PRIZE DRAWING: Because Sharing Is Caring and I’m Not Going To Eat Three Candwiches Before May 26, 2012

Candwich Innards

In order to get my hands on the Peanut Butter and Grape Jelly Candwich, I had to purchase it online and in a pack of four. Since I needed only one Candwich in order to review it, I’m stuck left with three unopened cans.

I thought about what could I do with those three Candwich cans which have May 26, 2012 expiration date. I thought about doing something honorable and donating them to a food bank. I thought about throwing one into the ocean and letting the currents take it on a journey across the Pacific Ocean and hopefully ending up in the hands of someone in Mexico. But, instead I decided to give them away via a prize drawing and let three randomly chosen Impulsive Buy readers experience the wonder and not-so-delight of the Candwich.

To enter The Impulsive Buy’s Can I Get A Candwich Drawing, leave a comment with THIS post. I don’t really care what you say in your comment, but it would be cool if you used your favorite portmanteau in it.

Please don’t forget to fill out the email field because I’ll be emailing the winners for their mailing addresses. The Impulsive Buy will stop accepting entries on Sunday, August 7, 2011 11:59 p.m. Hawaii Standard Time. Only one entry allowed per person, and it’s open to everyone who’s 18 years old or older.

Good luck!

Fine Print: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you emails in the following languages: Japanese, Chinese, Spanish, and gibberish. The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you weekly takeout menus. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail, damaged mail, or your fear of the Candwich.

106 thoughts to “PRIZE DRAWING: Because Sharing Is Caring and I’m Not Going To Eat Three Candwiches Before May 26, 2012”

  1. oh my god i want this ! i love pb i gotta try this….i wonder what i can do with the can after!

  2. Ooh, candwich. It’ll probably travel well and maybe even double as a weapon in case of zombie attack.

  3. I would so eat one of these for brunch! Although I may have to rent a motel room to hide my shame.

  4. Uck, it looks disgusting. Nor was your review very inspiring. Ah well, I am always on the lookout for preparing myself for the imminent zompocalyspe.

    SIGN ME UP; I’M GONNA PUT THIS IN MY MOUTH!

  5. You guys use the word GOOD, as in “good until May 26, 2012”, open (get it, can – open) to a rather loosey-goosey interpretation, don’t ya?

  6. I think some of ya’ll are bug fat liars! 🙂
    Sorry, it had to be said. I guess (hope) I’m NOT getting picked.

  7. i’d have to be pretty damn hangry to eat this.
    the good news: i regularly bypass hungry and go straight to hangry. BRING ON THE CANDWICH!

  8. Nothing says “Back to School” like a candwich! My kid will be the coolest kid in school!!!

  9. I am fascinated, and yet repelled at the thought of a tasteless PB&J on an oversized weenie bun… sounds like the perfect brunch … well, ok, mebbe not… the canwich of DOOM. 😉

  10. I love shelf stable food. I enjoy MREs, various, well any, forms of canned meat, hormel compleats, etc. They just facinate me. I look forward to trying these out. If I could get my hands on that hamburger-in-a-can I’d try that too!

  11. I would love to win this and give it a whirl. I have had my fair share of MREs so my stomach can handle it.

  12. This would be a great gift for my brother, who’s birthday is the 14th! Perfect timing.

    Oh, and a pormanteau? Kentacohut, a restaurant that is a Kentucky Fried Chicken, Taco Bell, and Pizza Hut all in one location.

  13. Pleeease I want to win, eating this thing will give me and my hubby total nerdgasms. I swear I’ll sing peanut butter jelly time while we eat it.

  14. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, canned sandwich….wouldn’t it be epic if they made a manwich candwich? Dear god, say that 5 times fast!

  15. It was with a kind of horrified fascination that I recently learned of the existence of the Cherpumple.

    http://www.seriouseats.com/2009/12/video-how-to-make-a-cherpumple-the-monster-pie-cake-charles-phoenix.html

    This thing should not exist. Much like the Candwich, it is an affront to the very laws of nature.

    And yet… this monstrosity looks seriously delicious.

