back to the mystery flavor aspect of it, it might’ve been taken a little too far as I can’t figure out for the life of me what it could be. I enjoyed eating them as the mixtures of textures between the crunchy bits, frosting, dough, and sticky filling were all very satisfying. The flavor, though? I HAVE NO FREAKING CLUE.

Great Value Frosted Mystery Toaster Pastries 3

I ate an entire box, dissected one to isolate the filling, and even asked friends for help, but all to no avail. They have a sweet, definitely fruity taste but not enough flavor to lead my taste buds to anything more specific. I couldn’t even narrow it down to some potentials.

Is there anything else I need to know?

The ingredients list does offer up a morsel of info in that white grape juice concentrate is one of the things listed. However, upon further thought, this is likely how they executed the clear filling because it also does say natural flavors too.

Since toaster pastries are meant to be, well, toasted, I thought this action would help me out and unearth its true flavor. Did it work? Absolutely not. I was still stumped eating the warmed-up concoction.

Conclusion:

This is a decent store brand Pop-Tart that’s kind of tasty and fun with its white/clear elements that beg you to investigate the mystery! However, anticipation and excitement soon leads to frustration as you realize the flavor isn’t nearly intense enough to guide you anywhere. What a bummer.

Purchased Price: $1.00
Size: 6-pack
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 pastries) 390 calories, 9 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 250 milligrams of sodium, 74 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 40 grams of sugar and 3 grams of protein.