Burger King Cheesy Bacon BK Wrapper

Woah, woah, woah, whoa. Hold on there Burger King Cheesy Bacon BK Wrapper. Don’t be calling yourself cheesy, my Weezie. Chester Cheetah got it right when he said, “It ain’t easy bein’ cheesy.” Just like nicknames, you can’t just call yourself “cheesy,” you have to earn it.

You just can’t put cheese on or in you and expect to be “cheesy.” If putting processed cheese slices over my nipples as pasties doesn’t make me cheesy, I don’t think the American cheese and smokey cheese sauce that goes along with your eggs, bacon, hash browns, and flour tortilla can or should make you “cheesy.”

Just like most good cheeses — like Brie, Gorgonzola, and Velveeta — it takes time to develop a good cheesiness. Be considerate of all of those who spent years to become “cheesy,” like Robin Williams, Richard Simmons, reality shows, the use of the phrase “fo’ shizzle,” and t-shirts that say “I’m with stupid.” They put a lot of hard work into being cheesy and for you to come out and announce to the world that you’re cheesy, puts down all that effort.

As you can see in the photo above the only thing cheesy about the Burger King Cheesy Bacon BK Wrapper is the amount of ingredients in it. The paltry three pieces of hash browns was sad and the amount of bacon in it was so pathetic that I wished for more meat and it was probably the only time I will ever hope for a sausagefest.

Overall, the Burger King Cheesy Bacon BK Wrapper was decent, if you’re able to get all the different ingredients within one bite. The smokey cheese sauce didn’t add anything to it and I thought a spicy sauce would’ve been better. The hash browns were a little soggy from the cheese sauce, but at least the person making my Burger King Cheesy Bacon BK Wrapper didn’t fuck up the eggs or the soft flour tortilla.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to age some cheese pasties on my nipples.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 wrapper – 390 calories, 24 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 1.5 grams of trans fat, 150 milligrams of cholesterol, 1080 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbs, 1 gram of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, 14 grams of protein, and 50 grams of phallic deformity.)

(Editor’s Note: Thanks to Ryan for finding the nutrition facts.)

Item: Burger King Cheesy Bacon BK Wrapper
Price: $4.99 (value meal)
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: An entire breakfast stuffed in a wrapper. Using cheese as pasties. Good, if you can get all the ingredients in one bite.
Cons: No nutrition facts on website. Amount of bacon and hash browns were pathetic. Not earning the right to be called cheesy. Using “fo’ shizzle.” Sausagefests.

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34 thoughts on “Burger King Cheesy Bacon BK Wrapper

  1. I love breakfast burritos, but that doesn’t look so appetizing.
    More meat! And maybe some salsa would help.

  2. Anonymous – “If you have to ask the price — you can’t afford it,” that’s the line I always use with my middle-aged female Japanese tourist clients.

    Shannon – Sadly, BK is the closest fast food restaurant near me, but I hardly ever go to it, only when there’s something new.

    Ali – I wish someone would slap me with some breakfast ingredients.

    liz – I’d hang with a leafy salad, but eventually their friendship will wilt away.

    Kylie – Replace the glass of milk with soy milk and use sunscreen.

    Bikerbabeee – Don’t you mean woman? Also, I ran out of cheese, but my nipples are nice and smooth.

    Rachey – Oh, if only I had the voice of Ira Glass or Terry Gross…and the listenership.

    Michael John Grist – Maybe I should take a bath in Velveeta and cover myself in cheese product.

    Ace – Oh, that would make an awesome YouTube video.

    Michiel – I’m sure there are worse out there…or somewhere The King is coming up with something worse.

  3. skibs – Where’s the bacon? Where’s the oink-oink?

    Alex Lifeson – Again, I do think their chicken fries look like deep fried tampons.

    Ryan – To each their own. But it is disappointing to only get a little bacon and three measly hash browns.

    Gabs – Don’t make me jealous that we don’t have a Sonic here on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. I want to try one of their bazillion beverage combos.

    Suzy Q – No, if I were a God, I would’ve made Burger King put more bacon and hash browns in this thing.

    Brie – Brie is the GREATEST CHEESE EVER!!! (and that was not at all influenced by your name)

    Tiggy – HA! I’ve said that three times this week…and I regret each time. :-(

    Ryan – Thanks for the info!

    demondoll – Salsa would definitely help, but then McDonald’s would probably have a hissy fit and then The King and Ronald McDonald would get up into each other’s grills. Fries will be flying everywhere.

  4. angry bob hates nutrition facts, lack of nutrition facts, nutrition facts again, Earth Day, penguins, and 4 in 5 voters polled.

    Also, the other voter. Dissenting bastard.

  5. I love polar bears.

    AND I’ve been tempted to pick this up when in the drive thru at Burger King at breakfasttime. After seeing your photo of it splayed open, I’m glad I passed it up. Yuck!

  6. Polar bears are good for the following reasons :

    1) Polar makes passable soda, though I’m not sure to what extent the bears are involved in the production.

    2) Also, the Polar mascot (read : giant inflatable bear stuck to a billboard) waves at you as you drive by on the Pike.

    3) Polar bears make excellent rugs.

    Penguins make lousy rugs. Walrus rugs smell bad.

  7. An excellent post! Having tried on of these BK creations recently and being somewhat disappointed, I wanted to make a healthier, tastier version of this and I succeeded. I wanted to compare the nutrition of my creation to BK’s.

    Thanks much for posting the nutritional information which I could not find anywhere else.

    Great site, I’ll be back on a regular basis now that I’ve found it.

  8. Gabs – Don’t make me jealous that we don’t have a Sonic here on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. I want to try one of their bazillion beverage combos.

    Hee. So sorry. I’m from CA originally and I’d never even heard of Sonic until I landed in Arkansas ~2 years ago.

    Now I’m totally Sonic’s bitch.

  9. Against your sage advice, I had this for breakfast this morning. If not for the knowledge that I wouldn’t get a break at work and wouldn’t have another shot at food for ~12 hours, I don’t think I would have had mroe than the first bite. That cheese sauce was atrocious.

  10. Nevis – I bet polar bears would like them.

    angry bob – Penguins make good polar bear food.

    Chris – Come on back anytime you want.

    Gabs – I want to be Sonic’s bitch and have them stick a straw in one of my orifices.

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