REVIEW: Glacéau VitaminWater Zero Drive & VitaminWater Zero Glow

Written by | March 23, 2011

Topics: 5 Rating, 7 Rating, Glaceau, Vitamin Water, Water

VitaminWater Zero Drive and Glow

Ugh. I don’t know whether my bladder and mind can take drinking anymore VitaminWater flavors.

Because of my excessive VitaminWater consumption, I’ve been having dreams that involve me standing at a public restroom urinal and peeing a rainbow. Standing at the urinal next to me is the Double Rainbow guy, who’s also peeing a rainbow. Because there isn’t a divider between the urinals, we stare at each other’s rainbow and then we look into each other’s eyes and simultaneously say, “Cross the streams.”

I scoot over a little bit at my urinal to make room for him, and without stopping his rainbow, he moves over to my urinal, spraying some of his rainbow onto the floor. When we both end up peeing into the same urinal, we cross our streams and he says the six words that made him famous, “Whoa. Double rainbow all the way.” I jump up and down with glee, causing me to spray some of my rainbow on the floor, wall, and on the Double Rainbow guy, who, after this happens, pulls out his iPhone and enters a new definition for the term “rainbow showers” into Urban Dictionary.

Then Dr. Egon Spengler busts into the restroom and tells us to not cross streams, but we continue to do so, and as a result, we’re all sent to an alternate universe where there’s no color. Then, the Kool-Aid man breaks through a brick wall and yells the two words that made him famous, “Oh yeah!” He’s followed by Bob Ross who also says, “Oh yeah” but more calmly. Then, Bob Ross uses his magical brushes and paint palette to bring color to the alternate universe, saving the day.

Then, I wake up and go take a leak, which is, sadly, just one color.

The rainbow’s colors differ in my dreams, and depend on which VitaminWater flavors I’ve recently guzzled. The rainbow was primarily orange and pink in my latest dream, because of my consumption of the new VitaminWater Zero Drive and VitaminWater Zero Glow.

VitaminWater Zero Drive, which is blood orange and mixed berry flavored, gets its name because it has natural caffeine and yerba mate, which should give drinkers the “drive” to do something ambitious, but will mostly be used to keep people awake at work or school. A bottle contains 75 milligrams of caffeine, which is slightly less than a skinny can of Red Bull, and significantly less than what caffeine junkies would need to prevent withdrawals.

Drive has an aroma that reminds me of an orange popsicle. Its flavor starts off orange and ends with berry. However, I’ve had blood oranges, and I wouldn’t describe the orange flavor Drive has as blood orange. Instead, I’d consider it just plain orange. Overall, I think for a VitaminWater Zero flavor, it’s good and I’d probably buy it again.

As for the strawberry and guanabana flavored VitaminWater Zero Glow, it contains biotin and vitamins A, C, and E, which are supposed to help support and maintain healthy skin, hair, and nails. So just like movies starring Meryl Streep, it sounds as if it’s meant for women. It has a tropical scent, which I thought was kind of strange until I did some research and found out guanabana has a flavor that, according to Wikipedia, “has been described as a combination of strawberry and pineapple with sour citrus flavor notes contrasting with an underlying creamy flavor reminiscent of coconut or banana.”

I could definitely taste the strawberry and a little bit of citrus in this VitaminWater, but overall I think its flavor tastes like what I imagine the color pink would taste like, if one could taste colors or if shredded Hello Kitty sandwiches existed. VitaminWater Zero Glow has an artificial sweetener aftertaste that I’ve had with beverages containing sucralose or aspartame, but it doesn’t contain either of them. Overall, I think it’s a decent VitaminWater flavor, but I’m skeptical the biotin and vitamins it contain will help one’s looks, unless you drink a bottle regularly.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to pee.

(Nutrition Facts – 8 ounces – VitaminWater Zero Drive – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 1 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 100% vitamin C, 40% vitamin B6, 40% vitamin B5, 40% vitamin B3, and 40% vitamin B12. VitaminWater Zero Glow – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 1 gram of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 20% vitamin A, 20% vitamin E, 40% vitamin B6, 20% biotin, 40% vitamin C, 40% vitamin B3, 40% vitamin B12, 40% vitamin B5 and 10% zinc.)

Other VitaminWater Zero Drive and Glow reviews:
Foodette Reviews
Drink What

Item: Glacéau VitaminWater Zero Drive & VitaminWater Zero Glow
Price: $1.27
Size: 20 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Drive)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Glow)
Pros: Drive is tasty, contains sweet, sweet caffeine, and is an excellent source of vitamin C. Zero calories. Glow has a decent strawberry/citrus flavor. Peeing rainbows. Both are good sources of B vitamins. Bob Ross bringing color to my dream.
Cons: Peeing rainbows. Glow probably isn’t effective if not consumed on a regular basis. Drive’s orange flavor doesn’t taste like blood orange. Glow also has an artificial sweetener aftertaste. Shredded Hello Kitty sandwiches. Having dreams of sharing a urinal with someone else. Crossing the streams. Waiting for Ghostbusters 3.






