REVIEW: Angry Whopper

Angry Whopper

With the name Angry Whopper, you would expect this burger to be one spicy mofo that burns worse than the penis of a 1980’s rocker who’s conquered way too many groupies. However, despite containing jalapeno slices, pepper jack cheese, spicy onion rings, and a spicy Angry Sauce, the Angry Whopper produced just a whimper.

The only anger I get from the Angry Whopper is the anger I feel for it not being spicy enough. The red Angry Sauce was more peppery than spicy, the onion rings tasted normal, and the pepper jack cheese produced jack shit in terms of spiciness. The pickled jalapeno was the only ingredient that produced any spicy heat.

On an angry scale of one to ten, with ten being Naomi Campbell beating your ass with a cell phone for not ensuring her Starbucks order was at her desired temperature of 63 degrees Celcius and one being an even-toned “I’m disappointed in you” from your laid back parents who don’t really believe in discipline, the Angry Whopper was a three, or a quick Three Stooges-esque slap to the head.

The Angry Whopper may not be able to burn Satan’s mouth or my own, but it’s damn tasty. The two ingredients that made me kind of forget about this burger’s lack of heat was the tangy Angry Sauce and the smokey bacon, both of which turned this burger into one delicious mamma jamma.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 burger – 880 calories, 55 grams of fat, 18 grams of saturated fat, 2 grams of trans fat, 110 milligrams of cholesterol, 1670 milligrams of sodium, 59 grams of carbs, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 13 grams of sugar, 37 grams of protein, and minutes of regret.)

Item: Angry Whopper
Price: $5.29
Size: 321 grams
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Very tasty. Angry Sauce was really good. Bacon. Best name for a Whopper spinoff EVER. Groupies.
Cons: Not very angry (spicy). Pricey. An insane amount of sodium. Getting beat down by a skinny supermodel with anger management problems. Parents who don’t believe in discipline. A burning penis.

53 thoughts on “REVIEW: Angry Whopper

  1. I think my doctor would be angry at me if I buy one of these. But it does sound tasty. For real heat they need to add some habaneros, sounds like.

  2. Mamma jamma? HA! I fell like I just got thrown back to 1980 something or other.

    Stevie Wonder powers activate!
    yeah ohh ohhhahahah look at her
    shes a bad mamma jamma
    just as fineas she can be
    shes a bad mamma jamma
    just as fine as she can be

    her body measurements are perfect in every dimension
    shes got a figure thats sure to get attentikon
    shes blah emoiton
    i get so excited viewing her anatomy

    OHHHHH OHHHHHH
    got all the things that men like
    got all teh curves that men like

    look at her

    shes a bad mamma jamma
    just as fine as she can be
    shes a bad mamma jamma
    just as fine as she can be

    HEY

    shes a bad mamma jamma
    just as fine as she can be
    shes a bad mamma jamma
    just as fine as she can be

    ohhhh

    looks like shes bold and beautiful
    shes bad
    the essence of beauty
    shes foxy classy oh sexy sassy
    shes heavenly
    a treat for the eye to see

    shes real ohhh shes got it
    got all teh curves that men like
    ohhhh shes bad
    got all teh curves a man like
    ohhh baby

    shes a bad mamma jamma
    just as fine as she can be
    shes a bad mamma jamma
    just as fine as she can be

  3. Ouch. That is a steep price, considering Jack is also currently promoting a presidential deal for with the $2.99 Jumbo Jack combo, which also includes 2 tacos and a fries. I wonder how a Jumbo Jack would taste with a taco wedged into the bun with it?

    I’ve never been one for “everything including the kitchen sink” burgers, which sounds like the case here. Too busy. Perhaps just the angry sauce and bacon would be enough. Leave the pepperjack and onion rings out.

  4. “…and the pepper jack cheese produced jack shit in terms of spiciness.”

    I lol’d.

    Most of these fast food items that claim to be spicy are as tame as a household pussycat. This dissapoints me. I want to create a burger so spicy that only hardcore masochists and people with no tastebuds will buy it.

  5. Speaking of mean beef, considering you’ve eaten habanero beef jerky, I bet it’s hard for the meat to be angry enough anyways.

    Angry Whopper looks yummy, but fast food jalapenos always suck.

  6. Remember that evil villian from the simpsons ……side show bob…. well the angry whoppers sort of like him
    all bark [Bart] no bite….most food for american diners are scaled way way back…. speaking of heat in vietnam I had to hunt a VC sniper lets just say that was angry

  7. @Orchid64 – Wait…we’re talking about a burger here, right? 😉

    @Chuck – For some real burning, all they need to do is scrape…okay, I think I’ll stop there. I was going to write something about Paris Hilton vagina, but then realized I didn’t want that imagine in my head.