    Damn it! What evil force has stolen my soul? I MUST BAKE A CHERPUMPLE.

    (Oh… and I want a Candwich too.)

  16. Give me an Elvis pb and banana fried
    Even as a Tenneseean I can say it is nothing I haven’t tried
    Or Jelly with cream cheese an old sick day fave
    But when I feel healthy its nothing that makes me rave
    But a PB&J that can last through a nuclear holocaust
    That is the type of yum that just can’t be easily bought
    So as a cold war (late) child and one who appreciates all things in a can
    Winning this would be better than green eggs and spam!

  17. Clueful is mine, I use it all the time. “portmanteau of clue and full and used as the opposite of clueless”

    And mmm, canwich!

  18. I have to listen to 2 old ladies yammer away all day. Their voices make me want to stab myself in my ears with a spork.

  19. please let me win a candwich! i even made up a new portmanteau for how it will make me feel to have one! frawsome! which is FREAKIN AWESOME!!! (and then probably not so good after i eat it) please please send me a candwich!

  20. Connectitude. Transformatation. Linkativity.

    These are the words that the inventors of the canwich pitched in the R&D meetings. And by R&D meetings I mean coke binges in the Applebee’s bathrooms followed by Jag ‘n’ Bull bombers. Up the nose and down the hatch.

  21. I will show my true colors as a child of the ’80s and say that Candwich looks BODACIOUS!!!

    I’d be game for having a Candwich for brunch any day. Or not. Putting it in my emergency survival bin would be a more likely move. After all, if the world is ending, I could at least try to fend off the zombies or aliens (or alien zombies?!) with it, right?

    Alas, I’d likely cave to curiosity (despite knowing what it did to that cat…) and taste test it before the arrival of dooms day. And, in the spirit of all that I love about theimpulsivebuy, I would of course eagerly share my reactions. But, I suspect the Candwich would render me only capable of expressing my (dis)pleasure using barely audible grunts and – through the wonders of technology – pokemon-esque emoticons…

    Oh…EMOTICONS! One of the many portmanteaus I love to hate to love!!! To that end, I leave you with a mini-emoticomic (one part dramedy and two parts mockumentary?)of my (hopeful) adventures with Candwich and the start of the zombie apocolypse…

    “Did he just say ‘Candwich’?!!” Dare I ask, WTF that is?”

    <(o_0<) "Eeep! Ohhh…"

    <(ò_ó<) "My beloved PB&J, what have they done to you?!"

    <('.'<) "Actually…hrmm…I wonder… That could just be so ridiculous that it's borderline brilliant! Would love to get my s on one to try!”

    “Oh..Am I really that (un)lucky to have been picked?! Wahoo!”

    (>.’_’)>O “Maybe, I’m not brave enough for this. Mayhaps my dear lil’ Candwich would be better off in the hands of another shmuck…errr… friend! Better yet, I’ll save you for the end of the world, when I’m realllly desperate.”

    (_8^(|) “Wait!!! At times like this, one should always ask, ‘WW(Homer)JD?'”

    \(^_^)/ “In the famous words of Homer, ‘I know I shouldn’t eat thee, but — [CHOMP] Mmm, SACRILICIOUS!’ ”

    “I hella heart you Candwich!”

    ヘ(@_@ヘ) “Mmmm…Must find MOARRR!!!!”

  22. god i dont know if i should eat this it might make me shart*. Guess no other way of finding out! Pick me!

    shart = s#!t and a fart

  23. I’d combine all the ingredients in the can into a giant blob and eat them with a spork if I win this contest.

  24. I just want the Laffy Taffy. I’m already eating generic peanut butter and jelly. I just don’t have an extra dime for a Laffy Taffy.

  25. Marge: It’s called a smapron!
    Homer: Did you say smockron?!
    Marge: No, smapron!

    At last! A portable way to enjoy PB&J’s and I don’t even need a smapron!

  26. It’s amazing they can fit a whole sandwich in a can and keep it fresh… oh wait, I forgot about the hundreds of preservatives added to it =D

  27. I really, really want to try these Candwiches. My family members would be in awe and everyone would want a bite. It would really be an exciting family experience.

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