Terra Potpourri Potato Chips

Terra Potpourri

I first heard about Terra potato chips during the Food Network show Unwrapped, which I only watch for the commercials, so I can see network promos with that babe Rachael Ray.

Recently, Impulsive Buy reader Janet emailed me to find out what I thought of Terra potato chips. Unfortunately, I’ve never had them before.

So I decided that my new goal in life was to try Terra potato chips. Of course, I started on that goal after I was done watching a one-hour block of Rachael Ray shows and blew out the candles to my Rachael Ray shrine.

When I went to go look for them, I couldn’t find them in any of the usual places I shop, like the national grocery store chain, the locally-owned grocery store chain, the national convenience store chain down the street, the international superstore behemoth, the other locally-owned grocery store chain that losing business to the international superstore behemoth, and the convenience store at the corner that sells tobacco, alcohol, and Playboy to minors.

Since I was disappointed I couldn’t find any Terra chips, I decided to drink away another one of my failures with a Slurpee. Little did I know that my Slurpee run would lead me to discover the answer to my problem.

As I walked out of the convenience store, sucking on a Mountain Dew Slurpee, I looked up and stared at the natural foods store across the street.

Suddenly, a lightbulb turned on in my head and I realized the natural foods store would probably carry Terra potato chips. After all, there aren’t many words that sound more natural than “Terra.”

However, the bright lightbulb suddenly shattered as I realized I had to actually go into a natural foods store. This bothered me because I’m scared of the people who shop and work at natural food stores.

Why? I’ll give you a couple of examples.

I usually have to pass the natural foods store whenever I want to go to my favorite Chinese restaurant. When I do, I notice that some of the people who go into the store are people who like EVERYTHING all-natural, including body odor, which doesn’t smell good in areas with 80 percent humidity.

Another example involved my friend, when she was checking out at another natural foods store. When my friend pulled out her leather Coach wallet to pay for her natural groceries, she was suddenly interrogated by the cashier.

“Is that leather?” the cashier asked in a holier-than-thou tone.

“Yes, it is,” my friend replied.

“Really…” the cashier said and then followed that with a rant about how inhumane cows are treated and why my friend should have a hemp wallet instead.

My friend was so traumatized by the experience that she hasn’t stepped into a natural foods store or eaten tofu since.

Oh crap, this review is getting long. Okay, long story short.

Went into the natural foods store, passed by a smelly “all-natural” person, noticed the store had Terra chips, picked up a bag of Terra Potpourri, waited in line behind previously mentioned “all-natural” smelly person, held my breath, paid for Terra chips, walked out of natural foods store, and then took many deep breaths of fresh, clean air.

When I got home, I opened the bag and saw the most beautiful potato chips I had ever seen. It was a radiant potpourri of orange sweet potato chips, yellow Yukon Gold potato chips, Terra Blues potato chips, Huckleberry Red and Red Thumb potato chips.

They were not only beautiful and colorful, they were also damn tasty. They were probably the best potato chips I’ve ever had and if you’ve seen my gut, you’d know I’ve eaten a lot of potato chips in my lifetime.

If the Terra Potpourri potato chips were cheaper than the $3.39 for a small five-ounce bag, I would brave the smelly folks at the natural foods store every other day to buy more.

Item: Terra Potpourri Potato Chips
Purchase Price: $3.39
Rating: 4 out of 5
Pros: Damn tasty! Addictive. Thick potato chips. Colorful and beautiful, like rolling fields of tulips and roses below clear blue sky on a breezy Spring day.
Cons: Bag is kind of small. Pricey for small bag. Really shiny bags. Might face “all-natural” folks at natural foods store.

13 thoughts to “Terra Potpourri Potato Chips”

  1. $3.39 for a 5 oz bag? You mentioned addictive? Are you sure there isn’t a South American Cartel involved?

  2. Haha.
    Yeah those chips are tasty but I too was disappointed by the size of the bag and that it isn’t even filled completely. Ah well.

  3. themeatdoctor – Come on, everyone knows 5 ounces of Colombian Gold is waaay more than $3.39.

    Busy Mom – Are you stalking me? Again?

    akiko – I went there but I didn’t see any.

    Joe – I guess they can call Terra chips, “gourmet” due to the serving size and price.

    David – Tell me about it. I’m trying right now to prevent myself from walking over to the natural foods store to pick up another bag.

  4. Mountain Dew slurpee? Mmm…. that sounds great.

    I wonder if I can find those chips somewhere around here besides a natural food store. I mean my whole purse is made of leather.

  5. laanba – My 7-11 currently has three different Mountain Dew Slurpee flavors (regular, Red Code, and Blue Shock). As for going into a natural foods store, I’d just pull out the money you need and leave the wallet at home or get a money clip.

  6. Jenny – I’m now their bitch too.

    Master Foley – Must find that issue of FHM. Must find that issue of FHM. Drool.

  7. I absolutely adore all types of Terra chips! Especially the blue ones. I haven’t had the potpourri though because I normally just buy either the blue or the taro. I love eating the blue in front of my mother, who thinks they are the most disgusting looking things on earth!

  8. Sapphire – Yeah, the blue ones are pretty good. I have yet to try the taro chips, but I’ll try them if I get the courage to go back to the natural foods store.

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