Oh Mrs. Butterworth, you’re such a genius.
You’ve created the PERFECT way to drink syrup.
With your Mrs. Butterworth’s Little Drinkers, I can drink your original syrup whenever, wherever, and with whoever I want.
Say! I like Little Drinkers, you know. I like them, me the Marvo. I will drink them in the snow. I will drink them with the ghost of Marilyn Monroe. I will drink them on New Year’s Eve 2004. I will drink them with a French whore. I will drink them while I shave. I will drink them on Dr. Atkins’ grave. I do so like Little Drinkers, you know! Thank you! Thank you, me the Marvo!
So no more carrying around a syrup bottle and women asking me, â€œIs that a syrup bottle in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Um…It’s a syrup bottle. You aren’t THAT pretty.
Another problem I had with carrying around a whole bottle was that it’s hard to keep track of how much syrup I drank. Take one swig, then take another, and before you know it, I’ve consumed half the bottle and I’m bouncing off the walls like Andy Dick on cocaine.
With these Little Drinkers, I can have controlled two-ounce doses of syrup. It’s like taking a shot of syrup.
Also, with these Little Drinkers, it’s easier to get every last drop of syrup. All I have to do is just lick the cup. With a bottle it’s hard to lick anything, unless you enjoy getting your tongue stuck in the bottle.
Oh, crap! I just looked at the packaging again.
It’s Little Dunkers.
All this time I thought it was Little Drinkers.
Holy crap! I guess I really have been consuming waaay too much High Fructose Corn Syrup.
Item: Mrs. Butterworth’s Little Dunkers
Purchase Price: $2.50 (Six-Pack)
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Convenient. Easier to drink and to dunk. Easier than a bottle to carry.
Cons: You pay for portability. I need to cut back on the High Fructose Corn Syrup.