REVIEW: Banner Butter x Pop-Tarts Limited Edition Kit

Buttertarts1 pkg

What is the Banner Butter x Pop-Tarts Limited Edition Kit?

Apparently, slathering butter on your freshly-toasted Pop-Tarts is a thing? I had no idea. As the person who believed for 20+ years that I had invented dipping Wendy’s fries into Frostys, I really should have known.

Buttertarts2 contents

Atlanta-based Banner Butter teamed up with Kellogg’s to make a combo kit of Pop-Tarts’ most iconic flavors and two small pats each of six Banner’s flavored butters. The packaging had suggested pairings, which is what I tried (with a couple of additional twists).

Buttertarts3 butter

How are they?

First up – Strawberry Pop-Tart with Sea Salt Butter. This was the basic proof-of-concept. And yeah, it was delicious. The butter gave the commercially-bland Pop-Tarts’ pastry the flavor of real, laminated pastry dough. (But did we need that?)

Buttertarts4 pats

Next, Strawberry Pop-Tart with Balsamic Fig and Caramelized Onion Butter. This was my favorite of all the butters – a nice sweet/savory combo. It gave the Pop-Tart a flavor complexity it usually lacks.

Buttertarts5 strawb

Then, Chocolate Fudge PTs with Cinnamon, Cardamom & Ginger butter and Honey Habanero butter. The Cinnamon/Cardamom/Ginger butter was great, but the chocolate overwhelmed it a bit. The Honey Habanero butter gave the chocolate a dark intensity and a little heat – similar to a chili-tinged Mexican hot chocolate.

Buttertarts6 fudge

Lastly, the Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tarts with Strawberry butter and Dark Chocolate butter. These were both meh. The strawberry got lost in the cinnamon, and the dark chocolate just tasted like added cocoa powder.

Buttertarts7 cinnamon

Brown Sugar Cinnamon PTs are one of my favorites, so I also tried them with the Balsamic Fig & Caramelized Onion butter and the Cinnamon, Cardamom & Ginger butter. They both worked way better than the suggested pairing. Balsamic Fig brought the same complexity as it did to the strawberry PTs. The Cinnamon, Cardamom & Ginger butter added an “adult” feeling. Both great butters.

Overall, I really liked some of the flavors here, but wasn’t sure about the “upgrading” of PTs. I love Pop-Tarts in all their naked, untoasted glory. If I wanted something that tasted like a fine French pastry, I’d just go buy the real thing. Give me my pasty pastry in a foil bag. That being said, Kellogg’s, why aren’t you just doing this yourselves? Cinnamon Cardamom & Ginger Pop-Tarts? Spicy Chocolate Pop-Tarts for winter? C’mon.

Buttertarts8 combos

Anything else you need to know?

This kit sold out a while ago, but you can get the same experience ordering Banner Butter and purchasing Pop-Tarts at the store. Or buy other butters. Or make your own compound butter – just soften some butter, mix in the good stuff, and let it sit in the fridge.

Conclusion:

If you’re a Buttered-Pop-Tarts stan, this fancy-butter-combo is definitely for you. If you’re just hearing about it, give it a whirl with whatever you have on hand. If you like your Pop-Tarts lowbrow like I do, try it for fun, but don’t expect it to become your regular thing.

Purchased Price: $25.00
Size: (3) 13.5oz / 8-pastry boxes of Pop-Tarts, (12) 2 tbsp. pats of butter
Purchased at: bannerbutter.com
Rating: 7 out of 10 (although the Balsamic Fig and Cinnamon Butters alone are 9 out of 10!)
Nutrition Facts: (For butters – 2 tbsp or ½ of a pat) Sea Salt – 100 calories, 11 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 0 grams of sugar, including 0 grams of added sugars, and 0 grams of protein. Balsamic Fig & Caramelized Onion – 110 calories, 11 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 2 grams of sugar, including less than 1 gram of added sugars, and 1 gram of protein. Cinnamon, Cardamom & Ginger – 110 calories, 11 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 15 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 2 grams of sugar, including less than 1 gram of added sugars, and 1 gram of protein. Honey Habanero – 110 calories, 11 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 50 milligrams of sodium, less than 1 gram of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, including 0 grams of added sugars, and 1 gram of protein. Strawberry – 110 calories, 11 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 15 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 2 grams of sugar, including 0 grams of added sugars, and 1 gram of protein. Dark Chocolate – 110 calories, 12 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 15 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 2 grams of sugar, including less than 1 gram of added sugars, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Frosted Boston Creme Donut and Frosted Apple Fritter Pop-Tarts

