REVIEW: Boca Chunky Tomato & Herb Lasagna

Have your parents ever tricked you to eat something you didn’t like?

Mine did and that something was liver.

On that fateful day, I knew something was up because I could smell the stench of deceit from my room. It smelled like rotting meat.

I asked my parents what they were cooking for dinner. They told me it was steak. I knew it wasn’t. They told me to eat it. I didn’t want to. They continued to tell me it was steak. I still didn’t believe them. They told me they cooked the steak a different way. I kind of believed them. They told me to try it. I did. They asked me how it was. I spit it out on to my plate to prevent me from throwing up. They told me to put on some ketchup. I knew it wasn’t going to help. They ate it for me. I ate cereal.

Of course, things could’ve been worse. If they tried to make me drink coconut milk by telling me it was regular milk AND feed me peas by telling me they were green Sixlets, that would’ve been the terrible tasting torture trifecta.

From that moment on, everything I thought and believed came crashing down around me.

I soon discovered my parents were Santa, putting the toys into my Christmas stocking. Then I realized my parents were the Tooth Fairy, putting quarters under my pillow. Then I found out that wearing Underoos in the fifth grade was not cool. Then I discovered that knowing New Kids on the Block dance moves did not make me a good dancer.

Oh, if only they had the Boca Chunky Tomato & Herb Lasagna back in those days, because then my parents would’ve had an easier time trying to trick me to eat something that was healthy for me — and maybe the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus would still be alive in my head and not just in my heart.

The Boca Chunky Tomato & Herb Lasagna looks like lasagna. It smells like lasagna. It tastes like lasagna. It can stain clothing in a food fight like lasagna. However, there’s no meat in the Boca Chunky Tomato & Herb Lasagna, just soy products that tastes sort of like meat.

It’s hard to believe the Boca Chunky Tomato & Herb Lasagna was low-fat and low-cholesterol, because it tasted pretty good. It had a nice little spicy tomato taste and I honestly couldn’t tell there wasn’t any meat in it. Although, the cheese looked like it could be used for Barbie plastic surgery, but it added a little more flavor to the lasagna.

Oh, if only Garfield the cat was real and not a comic strip character created in the mind of Jim Davis, then we would find out if Garfield could tell the difference between the Boca Chunky Tomato & Herb Lasagna and the usual meat lasagna.

But then again, Garfield looks like he would eat anything — even liver.


Item: Boca Chunky Tomato & Herb Meatless Lasagna
Price: $4.00 (on sale)
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Tasty. Can’t tell there isn’t meat. Low fat. Low cholesterol. Lots of protein.
Cons: A little pricey. Just enough lasagna for a single quasi-product review blog editor. Plastic looking cheese. Liver. Parent trickery. My NKOTB dance moves. The stench of deceit.

33 thoughts to “REVIEW: Boca Chunky Tomato & Herb Lasagna”

  1. I miss Gary Larson. *sigh* altho http://www.bizarro.com/ is almost always thought-provoking.

    Marvo, Calvin would be the one to get Hobbes to play “Spin The Lasagna,” no? But only hugging one another in the closet allowed for those two…

  2. I can’t even make myself try it, just knowing it’s faux meat substitute. Even if it tastes great, my psyche won’t let me. You are a brave man. But of course, we already knew that.

  3. I made an attempt at eating liver tonight (my own free will!) but I have to agree that it’s some vile stuff. In my experience dabbling with vegetarianism, the only soy products worth eating are deli products that don’t resemble meat in the first place (like bologna and hot dogs).

  4. Mia – But do you know the birthdays of all the members like Jobetta?

    Andy & Lou – I have a whole set of teeth!!! I think I would be the sexiest man alive there. 🙂

    Wednesday – Raw spinach salad…Good. Raw liver and onions…Bad. Fried chicken livers…Interesting.

    Jobetta – No. What would be sad is if you had all the NKOTB dolls, turned them into puppets, and had your very own NKOTB concerts. Did you do that?

    Mir – My arms aren’t long enough. You’re going to have to settle for your kids.

    Webmiztris – Mmm…Cat puke with hairballs.

    Andy – Mmm…Lasagna from a real Italian restaurant.

    Bryan – Oh, no they didn’t! They used the foreign language trick technique, making inedible things sound edible by using a foreign language. Brilliant!

    laina – I LOVE FLAT SODA!!!

    KarenOh how I miss human-on-stuffed animal action.

    Mellie Helen – It’s not faux meat substitute. It’s steak, just prepared in a different way. Go ahead and try it.

  5. You poor dear. My aunt did something like to me as a child. Served a roast and then stayed at the table with me after dinner and suspiciously asked how I liked it. I asked if she had prepared it differently because it didn’t taste like any other roast I ever had. She smiled wickidly and professed it was antelope then left the table. Should I mention I was 11 and this was the day after watching them on Wild Kingdom?

  6. Grins – You know what would’ve been worse? If she tricked you to eat reindeer on Christmas Eve and then told you it was reindeer while holding a “red nose” in her hand and making honking noises with it.

  7. This lasagna is my favorite microwave lasagna! Much better than Stouffers! The sauce is full of tomatoes, spices, and it’s not just some dressed up tomato paste.

    One time, I made baked ziti using veggie crumbles (soy protein trying to pass for ground meat) instead of ground meat. After my family had went for seconds, I told them what was in it. They stopped eating it for a second, and then just shrugged and went for thirds. By the way, Boca veggie crumbles is better than Morningstar veggie crumbles.

  8. Angel H. – ::looks up ziti:: Anyway, I’d have to agree that Boca seems to have better tasting items than Morningstar. Hey, is Gardenburger still around?

  9. “Jobetta – No. What would be sad is if you had all the NKOTB dolls, turned them into puppets, and had your very own NKOTB concerts. Did you do that?”

    Thank the Lord, no. That would have been very sad indeed.

  10. My kids could tell you some good stories–like the one about cow’s tongue being passed off as roast beef. (Well, it was, actually, come to think of it–albeit a little on the tough side!) Not too bad with lots of catsup. hehehe

  11. Jobetta – Oh, I can’t wait for the NKOTB reunion concert. Someday, someone is going to spend a lot of money to make that happen.

    Aggie – Not even ketchup marinated liver is edible to me.

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