Recently, a new version of Firefox, one of the most popular web browsers, was released into the wild. TIB was fortunate enough to sit down with Firefox and discuss the new version. Unfortunately, I don’t speak fox, so a translator was brought in.
Marvo: Aww. Awwoooo.
Firefox’s Translator: I’m a fox, not a fuckin’ wolf!
Marvo: Sorry about that. Anyway, Firefox 2.0 was recently “released into the wild,” how excited are you to be finally out there for the public?
Firefox: Grrrr!!! Grrrr!!! Yap. Yap. Bark. Yap. Bark. Yap.
Firefox’s Translator: – Oh. “Released into the wild,” like I’ve never heard that one before, you unoriginal bastard. Anyway, I’ve been downloaded over 200 million times and I’m totally excited about all the new features available.
Marvo: So what are some of the new features?
Firefox: Grrrr!!!! Grrrr!!! Bark. Bark. Yap. Yap. Bark. Yap. Yap. Bark. Bark.
Firefox’s Translator: I was just about to get into the new features until I was rudely interrupted. Who are you? Bill O’Reilly? Now where was I? Oh yes. First off, there’s improved tabbed browsing. By default, I will open links in new tabs instead of cluttering your monitor with new windows. Each tab will also have a close tab button.
Marvo: I like having a close tab button on each tab, just like in Apple’s browser, Safari.
Firefox: Grrrr!!! Grrrr!!! Ptwooie!!!
Firefox’s Translator: Safari…whatever! I can chew up Safari and spit it out. Ptwooie!!!!
Firefox: Yap. Yap. Bark. Yap. Yap. Yap. Bark. Bark. Bark. Bark. Yap. Bark. Yap.
Firefox’s Translator: You can also scroll through all your tabs, which is perfect for all the porn sites you visit, Marvo.
Marvo: What? Porn? Me? No.
Firefox: Grrrr!!! Bark. Grrrr!!! Yap.
Firefox’s Translator: I’m Firefox and I know what you’ve been downloading.
Marvo:: Whatever. Anyway, one of my favorite new features is Session Restore, which restores all the tabs and downloads in-progress after a crash or if you need to be restarted for any reason.
Firefox: Grrrr!!! Bark. Bark. Yap. Yap. Yap. Yap. Yap. Yap. Yap. Yap. Yap. Yap. Yap. Yap. Yap. Yap. Yap. Yap. Yap. Yap. Yap. Yap. Yap. Yap. Yap. Yap. Yap. Yap. Yap. Yap. Yap. Yap.
Firefox’s Translator: Crash? If you didn’t visit so many porn sites, like Asian Persuasion, Asian Babes, Asian Angels, Asian Happy Fun Time, Asian College Girls, Asian Ecstasy, Asian Girls, Asian Funhouse, Asian Pleasure, Asian Beauty, Big Asian Girls, Asian Grandmas, Asian Hos, Busty Asians, Asian Dreams, Asian Booty, Asian MILFs, Asian Holes, Asian Gratification, Asian Massage Parlor, Asian Office Workers, Asian Love, Asian Bondage, and Big Asian Dudes, I probably wouldn’t crash at all.
Marvo: You must be mistaken about all those sites, especially Big Asian Dudes.
Firefox’s Translator: Really?
Marvo: Anyway, another feature that I like is the built-in spell check, which comes in really handy when I’m leaving comments at other blogs.
Firefox: Yap. Yap.
Firefox’s Translator: Porn blogs?
Marvo: Geez, forget about the porn already! Don’t make me get Bob Barker to get you spayed or neutered.
Firefox’s Translator: Bring it, Sperm Sprayer!!!
Marvo: Let’s just finish this interview. One feature that I probably won’t use much, but could see being useful for my parents is the built-in phishing protection. Identity theft is a big problem and hopefully it will help the less educated from becoming victims. Can you tell us a little about it?
Firefox’s Translator: By default, phishing protection is on, and what it does is warn users if they have visited a possible phishing site, like a fake eBay, Paypal, or online banking site that someone could visit through a fake bank email, Nigerian scam email, or hot girl-on-girl email.
Marvo: One of my favorite things about you is the ability to add extensions and themes to enhance the Firefox experience. My favorite extensions are EditCSS, which allows me to preview cosmetic changes I make to TIB, and Download Statusbar, which is great for seeing the progress of large downloads.
Firefox’s Translator: Like porn?
Marvo: Enough with the porn. Anyway, there have been many additions to you, but none of them seem really revolutionary, more evolutionary. Tabbed browsing which was revolutionary in Firefox 1.0, is now better, and the same can be said of how you handle RSS feeds. Overall, you’re still a very solid web browser and I hope you continue to get better.
(Editor’s Note: If you’d like to download Firefox 2.0, go to Spreadfirefox.com. Also, TIB reviewed Firefox 1.0 a few years ago. You can read that review here. Warning: If you’re easily offended by corn, please do not click the link.)
Item: Firefox 2.0
Purchased at: Downloaded at Spreadfirefox.com
Rating: 4 out of 5
Pros: Still a fast browser. Better management of tabs. Session restore. Built-in spell check. Phishing protection. Extensions and themes.
Cons: New features seem more evolutionary rather than revolutionary. Foxes and wolves don’t really sound alike. Downloading on dial-up will take awhile. Some extensions and themes might need to upgraded to use with Firefox 2.0.
28 thoughts to “Firefox 2.0”
Unfortunately this browser has the same Myths:
I have Firefox and still end using IE most of the time simply from habit. Love the interview, but you shouldn’t take that shit off no overgrown vermin………..
you had me at GRRRRRR!
