REVIEW: Axe Whatever Messy Look Paste

Written by | March 18, 2009

Topics: 7 Rating, Axe, Personal

Axe Whatever Paste

On the Axe Whatever Messy Look Paste’s container, which for some reason kind of reminds me of the Legion of Doom’s headquarters, the following is printed on its label: “Girls don’t like that crusty, crunchy hair you get from gels.”

If Axe’s canister copywriters are correct, I’ve been living in a style faux pas for the past several years, because I’ve been using a hair gel that makes my hair crustier than a hobo’s armpit and crunchier than a bag of Cheetos. But I love my hair gel because it makes something on my body remain stiff for more than four hours without the need to see a doctor and it gives my hair to ability to pop balloons so that I can make the children holding them cry.

The Whatever Messy Look Paste is part of Axe’s new hair product line, which is made up of shampoos, conditioners and hair styling products. It expands Axe’s Axis of Evil Aromas. For those of you who are regular Impulsive Buy readers, you know that I’m not a big fan of Axe products and have given them bad reviews because I think all their products smell alike and they have never gotten a guy tackled, kissed, groped or bitten, despite what their commercials show. Because of my feelings towards Axe products, I didn’t expect much from the Whatever Messy Look Paste, but I have to admit that I kind of liked it.

Axe has four hair products; each is used for a different type of styling: spiked, shaggy, clean and messy. The Axe Whatever Messy Look Paste, obviously, gives users a messy just-out-of-bed look, which is otherwise known as the It Looks Like I Don’t Give A Shit About My Hair, But I Really Do Because I Spent Five Minutes Looking At Myself In The Mirror Trying to Make My Hair This Messy look. I was able to make my hair messy with it, but I also made it fairly neat, as you can see above.

The hair paste was baby blue in color. If I remember correctly from my days as a drooling, diaper-pooping infant, that is a boyish color. Its scent was much more pleasant than any other Axe product I’ve tried, but it also smelled like a woman’s deodorant. And I should know what a women’s deodorant smells like because I’ve licked my fair share of female armpits for $50 on top of their usual hourly rate.

Applying the paste was simple; all I had to do was use a finger-tip amount, rub it vigorously between my hands, spread it thoroughly through my damp hair and style. Because the product was baby blue, it temporarily gave some of my hair a baby blue sheen, but it quickly faded as I styled it.

The product did a good job of maintaining its hold. Even after having it on the whole day, it pretty much looked the same as when I applied it. It didn’t make my hair stiff and it didn’t flake, but it was a little greasy, which would make it slightly unappealing for a woman to run her fingers through my hair while I lick her armpit for an extra fifty bucks.

Item: Axe Whatever Messy Look Paste
Price: $6.48
Size: 2.64 ounces
Purchased at: Wal-Mart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Does a good job maintaining hold. Doesn’t smell like other Axe products. Didn’t flake. Able to make my hair messy and neat with it. Licking a woman’s armpit.
Cons: Made my hair a little greasy. Smells like a woman’s deodorant. Baby blue color is kind of weird. Gives hair a temporary baby blue sheen. Having to pay $50 to lick a woman’s armpit (It should be included in the hourly rate).






18 Comments For This Post I'd Love to Hear Yours!

  1. Orchid64 says:

    I wonder if people could have conceptualized paying their hard-earned cash to use a hair product to make their hair look messy. I’ve seen a lot of Japanese men fuss and fuss with their hair to make it look like your “messy” look and it just seems so pointless. Still, if it gets you more armpits to lick, more power to you. ;-)

  2. Marvo says:

    @Orchid64: They should have hair sculptors in Japan. Pay a couple hundred yen to have their hair sculpted before they head out. If there’s a country crazy enough to have something like that, it would be Japan.

  3. Molly says:

    The scent of Axe products repel women away from you, yet you continue to use them on your person. Is there something you might be ready to finally tell us, dear?

  4. Marvo says:

    @Molly: I’m a glutton for punishment or I’m afraid of catching cooties from women.

  5. lex says:

    Haha ew!

    See I would rather the crusty hair because it doesn’t come off on my hands when I touch it. However you can’t run your hands through someone’s hair when they are using wax/paste stuff or else you end up with a nasty coating all over your hands..

    Just saying.. and it takes my husband 10 minutes with his hair wax to get that messy look.. :)

  6. Villain was born like this... says:

    Hmmm sadly this product wouldn’t work with my type of hair…still makes me wonder about the whole axe product line in general still who knows you could definatly still be gellin’

  7. I’ve never really been a fan of Axe products either, and this one doesn’t intrigue me any more than the others did. Oh, and while their latest commercials are much less tasteless than the older ones, they’re no less annoying. -_-

  8. Chuck says:

    This sounds similar in consistency to the American Crew pomade I use. I’m addicted to that stuff. Plus, most American Crew products smell very nice, and not like a woman’s deoderant. Still, I suppose this would do in a pinch or if I was stranded on a desert island somewhere.

  9. Emily says:

    you should have taken a picture of what the stuff actually looks like

  10. Marvo says:

    @lex: I guess I’m going to have to carry around a tub of Wet Wipes now.

    @Villain was born like this…: This product also doesn’t work with completely bald people.

    @NobleArc, The Lazy Canadian: I don’t know if you’ve seen the BK Burger Shots commercial with all the women crowding around the dude holding the Burger Shots, but that is an annoying commercial.

    @Chuck: I have a small sample of American Crew molding cream and it has a pleasant citrus scent. I used to use their hair gel, but it would flake on me.

    @Emily: I would’ve but I enjoy posting photos that contain only parts of my body, yet not revealing who I am.

  11. Emily says:

    then post a picture of it like… on your arm? or forehead? haha.

  12. Calvin says:

    I really like it. Took me forever to find a product that does what it says MESSY hair look. and your right it stays to form throughout the whole day.

  13. Mike says:

    I use axe products all the time but like tv Capone fads in 10mins

  14. Aj says:

    Have you tried the other types: the clean, shaggy, and spiked? If you did, I would like to know your review on it and differences of it.
    I know its a bit stupid asking this as the paste tells what type it is but I would like to know your in-depth information.

    Thanks!

    • Marvo says:

      @Emily: That’s showing too much.

      @Calvin: Cool.

      @Mike: Not cool.

      @Aj: I haven’t tried the others and I don’t think I’ll be reviewing them. Sorry.

  15. avery says:

    I did not like the Axe stuff at all, very weak hold. I have been using MAK hair products Glypto hair paste and it rocks! my hair stays in place all day and night with this stuff.

  16. Melanie says:

    I personally recommend the pro naturals argan oil leave-in treatment. It will help you guys style the hair the way you want to and it will add shine to it too!

  17. Marc says:

    Thanks for the great review. I’ve been using Bumble Bumble styling creme at 4 times the cost and was looking for an alternative. This just might be the product that I use from now on.



Leave a Comment:


Comment Rules: If you tried the product we covered, please feel free to leave your opinion of it. We're totally cool with that. However, if you're going to be a complete douchebag or your comment comes off as spammy, we'll delete your stuff. Have fun and thanks for commenting.