REVIEW: Angry Whopper

Written by | January 5, 2009

Topics: 7 Rating, Burger King, Fast Food

Angry Whopper

With the name Angry Whopper, you would expect this burger to be one spicy mofo that burns worse than the penis of a 1980′s rocker who’s conquered way too many groupies. However, despite containing jalapeno slices, pepper jack cheese, spicy onion rings, and a spicy Angry Sauce, the Angry Whopper produced just a whimper.

The only anger I get from the Angry Whopper is the anger I feel for it not being spicy enough. The red Angry Sauce was more peppery than spicy, the onion rings tasted normal, and the pepper jack cheese produced jack shit in terms of spiciness. The pickled jalapeno was the only ingredient that produced any spicy heat.

On an angry scale of one to ten, with ten being Naomi Campbell beating your ass with a cell phone for not ensuring her Starbucks order was at her desired temperature of 63 degrees Celcius and one being an even-toned “I’m disappointed in you” from your laid back parents who don’t really believe in discipline, the Angry Whopper was a three, or a quick Three Stooges-esque slap to the head.

The Angry Whopper may not be able to burn Satan’s mouth or my own, but it’s damn tasty. The two ingredients that made me kind of forget about this burger’s lack of heat was the tangy Angry Sauce and the smokey bacon, both of which turned this burger into one delicious mamma jamma. It’s so good that if a Whopper Virgin were to eat this burger, they would love how tight it is and become a huge Whopper slut.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 burger – 880 calories, 55 grams of fat, 18 grams of saturated fat, 2 grams of trans fat, 110 milligrams of cholesterol, 1670 milligrams of sodium, 59 grams of carbs, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 13 grams of sugar, 37 grams of protein, and minutes of regret.)

Item: Angry Whopper
Price: $5.29
Size: 321 grams
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Very tasty. Angry Sauce was really good. Bacon. Best name for a Whopper spinoff EVER. Groupies.
Cons: Not very angry (spicy). Pricey. An insane amount of sodium. Getting beat down by a skinny supermodel with anger management problems. Parents who don’t believe in discipline. A burning penis.






51 Comments For This Post I'd Love to Hear Yours!

  1. James says:

    The author is crude but he knows his food. It’s Wimper Burger

  2. Victor B says:

    I have always enjoyed whoppers, being one who likes spicy food I just HAD to try the Angry Whopper. Like the author of this post I do agree, it is not spicy at all. I found the sauce to be a nice tangy sweet, but not too sweet or overbearing. The sauce REALLY complemented the other flavors in the burger.

    Even with it lacking the spicy I expected, I wouldn’t want them to change it, it’s perfect in flavor as is. Sure, it isn’t spicy but it is really good.

    They should call it something like “Tangy Sweet Whopper” to be more descriptive and use angry whopper for something that really does hold a spicy kick. As long as you don’t go into it expecting spicy you will likely enjoy it, heck you might enjoy it anyways like I did! If you expect spicy above all else however then you’ll find the Angry Whopper lacking in kick.

  3. Falling Up says:

    Yeah, it’s kinda weak, but BK still has to sell to the mass market. It is very tasty for moderately spicy fast food fare. Shame on you for leaving home without a bottle of habanero sauce to kick it up 100,000 Scoville units.

  4. Whopper Slut says:

    I love how tight all my whoppers are. Proud to be a whopper slut,
    hashtag whopperslut.

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