Post Marshmallow Mania Pebbles

marshmallowmania

While pouring myself a bowl of the new Post Marshmallow Mania Pebbles and after being frustrated with the super difficult What’s Different? puzzle on the back of the box, I remembered the times I spent in front of the television watching The Flintstones.

I also remember being told by my parents that I shouldn’t sit so close to the television or else I was going to screw up my vision.

After I came out of those flashbacks and cleaned my glasses, many questions about The Flintstones popped into my head that I would’ve never thought of as a little kid. For example:

(1) During the credits at the end of the show, when Fred dumped the sabertooth cat outside, the sabertooth cat jumped through the window, dumped Fred outside, and locked him out. Why didn’t Fred just jump through the window like the sabertooth cat, instead of pounding on the front door?

(2) Dino walked on all fours, but he also walked on his hind legs quite a bit. Why didn’t he just choose one way and stick with it? Why did he have to showoff?

(3) How could someone as hot as Wilma be married to a fat oaf like Fred?

(4) Was The Great Gazoo gay and was that the real reason why he was exiled to Earth?

As I pondered these questions, I began to chow down on the Marshmallow Mania Pebbles. After a few spoonfuls, the taste of the Marshmallow Mania Pebbles stopped my train of thought. The artificial vanilla-graham flavoring and the marshmallow-flavored sprinkles on the cereal didn’t have much taste. It made the cereal kind of bland and it disappointed me, like both of the live-action Flintstones movies, except for the scenes in the first movie with Halle Berry.

The only things that saved this cereal were the marshmallows, which have been known to make many things better, like hot chocolate, yams, campfires, the movie Ghostbusters, and William Hung’s singing, when you stuff the marshmallows in your ears.

Now the marshmallows in the cereal were supposed to be in the shapes of Fred, Barney, Dino, and Gazoo. After examining them, I have to say the only way anyone would think the marshmallows looked like any of those characters was if they were high.

Really high, like double-barrel-bong high.

Despite the large cast of character marshmallows, I really wished there were Wilma and Betty marshmallows, because I would love to eat those two.

Item: Post Marshmallow Mania Pebbles
Purchase Price: $2.50 (on sale)
Rating: 2 out of 5
Pros: Marshmallows. Low-fat. Marshmallows. Vitamins and minerals. Marshmallows.
Cons: Cereal part was kind of bland, even with its artificial vanilla-graham flavoring and marshmallow flavored sprinkles. No Wilma or Betty marshmallows. What’s Different? puzzle on the back of the box was super hard.

16 thoughts to “Post Marshmallow Mania Pebbles”

  1. Too bad it sucked. Marshmallow’s are always a plus though. What is the deal with making all these cerel’s low fat and low in sugar. I guess the good ole days are gone.

  2. Hot wife, ugly dude? That was revolutionary. See Still Standing, King of Queens, Rodney, Yes Dear, According to Jim, and every other sitcom on TV. Perplexing.

  3. Wow, 2 out of 5. You’re too kind! My friend that visited one weekend tried them and also thought they were disgusting. AND, the smell lurked in my apartment for roughly another hour. I’ll never buy that crap again!

  4. Just the idea of this cereal makes me a little nauseous. Is there a medal of bravery for trying it? ‘Cause, I’m totally into the award things…

  5. Lord Jezo – No way, Tiger Power was waaay worse. Although, if Marshmallow Mania didn’t have marshmallows, it would be just as bad as Tiger Power.

    Becky – You could always add your own fat, but I don’t know if Crisco tastes good with cereal.

    David – Those shows give me hope.

    Archebaldo – Like you said, everything deserves a one, but things with marshmallows deserves another one.

    Thumper – If there was a medal for trying bad foods, I’d be a bad food trying hero.

  6. sounds terrible. recently i regressed to childhood with a big bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. still had it with my Silk Soy Milk, but the joy of the childhood cereal was fun. Maybe you should go back to a childhood favorite. :)`

  7. I bought a box two weeks ago to give them a try. The smell when I opened the box was the first sign of trouble and almost scared me off. I wish it had too because it was among the worst cereals I have ever tasted. I bailed after a few spoonfulls and dumped out the rest of the bowl and now have to find some sucker to give the rest away to, that or feed it to the birds outside.

  8. Megan – Ewww. Soy milk and Cinnamon Toast Crunch? Bleh! Chocolate soy milk and Cinnamon Toast Crunch sounds good.

    mxv – I don’t know if you want to feed it to the birds. You know what they say, “The bigger the bird’s meal, the bigger the bird’s poop.

  9. Damon – Yeah, back then it was MORE CHOCOLATE, MORE MARSHMALLOWS, and MORE SUGAR. Now it’s less sugar and whole grain. Also, they hardly ever put frickin’ toys in the box.

  10. Damn these people trying to make our food healthy! Did you hear what they’re doing to Cookie Monster? They’re basically cutting off his furry blue balls and making him sing a song that says “cookies are a sometimes food” and he’s supposed to eat more fruits and vegetables. What is this world coming to????

  11. Marvo, if you are a William Hung fan, be sure to review his Christmas alblum this December…it’s called “Hung for the Holidays.”

  12. Toni – I don’t understand why they’re doing that. Cookie Monster hasn’t gotten fat from eating all those cookie. He hasn’t had a heart attack from eating all those cookies. Watch this, he’s going to eat an apple and then keel over.

    Chuck – I’m definitely not a fan. Actually, I think he gives Asians a bad name. Okay, not really. I’m just jealous that he got 15 minutes of fame for singing poorly on American Idol. THAT WAS MY DREAM! MINE!

  13. Answers (I was there):

    1) 42 (i.e., who knows?) (Joe tends to ignoe questions like this – it isn’t exactly reality based – but write him c/o Warner TV Animation, 15301 Ventura Blvd, Sherman Oaks, CA 91403 – he’s still going in many days, and I’m sure he’d be delighted to receive the mail. Seriously – Joe is a great fan of the fans.)

    2) No rules, except Joe’s: make it funny.

    3) Without a great wife, Fred would be only an oaf – Wilma makes him human, as well as funny. cf Ralph Kramden, Archie Buner, et alia.

    4) Probably “No,” but ask Joe. Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay.

    P.S. – Keep up the great site.

  14. Happy Visitor – Wow, that’s so cool of you. Thanks for the answers. I think I will write to Joe. Thanks again.

    P.S. – Thanks for the compliment. 🙂

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