Lay’s Dill Pickle Stax

Dill Pickle Stax

How many of you have wondered what would happen if you licked Yoda?

No one?

Okay. Okay. How many of you have wondered what would happen if you licked Yoda, in either a drunken or high state while watching Attack of the Clones, because that’s the only way you could tolerate the bad acting?

After this wonderful nugget of a question popped into my head, an avalanche of questions began rolling in my mind.

Would I get the same psychedelic feeling that people get from licking a toad?

Would I gain Jedi powers?

Would warts form on my tongue?

Would Yoda get turned on, light up his “other lightsaber,” and say “Long time, me love you?”

Also, what does Yoda taste like?

Well thanks to Lay’s Dill Pickle Stax potato crisps, I now know the answer to one of those questions. Apparently, Yoda tastes like dill pickles. However, this surprised me because I thought he would either taste like the swamp water of Dagobah or Bengay.

What also surprised me was the fact that the Lay’s Dill Pickle Stax potato crisps are actually good, if you like dill pickles.

It doesn’t have a very strong taste like eating an actual dill pickle, but I think it would make a great replacement in your sandwich. Just crush a few of them and sprinkle a layer on your sandwich. Mmm…Yahtzee!

Poor Yoda. From his look on the Lay’s Dill Pickle Stax container, I can tell he doesn’t look too happy that his dill pickle secret is out.

Unfortunately, as all celebrities find out, having no privacy and having your secrets being told is the price for fame. Look at Natalie Portman. There are topless photos of her all over the internet, real and fake.

Although, as O.J. Simpson and Robert Blake found out, a small benefit of being a celebrity is being able to get away with murder.

I’m surprised Yoda didn’t sense this invasion of privacy coming. Oh wait, that’s right. Fame is a part of the Dark Side. “Hard to see the future is. Cloudy is the dark side.”

Well I’m not ashamed of my unibrow, so Yoda shouldn’t be ashamed that he tastes like dill pickles, because it could’ve been worse. He could’ve tasted like cigarettes, alcohol, heroin, and bitch, like Courtney Love does.

Item: Lay’s Dill Pickle Stax
Purchase Price: $1.50 (on sale)
Rating: 3.5 out of 5
Pros: Surprisingly good. Yoda doesn’t taste like the swamp water of Dagobah or Bengay.
Cons: Limited edition. Thoughts of Yoda’s “other lightsaber.” The price of fame.

25 thoughts to “Lay’s Dill Pickle Stax”

  1. i haven’t thought of licking yoda. honest.
    however, i did think that he’d taste different from dill pickles.
    branston pickles maybe. not dill.

  2. Courtney love was in a movie where she played a drug addict at first I’m like “hey she’s a pretty good actress” then I said “wait a second she’s not acting.
    Are you doing a week of testing on products that have star war promos on them? How about dark chocolate m&m’s

  3. I admit I’ve never seen dill pickle flavored chips. I wonder if whoever came up with the idea had been licking a little Yoda at the time, if you know what I mean.

  4. Maybe that would be a good name for a punk rock band…”Licking Yoda” or “The Yoda Lickers”.

  5. Lay’s makes regular chips in the dill pickle flavor too. They are also tasty. Those just have a drawing of pickles on the bag though, no Yoda.

  6. As far as “The Yoda Lickers” goes, I once named a band in a story I wrote “The Hamster Lickers”. Just seemed similar. Anyway, I’m not a huge chip fan, but I do like pickles, so I may have to try these.

  7. I have tried these chips a while ago when they first came out and I liked them even though I hate real pickles. After that one taste I have never found them again I am happy they are still out there my quest will continue! Yahtzee!!!!! BTW is every company hopping on the Star Wars band wagon?

  8. You sick child…

    But, I must admit, that is a very good question.

    Thanks though…. I am now officially unabel to watch any movie with Yoda in it without thinking of pickles….. ^^

  9. Hmm, I may have to go look for them. Do they sort of taste like salt n vinegar chips? Cause I dig those…

    Re: Star Wars product tie-ins. I am still waiting for Cinnabons to do a promotion featuring Princess Leia one of these days…

  10. SEV – Maybe in different countries he tastes different.

    Kent Tell – As you know, there are soooo many Star Wars related products. In fact, I could probably do several months worth of reviews on just Star Wars promotional products, but that would be pretty boring because the Yoda jokes only go so far. So doing a week straight of them might be hard. As for the dark chocolate M&M’s, I’ve been looking for them for weeks. Several people have asked that I review them, but I haven’t been able to find any, except for the peanut version. But I would really like to do the plain dark chocolate M&M’s.

    Bottom Feeder – More like smoking a little Yoda. 🙂

    Chuck – I think Lucas would get upset, demand money, and be allowed to write the songs.

    macOtto – It’s bitter. Very bitter.

    Peggasus – I haven’t seen the regular Lay’s dill pickle chips. I wonder if it’s just a regional thing.

    Genny from the Burbs – The Hamster Lickers? It sounds European.

  11. Lucy – I’m sure he licks himself from time to time.

    Mellie Helen – Don’t knock it until you try it.

    Lelia Katherine Thomas – Never heard of Golden Flake. I don’t think we get those here on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

    Becky – I don’t think any condom companies have, but I could imagine some company coming up with Lightsaber Condoms.

    ~Moi~ – I prefer “sick bastard.”

    Bryan – Oddly, I really don’t like salt and vinegar chips, they make me gag. However, I think you’d enjoy these. As for the Cinnabons promotion with Princess Leia, I’m surprised they haven’t done it yet.

    akwok – Yes, I’ve decided to turn The Impulsive Buy into a weird food fetish site.

  12. Bryan – The Cinnabon idea is worth trying to sell to them. That is a really great idea. Maybe they could make cinnabon hats, like they have beer hats?

  13. TheInfamousJ – hey, yeah.. I think they would make a killing. I have heard urban legends of girls clipping real danishes to their hair for Halloween, but I don’t think they have mass produced anything. That goes in my list of things to do before I die… =)

  14. Shellubra – You’re welcome. I hope that coffee didn’t land on anything important.

    Amy in GA – Ooh, possible hair ball. Blech!

  15. Isn’t it weird that chips now come in tennis ball containers. But why was it so important to keep those balls fresh and sealed. Curious I did like the smell though when you opened a fresh batch of balls. Never thaught I’d say such things about balls. I did like the chips though.

  16. The Hammer – Oh, that new tennis ball smell. Mmm… No wonder I sucked at tennis, I was too high from the new tennis ball smell.

  17. if yoda tastes differ in differentplaces then we may as well have different people flavors…like caitlin flavor or marvo flavor
    mmmm marvo….

    hey not in a cannibalistic way….just how everyone smells different and everyone tastes different ya know? i suppose in a more sexual way…

  18. caitlin – Just to let you know, Marvo flavor tastes like peanut butter, vodka, and hair.

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