Limited Edition Oreo Strawberry Milkshake Creme

All right, Limited Edition Oreo Strawberry Milkshake Creme, let’s get you into these stirrups. Are you comfortable? Okay, we’re going to take this step by step. I’m now going to insert the speculum to separate your cookie.

Yes, “cookie” is an approved scientific term and we use it all the time at the OB/GYN conferences. Actually, I just gave a presentation at the American Academy of Obstetrics and Gynecology Conference titled, “Effects of Pregnancy on the Cookie — How Does It Crumble?”

Just to warn you, the speculum is going to be a little cold when I gently stick it in you. There we go. Are you doing okay? I’m going to open it up a bit. Is your va-jay-jay okay?

Yes, “va-jay-jay” is now an approved scientific term, thanks to Oprah and her powerful influence. If you look in any recent OB/GYN medical journal, like the Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology or VAG: The Virgin Island’s Articles of Gynecology, you’ll see it is used quite a bit.

So let’s take a look in there, Limited Edition Oreo Strawberry Milkshake Creme. You’ve got a nice healthy pink going on. It reminds me of bubblegum. Have you had any pain or discomfort in the pelvic, vaginal or rectal areas? No? Good. Have you had any issues with your period? No? Great. Have you had any unusual discharges? No? Good.

Okay, now I’m going to put on some gloves, lube up a little bit, and feel around in there. I’m going to press on your stomach and let me know if anything feels painful, besides me putting two latex covered fingers up your taco.

Yes, “taco” is another approved scientific term. Actually, the American Association of OB/GYNs prefer the use of the term “pink taco.” Now I’m just going to stick this swab in you to get a sample. This will probably cause some discomfort. Are you doing okay? I got a good sample. Now I’m going to taste the sample. Don’t worry, it’s a new European technique that I learned at one of our overseas conferences.

Your sample is crunchy. Hmm…let me lick the center. The center of the sample tastes kind of like strawberry ice cream, like it should, since you are the Oreo Strawberry Milkshake Creme. Your balanced combination of strawberry creme and chocolate cookie is pretty good. I think I’m going to need another sample from you to taste, which I apologize for since it will be a little uncomfortable with the swab.

If only you had some vanilla, then I think you would make a mean Neapolitan Oreo. You know what. I think another sample is necessary, because I need to dip it in milk. I apologize again for the discomfort.

Hmm…it’s decent with milk, but I prefer dipping regular Oreos in milk.

Well your va-jay-jay looks good, Limited Edition Oreo Strawberry Milkshake Creme. Do you have any questions for me? No? Well then, take care of yourself, avoid men who scratch their balls too much, keep your cooter away from schlongs it can’t handle, and I’ll see you in a few months.

Yes, “cooter” and “schlong” are now approved scientific terms.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 140 calories, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 3 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 120 milligrams of sodium, 45 milligrams of potassium, 21 grams of carbs, less than 1 gram of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, 1 grams of protein, and 1 gram of Kelis jokes.)

(Editor’s Note: For more Oreo Strawberry Milkshake Creme reviews without va-jay-jay references, check out the review from Phoood, We Called It, and Oreo Opinion.)

Item: Limited Edition Oreo Strawberry Milkshake Creme
Price: $3.89
Purchased at: Star Market
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Delicious. Creme center tastes kind of like strawberry ice cream. Kind of addicting, like regular Oreos. No trans fats. Mila Kunis.
Cons: Limited edition. Visits to the gynecologist. Not that great with milk, like regular Oreos are. Eating an entire tray of them in one sitting.

49 thoughts to “Limited Edition Oreo Strawberry Milkshake Creme”

  1. O.o

    I opened this up from my RSS reader thinking “oooh strawberry milkshake oreos! yum!” However I now want nothing to do with the damn things because I will be eternally reminded of having to go through my yearly humiliation.

    *kicks you in the knee*

    Thanks a lot.

    (btw…gross and utterly unappetizing as it was…the review was still pretty funny hehe)

  2. Lol! Now I’m looking forward to an Oreo Cookie-flavoured milkshake to go with it.

    Not sure how you’d get lumps of cookie to go up the straw, but that’s for the food boffins to work out.

  3. I didn’t get where you were going with this until I got to the picture of the cookie opened up. And then I laughed forever.

  4. Wow, this product sounds really tasty but that second photo was very…disturbing.

    There is actually a Mexican restaurant called “The Pink Taco” at the Hard Rock Casino in Las Vegas. However, I never ate there.

  5. Marvo, you are one sick bastard.

    And damnit, I love you for it. But I can’t stop staring at the cookie.

  6. what does mila kunis have to do with this cookie? How dare you mar her reputation. Or are you making an analogy to her nipples (or whoevers those were in “forgetting Sarah Marshall”)?

  7. My boss brought a package of these to work today. When he started licking his fingers and announcing that he could “really get into these” I had to leave the breakroom in near-hysterical laughter.

    *Sigh* So much for my annual competency review.

  8. It is way too early for me to be reading this review I also think I should cancel my appointment with my lady doctor next week.

  9. It’s time for angry bob to take a stand. angry bob will no longer consume anything that isn’t at least 62.8% trans fat.

    Also, SheWhoMustNotBeNamed, I name you “Alice”.

    *waits patiently for the universe to implode*

    *now waiting impatiently*

  10. That’s… um… wow. Marvo, where do you come up with this stuff… seriously. 😛 *stares in disbelief*

    On a product-related note, I’ve never really been into strawberry milkshake flavored things. They had some Whoppers in that flavor recently.. I could really only eat a couple, they were too sweet and had a weird fake strawberry/chalky thing going on. Eh. But maybe it’d work in an Oreo. That is, if I could only actually eat one with a straight face, now…

  11. I loved when they had these things last year! I bought one box, had one, and everyone else ate the rest. They stopped selling them by the time I got back to the store.