Frosted Boston Creme Donut and Frosted Apple Fritter Pop Tarts

On a website full of reviewers devoted to seeking out the greatest junk food, claiming any sort of donut expertise would involve Icarus-level hubris, and I’m not trying to drown in a sea of comments. However, as a native Bay Stater turned Southern California resident, I’ve spent my life in two places that are well known for the treat and feel comfortable claiming a deep love for doughnuts, which I spelled in full to pay proper respect. And of all the varieties that can make up a delicious dozen, someone from Massachusetts especially appreciates the donut shop staples that inspired the two newest Pop-Tarts: the Boston cream donut and the apple fritter. I was excited to see how they fared in toaster pastry form.

Frosted Boston Creme Donut Pop Tarts Icing

Let’s start with the Frosted Boston Creme Donut. I was skeptical because the bakery item this ‘Tart is based on is no slouch. We’re talking about the official state donut of the home of Dunkin’ Donuts here. But they certainly smelled like a Boston cream donut in the foil and looked exactly as a Pop-Tart version would and should. After taking a bite, I had to admit it was pretty close. The chocolate on top was too mild to evoke the thick frosting that would be on a donut but tasted nice. The custard filling was rich with hints of butterscotch, though achingly, unflinchingly sweet. I wouldn’t want to eat this for breakfast. But I never eat Boston cream donuts before noon, either.

Frosted Boston Creme Donut Pop Tarts Split

I’m not sure if heating up Boston cream donuts is a thing, but of the four ways one can enjoy a Pop-Tart according to the box (as-is, frozen, microwaved, and toasted), I thought toasted was the clear winner. It really intensified the chocolate flavor and made for a more balanced bite.

Frosted Apple Fritter Pop Tarts Icing

The Frosted Apple Fritter Pop-Tart felt like very comfortable territory for the brand. Fruit and frosting is a no-brainer for them at this point, and one could argue this was a little phoned-in. It smelled like any basic apple baked good but was not easily recognizable as an apple fritter. I had a similar feeling about the flavor. Knowing what it was supposed to taste like, I could convince myself that the frosting was like the hearty coating of glaze on a good fritter. The dried apples that found themselves in the “Contains 2% or less of” section of the ingredients packed a wonderful sharp appley punch (next level food science) that seemed to be coated in the same cinnamon as the chunks that dot the real thing. If I’m being honest with myself? This was just a very good apple Pop-Tart.

Frosted Apple Fritter Pop Tarts Split

If you need this one to taste like a fritter, I did find freezing it brought it closer to its namesake’s flavor profile. If you want to have a great time and don’t care about the name on the box, toast it. Hot apple cinnamon filling never hurt anybody. Okay, never hurt anybody patient enough to let it cool down enough first.

When I reflected on them as a pair, I realized the flavors were technically successful but shared the same fatal flaw: they aren’t exclusively donut flavors to begin with. The apples in a fritter are reminiscent of pie filling, and the Boston cream donut is unapologetically supposed to taste like a type of cake. Those flavors paired with a crumbly pastry crust? Well, to loosely quote a line said to a fellow donut lover on The Simpsons, ’tis a fine pie/cake Pop-Tart, but sure ‘tis no donut Pop-Tart.

So, they miss out on the same respect I pay doughnuts. But I do respect Pop-Tarts for always trying to give us offerings that are both comfortingly familiar and intriguingly unexpected.

Purchased Price: $3.29 (Both)
Size: 8-pack box (Both)
Purchased at: Shaw’s (Both)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Frosted Boston Creme Donut), 7 out of 10 (Frosted Apple Fritter)
Nutrition Facts: (2 pastries) Frosted Boston Creme Donut – 370 calories, 9 grams of fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 mg of cholesterol, 250 milligrams of sodium, 70 grams of total carbohydrates, 31 grams of total sugars, 1 gram of fiber, and 4 grams of protein. Frosted Apple Fritter – 370 calories, 9 grams of fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 mg of cholesterol, 260 milligrams of sodium, 69 grams of total carbohydrates, 29 grams of total sugars, 1 gram of fiber, and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Eggo Frosted Maple Flavor Pop-Tarts

Eggo Frosted Maple Pop Tarts Box

Oreo seems to get all the hype, but I’m not sure any snack brand has had more flavor variations over the years than Pop-Tarts.

