REVIEW: Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Macadamia Ice Cream

Here on these rocks in the middle of the Pacific Ocean we’re known for a lot of things, like warm weather throughout the year, beautiful beaches, pineapples, tourists, Kona coffee, meth addicts, hot female prostitutes who are actually men and marijuana. But were you aware that we’re also known for macadamia nuts?

If you’re not familiar with macadamia nuts, they were named after Australian chemist Dr. John Macadam by his colleague Ferdinand von Mueller, who probably wanted to throw his friend a bone since Mueller had several places in Australia and New Zealand named after him, which includes the Mueller Ranges, Mount Mueller, Mount von Mueller, Mueller’s Peak, the Mueller River, Mueller’s Creek, Lake Mueller, Mueller Glacier and Mueller Park. Macadamia nuts are special because they have the highest amount of beneficial monounsaturated fats among all known nuts, they have a decent amount of protein and carbohydrates and they’ve been called exotic nuts, like they’re Taiwanese tranny hookers.

If you ever visit Hawaii, macadamia nuts are the perfect gift to give to your friends and coworkers to tactfully brag about the fact that you vacationed in Hawaii and enjoyed 80 plus degree weather while they suffered through snow and near freezing conditions. Consider it the non-verbal equivalent of saying “Suck on deez nuts, bitches! I went to Hawaii! Jealous?”

Despite having easy access to macadamia nuts and them being so delicious, I don’t eat them too often because they’re expensive. Also, if I buy some, they’ll be less of them for those tourists who would like nothing better than to give a box of chocolate covered macadamia nuts to the annoying person in the cubicle next to them at work, then talking about how awesome their trip to Hawaii was and then asking what went on at work while he/she was soaking up some rays on a beach with a beverage served in a coconut and topped with a tiny paper umbrella.

While I don’t know if the new Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Macadamia Ice Cream has macadamia nuts from Hawaii, I do know that there wasn’t enough of them in the pint I purchased. Along with the nuts, which are fudge covered, this flavor also consists of chocolate and vanilla ice creams made from Fair Trade Certified cocoa and vanilla, which means the companies that produce them meet certain environmental, labor and development standards.

With all of the ingredients involved I expected the ice cream and my tongue to do the Lambada, the Forbidden Dance, but instead they ended up holding each other at arms length and just swaying from side to side as Atlantic Starr’s “Always” plays. The chocolate and vanilla ice creams were delicious and creamy, but the macadamia nuts overpowered their flavors, but only when I could get a macadamia nut in a spoonful. As I mentioned earlier, I felt there weren’t enough macadamia nuts throughout the pint of ice cream. I counted ten whole nuts, but I think I would’ve preferred them being in much smaller pieces so that they could be spread out more and dampen their flavor.

Now that I think about it, I guess I could add my own smaller pieces of macadamia nuts since they’re so easy to get on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – 270 calories, 18 grams of fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 65 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 22 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein, 10% vitamin A, 15% calcium and 8% iron.)

Item: Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Macadamia Ice Cream
Price: $3.99
Size: 1 Pint
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Chocolate and vanilla ice creams were delicious and creamy. Uses Fair Trade Certified cocoa and vanilla. Macadamia nuts. The perfect gift to give to your friends and coworkers to tactfully brag about the fact that you vacationed in Hawaii.
Cons: Macadamia nuts overpowered the flavor of the ice cream. Slightly disappointing. Not enough nuts were spread throughout the pint. Would’ve been better with smaller nut pieces. Getting chocolate covered macadamia nuts from your co-worker who just came back from Hawaii. Taiwanese tranny hookers.

17 thoughts on “REVIEW: Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Macadamia Ice Cream

  1. How do you know they’re actually men?

    And how do you know about Taiwanese tranny prostitutes?

    This review revealed far more than the fact that the ice cream doesn’t have nearly enough nuts in it.

  2. Haha! Thanks for the history lesson of your floating home’s famous nut (you would not believe home many people bring a can back to the mainland as a gift).

    That’s strange that there was not enough nuts in your mouth….usually Ben & Jerry’s is very liberal with their mix-ins.