    @luckinflux – I remember that song. I feel old. 🙁

    @Pomai – I saw that deal while passing by the two JITBs on King Street. I’m surprised it’s really $2.99 here. I would’ve thought they might jack the price (pun intended) to $3.99. But at $2.99, I bet it’s going to sell well.

    @Luna – I totally agree. A fast food place needs to have the balls to come out with a burger that will make me cry. I’m thinking Carl’s Jr./Hardee’s might have the balls.

    @angry bob – ANGRY! ANGRY! ANGRY! ME SMASH!

    @Zach – It’s kind of BBQ-y.

    @skibs – Fast food jalapenos seem to always be pickled. I wonder if fresh jalapenos are hotter.

    @Neil – I’m hoping that someone in a fast food development kitchen will have the cojones to make customers’ mouths burn like the gates of Hell.

  8. So, does it have the “liquid smoke” flavoring too?!! Burger King is like Feline heaven…What cat wouldn’t want to be the meat in an angry whopper??

  9. Hahahha! I saw an ad for this in Spanish (on Telemundo or Azteca or whatever)! I was wondering if this was a joke @ the Whopper being angry too! Hahahahah….how come spicy is just an advertisement for some savory flavors with no kick?

  10. gotta tell ya, i just ate this thing and i myself am a whopper virgin who loves the spice and this actually hit the spot. i loved it. mine also looked 100% better than the one in the pic and provided ample spice. not really that expensive when you compare it to other places but terrified after seeing those nutrition facts. wendy’s 4 alarm chicken sandwich was the hottest ff item ive ever had. and to the guy that said too busy, can do without cheese, why bother. how do you live!

  11. @luckinflux: Stevie Wonder didn’t sing “She’s a Bad Mama Jama”, it was Carl Carlton.

    @luna: I agree that fast food almost always misses the mark when it comes to spicy.

    Dairy Queen’s Flame Thrower does a pretty good job.
    Wendy’s Spicy Chicken…eh.
    Taco Bell’s Jalapeno Chicken Melt was worthy of the SPICY descriptor…unfortunately it was a limited-time-only and is, sadly, gone.

  12. 1st off: thank you luckinflux for being this threads official dumb ass douche bag!
    I was very disappointed in the angry whopper. I hardley ever eat at fast food joints, but this thing looked so tasty I had to give it a try. Well, back to fast food hyernation until the next gimicky burger comes around. The bacon was chewy and stretchy like a used band-aid, the pepper jack could of passed as american. And worst of all was this weird sweet and pungent mango like sauce the poured on, GROSS! Honestly, this burger was more sweet than spicy. I like the regular whopper way better. This burger was not spicy at all and I would never order it again.

  13. They should make a “Sad Whopper” because I was so excited about the name “Angry Whopper” until you said it wasn’t that angry afterall. 🙁

  14. I tried one of these yesterday. I agree on the mildness. The Whopper showed up in a pretty good mood, actually.

    It only got angry later. Several times.

  15. I tried one… WEAK. It was basically a WESTERN WHOPPER. Shame on you burger king. Rename a western whopper to trick me into buying it. Good commercial though!

    No kidding… Barbecue sauce, onion rings (normal onion rings, no angry at all?), pepper jack that tastes like plain American cheese. And BTW, NO jalapenos. That may be my local place, but what a DISAPPOINTMENT.

    If yo ulike western whoppers, go ahead and buy it, but otherwise it’s a waste of money. Go with a regular whopper instead.

  16. Angry Whopper is the burger to heat if you want to fart poison gas clouds, shit painful bricks, incinerate your intestines, ruin your digestive system and lay the carpet for an eventual heart attack or stroke…

  17. @ballzagna

    My point exactly, good Sir… I can smell the stench from way over here…please, open a window or light a match or something…

  18. I agree with those who have said that usually fastfood doesn’t hit the mark with anything being spicy enough. Back when Wendy’s had the burger that had jalapenos, pepper jack and cheese sauce (forget what it was called) I ordered the spicy chicken sandwich and had them add the jack cheese and jalapenos. I then added their spicy chili sauce (gold packets for the chili). That was a GREAT sandwich. I should market it to them!

  19. The price and calorie content were too steep for the taste. The sauce was like Arby’s (although I think it might have been better with the Horsey sauce). The bacon and jalapenos were the only saving grace on an otherwise wasted charbroiled flavored Whopper.