Sure, I could probably look that up and get you exact figures, but I’m too lazy. After all, I DID eat a Pop-Tart for breakfast today.

To be fair, Pop-Tarts may be a “lazy” breakfast, but they are the KINGS of lazy on-the-go breakfasts, and that’s exactly why I’ve always appreciated them.

Don’t feel like putting forth even the slightest bit of cooking effort? Grab an ol’ reliable Pop-Tart. You’ll still feel like you actually ate breakfast, especially now that they’ve teamed up with another breakfast staple, Eggo.

A handheld pastry that tastes like Eggo waffles? Sounds like a hall of fame “lazy” breakfast to me.

Eggo Frosted Maple Pop Tarts Frosting

Well, it sounded like one at least…

I wouldn’t necessarily say these BURST with flavor. They do a decent job toeing the line between the two familiar experiences each brand brings to the table, but I’m a little baffled.

I wanted to be waffled.

Eggo Frosted Maple Pop Tarts Split

You get some maple syrup, but it’s cut with that very distinct Pop-Tart crust taste and texture. Imagine pouring Pop-Tart crust batter into a waffle iron. It tastes wayyyyy more like Pop-Tart than waffle, to the point “Eggo” just feels there in name only. “Eggo” must only be repping the maple flavor because these only kinda taste like Hint o’ Waffles.

There’s a dab of “butteriness” in there too, which I liked. I thought maybe the yellow icing was butter flavored, but upon isolating it, it just had a generic sugary flavor. I guess that butter also came from the crust, and maybe that’s ultimately where the “waffle” plays in.

Pop-Tart pastry is just the dominant flavor, even more so than the maple filling and icing, which makes these kinda bland overall. They smell like maple, though, which is always a welcome aroma.

Eggo Frosted Maple Pop Tarts Toasted

I’m not a huge toasted Pop-Tart guy, I usually just go pouch to mouth, but this seemed as good a flavor as any to eat warm. The toaster didn’t really improve the experience, but hey, at least I managed to burn my palm on the scolding hot icing!

So yeah, whether you lazily eat your Pop-Tarts right out of the pouch or toast them, these just come away tasting like mildly sweet Maple Pop-Tarts. They’re not terrible. They’re mid-tier, and I like them better than the Maple Bacon flavor from a few years ago. That being said, they’re still disappointing since they almost accomplished what they set out to do.

I bought 16 of these things, so they’ll stick around for a bit, but I don’t necessarily mind knowing I’ll have ’em there for some future lazy mornings. I may even get adventurous and use them as bread in an egg and sausage sandwich at some point… if I have the energy. Meh, maybe I won’t. Who knows? I’m going to take a nap.

Purchased Price: $4.14
Size: 16-pack box
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 pastries) 380 calories, 12 grams of fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 mg of cholesterol, 330 milligrams of sodium, 67 grams of total carbohydrates, 30 grams of total sugars, 0 grams of fiber, and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Frosted Mocha Latte Pop-Tarts

Frosted Mocha Latte Pop Tarts Box

What are Frosted Mocha Latte Pop-Tarts?

Pop-Tarts brewed up a chocolate- and espresso-inspired pastry that won’t require you to wake up early to beat the rush at your favorite cafe.

Exclusive to Walmart, Frosted Mocha Latte Pop-Tarts are sold in a value pack of 16 pastries. I think this falls somewhere between grande and venti on the Pop-Tart/Coffee Equivalency Scale.

How are they?

Frosted Mocha Latte Pop Tarts Whole

Upon rustling open that iconic silver wrapper, I was impressed that Frosted Mocha Latte Pop-Tarts took the “frosted” descriptor seriously. A generous layer of white icing, topped with a light brown squiggle, covers each pastry. The icing doesn’t impart much flavor, but it acts like a crisp shell of sweetness that enhances each bite.

Frosted Mocha Latte Pop Tarts Filling

Although its strong coffee aroma beckons, the pastry crust is typical Pop-Tarts fare: dry, crumbly, and subtly chocolate-flavored. If you’ll indulge the topical metaphor, the pastry is like an old coffee mug: functional and not too exciting by itself, but a wonderful support for flavor-packed filling. Rich and thick, the Pop-Tart filling perfectly balances chocolate flavor with a strong, realistic coffee taste. It’s not too sweet and manages to maintain some bitter notes, which are really interesting and surprisingly nuanced.

