REVIEW: Green Giant Healthy Vision Vegetables

It’s finals time for me this week. Normally this would mean crying in my bath tub and listening to my Hillary Duff CD, but it’s about time that I grew up. It’s time to accept my fate head on.

Never again will I create an elaborate scheme of coughs and finger taps with my classmates in order to cheat. No longer will I go up to my professors and insist that I will do “anything…and I do mean anything” in order to pass a class. I could go on, but I don’t want to further incriminate myself.

As always, I look to shopping to relieve my stress. Obviously, this only causes more stress when the debt collectors constantly harass me via telephone, but it helps me relax for the time being. I decided to look for products that may help me during this tumultuous week. I ended up buying bananas, tuna, Red Bull, and this box of Green Giant Healthy Vision Vegetables. I purchased these items not only because I love banana-tuna sandwiches, but because these are all supposed to help my noggin stay sharp.

The Green Giant’s claim of vision improvement intrigued me the most because I have worn glasses since high school and have become progressively blinder throughout the years. I thought that it would be nice if a small bag of frozen vegetables would help me overcome this, but this is probably a case of wishful thinking. Nevertheless, I opened the box and decided to heat it up as a side dish to some grilled chicken.

I was happy to find that the contents came in a nice bag meant for steam-cooking. The vegetables included are sliced carrots, zucchini, and sliced green beans in a rosemary-butter sauce. This is certainly fancier than the depressing packages of wilted peas and corn that you usually get with frozen vegetables. After a few minutes, the bag looked like it was about to explode, so I took it out of the microwave.

My first bite was pleasant. The vegetables maintained a reasonable amount of texture and the sauce was not overpowering. It certainly made me feel better to eat this between my stacks of frozen dinners and piles of Snickers bars, so the purchase was worth it.

Unfortunately, I did not gain the powers of x-ray vision or the ability to see answers to tests. Oh, if only passing finals were as easily as heating up frozen vegetables. It looks like in order to continue with higher education, I will once again have to make the grade the hard way.

(Nutritional Facts – 1 cup – 45 calories, 2 grams of fat, 1 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 mg of cholesterol, 220mg sodium, 6 grams of carbs, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 3 grams of sugar, 1 gram of protein, 30% Vitamin A, 2% Vitamin C, and 2% Calcium)

Item: Green Giant Healthy Vision Vegetables
Price: $1.50
Purchased at: Albertsons
Rating: 4 out of 5
Pros: Easy to prepare. Steam-cooking helps keep vegetables moist without being water-logged. Rosemary-butter sauce tastes pretty good.
Cons: Bag looks like it could explode at any moment in the microwave. Vegetables have no discernible effect on vision. Finals week. Crying while listening to Hillary Duff. Making the grade the hard way.

15 thoughts to “REVIEW: Green Giant Healthy Vision Vegetables”

  1. It’s times like this when I’m glad I’m done with college and enjoying getting up at 5am to go to work. Wait. Ugh. No I’m not.

  2. Ewww, zucchini. You had me ’til there. For me, the most hated vegetable. 1000 suns of white hot hate. Those and yellow summer squash. Blargh. Now, I adore brussel sprouts and mustard greens so I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

    Good luck on your finals!

  3. I suggest you take a frozen bag of these into your final.

    The cold will keep you alert, the food will keep your blood sugar stable and maybe, just maybe it’ll give you that exam-seeing edge that you’ve missed during previous tests.

  4. If there’s one thing I don’t miss about college, it’s finals week. Blech. I just had a nasty flashback, there. Good luck, Ace!

  5. Thanks, Ace! now I know what will get me through the next few days of furious paper-writing and useless studying. Will the delicious vegetables also delay my inevitable nervous breakdown?

  6. Alas, a life of consuming veggies has not done much to improve my vision either.(pushes up granny glasses with middle finger)I wish you luck on those finals Ace, and then perhaps you can review a nice bottle of bubbly for the holidays.

  7. Just finished finals today!!! Didn’t have to perform sexual favors or cheat, so it made it all the sweeter.

    Marvo – Luckily I have evaded the “D’s” thus far, but I then again, I go to Cal State Fullerton. Not exactly the Harvard of the west coast.

    Nevis – Oh well, at least we can look forward to being babied the last ten years of our lives. That’ll make it worth it.

    Domokun – You don’t even like it fried with a side of ranch for dippin’? Well…I guess anything deep fried is good, but zucchini happens to be a favorite of time.

    Karen – This will be important to remember if I ever become diabetic.

    Chuck – I don’t need luck, I make it. No, I’m not sure what that meant either. Sleep deprivation does this to me.

    Meg – Don’t be so cynical, I’m sure one day you’ll have a life or death decision to make and you’ll need to know the meronyms of the word “ostracize”. And the delicious vegetables did not prevent me from becoming insane, but they were a decent side dish.

    edman0037 – Yet another one that I desperately need but can only be disappointed by.

    Shannon – Are you kidding? She’s the Bob Dylan of our generation.

    Hunter – –verb (used without object)
    1. to become limp and drooping, as a fading flower; wither.
    2. to lose strength, vigor, assurance, etc.: to wilt after a day’s hard work.

    They become withered and limp. I’m not sure why I took the time to look that up, but there it is!

    Drew – Haunted your dreams in a “I may have sexual feelings for him” way or a “damn, that creepy green guy in the short dress scares the shit out of me” sort of way?

    Bikerbabee – I wish I could purchase said bubbly, but unfortunately my McLovin ID card has not come in the mail yet.

  8. I eat one of these for lunch about 3X a week. I mix in 3/4 of a cup or so of grilled chicken breast, and it makes a very filling low-cal meal. You’d think after all that consumption of veggies, I’d be seeing through walls, but no such luck.

    Love your website! You suffer so we don’t have to. Don’t think we don’t appreciate it!

  9. I think we are surely twins who were tragically separated at birth. What’s your sign?

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