Subway Club Salad

Subway Club Salad

(Editor’s Note: Welcome to Day Four of Salad Week here at The Impulsive Buy. Thank goodness the week is almost done, because my body has been acting strange with all of these vegetables. I actually had green poop yesterday. Anyway, here’s today’s review. Enjoy.)

Subway is known for making their sandwiches fresh, turning Jared Fogle into a celebrity, and giving adolescent boys another opportunity to snicker when they hear the words “foot long.”

They are also known for their Sandwich Artists, which we all know is just a nice term for “the person behind the counter.” Armed with fresh baked bread, fresh ingredients, disposable gloves, a bread knife, and possibly, tender loving care, Sandwich Artists will create your sandwich they way you like it.

However, I wasn’t in Subway for a sandwich, I was there for a salad.

I ordered a Subway Club Salad, which according to the Subway website, was supposed to contain roast beef, turkey breast, ham, chopped iceberg lettuce, baby spinach, red onions, tomatoes, cucumber slices, green pepper strips, black olive slices, and carrots.

However, the Subway Sandwich Artist apparently was also a Subway Salad Artist and instead of automatically putting in the ingredients listed on the website, she asked me what kind of vegetables I wanted. At first, I was surprised by this, but I eventually began to go down the list: Lettuce, tomatoes, onions, olives, etc.

The same vegetables they use in the sandwiches are the same ones used in the salad. Unfortunately, they didn’t have baby spinach. As for the roast beef, turkey, and ham, the slices were just slapped on top of the vegetables.

Now I don’t know if my Subway Salad Artist was going for an abstract look with my salad, but it did have it with the round tomato slices and the oblong slices of meat. I wondered if she was trying to create a harmonious arrangement of colors representing life with the salad, or if she was trying to say, “I hate my job as a Subway Sandwich/Salad Artist.”

After my Subway Salad Artist was done, I quickly realized I had just ordered a six-inch Subway sandwich without a bun, or “Atkins style” for you low-carb folks. Oh yeah, speaking of Atkins, I ended getting the Atkins Honey Mustard Dressing to put on top of my salad.

So basically, this salad was a six-inch Subway sandwich, without the bun, and it was the same price as a foot long sandwich. Heh, heh, heh…Foot long.

I felt ripped off.

Eating the salad made me feel even worse. There was way too much iceberg lettuce, which again, has even less nutritional value than David Blaine has magical powers. Also, the salad dressing had that typical Atkins taste, and I use the term “taste” loosely.

I think I’ll just stick to Subway sandwiches from now on.

Item: Subway Club Salad
Purchase Price: $5.89
Rating: 2 out of 5
Pros: Made fresh. Made your way.
Cons: Very pricey. Too much iceberg lettuce. High-sodium. Atkins Honey Mustard Dressing was weak.

37 thoughts to “Subway Club Salad”

  1. wow… like everyone else the first thing I thought when I saw that was “they just took the bread away and put it in a bowl.” Too bad you didn’t even like the dressing though… honey mustard is my favorite! (Never tried the Atkin’s kind though)

  2. My stomach is turning just LOOKING at the meat blobs in that photo. YIKES! I applaud you for eating it!!

  3. Jay Nickola – One of those pictures make me gag. Guess which one?

    Kent Tell – Really? Oh man, that was one of the reasons why I went to Subway. Well I guess it’s off to Blimpy Subs from now on.

    HIM – You know what would be funny? If you gave it to some random old lady and that old lady threw it at another random old lady.

    Lorien – I like Honey Mustard too, but too bad they decided to use an Atkins-ize version of it. Here’s my theory with Dr. Atkins: He didn’t die. He faked his death like Elvis did. He’s enjoying the money he’s making from this low-carb fad somewhere in the Cayman Islands so he doesn’t have to pay taxes.

    nat – Your comment got me thinking what if the blobs of meat were corned beef, ground beef, and turkey spam. I wonder how that would taste?

    macOtto – You’re not back yet?

    akiko – You’re being sarcastic, right?

  4. I seriously cannot believe that picture. I thought it was a joke at first! The very least they could do is have bite-sized pieces of meat. Hell, you have to CUT INTO your SALAD to eat it. How absurd!

    Surely this is a sign that the sky is falling. 😮

  5. Eating vegetables doesn’t cause green doo. :: looks in toilet :: Being an anemic vegetarian will give you an almost beige color, though. Damn you, lack of iron!

  6. oops noticed something happen to my post when i added the linkthe last word in the previous post should be catsup. the link is: probably won’t come up as a clickable link though since it doesn’t start as a www.

  7. Dude, if you want a worthwhile salad from a sub place, Quiznos is the only way to go. They run the meat and cheese through the little toaster deal so they’re all warm and melty on top of the salad and it is SO good. That creepy baby in there commercials is not cool though. So it’s kind of a toss up.

  8. Leila Katherine Thomas – Or it’s a sign that my Salad Artist was lazy.

    TheInfamousJ – Maybe I need to chew my food better.

    Webmiztris – I wish I had big slabs of meat that look difficult to eat.

    Kent Tell – I noticed that catsup isn’t as common as it was growing up. Oh well, thanks for the link.

    Genny from the Burbs – Mmm…Toasty. I’ve never been to Quiznos in my life and there’s one down the street. I shall venture there someday.

  9. You really should Marvo. While they lack sandwich artists, the sandwiches themselves are high quality delicious.

  10. That Subway salad has got to be one of the grossest salads I’ve ever seen in my life, and I LIKE eating their sandwiches! My first thought was, “Why the hell are the whole giant slices of meat on top of the veggies? Weird.”

    You MUST go to Quizno’s. I recommend the Black Angus beef sandwich. If your Quiznos is not in a ghetto area, most likely they won’t be chintzy with the beef slices and give you nice, thick slices of beef with melty cheese on top, all in a toasty, crusty bun. It’s so expensive but so gooooood.

  11. Ken – I definitely will.

    Toni – Wow. A lot of people seem to like Quizno’s. I only liked them for their Spongmonkey commercials.

  12. As a subway sandwich artist i must say that that salad was incredibly sad, but don’t bitch about it, tell it to the owner, manager or artist, believe me, its helps them train better.

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