On occasion, I like to help the MILFs and the DILFs of the world.
For those of you who don’t know, DILFs are Daddies I‘d Like to help with Fatherhood, while MILFs are still hot, sexy MILFs.
MILFs and DILFs are inundated with products specifically made for kids. When I walk down the aisles in the personal care section of a store, I see many products for kids, while looking for things to review, giving deodorant scent recommendations to people who didn’t ask, wishing the hip-hop trio A Tribe Called Quest would come out with a new album every time I see Q-Tips, and trying to determine the pros and cons of pads and tampons.
There’s shampoo for kids, toothpaste for kids, body wash for kids, vitamins for kids, aspirin for kids, echinacea for kids, and shaving razors for really hairy kids. Because there are so many kid-specific products, I want to help the MILFs and DILFs sift though these products.
Recently, I was given a few cans of Coppertone Kids Continuous Spray sunscreen from Robert, who some of you know as, “Robert the Condom Guy.” I think he probably sent me the sunscreen because he didn’t want to be known as “Robert the Condom Guy.”
Anyway, I don’t have kids of my own — unless someone knows something that I don’t — so I couldn’t try out the Coppertone Kids Continuous Spray on a kid. So being the natural guinea pig that I am, except hairier, I tried this product for a couple of weeks on myself during afternoon jogging sessions, which help me keep my slightly overweight girlish figure.
The main draw of this product is the fact that it’s a spray-on sunscreen, which allows easy application of sunscreen on kids, without the feeling of appearing child molester-ish, which some folks get with regular rub-on sunscreen.
Application of the clear Coppertone Kids Continuous Spray sunscreen on my arms, legs and neck was quick and easy, and it dried within seconds. Although applying it to my face wasn’t so easy. The directions on the can say to spray it in my hands to apply to my face, but when I followed those directions, the alcohol fumes from it made me gag, much like I do when I’m watching the scene in the movie Exit to Eden when Rosie O’Donnell is dressed up in S&M gear.
I expected the Coppertone Kids Continuous Spray sunscreen to have a fruity scent, like most kid-specific products, but instead it smelled like any other sunscreen. Thank goodness it had a typical sunscreen scent, because I wouldn’t feel very masculine during my afternoon jogging sessions if I smelled like “wild watermelon” or “cherry blast.”
The sunscreen seemed to have provided great sun protection since I didn’t feel any sunburn afterwards and it also seemed to produce lasting protection despite my sweating like a pig during my one hour jogging sessions.
So while the Coppertone Kids Continuous Spray sunscreen is made for 8-year-olds, it’s strong enough for MILFs and DILFs as well.
Item: Coppertone Kids Continuous Spray Sunscreen
Purchased at: Given by Robert the Condom Guy
Rating: 4 out of 5
Pros: Quick and easy to apply. Waterproof. UVA/UVB Protection. Goes on clear, so there’s no white crap. Not as greasy as rub-on sunscreen. Spray on is perfect if you don’t want to look like a child molester or NAMBLA member. No kiddie scent, which makes it possible for adults to use without smelling like kiddies. No CFCs. Robert the Condom Guy.
Cons: Application of it on face. Not wearing sunscreen when outdoors. Looking like a child molester. Rosie in S&M gear.
21 thoughts to “Coppertone Kids Continuous Spray Sunscreen”
You watched Exit to Eden? Man, I’m sorry. You should spray the “cherry blast” directly into your eyes to avoid watching that again. Think about it; I’m not.
Liked your review. DILF totally sounds like a dork club or something.
Do you normally burn Marvo?
Neat. I might pick some up. The last time my husband went without sunscreen I was peeling skin off him for days and days. Our bed looked like a damn ice rink.
Rosie Oâ€™Donnell make me gag.
I think you might be singlehandedly responsible for a spike in sales of this stuff to adults. Nice work!
Coppertone should give you some sort of bonus for this. Robert the Condom Guy deserves one too.
My current sunscreen love is Ocean Potion Anti-Aging formula…it smells like orange frosting.
It was a couple months ago while slathering up like a child molester for a race/practice, my nose caught a whiff of a very distinct scent. When I went to investigate, I discovered it was Coppertone sunscreen – not the continuous spray though…the regular child molester kine, something I hadn’t used since I was a child. The scent was nostalgic.
