If you say Baltimore, I think crab cakes and pit beef. If you say Memphis, I can already smell the BBQ. And if you mention chocolate, I’m transported to Hershey Park and that hokey but lovable chocolate factory ride. Well, unless you’re talking about the chocolate in the new Limited Edition Kellogg’s Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory Chocolatey Almond cereal, in which case, I’d be at a complete loss for association without a little background research.
According to both commenters on this site and the back of the cereal box, it turns out the Colorado-based chocolatier is kind of a big freaking deal. The box sings all kinds of praise for the company, talking up “traditional methods” and “premium ingredients,” while using familiar buzz words like “premier” and “gourmet.” Basically, this is a company billing itself to be the Rolls Royce of chocolate, so you’d think that if they were going to team up with Kellogg’s to craft a chocolate flavored cereal, they might, you know, actually include chocolate in it.
Wrong.
Those of you familiar with Kellogg’s cereal have probably run across “chocolatey” cereals before. Like Special K’s Chocolatey Delight, the Rocky Mountain Chocolatey Almond Cereal feature chocolate-flavored squares that lack the legal definition of what chocolate is — cocoa butter. Made up instead of partially hydrogenated oil, sugar, and something called PGPR, the squares looks like chocolate, but they’re not chocolate.
Sneaky, I know.
But frankly, as long as it tastes like chocolate I don’t care if it’s made out of Brussels sprout powder, I just want something I can pass off as breakfast, but feel like I’m get dessert.
Opening the box up, I’m immediately greeted by an aroma similar to Cocoa Pebbles. There are sweetened corn flakes and what looks like a version of Chocolate Frosted Flakes. Both are well represented, but I’m struck by the sheer amount of the chocolate-but-not-really-chocolate chunks.
The cocoa-coated flakes taste a lot like those in Chocolate Frosted Flakes, meaning, unfortunately, they taste a lot like corn, sugar, and a wee bit of cocoa powder. They’re fine, I guess, but I find myself more drawn to the golden flakes. There’s a delectable and light honey flavor to them with a touch of malt syrup, making them more interesting than your standard frosted flakes and giving them a crispy but lickable mouthfeel. They reminded me fondly of two of my favorite discontinued cereals, Frosted Flakes Gold and Corn Flakes Touch of Honey.
I considered the flakes to be the high point, because the chocolate is a major disappointment, especially when eaten dry. The squares hardly taste like anything, lacking any richness or even sweetness. If the Rocky Mountains are to represent the pinnacle of chocolate confectionary, this was, I suppose, something produced in Death Valley.
I didn’t enjoy the cereal very much as a dry snack, but felt it much improved in organic whole milk. Of course, that’s cheating a bit considering most cereal boxes try to goad you into pouring skim milk on your cereal by listing nutrition facts with added skim milk, but if you ask me, you might as well be pouring water on cereal.
Anyways, the cocoa-coated flakes take on a nice malted milk flavor with a smooth taste, while the glazed corn flakes taste of honey and cream. Unfortunately, the “chocolate flavored pieces” still suck. I had hoped they might take on a sort of milk chocolate texture with added milk, but instead they turn into a vaguely cocoa-flavored, marshmallow-type square that tastes like what I assume dehydrated chocolate is like (although, having never gone into outer space myself, I gladly defer to any NASA experts on this matter.)
For good measure and in the interest of fairness I made sure to go back for a bowl in skim milk, finding, as expected, any richness gained from the whole milk to be gone, and the complete spoonful to be lacking.
Aside from being majorly disappointment in the chocolate, the cereal failed to also deliver a punch when it came to the almonds. Sliced small and thin, I suppose they add a nice touch on the cover art, but I didn’t notice them much while eating the cereal both dry and in milk. A damn, damn shame.
Even though the honey-glazed flakes of Kellogg’s Rocky Mountain Chocolate Company Chocolatey Almond Cereal reminded me of two of my favorite discontinued cereals, it’s still a major disappointment. Failing to deliver actual chocolate is bad enough given that the cereal is supposed to represent one of the country’s top artisan chocolatiers, but offering only meager almond and mild cocoa flavor puts it below other Kellogg’s chocolate cereals, like Krave and Frosted Mini-Wheats Chocolate Little Bites.
(Nutrition Facts – 1 cup – 210 calories, 35 calories from fat, 4 gram of fat, 2 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 90 milligrams of potassium, 42 grams of carbohydrates, 1 grams of fiber, 18 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein, and some vitamins and minerals.)
*made with partially hydrogenated oil
Item: Kellogg’s Limited Edition Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory Chocolatey Almond Cereal
Purchased Price: $3.49
Size: 11.5 oz. box
Purchased at: Wegman’s
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Delectable and light honey flavored flakes which remind of Frosted Flakes Gold and Corn Flakes Touch of Honey. Really good cocoa flake taste and crunch in whole milk. Limited Edition box to add to the collection. Spending time Googling food additive acronyms and feeling all Bill Nye the Science Guy because of it.
Cons: Fake chocolate tastes nothing like actual chocolate. Almonds get lost in the shuffle. Overall cocoa flavor is weak when eaten dry. Eating cereal in skim milk.