  3. I usually like Ben & Jerry’s but I don’t have ice cream too often. This sounds like a flavor with lots of unfulfilled potential….like a tranny hooker who forgot to shave.

  4. I love Maca-ma-damia nuts, but I so rarely eat ice cream any more. Man, if there were more nuts in this, I would have had to go get some.

  5. I think I would probably find this flavor a little dissapointing in my view a chocolate macadamia nut ice cream should in theory have a lot of potential, I’m guessing that where I to consume this product, it would be like a dissapointed parent scolding a teen for less than stellar grades… you know, “I’m not mad, just dissapointed” still it was probably a good idea on paper!

  6. Hmmm a not so subtle “Mahu” description and from what it sounds like a not too great ice cream, which really is a shame. Macadamia nuts are very good if a little pricy too bad they don’t get the chance to shine here like they deserve. I just wanted to tell Ben and Jerry that they kind of fell short with this one, I’ve had this flavor, and I didn’t think it was anywhere near where it could be…

  7. Hmmm I do like chocolate and Macademias, but I don’t care for vanilla ice cream or ice cream that has a vanilla base, hmmm give me some good old Pecan ice cream anyday!

  8. Hmmmm Hobo like crunchy Macadamia Nuts…. Yummmy nuts good in ice cream, make hobo savage(er)!

  9. Marvo, I am starting to think you have some sort of obsession with nuts (gee a man obsessed with his nuts that NEVER happens…) . Is it just me or does it seem like for every 1 good flavor Ben & Jerry’s put out they do 4 crappy ones?. I am also not going to forgive you for getting that Craptacular Atlantic Starr song stuck in my head!

    And to Bear your line “at’s strange that there was not enough nuts in your mouth…” had me giggling like a 13 year old boy.

  10. Macadamia nuts are also really pimped up as a souvenirs in Las Vegas. Nothing says “Vegas Vacation” better than nuts flown in from a 1,000 miles away.

  11. I think they put less nuts in so you have to scoop more out to get some in your bowl, the same with their cookie dough. 😐 Clever tactics.

  12. @Orchid64: how do I know they are actually men? Because I watched an HBO special about them. As for the Taiwanese tranny prostitutes, I thought everybody calls them exotic nuts.

    @Bear Silber: There are pretty much only two things you can bring back from Hawaii as a decent gift: macadamia nuts and coffee.

    @Chuck: Your comment brings to mind something a wise man once said: a tranny hooker who forgets to shave is a tranny hooker who doesn’t get paid.

    @amanda: The only mission this ice cream should have is to make me fat.

    @Andy: Just ask your friend was going to Hawaii to bring back some macadamia nuts and then buy this ice cream and add your own macadamia nuts.

    @Woodenhand: So I’m curious to know the difference between Vik the Viper, Son of a Biscuit Eater and Hobo With a Shotgun. I think you guys all know each other.

  13. Villain was born like this…: I also feel it could’ve been better.

    Son of a Buiscuit Eater: I’m not much of a fan of pecan ice cream. Green tea is a different story.

    Hobo With a Shotgun: I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

    @Gigi: It was either the Atlantic Starr song or Richard Marx.

    @grinder: Also, apparently cookies shaped like playing cards are also pimped as souvenirs.

    @Rachel: More ice cream in my bowl means more ice cream in my belly. But I still would like more nuts.

  14. Well I guess my palate must not be sophisticated because I absolutely loved this ice cream – plenty of nuts and the chocolate and vanilla swirl was creamy and delicious!

  15. @Claudine: Maybe I got a bad pint or something but I didn’t think it has enough nuts in it, but, yes, the chocolate and vanilla were delicious.

  16. I love Choc. Macadamia nut ice Cream, but it’s only available at ONE grocery store in the LA area, and now it’s been discontinued!!! Does that mean we’ll be able to get it somewhere else now? This is the ONLY flavor with dark choc. covered nuts, and a nice blend of vanilla and chocolate. Bummer!! I think a butter Pecan with dark choc. covered nuts of some kind would be stellar!

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