Wrigley’s 5 Gum (Lush and Elixir)

Back in my day, the only fruit-flavored gum we had was Juicy Fruit. It came in banana yellow packaging, you couldn’t make bubbles for shit with it, it did nothing to freshen breath, and if I were caught chewing it, I got called “fruity,” which at 10 years old I had no idea what that meant, nor did the 8 year old bullies calling me that. Chewing gum companies have recently been releasing a plethora of fruit-flavored gum, like the Wrigley’s 5 Gum Lush and Elixir flavors, and I can understand why. Because all the mint flavor names are taken.

Spearmint, Peppermint, Wintermint, Chill Mint, Ice Mint, Mint Blast, Shiver Mint, Cool Mint, Fresh Mint, Mint Freeze, Frost Mint, Arctic Chill, Cool Frost, Winter Ice, Wild Winter, Vanilla Frost, Hypermint, Icy Blast, Sweetmint, Winterfresh, Polar Ice, Supermint, Crystal Mint, Winterfrost, Midnight Cool, Ice Fresh, and I could go on and on until the break of dawn, but as you can see the minds that hawk mint gums pretty much have sucked the cock of minty marketing names dry to the point where not even tickling the balls of creativity will help.

I’m of the mindset that gum should be used for freshening breath or if you want to digest something for seven years. I don’t want my breath smelling like fruit. What am I? A five dollar backalley whore? Everyone knows that high-class hookers chew minty gum, unless their client wants them to chew something else, but that usually involves a schoolgirl outfit and costs extra. However, the Wrigley’s 5 Lush and Elixir flavors are slowing making me realize that perhaps being a five dollar backalley whore isn’t so bad.

With a name like Lush, I expected it to taste like Tara Reid or any cast member from MTV’s Real World, but instead it had a tropical flavor, which tasted like it consisted of pineapple, banana, and another fruit, which I couldn’t figure out. It was good and it tasted similar to other “tropical” products I’ve tried in the past. As for the Elixir flavor, its berry taste starts out gross, but once the initial flavor subsides after about a minute or two, it becomes a decent chew and has a strawberry-ish taste. While chewing Elixir I was hoping it would increase my hit points in my RPG game called Life, but I checked my stats and I’m still a “Fruity Weakling.”

(Nutrition Facts – 1 stick – Less than 5 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 2 grams of sugar alcohol, 0 grams of protein, 0 ounces of alcohol, and 0 hit points attained.)

(Editor’s Note: Gigi also reviewed these flavors at her blog. You can read her reviews here and here. TIB reviewed the original Wrigley’s 5 gum flavors last year. You can read that review by clicking here.)

Item: Wrigley’s 5 Gum (Lush and Elixir)
Price: $1.49 each
Size: 15 pieces
Purchased at: Wal-Mart
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Lush)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Elixir)
Pros: Tropical flavored Lush has a good flavor. Once the initial flavor subsides, Elixir has a decent strawberry-ish flavor. Sugarfree. Decent lasting flavor. 15 sticks per pack. Nice packaging. Lush doesn’t taste like a Real World cast member.
Cons: Not minty. Elixir’s initial flavor is gross. Uses aspartame. The cock of minty gum names is all used up. Elixir didn’t give me any hit points. Digesting gum. Five dollar backalley whores. I’m still a Fruity Weakling.

22 thoughts on “Wrigley’s 5 Gum (Lush and Elixir)

  1. I tried Rain, which is their name for the peppermint flavor, it was pretty good, very strong pepperminty flavor.

  2. I’m holding out for savory meal-flavored gum. You know, like cheese or steak or garlic mashed potatoes.

    When I can walk around chewing my salmon in dill sauce gum (named “Splash” in the Wrigley’s line), then I’ll know that the world is, indeed, a good place.

  3. The RBG Game of, “Life”…? Not framiliar with that title. I’d rather play Too Human because if I were to walk around with a giant sword and chop up robots in “Life” I would probally get a padded cell.

  4. I love your metaphors. Tickling the balls of creativity, indeed! Maybe they need to massage creativity’s prostate as well.

  5. Lush and Elixer sound like names of those five dollar backalley whores! I can fix you up with the antibiotics you will need after visiting them!

  6. I tried the Lush gum, and, while it was okay, it had an odd crunch to it upon first chewing it. It was like there were crystals of stuff in it…

  7. The best “fruity” gum has always been and will always remain to be Fruit Stripe (with that adorable giraffe). It isn’t even that great, and the flavor from 2 pieces only lasts for about 6 minutes. Nontheless, I always remembered chewing this as a kid and loved it. Needless to say, I hate gum now and never chew it… sigh.

  8. @Lex – I generally like all of the Wrigley’s 5 flavors.

    @Armauld – If only Willy Wonka were alive, you could’ve had that.

    @Nevis – But if those robots are evil, you’d be a hero.

    @Chuck – But that can get messy, but oh that would feel so good.

    @bikerbabeee – With five dollar backalley whores, I’m going to need more than anibiotics. I’ll probably need a blowtorch.

    @PRH – I noticed that odd crunch too, but I forgot to mention it. I kind of that crunch.

    @ChrisP – Six minutes? I think you’re being generous there. It’s more like 60 seconds.

  9. The ‘Elixir’ variety tastes like Hawaiian Punch a bit. Being from Hawaii, you should be ashamed that you did not piece together that comparison on your own.

  10. @iemusic – But…but…but…the cool black packaging.

    @E – Actually, being from Hawaii it’s shameful to drink Hawaiian Punch. Not many places sell it here.

    @Jimmis– Lush, iz a good.

  11. Great reviews as always! Although I couldn’t resist pointing this one out:

    “What am I? A five dollar backalley whore.” The second sentence should be a question mark. Unless of course… you answered your own question XD

  12. @TheIncrediblyBoredReviewer – You are absolutely correct. There should be a question mark there. Made the change above. Thanks.

  13. theres 5 flavors you morons!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  14. @Matthew – Lush is good, Elixir…not so much.

    @Anonymous – Are you talking to me? If you’re talking to me, did you read the review? I did mention there were other flavors. Actually, I reviewed them. And really, is “morons” the best word you can use. How about using “cankerous taint” next time? And a little less exclamation points…okay, significantly less exclamation points because it makes you look like a cankerous taint.

  15. Lush tastes overwhelmingly of grapefruit to me at first. Could something so prosaic be your mystery fruit or are my taste buds just malfunctioning? I love 5 gum (usually “Fire” and whatever cutesy name the spearmint one is) but it does seem to lose its flavor so quickly after blowing its initial wad.

  16. You suck.
    5 gum is awsome.
    All 5 flavors.
    And Elixir doesn’t taste gross at the beginning.
    Go crawl in a ditch and die.

  17. @smoovegeek – It’s flavor lasts for a decent amount of time. I would find out but I’m too lazy.

    @No – I have my opinion and you have your opinion. Although because you can’t fucking spell the word “awesome” and you wished for my death, I don’t value your opinion. Good luck with the rest of your life, you fucking troll.

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