REVIEW: Nestle Soy Sauce Kit Kat

Written by | May 27, 2009

Topics: 7 Rating, Asian, Candy, Food, Japan, Snacks

DISGRACE!

I demand the limited edition Japanese Soy Sauce Kit Kat commit seppuku right now, because it’s nothing like what I expected.

What did I expect?

I thought the whole Soy Sauce Kit Kat was going to come in the color of death, much like actual soy sauce. I’m not talking about just black or the color of eyeliner around Pete Wentz’s eyes, I’m talking about a black so dark that it’s only found in black holes and in the chest cavity of those who kill kittens and puppies for pleasure.

I wanted it to be so black that if I were to touch it, I would either wither and turn into a pile of dust or my fingers would end up in an alternate universe where dinosaurs still roam the lands and Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have their own reality show called Survivor: Heidi and Spencer Trapped on an Island Forever With Hungry Dinosaurs.

Instead it has a white chocolate exterior and a tan wafer interior.

While the Soy Sauce Kit Kat didn’t come in a color that was blacker than the void where Simon Cowell’s heart is supposed to be, I thought it was going to have a strong salty soy sauce flavor that’s so real that I would want to melt each Kit Kat finger down to liquid form and dip my spicy tuna roll or salmon nigirizushi into it. But the Soy Sauce Kit Kat doesn’t have a hint of soy sauce flavor, instead it has a strong maple syrup scent and taste.

WTF, Japan!

I expected, nay, I wanted to be disgusted by this flavor of Kit Kat. I also wanted to brag about how I was man enough to consume a salty, black Kit Kat that made my saliva glands close shut by getting a t-shirt that said, “I Survived a Soy Sauce Kit Kat.” But no, Nestle, the makers of Kit Kat in Japan had to rain on my parade and sic Godzilla on my floral floats and marching bands.

Now I’m stuck with a box of delicious tasting, crispy, maple syrup-flavored, white chocolate Kit Kat, which is the complete opposite of what I wanted. The only thing that kind of disgusted me was the unusually long length of time the maple syrup flavor lingered in my mouth, but it didn’t make me gag like a salty soy sauce flavored candy would’ve.

What are those crazy bastards in Japan going to do to mess with my taste buds next time? A Natto (fermented soybeans) Kit Kat that tastes like cotton candy? A Seaweed Kit Kat with a caramel flavor?

DISGRACE!

(Note: The AV Club reviewed these last year.)

Item: Nestle Soy Sauce Kit Kat
Price: FREE
Size: 12-pack
Purchased at: Received from parents
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Nice maple syrup flavor. Crispy. Heidi and Spencer being eaten by dinosaurs. The variety of Kit Kat flavors in Japan. Being able to say I ate something disgusting.
Cons: Doesn’t have a hint of soy sauce flavor. Doesn’t come in the color of death. Fingers are smaller than regular sized Kit Kat. Hard to find outside of Japan. The maple syrup flavor lingered in my mouth longer than I wanted it to. Limited edition. Having your parade attacked by Godzilla.






31 Comments For This Post I'd Love to Hear Yours!

  1. Marvo says:

    @cian: Unfortunately, it’s all gone. I am a piggy wiggy.

    @Anna: For a country that partly enjoys tentacle sex cartoons, I think a sick joke could be possible.

    @Neil the hammer: I decided to delete your comment because I felt you went a little overboard this time. THAT IS ALL.

  2. Orchid64 says:

    For you, Marvo, I’d do (almost) anything. I’ll have the hubby pick up a box next time he sees them.

    And you can tell Anna that there is no mistranslation. The box clearly says “shoyu”which is soy sauce in Japanese.

  3. Marvo says:

    @Orchid64: I also demand you write a review for them that also involves dipping it in shoyu. Or is that outside of almost anything?

  4. angry bob says:

    How come angry bob never gets censored? Must not be angry enough.

  5. Neil the hammer says:

    why delete my commets i fought so you could be free everything i said was true

  6. Marvo says:

    @angry bob: Try harder. Wait…don’t try harder.

    @Neil the hammer: While you are correct that the Japanese committed atrocities during the Pearl Harbor attack and even more so during the Bataan Death March, all that happened over half a century ago. Your comment was worded in a way that made it sound like all Japanese people are still that way, which is not the case. So I felt it was inappropriate and deleted it.

  7. Anna says:

    Whoa, Soy Sauce Kit-Kats are bringing out the deleted nasty in people! Powerful bad mojo, that is. Consume with caution.

  8. Lil Dave says:

    That would have been funny if it did taste like soy sauce. I think they should put out a banana flavored Kit Kat.

  9. Bear Silber says:

    @Lil Dave – They do…in Canada
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kit_Kat#Kit_Kat_varieties

    Along with (among others):
    Kit Kat Pumpkin – Japan
    Kit Kat Edamame – Japan
    Kit Kat Cookie Dough – Australia
    Kit Kat Yakimorokoshi – grilled corn – Japan
    Kit Kat Jyagaimo – potato – Japan
    Kit Kat Daigakuimo – candied sweet potato – Japan
    Kit Kat Cantaloupe – Japan
    Kit Kat Pineapple – South Africa
    Kit Kat Cappuccino – Poland

  10. kitkatlover111000 says:

    However the actual kitkats are made by Hersheys, not Nestle. Also, after comparing the logos, you will notice close to 17 differences between them. It would have been cool but no wonder they don’t look or taste anything like what you’d expect. They’re made by some fraudulent company.



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