Big Asian Dudes? I predict that “The Other M” will want more details about that one.
Firefox is my fave, mostly because the spyware and virus fiends haven’t really gotten serious about targeting it yet, but I’m waiting for 2.1 at least before I upgrade. I don’t trust the first version of any major release. Your review actually helped further persuade me to wait. I actually already use the Tab X extension to give each of my tabs a close button in 1.5 and I scroll through tabs by using ctrl(or control when I’m on a Mac at work)+tab. Furthermore, I always set my prefs so that all new links open in new tabs instead of new windows. Finally, if you have the invaluable Google toolbar for Firefox it has built in form spell checking. Session restore sounds pretty cool, but I rarely crash, even when I have 50 porn tabs open—hmmm, that little piece of hubris is probably going to send me spinning down in flames toward the sea.
I love firefox. I’m kinda hesitant to download the newest version for a while though. One of their older versions had a memory leak and it made my computer run SOOOO SLOW. The version I have now (1.5.something) is awesome. I figure if it’s not broke, don’t fix it!
Downloaded. Installed. Asian Grandmas. Oh my.
I just started using Firefox a month ago, when the cable guys told me that Internet Explorer was awful, and full of security errors. I think I’ll upgrade this one.
I think I’m “Asian Grandmas” surprised me the most. Marvo, you are freaky, indeed.
what if i don’t know what version of firefox i’m running?
*sigh* marvo, if only you weren’t on a rock in the middle of the pacific ocean, you could help me out.
whatever version i’m on works well enough anyway…and i only installed it so i could use google notebooks
Andrew- Flamebait. Go back to slashdot where idiots like you can be modded down.
Just upgraded, using your referral link.
Eh, my gravatar isn’t working again.
Gravatar.com Admin is Down for Maintenance
Grrrr!! That little fox is certainly feisty. Maybe he wants you to try some fox porn to make him feel more included. At least he didn’t hit you with any of his fire powers or anything, though. The crash feature sounds awesome, I hate losing all my tabs! But I’m happy otherwise with whatever Firefox I’ve got goin’ on now so I’m not redownloading right this second.
Andrew – Wait, I have to reread my review and look for anything about myths…Nope.
Barb – Unless they come in packs, then I will run away, get hunted down, chewed up, and spit out. Ptwooie!
Suzanne – I put the grrr in swingrrr, baby!
Chuck – Yes, I’m waiting for his comment too.
L’il E – I won’t tell your wife about the 50 porn tabs. 😉
Webmiztris – I read somewhere that Firefox 2.0 has a feature that allows you to limit the amount of memory used. I wish Firefox 2.0 had a feature that allows me to limit the number of hours spent watching YouTube videos. It’s so addicting.
Domokun – First site you visit is Asian Grandmas? That’s freaky. You have to be in the mood for Asian Grandmas.
Brie – Asian Elderly was alright, but the wheelchairs and walkers seem to get in the way of the good stuff. 😉
jenn – I would totally help you out if there weren’t thousands of miles of land and water between us. I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more, to be the man who walks 1,000 miles to know which Firefox you use to web explore. Na na, na na, na na na, na na na.
Muneer – I would take out the link from his comment, but I’m too lazy. Also, Gravatar has been acting weird for the past month or so.
Melanie – Eh, if it used its fire powers, I would’ve just thrown a bucket of water at it.
You cannot beat firefox, the big mighty firefox beats all internet explorers hands down. oh and your artile translator should get a patt on the back he done good lol
Editor Reviews – I gave Firefox and the translator doggie treats.
I want to adopt Firefox. Do you know if he’s been neutered? Wouldn’t want to have lots of little Firefoxes running around ya know.
And BTW, thanks for letting me know about the upgrade. IE7 can shove it. Ooooh, it offers tabbed browsing now- something I’ve been using for oh, over a year with Firefox? Bleh.
Oh, this is one of my favorite parts…
When Firefox says, “Yap,” which translates to:
“By default, phishing protection is on, and what it does is warn users if they have visited a possible phishing site, like a fake eBay, Paypal, or online banking site that someone could visit through a fake bank email, Nigerian scam email, or hot girl-on-girl email.”
I didn’t know one word could have so much meaning!
I’m loving Firefox 2.0. Doesn’t seem too much different, but it was never really broken in the first place.
As far as those FF security “myths,” I’m pretty sure they’re bunk. I went from having to regularly root out spyware while using IE to almost never accumulating any after switching to FF. Provided, I use the NoScript and Adblock extensions liberally.
Toni – Little Firefoxes are soooo cute…until they get bigger, form a pack, and hunt me down.
Rhawb – ADBLOCK? NOOO!!! Sorry.
Ahh ha! You are semi-right Mister Chuck…Big Asian Dudes…Been there, done that! Show me something I haven’t seen! Mwahahaha! Although, Marvo…why you are visiting that site…that I WOULD like to know more about! 🙂
The Other ‘M’ – It was an accident. I was looking for Big Asian Dames!
I love adblock. Best firefox extension ever. I haven’t seen an ad for months.
Muneer – Thank goodness for IE. No ad block extensions. 🙂
Awwwww it sounds so cute!
And horny, rofl
Now I’m scared to get FireFox 2.0 though!
I don’t want cute little foxes being corrupted because of my already-corrupted self!
Heather Feather – Oooh, you’re like Midas, except without the gold touch and instead with the touch of corruption.
Oooh, Midas with the Corruption Touch.
… Poor little foxes.
Heather Feather – Although, if you did have a gold touch, you could’ve turned the poor little foxes into gold and sold them on eBay.
Hmm… true… I wonder how big the demand for solid gold corrupted little foxes is?
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