QUICK REVIEW: Limited Edition Unicorn Power Frosted Cherry Pop-Tarts

Limited Edition Unicorn Power Frosted Cherry Pop Tarts

What is it?

Another iteration of the Instagram-fueled trend of almost-too-pretty-to-eat unicorn-themed foods.

Despite its mythical theme, Kellogg’s went with a pretty tame flavor choice for this, utilizing cherry filling and royal icing emblazoned with the image of a majestically poised unicorn head.

How is it?

They’re alright.

Were you expecting me to say something more?

At the end of the day, they’re Cherry Pop-Tarts. If you like cherry toaster pastries, then there’s no reason why you wouldn’t like these. The outer shell of each tart has the same crisp sturdiness that I’ve come to expect from such treats, and I felt its slight saltiness helped keep the cherry filling from tasting too sweet.

Limited Edition Unicorn Power Frosted Cherry Pop Tarts 3

Even so, the cherry flavor isn’t prominent. It’s red, and I can tell that it’s a fruit filling, but if you told me this was a strawberry or raspberry Pop-Tart, I would believe you.

Limited Edition Unicorn Power Frosted Cherry Pop Tarts 2

On top of Kellogg’s total lack of flavor creativity, I also feel the need to call out its decorating skills. Since the icing is the only aspect that’s genuinely unicorn-themed other than the box itself, I expected some pretty elaborate art. Instead, both designs are a bare-bones edible ink stamp that barely covers half of the surface area of each tart. On top of that, they’re both blurry, and they look worse than the multicolored sprinkles that frosted Pop-Tarts are usually sprinkled with.

Totally not Instagramable!

Is there anything else I need to know?

Even though I prefer my fruit-filled Pop-Tarts to be served cold, I ended up liking these more once they were warmed in the toaster oven, partly because warm food on cold mornings is one of the greatest simple pleasures in life, but mostly because I could pretend the cherry filling was magical unicorn blood.

Conclusion:

Don’t let the pretty box fool you – Unicorn Power Pop-Tarts are far from anything special. Even though they’re as acceptable as any other cherry toaster pastry, they aren’t worth trekking to Sam’s Club to pick up, and they’re not nearly interesting enough to make me want to finish the 32-count club pack I bought.

Purchased Price: $5.98
Size: 1 lb. 13.3 oz. (32 pastries)
Purchased at: Sam’s Club
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 pastry) 200 calories, 45 calories from fat, 5 grams of total fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 38 grams of total carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 16 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Exclusive Flavor Frosted Chocolatey Salted Caramel Pop-Tarts

Exclusive Flavor Frosted Chocolatey Salted Caramel Pop Tarts

What is it?

Another one of those store-exclusive snacks that cajole you into buying a value pack by not offering a smaller box.

In other words, this Pop-Tarts flavor is a Walmart exclusive, only comes in a box of 16 pastries, and features a chocolate-y pastry filled with alternating ribbons of chocolate and salted caramel fillings and salted caramel icing.

How is it?

Even though Pop-Tarts are never going to be a five-star breakfast, I suppose these aren’t half bad when you consider that most people are going to be eating them while they’re not fully awake.

Exclusive Flavor Frosted Chocolatey Salted Caramel Pop Tarts 2

Fresh from the foil sleeve, each pastry was crisp, sturdy, and smelled faintly of cocoa. It did an adequate job of containing the pastry’s filling, which was surprisingly less runny than I was expecting it to be, and the acceptably sweet frosting gave a satisfying crunch to top off the experience.

Exclusive Flavor Frosted Chocolatey Salted Caramel Pop Tarts 3

Calling them “adequate” or “acceptable” is about as kind as I can be towards these, though. The dry pastry shell needed more cocoa to make it taste sufficiently “chocolatey,” and the salted caramel and chocolate fillings both ended up being so faint that they almost completely canceled each other out.

Even the frosting tasted like regular royal icing and left me wanting more salted caramel. If I had been eating one of these first thing in the morning, you could have told me it was a S’mores Pop-Tart and I would have believed you.

Is there anything else I need to know?

Like all Pop-Tarts, these are best eaten warm. Toasting them turns the filling into little rivers of chocolate and salted caramel lava, and that helped bring the fillings’ flavors forward a little more.

Conclusion:

While Chocolatey Salted Caramel Pop-Tarts are far from the worst toaster pastries to eat for a quick breakfast, you might want to split a box of these with a friend or two, because their lack of uniqueness and distinct flavor is guaranteed to leave you bored and disinterested before you finish the oversized box.

Purchased Price: $3.68
Size: 16-pack
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 pastry) 200 calories, 50 calories from fat, 6 grams of total fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, and 2 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Great Value Frosted Mystery Toaster Pastries

Great Value Frosted Mystery Toaster Pastries

What is it?