    This year?

    I bought 5 boxed. 2 of which are hidden in my car. Suck on that roomates!

  12. …Have you lost your mind? Half the time, i was trying not to jack off, and the rest, I was trying not to jack off some more.

  13. Which reminds me, I have to make sure to put my “used” cookies back in with the white ones, not the green or brown ones.

  14. Despite the visions of a pink taco (also known as a chwalla-walla), these are pretty good. Strawberries be damned! 🙂

  15. Marvo, babe, you seem to have an awful lot of first hand knowledge about what goes on during a gynecological exam for an “amateur” Oreo eater.

    After my last exam, my doc did actually taste the chunky pink stuff left on the speculum–but he declined to try the brown crumbly stuff…

  16. digger – Thanks for the digg!

    SheWhoMustNotBeNamed – Just a quick note for next time you want to kick me in the knee. I always wear skateboard knee pads, because I’m extremely clumsy, so your kicks will have no effect on me.

    Tiggy – Blend, baby! Blend!

    SheRa – You are welcome!

    whip1 – Are you still laughing?

    Chuck – I bet a lot of people have eaten at The Pink Taco. ::wink::wink:: I am immature.

    Brie – Sick bastard? I’ll take that as a compliment.

    luckinflux – No, I think the sexiest picture of a cookie ever would be a chocolate chip cookie balanced on its side on Jessica Alba’s ass.

    yawnie – I just wanted to voice my opinion that I think Mila Kunis is a beautiful woman, hence, a pro.

    Annaliese – Oh, the timing of that was so sweet.

    Kylie – No, do not cancel your appointment. It’s important to see your lady doctor on a regular basis, because your lady doctor is the best person to keep an eye out on your lady parts…”lady parts” is also an approved scientific term.

    Beaner – If you take the top of an Oreo off, they can go wild.

    angry bob – If you can create a black hole, you don’t have to wait.

  17. demondoll – If these become a regular item, expect to have a double-stuff version.

    Ali – Where do I get this stuff? I get it from a magical place, where unicorns roam and flowers smile back at you. It’s a peaceful place where it’s always sunny and everyone says hello.

    Kay – You should’ve not posted that information on the internet, your roommates now know they need to break into your car.

    Shannon – I eat your milkshake!

    liz – What you should be asking is: Where were my two latex covered fingers when I wrote this?

    Molly – I’ll take that as a compliment.

    Steph – No, it’s so right. So, so right.

    Reprobate – I hope you did not get blue balls.

    Doodoolicious – I try.

    Michael – STRAWBERRIES BE DAMNED!!! I thought that needed more umph.

    Brenda – Gynecology is just a little hobby of mine, that’s all.

  18. This review had such wonderful imagery…i think we were all sitting in the stirrups with Oreo Strawberry Milkshake Creme and Dr. Marvo. So many wild reviews, but this one was perhaps the most risque?

    Does knowing “approved scientific terms” get you more va-jay- jay?

  19. OMG, Marvo, this review made me laugh so hard I cried!
    Chuck, I have eaten at the pink taco (THE RESTRAUNT!!! STOP GIGGLING MARVO!) It was ok as far as mexican goes.
    Here where I live we have a sushi joint called- PINK TUNA-
    Never went in that place.. much better prices at a sushi place right up the street. Now that restraunt name is pretty good too don’t you think boys?

  20. angry bob’s stupid supercollider never makes any black holes. Thus he must resort to naming people who can’t be named, most of whom were apparently overstating their unnameability. Alice.

  21. Think that was sweet? I can even top my own story. I work in a hospital and about an hour after I made my post my boss invited one of the staff gynecologists in for coffee. Guess what they snacked on during their discussion.

  22. skibs – Knowing approved scientific terms get me restraining orders.

    Bikerbabeee – I’m much more mature than that. Pull my finger.

    angry bob – You need more mad scientists or federal funding.

    KrissPin – You know, there are books for that. Like this one. (Possibly NSFW)

    Annaliese – I wonder if the gynecologist likes to twist off the top and lick the creme first.

    Shannon – Okay. Lemme first build a several thousand mile long straw.

    JOSH!!! – Great. Now I need a towel.

    Kylie – “Lady bits” is also an approved scientific term.

  23. Marvo, your review was verging on the pornographic, but I’v got to admit I enjoyed it!

  24. Yikes. Review some lemon peel and you can easily continue along the same thread.

  25. Shannon – That is going to be one looooooooong straw.

    JOSH!!! – :-)!!!!

    dramastically – Just thinking about dried lemon peel is making me pucker.

  26. HOLYCRAPTHESETHINGSARESOGOOD! I’m not even a big Oreo fan, but WOW! I ate one while I packed my lunch to take to the office with me and ended up eating the whole bag. I feel so bad. I’ve turned into the “eats a whole bag of Oreos in one sitting” guy.


  27. I’ve actually had a vag doctor tell me everything was “pink and healthy” down there. Although it was good news, I wanted to cry.

  28. I am equal parts completely horrified and trying not to snort coffee out of my nose from laughing so hard after reading your OB/GYN review of a pink stuffed cookie. heh…I said stuffed cookie.

  29. I saw this review and was like “I NEEEEEEEEEED THOSE” so when I saw them in the store I bought them and ate some on the way home. They are delicious! The extra berry kick is really appreciated. They should make lemon cream oreos!

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