Frosted Mocha Latte Pop Tarts Split

Because the toaster at my office has been emitting sparks (and if I’m going to set the place on fire, it’s going to be in a completely different context), I warmed a Pop-Tart in the microwave for about 10 seconds. I highly recommend this method. The warmth softens the crust and the filling, waking up the already-impressive coffee flavor. It provides all of the comfort of a hot drink with none of the caffeine jitters.

Anything else you need to know?

A few years ago, Pop-Tarts released a limited edition Chocolate Mocha flavor as a tie-in with Dunkin’ Donuts. The Frosted Mocha Latte flavor looks almost identical to that product. If you’ve tried both, share your comparisons in the comments below.

Conclusion:

Frosted Mocha Latte Pop-Tarts deliver strong flavor with the right balance of sweet and bitter notes. Whether you’re a kid with grown-up tastes or an adult who isn’t afraid to indulge in a favorite childhood brand, this flavor warrants a refill.

Purchased Price: $3.94
Size: 27 oz (768 g) box (16 pack)
Purchased at: Walmart (Exclusive Flavor)
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (per 2 pastries) 360 calories, 9 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 400 milligrams of sodium, 69 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 36 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Peach Cobbler Pop-Tarts

Kellogg s Peach Cobbler Pop Tarts Box

What are Kellogg’s Peach Cobbler Pop-Tarts?

Kellogg’s has released several dessert-themed Pop-Tart flavors this summer: Banana Crème Pie, Lemon Crème Pie, and these Peach Cobbler ones. Can these convenient pastries capture the essence of their homemade counterparts, or do I still need to find a baker to trade their creations for my bad junk food takes?

How are they?

Kellogg s Peach Cobbler Pop Tarts Toasted

These appear as a typical frosted Pop-Tart, with light orange frosting and small tan dots representing cobbler topping. They’re the only hint that these are cobbler-flavored because, in reality, these are simply peach Pop-Tarts. Though, that doesn’t sound as interesting, does it?

Kellogg s Peach Cobbler Pop Tarts Filling

Unfortunately, the peach flavor is very artificial tasting. I’m reminded of Peach Crush soda and Peach Jolly Ranchers. I don’t really expect a Pop-Tart to taste like real fruit, but artificial peach can be one of those flavors that tastes nothing like the real thing, and it doesn’t work for something that’s supposed to taste like a real fruit cobbler.

Anything else you need to know?

The back packaging illustrates four ways to enjoy its contents, so I decided to give them each a try.

Straight from the Foil – Like melted peach ring candy poured into semi-baked pie crust.

Toasted – I wonder what percentage of Pop-Tarts are consumed toasted vs untoasted. Very few, I imagine. That’s a shame because I’ve always found them much improved by the process. A bit of browning adds the depth of flavor missing in the uncooked counterpart, which is particularly welcome here. It’s as close as we’re going to get to a golden brown and delicious cobbler topping.

Frozen – Freezing these adds an interesting textural experience. They don’t freeze solid, but get chewy. The peach filling turns gummy-like, and the cold numbs the artificial flavor.

Kellogg s Peach Cobbler Pop Tarts Sandwich

Stacked Stuffed – The packaging suggests “stacking” Pop-Tarts, which I take to mean to eat two at the same time. But that’s dumb. The obvious use case for two toaster pastries is to “stuff” them with something and make a Pop-Tart sandwich. Vanilla ice cream seemed the obvious choice for a cobbler-themed pastry, and I wasn’t disappointed. The creaminess rounds out the peach flavor. Plus, I mean…ice cream.

Conclusion:

Peach Cobbler Pop-tarts are too artificial tasting to be enjoyed straight out of the foil. But simply taking the time to toast them, or freeze them, or uhh… plop a hunk of ice cream on them yields a satisfying treat.

Purchased Price: $2.29
Size: 13.5 oz box/8 pastries
Purchased at: Woodman’s Markets
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts (2 pastries) 380 calories, 10 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 340 milligrams of sodium, 69 grams of carbohydrates, 1 grams of fiber, 28 grams of sugar including 27 grams added sugar, and 4 gram of protein.