Walmart’s store brand Great Value brings some excitement to your morning by releasing a Frosted Mystery Flavored Toaster Pastry. It comes in a fun multicolored box complete with question marks and a magnifying glass. The pastries themselves have white frosting and crunchy white bits but most intriguing is its clear filling that doesn’t give off any clues to its real flavor.

How is it?

As mentioned above, the mystery aspect is well executed throughout both the product and packaging. So well done in that regard. These also had a nice doughy taste that was pleasantly surprising.

Great Value Frosted Mystery Toaster Pastries 2

However, if we go back to the mystery flavor aspect of it, it might’ve been taken a little too far as I can’t figure out for the life of me what it could be. I enjoyed eating them as the mixtures of textures between the crunchy bits, frosting, dough, and sticky filling were all very satisfying. The flavor, though? I HAVE NO FREAKING CLUE.

Great Value Frosted Mystery Toaster Pastries 3

I ate an entire box, dissected one to isolate the filling, and even asked friends for help, but all to no avail. They have a sweet, definitely fruity taste but not enough flavor to lead my taste buds to anything more specific. I couldn’t even narrow it down to some potentials.

Is there anything else I need to know?

The ingredients list does offer up a morsel of info in that white grape juice concentrate is one of the things listed. However, upon further thought, this is likely how they executed the clear filling because it also does say natural flavors too.

Since toaster pastries are meant to be, well, toasted, I thought this action would help me out and unearth its true flavor. Did it work? Absolutely not. I was still stumped eating the warmed-up concoction.

Conclusion:

This is a decent store brand Pop-Tart that’s kind of tasty and fun with its white/clear elements that beg you to investigate the mystery! However, anticipation and excitement soon leads to frustration as you realize the flavor isn’t nearly intense enough to guide you anywhere. What a bummer.

Purchased Price: $1.00
Size: 6-pack
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 pastries) 390 calories, 9 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 250 milligrams of sodium, 74 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 40 grams of sugar and 3 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Limited Edition Pop-Tarts Splitz (2018)

Kellogg s Limited Edition Pop Tarts Splitz  2018

Pop-Tarts Splitz first showed up back in 2007 and soon after crawled back into the Pop-Tarts vault where Dulce de Leche and Guava Mango Pop-Tarts reside.

Yes, I know exactly what you’re thinking now. Not that there were Dulce de Leche and Guava Mango Pop-Tarts, but that brands have been turning S’s into Z’s for over a decade now and they should stop.

With the original Splitz, the flavors used were so basic and one-worded — Chocolate + Vanilla, Strawberry + Blueberry, and Chocolate + Strawberry.

The 2018 version has flavors that, mostly, aren’t so basic and use more than one word — Strawberry + Cheesecake and Sugar Cookie + Brownie Batter. Like the original, they look like kindergarten finger-painting drawings of clouds or hills, depending on which side is facing you.

Frosted Strawberry and Drizzled Cheesecake

Kellogg s Limited Edition Pop Tarts Splitz Strawberry Cheesecake

Strawberry tastes like, well, I mean, if you haven’t had a Frosted Strawberry Pop-Tart that’s on you. You should’ve had it at least once by now. They’re good and it’s what I eat when I want to joke around with the Food Pyramid by saying, “Look, I’m going to have a serving of fruit.” As for the other side, there’s no tang. So it’s hard to consider it cheesecake. At times, I think it’s marshmallow, but it’s definitely not cheesecake.

Kellogg s Limited Edition Pop Tarts Splitz Strawberry Cheesecake 2

The flavor combo is begs to be eaten together. So maybe through food science or food magic, combining them will create a strawberry cheesecake-like flavor. They don’t. There’s a tanginess from the fruity filling, but it doesn’t help flip my mind into thinking it’s cheesecake. It tastes like a Strawberry Pop-Tart. Even toasting it doesn’t help bring out the cheesecake flavor.

Drizzled Sugar Cookie and Frosted Brownie Batter

Kellogg s Limited Edition Pop Tarts Splitz Sugar Cookie Brownie Batter

The other Pop-Tarts Splitz variety has a lighter crust than the Strawberry + Cheesecake one. I guess it’s supposed to represent the color of sugar cookies, while the darker one looks like the crust you’d find under a cheesecake.

Unlike the other variety, this combo seems more like one that shouldn’t be eat combined. Although, that’s not going to stop me from doing so because sugar cookie brownies sound magical.

Kellogg s Limited Edition Pop Tarts Splitz Sugar Cookie Brownie Batter 2

The dark filling tastes like brownie batter, but kind of loses that when combined with the crust and the icing. Its flavor wavers between brownie batter and standard chocolate. Despite that, it’s my favorite of the four sides. As for sugar cookie, it’s a variety we’ve seen before from Pop-Tarts and one that I’ve had it. It does remind me of a sugar cookie, but it’s not as exciting as brownie batter.