Plus, I’ve always loved their logo with the puppy dog pulling at the little girl’s swimpants.
The lazy, pale person that I am also bought that spray on sunscreen (except not the kids kind) I love it. Now, I don’t have to waste time rubbing sunscreen in and getting my back. Since you live in a hot climate, do you burn easily? Because, If I lived there, wow. I would stay indoors all day.
Love that continuous spray stuff. And Target makes a generic!
Can I be a MILF? I mean, no one’s ever called me that before, but lord knows I suck up to you enough…. 😉
Ooh, good review! I’ve been debating shelling out for this spray stuff and now I think I’m gonna have to. No more looking like a child molestor for me! (But, actually, now I’m going to feel weird every time I rub sunscreen on my four year old. Thanks, Marvo)
At the child molester part, I actually choked on my Pepsi. You crack me up, Marvo.
I might invest in this stuff. I don’t usually wear a lot of sunscreen, because I tan easily. But with all the UV ray shit going on, I’ll try the spray on kind. Thanks for the review.
I remember Dan Aykroid in Exit to Eden talking about using a vibrator. Shudder. Rosie’s S&M scene paled in comparison to that.
hmm. all i can say is that, ive used this. its good. ya, thats about it lol…i wish i had something clever to say, but sadly i dont 🙁
otherwise. good reveiw 😀
Domokun – One name…Dana Delany. Growl…
skibs – DILF is also a dork club, which I am a member of. I burn kind of easy, if I’m out in the sun for more than 30 minutes without sunscreen or bathe in rubbing alcohol.
Peachy – Skin flakes on your bed makes kind of gag. 🙂
Mandy – Helping me prevent skin cancer is all the bonus I need.
Gia on Guam – Orange frosting? A name that rhymes? I like that sunscreen.
Lucy – I’m not pale, but without sunscreen I burn easy. Also, I seem to burn when I sit too close to the television, especially King of Queens.
Mir – You will always be a MILF to me, until your kids have kids, then you will be a GMILF.
Melanie – I also think they need a spray thing for Vicks Vapor Rub, I’m sure it makes people feel child molester-ish too.
Brie – You may think of the sun as a big orange smiley face, like it’s depicted in children’s coloring book, but in reality it’s not. Also, avoid BluBlocker sunglasses, because they just look weird.
B-rad – Praise is always welcome, because it helps the big head I get from it, seems to help my posture.
did you get dark still?
i’ve tried on a similar spray-on sunscreen made by Neutrogena; Neutrogena Fresh Cooling Body Mist Sunblock. didn’t work. i got burnt as hell, especially on my shoulders. the only good about it was it smelled pretty and gave me tingles.
pink – Maybe that Neutrogena sunblock didn’t have enough SPF. This product has a 50 SPF. Also, it’s a sunscreen, blocking all the UV crap, so I still did tan.
What, no comment on how they censored the Coppertone logo from the way it’s been for the past many decades?
How sad is it that I know exactly what scene you’re talking about in that movie? At least I can be comforted that I’m not the only one who has been scarred by it.
Just started reading via a link from Robyn Lee’s site — you’re awesome!
great review and great comments. You kids rock. Especially liked the Tribe Called Quest reference… boh!
So, I take it this ISN’T a product Michael Jackson would enjoy applying to his kids or playmates…
Maybe you could start calling Robert the Condom Guy something like Robert the Protection Guy.
Lord Jezo – No comment on the ass crack.
Steph – You would think seeing Rosie in S&M gear would be such a traumatic experience that my mind would block it out, but for some reason it’s just sitting in my head waiting for inopportune times to appear. Thanks for the compliment!
gavTEK – Finally, someone comments on the Tribe Called Quest reference. Maybe I should’ve gone with the De La Soul reference.
Chuck – Not endorsed by Jacko. There should be a label or something on it.
cybele – Hmm…I wonder if he could get me Kevlar or a gigantic plastic bubble.
Banana Boat, baby…
K – Mmmm…Jaws loves banana boat…and so does Harry Belafonte.
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