10 Comments For This Post I'd Love to Hear Yours!

  1. Chuck says:

    Perhaps there are drugs you can buy that will enable you to pee in different colors. I think you’d be limited to one color at a time though.

  2. Anthony says:

    The product claims to have zero calories but the nutritional info lists 1 gram of carbs per 8 ounces
    I gram of Carbs equals 4 calories.
    That’s 10 calories per 20 ounce container not zero as they claim.
    The xxx flavor has 4 grams of carbs, 64 calories per 32 oz.yet they still claim zero.
    They are deliberately trying to deceive, I will not buy this product.

  3. Emily says:

    I have a bottle of Vitamin Water Zero Glow sitting at my desk right now. It’s been there for five days, waiting for me to throw it away. The whole concoction tastes like fruit-flavored chalk. Never again, thank you. If you’re looking to give your hair, skin and nails a boost, I would recommend GNC Women’s Hair, Skin & Nails Formula. Two little pills contain 100% of your daily intake of Vitamins A & E and 1,000% of your biotin, as opposed to the Vitamin Water which contains only 40% of your A & E and 40% of your biotin. You’re going to have to drink A LOT of Vitamin Water if you want it to have a positive effect and for the same amount of nutrients, the pills (which are pretty cheap to begin with) end up being much more cost effective… not to mention they don’t taste like garbage.

  4. Julia says:

    For the past week and a half i have been drinking Vitamin Water Glow , just 2 a day. This drink tastes great and have had pretty good results in the complexion of my face, a little improvement in hair (it seems it is not as dry) as well have not really seen much improvement in the nails, (healthy to begin with)… I give it a thumbs up!!!!

  5. Dulcie says:

    I tried Vitamin Water Drive. It was disgustingly nasty. It had a similar taste to medicine and I made the same face drinking this as I would cough syrup. It was this hybrid flavor of bitter and sour coffee-orange. Do not waste your money.

  6. natalie says:

    been dragging all evening at work – on dinner stopped @ Target to get some food. picked up Vitamin water zero Drive… drank about half of it, tasted okay, i usually drink water but felt like something else, so , with a masters in nutrition education and knowing better, i thought, hell with it, ill try it. i ended up, here, on line at 3 am , since i didnt realize there was that much caffeine in this drink! dont be fooled by the vitamins, they are most likely not going to be completely absorbed like the true vitamins you get when you actually eat food. stevia is the main sweetener and still controversial. but it did get me through my shift at work and for a while, i was much chattier than usual! id use it if i had to drive somewhere long, or had to stay awake, i dont think it’s as bad as some of the other sugar free caffeinatd drinks, and it does say a gm of carbohydrates, which really is 4 cals. so not sure how they are touting it’s 0 cals. not a big deal either way, im going to try and get some sleep now. if you want to, go moderate, never overdo, and it’s always better to just drink pure h20. honestly, though , the taste was less than wonderful but the effect from the caffeine might be good if you’re taking the gre’s , which i am next thursday, and now, im damn sure going to down one of these drinks to keep on my toes through the test…

  7. ask230 says:

    VITAMIN WATER DRIVE was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever tasted. It has a nasty after taste that’s like a cross between some gnarly medicine and petrol. It made me want to vomit. Absolutely gross. Do not waste money on this.

  8. Kat says:

    I stayed out late last night and might have had one too many drinks. On my way into the office this morning I stopped for a muffin and a beverage to help get me back on my feet. I couldn’t decide between a Coke zero and a Vitamin Water. I went with a Vitamin Water figuring it would rehydrate me better. I grabbed the Drive zero on a whim not knowing what it’s magic vitamin powers were supposed to be but figured “drive” couldn’t be too far off from what I needed. I didn’t realize it was caffeinated until I opened it. It also contains B vitamins (b3, b5, b6, b12) to help boost your energy too. It worked out that the caffeine could only help me this morning. But if I had grabbed this one night on my way home and didn’t read the label fully, I’d be a little annoyed.
    It turned out that this was a good option for me this morning, but the flavor is pretty bad. I chalk that up to the coffee and yerba mate extract in it.
    Overall I might drink it again for a hang-over in the morning, but never for the taste.

  9. nobody says:

    All the “zero”s taste have the artificial sweetener aftertaste. The 4 grams of carbs are supposedly classified as carbs, but totally unusable by the body (which is why the zero calorie designation). Of course it also shows that some of it is absorbed into the blood stream and found in cell tissue. Consider that any compound that your cells try to use and fail can cause long term issues. Even though those issues cannot immediately be identified, or proven to be attributed to the compound.



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