Sadly, combining the two doesn’t create an awesome new hybrid flavor. The stronger brownie batter overwhelms the milder sugar cookie, much like the strawberry hides the cheesecake in the other. So I guess it’s best to eat the two sides separate.

Both varieties are tasty but also aren’t mind-blowing. However, the cookie-brownie combo stands out because of its flavors and the cheesecake flavor is lacking with the other one, making it a bit of a letdown. So if you’re split about which variety to try, go for the Sugar Cookie + Brownie Batter.

DISCLOSURE: I received free samples, but doing so did not influence my review.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 pastry – Strawberry + Cheesecake – 190 calories, 40 calories from fat, 4.5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 1.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 17 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein. Sugar Cookie + Brownie Batter – 200 calories, 50 calories from fat, 5 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 2 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 14 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 8-pack (Strawberry + Cheesecake)
Size: 16-pack (Sugar Cookie + Brownie Batter)
Purchased at: N/A
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Strawberry + Cheesecake)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Sugar Cookie + Brownie Batter)
Pros: Brownie batter filling taste like what it’s supposed to. Better flavor combos than the previous Pop-Tarts Splitz. Sugar cookie tastes like a sugar cookie.
Cons: Cheesecake flavor not noticeable. Combining the strawberry and cheesecake sides makes it taste like a regular Strawberry Pop-Tart. Combining the sugar cookie and brownie batter sides make it taste like brownie batter. Still using Z’s to replace S’s.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Limited Edition Printed Fun Frosted Sugar Cookie Pop-Tarts

Kellogg's Limited Edition Printed Fun Frosted Sugar Cookie Pop-Tarts

The element of surprise can be a valuable tool.  As the Japanese poet Bash famously observed, “When you surprise your enemy, you fuck his shit up.”  [Translated]  That’s true both on the battlefield and in the kitchen. I’ve eaten and reviewed plenty of foods that have surprised me, some pleasantly, some less so.  One of the draws of foreign food, as related to me by people who try it, is the chance to encounter new tastes you’ve never experienced before and weren’t expecting.

But as God is my witness, Pop-Tarts are not such a food.  No one buys Pop-Tarts for the mystery factor.  You purchase them because you know exactly what you’re getting: a flaky pastry, probably frosting on top, and filled with whatever flavor you selected, be it S’Mores or Raspberry Milkshake or Soylent Green.  If I got a Pop-Tart that didn’t taste like what it was named, I would only eat the entire box in three days under extreme protest, I promise you that.  So when I learned Kellogg’s was releasing another limited edition holiday variety of Pop-Tarts, this one flavored like sugar cookies, my only thought was: they’d damn well better taste like sugar cookies.  Well, as it turns out:

…..yeah, basically they taste like sugar cookies.  Phew.

While no living human has eaten as many Pop-Tarts varieties as The Impulsive Buy’s editor-in-chief, I have been around the block a few times myself, and these are among the better-tasting Pop-Tarts I’ve tried.  They don’t taste exactly like real sugar cookies, which obviously don’t have vaguely marshmallow-y filling inside them like these do, and the texture is a bit different from crumbly sugar cookies.  You wouldn’t mistake them for cookies in a blind taste test is what I’m saying, but you’d still probably ask for another bite.  The sweetness lingers in your mouth afterward and might be too much for those without a sweet tooth, though I doubt the sugar-averse are picking up a package of these anyway.  And as simple as sugar cookies are, I’m glad Kellogg’s didn’t try making them Sugar Cookie Ice Cream Cone (With Rainbow Sprinkles and Hot Fudge) Pop-Tarts, which would’ve ruined it.  For once they wisely showed some restraint.

Kellogg's Limited Edition Printed Fun Frosted Sugar Cookie Pop-Tarts Foil WrapperNot a lot, mind you.  I’m guessing someone’s train of thought was that if the pastry itself was going to be straightforward, they’d better jazz it up in other respects.  Said jazzing occurs two ways, the first of which is the wrappers.  As you probably know, they come in packs of two inside shiny foil wrappers. 

What I’ve never seen before is little word balloons with slogans extolling the virtues of the product contained therein, and yet there they were.  I’m guessing they’re randomly generated, since one of my wrappers sported the phrase “We look good in silver,” and immediately below it, “Silver is your color.”  Some are almost slightly funny, most just annoying.  I kept looking for one promising good things were right around the corner, but no dice.