  20. Marvo, FYI, I picked up one of them JITB $2.99 the other day and actually tried putting the taco in the Jumbo Jack to try together. It doesn’t work. They both have too much character in and of themselves and don’t compliment each other, but try to cancel each other out. The taco still tastes like the taco and the burger tastes like the burger.

    Even eaten separately, one bite of the taco, then one bite of the hamburger doesn’t match at all, IMO.

    They should stick with the Mexican theme and offer two Tacos and an order of Stuffed Jalapenos instead of the burger and fries for $2.99.

    I say just bring back the 99 cent Jumbo Jack. I – like many folks I know – really miss that deal.

  21. I tried this too, and I thought the angry sauce actually tasted like the barbecue sauce that was on the BBQ Bacon Tendercrisp that BK had last year.

  22. Had one over the weekend, though mine was more mildly perturbed than angry. I am not one to choose overly spicy foods, but I give it about a 4 on a scale of 1-10. My husband gave it a 1, but he can eat anything and usually doesn’t get the mildest kick from things called spicy.

    I agree with the person who said they prefer the regular Whopper. I also didnt’ care for the sauce. It was too BBQey for me, and they should warn that for people who dont care for that smokey crap on their food!

  23. THis was a wimp of a burger. I love hot foods and was very disappointed. I think of a scale of 1-20 where 10 is the hottest this is a .5 I asked for xtra japs and still didn’t get one in every bite. sauce tasted like regular BBQ sauce. Couldn;t taste and cheese that was spicy. really disappointed. Try some Blairs – Mega Death sauce on it then it will make you angry

  24. Listen. If burger king actually made this burger no average American person would eat it. Its funny that jalapeno peppers are the “go to” ingredient to call something spicy in many of the dumb food menus lately.

    I work at a Thai restaurant where the food in general is very spicy, however because if we made the food the way they make it in Thailand no one would order any of our food. So we don’t put any spices in foods unless it uses ingredients that naturally make the food spicy for example curry.

    I’ve had people order food that wanted 3-4 stars of spice which 1 star= 1 teaspoon of dried grounded chili pepper and wanted there money back cause they couldn’t eat it. Hell people even complain thats its too spicy even with 1 star.

    Its a simple fact of making money to appeal to the mass market and not scaring off its targeted consumers with the thought of something burning their mouth.

  25. THIS BURGER IS DISGUSTING. I’M A FAT FAST FOOD JUNKIE THAT LOVES EVERY TYPE OF FAST FOOD YOU CAN THINK OF, AND THIS BURGER IS THE ONLY TYPE OF FAST FOOD BURGER I HAVE EVER THROWN ON THE GROUND IN ANGER BECAUSE IT WAS TERRIBLE. Burger king’s breakfast and chicken isn’t bad tho.
    Tim, club No whoppers

  26. Hey spicy food afficianados!

    First, let me say that I was extremely disappointed and insulted by the Angry Whopper from Burger King.

    With such hype, especially on SPIKE, I expected more than a sad, tired out rehash of an old burger combination. Sheesh! Cocoapuffs are hotter. What a joke!

    Next, let me say that I tried to contact Burger King by email, but they have no email address. Huh. I guess they don’t like hearing their customers feedback.

    Go back to the kitchen BK, cause this burger is a DUD.

  27. I thought it was more agitated than angry. Tasted good, otherwise. Put some of my own habanero sauce on it to spice it up. If I buy it again, will have to ‘have it my way’ and get 2 or 3 times the amount of jalapenos they put on it.

  28. I have always enjoyed whoppers, being one who likes spicy food I just HAD to try the Angry Whopper. Like the author of this post I do agree, it is not spicy at all. I found the sauce to be a nice tangy sweet, but not too sweet or overbearing. The sauce REALLY complemented the other flavors in the burger.

    Even with it lacking the spicy I expected, I wouldn’t want them to change it, it’s perfect in flavor as is. Sure, it isn’t spicy but it is really good.

    They should call it something like “Tangy Sweet Whopper” to be more descriptive and use angry whopper for something that really does hold a spicy kick. As long as you don’t go into it expecting spicy you will likely enjoy it, heck you might enjoy it anyways like I did! If you expect spicy above all else however then you’ll find the Angry Whopper lacking in kick.

  29. Yeah, it’s kinda weak, but BK still has to sell to the mass market. It is very tasty for moderately spicy fast food fare. Shame on you for leaving home without a bottle of habanero sauce to kick it up 100,000 Scoville units.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *