REVIEW: Golden Double Stuf Oreo

Golden Double Stuf Oreo

For those of you who aren’t familiar with porn, when two guys are having intercourse with one woman at the same time, the genre (yes, there are genres) is called double penetration. But I don’t like that term, because it seems a bit too harsh and violent. I’d like to start a movement to get the genre name changed to the much friendlier “double stuf,” named after the regular Double Stuf Oreo and the new Golden Double Stuf Oreo.

Think of it as the equivalent of menstruation’s “Aunt Flo.”

With a more affectionate term, it would be a win-win for the porn industry and Nabisco. More people will buy or rent double stuf videos, like Double Backdoor Honeys, Duo Deckers and Two of a Behind, and hungry masturbators everywhere will crave Double Stuf cookies. Although, the use of the term “cream filling” in the double stuf video might not make the cookies too appetizing.

If double stuf becomes a part of the pornography vernacular, it won’t be long before Double Stuf the Magic Hungmen becomes a porn series.

While you dwell on my awesome cross-promotion skillz, let me tell you about the new Golden Double Stuf Oreos, which for some reason I thought already existed. After I opened the packaging using the easy pull tab, I swear I could smell the scent of marshmallows coming from it. By the way, someone should win a Nobel Peace Prize, or at least an AVN Award, for the easy-to-open resealable packaging.

I haven’t had Golden Oreos in a very long time, but I know in the past that I didn’t really care for them. However, I guess my taste buds have had a change of taste, or maybe it’s the high fructose corn syrup, because I really like its vanilla flavor. The lickable cream filling tastes the same as the stuff found in between the chocolate cookies of a regular Oreo and it enhances the flavor of the crunchy vanilla cookies.

While I really do enjoy the Golden Double Stuf Oreos, I still prefer the chocolate Oreos over them, which proves once again, “Once you go black, you’ll never go back” or “Once you go golden, you’ll keep your options open.”

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 150 calories, 7 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 3 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 80 milligrams of sodium, 10 milligrams of potassium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, less than 1 gram of protein and 2% iron.)

(NOTE: AVN stands for Adult Video News.)

Item: Golden Double Stuf Oreo
Price: $3.00 (on sale)
Size: 1 pound 1 ounce
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Great vanilla flavor. Cream filling enhances the vanilla flavor. More cream filling than regular Oreos. My awesome cross-promotion skillz. The easy-to-open resealable packaging. The term “double stuf” to replace “double penetration.”
Cons: Not as good as regular Oreo cookies. Not as good as regular Oreos to dip in milk. High fructose corn syrup. 150 calories for ONLY two cookies. Ruining childhood stories with porn versions of them. The term “double penetration.”

21 thoughts on “REVIEW: Golden Double Stuf Oreo

  1. 150 cals and 7 grams of fat for two cookies?

    No wonder all those nights of having the munchies seems to have weighed on my hips…

  2. Golden Oreo doublestuff has to refer to two white guys in on the action though. You have to be accurate in advertising.

    On a more serious note, I love vanilla sandwich cookies and am grateful that I can’t get these in Japan. My thighs are safer that way.

  3. All I can say is wow! Marvo you’re on a roll this week. I don’t think that I will ever look at Double Stuffed the same way again. Lol. So what are you going to say with the Golden Oreos with the chocolate creme?

    I’ve never had these, I need some kind of chocolate in my sweets (unless it is peanut butter).

  4. LMAO, jeez Marvo, you really seem to like adding porn references in some of your reviews but this review takes the cake, the hell is wrong with you lol you crack me up.

  5. Boo vanilla oreos Boo! not no way not no how, I’m sorry but not everything needs to be doublestuff, how come oreo can’t just make their classic plain old oreo taste better (use real sugar) I mean C’mon guys!

  6. @Alisha: Yup, that is the power of Oreos.

    @Orchid64: You’re absolutely correct. Although, if you want to be even more accurate, two vikings.

    @Erin Brooks: I’ll leave that to your imagination. ๐Ÿ™‚

    @Chuck: Honestly, I tried. But then I decided to just stick with one genre.

    @NobleArc, The Lazy Canadian: I’m sure a lot of readers love singing Puff the Magic Dragon, but probably not anymore after this review.

    @Raymond: I once did a review that was made up of mostly porn titles. I think 80% of it was porn titles.

    @Sass: This one was fun to write. Now go eat a cookie.

    @Justin H: I eat four of these in one sitting. That like a frickin Big Mac.

    @Lil’ C: It would be more expensive if they used real sugar and I would buy them more often.

    @yawnie: The porn industry can handle it.

    @FatYoli: Then they wouldn’t be Oreos, they’d be chocolate cookies.

    @Jim: Mint Oreos are good.

    @Lex: Sexay!

  7. Double stuff. Awesome.
    And you stayed classy and didn’t turn it all racial …The “golden” cookies on the outside and the “white” in-between.
    Or was it too obvious?
    Either way, I need a cold shower.

  8. Why don’t they just make container of “Jus’ Stuf”. Although the cookie enhances the cream filling taste Nabisco should give people what they really want – that decadent cream filling. One can spread it on just about anything they want. Imagine eating a sandwich made of Stuf between two slices of soft, white bread.

  9. Ive eaten the vanilla Oreos for months and loved them up until recently. The quality has been really poor the cookies have been crumbly with an after taste ,just wandering if anyone else experienced the same thing. Please give feed back .

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