But trite-ass slogans don’t sell Pop-Tarts, as my grandmother used to say — the main draw, other than the taste, is the “printed fun” promised in the name.  See, each pastry hosts a scene of a smiling creature frolicking in winter, be it kittens skiing or a penguin flipping you the bird (I assume… it’s hard to tell without fingers), or most bizarrely, a snowman bobsled team sporting two of Jamaica’s three national colors, suggesting someone at Kellogg’s has a sly sense of humor and a fondness for Cool Runnings.

Kellogg's Limited Edition Printed Fun Frosted Sugar Cookie Pop-Tarts PrintThe polar bear is skating rather than enjoying a cool, refreshing Coca-Cola, missing out on a golden opportunity for cross-promotion if you ask me, but then food blogging’s gain was the marketing world’s loss, obviously.  Anyway, they’re… well, they’re cute.  It’s not like kids needed an extra incentive to eat warm rectangles of sugar and fat, but they fit the holiday theme and allow you the chance to bite a seal’s head off without going to jail, so there’s that.

I unapologetically kind of dig these.  I should probably be annoyed by the excessive cuteness of the printed images, far more saccharine than anything contained within the pastry itself.  But… well, it’s the holiday season.  If there’s ever a time to refrain from mocking overly sentimental things, minus the last five paragraphs, this is probably it.  They taste good and pretty similar to actual sugar cookies, the printed images will appeal to their intended audience of children and me, and they can be used as a last-minute gift in a pinch, if it turns out your girlfriend doesn€™t find the “Dick in a Box” skit as hilarious as you do.  Overall, as shameless holiday tie-ins go, they’re definitely among the better ones.

(Nutritional Info – 1 pastry – 200 calories, 50 calories from fat, 5 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 14 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein)

Item: Kellogg’s Limited Edition Printed Fun Frosted Sugar Cookie Pop-Tarts
Price: $3.39
Size: 21.2 oz/12 toaster pastries
Purchased at: Acme
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: (Mostly) taste like sugar cookies.  Delicious filling.  Abundant frosting.  Affordable price.  Cute animal images.  Keeping it simple.  Some of the foil word balloons.
Cons: The element of surprise in Pop-Tarts.  Atsa lotta sugar!  Missed marketing opportunities.  Overly cutesy.  Most of the foil word balloons.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Frosted Confetti Cake Pop-Tarts

Limited Edition Frosted Confetti Cake Pop-Tarts

I don’t bake, hang out at bakeries, or lollygag in the aisle at my local supermarket that consists of sugar, spice, and everything needed to make baked goods, so I didn’t know about the confetti cake.

If I lingered in the baking aisle like I linger in the magazine section at Waldenbooks Borders Barnes & Noble, I would’ve eventually noticed Duncan Hines makes a Confetti Cake Mix. But instead I had to learn about the confetti cake’s existence via Kellogg’s Limited Edition Frosted Confetti Cake Pop-Tarts.

I also probably would’ve learned about confetti cake earlier if one of the baker’s dozen or so of cake reality shows out there made one. Seriously, I’ve watched Ace of Cakes, Amazing Wedding Cakes, Cake Boss, Ultimate Cake Off, Fabulous Cakes, Cupcake Wars, DC Cupcakes, The Cupcake Girls, Last Cake Standing, Staten Island Cakes, and Have Cake, Will Travel, and not once did any of them bake this colorful dessert.

With its white frosting with colorful sprinkles on top, Limited Edition Confetti Cake Pop-Tarts look they contracted clown herpes, which I believe one can get by either being sprayed with water from a water squirter that looks like a flower or while stuffed in a small car with many other clowns. While the exterior looks like clown herpes, the multicolored cake-flavored filling looks like the pus that would ooze out of clown herpes sores.

Limited Edition Frosted Confetti Cake Pop-Tarts Innards

Geez, I totally made these Pop-Tarts sound completely unappetizing, which, by the way, they are not.

The Limited Edition Confetti Cake Pop-Tarts are surprisingly tasty and they do taste like cake, albeit a slightly artificial cake. The crust does have a buttery flavor to it, but because that butteriness seems to linger in my mouth for a while it’s a little off-putting.

Okay, those last two sentences probably didn’t help make these Pop-Tarts sound appetizing, but, overall, I really like them and I think they’re yummy enough that I would put them somewhere at the bottom of my list of Top 10 Favorite Pop-Tarts Flavors of All-Time.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 pastry – 190 calories, 35 calories from fat, 3.5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams trans fat*, 1.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 0.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 230 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 15 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein, and a bunch of vitamins and minerals.)

*made with partially hydrogenated oil

Item: Limited Edition Frosted Confetti Cake Pop-Tarts
Price: $2.79
Size: 8 count
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tasty. Tastes like cake. Buttery crust. Tastes great toasted or not toasted.
Cons: Looks like they have clown herpes. Limited edition. Confetti sprinkles come off easily. The number of cake reality show. The number of brick and mortar booksellers.