REVIEW: Kellogg’s Frosted Mini-Wheats Chocolate Little Bites

I’ll make love to you
Like you want me to
And I’ll hold you tight
Baby all through the night
I’ll make love to you
When you want me to
And I will not let go
‘Till you tell me to

I’ve never wanted to sing the chorus of the Boyz II Men song “I’ll Make Love To You” to a box of cereal before, until I tried the Kellogg’s Frosted Mini-Wheats Chocolate Little Bites, which is being marketed to kids. I would sing more than just the chorus if only I knew the rest of the song’s lyrics, because I keep getting the lines mixed up between this song, the other Boyz II Men hit, “On Bended Knee,” and Color Me Badd’s “I Wanna Sex You Up.”

Also, if I sang more I would be breaking a lot of windows with my voice. Not because it provides a high-pitch frequency to shatter glass, but because people will jump through windows to quickly get away from the sound that’s coming out of my mouth.

I won’t sing “I’ll Make Love To You” to just any box of cereal, despite what other cereal boxes, which I won’t name for fear of being snap, crackled or popped, might say about me. The Frosted Mini-Wheats Chocolate Little Bites are so good that I just want to stick my face into a bowl of it and lap it up like a dog after playing fetch the ball with Payton Manning.

When I bite into them it feels like there are small pieces of chocolate in each cereal biscuit, which is possible since the ingredients include semisweet chocolate chips. And I’m not talking about fake-ass mockolate. I’m talking about the real shit with cocoa butter. By keeping it real, the cereal tastes like little slices of chocolate cake and that’s why I sing:

I’ll make love to you
Like you want me to
And I’ll hold you tight
Baby all through the night
I’ll make love to you
When you want me to
And I will not let go
‘Till you tell me to

Not only does this cereal taste good, it’s also good for me because it has six grams of dietary fiber per serving, which is about one-fourth of the daily recommended intake of fiber. It’s also made with 100% whole grains, although because the cereal makes me want to spend a lot of money to get into its box, I think it might actually be made out of whore grains instead.

Perhaps the only characteristic I didn’t like about the Frosted Mini-Wheats Chocolate Little Bites was its name, which was confusing. Each piece of cereal was nearly half the size of regular Frosted Mini-Wheats, but its name didn’t articulate that because I tend to think that “little” is bigger than “mini.” If the iPod has taught me anything, besides not sticking my Belle & Sebastian collection on it so that people won’t think I’m a pussy, it’s that items from small to smallest should be named mini, nano, and shuffle.

I really hope Kellogg’s never decides to discontinue their Frosted Mini-Wheats Chocolate Little Bites because it’s so good and so good for me that if they did halt production of it I would have to start singing the Boyz II Men song, “It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday.”

(Nutrition Facts – About 52 biscuits – 200 calories, 2 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 0.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 270 milligrams of potassium, 45 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, 27 grams of other carbohydrates, 5 grams of protein, and a bunch of vitamins and minerals.)

Item: Kellogg’s Frosted Mini-Wheats Chocolate Little Bites
Price: $6.29
Size: 14.5 ounces
Purchased at: Star Market
Rating: 10 out of 10
Pros: Tastes like little slices of chocolate cake. Six grams of fiber per serving. Made with 100% whole grain. Contains real semisweet chocolate. A bunch of vitamins and minerals. Tastes best when eaten without milk.
Cons: Name is confusing. Milk kind of weakens its taste. Being caught with Belle & Sebastian on my iPod. My singing.

34 thoughts on “REVIEW: Kellogg’s Frosted Mini-Wheats Chocolate Little Bites

  1. I’ve seen a 10/10 here, but I think it was someone else… Ace?

    Either way, I’m impressed/shocked/scared/awed and all these other things. I need to make a cereal run now..

  2. @Chuck – It’s my first 10/10 review. I’ve given several 5/5, back when TIB’s ratings were 5/5.

    @Heidi – Yup, it was Ace who gave the first 10/10 for the Broasted Chicken.

  3. see I almost bought these cause they looked quite yummy but freakin’ a… 200 calories? and that’s without the milk. I just couldn’t justify it. But maybe I’ll get a pack just to snack on…

  4. Wow, 10/10. I might have to buy these.

    The best part is the lack of “mockolate.” Like that nasty Special K Chocolate Chunk. Ew. More like chocolate wax.

    Marvo, I would think the milk makes it BETTER. Like Cocoa Krispies, when you’re left with sweet chocolate milk.

  5. They’ve had an extremely similar type of cereal in the market in israel forever….called cariot. also comes in equally delicious vanilla flavor.

  6. @Heather – The 200 calories maybe a little high for some, but what I would do is walk around while eating it. That way you’re burning calories while consuming calories. If milk didn’t splash all over the place, you could even run.

    @Brie – For some reason, the cereal didn’t end up with sweet chocolate milk. Slightly disappointing, but I still think this cereal is A-W-E-S-O-M-E.

    @Ethan – Mmm…Vanilla.

  7. @yr momz – I know. I’ve been told that several times. But it’s so soothing.

    @Neil the hammer – I need those carbs for when I dance along with the video for the Boyz II Men song “Motownphilly.”

    @Nhiro – I’m glad it wasn’t a Shai song.

  8. Belle and Sebastian aren’t for pussies, they often sing depressing stuff with upbeat melodies. Ironic music isn’t for pussies! Now if you keep rocking out to the Jonas Brothers….

  9. @skibs – If you do buy them, whatever you do, do not tell me how much you paid for them because I will cry when I hear how much cheaper it was for you.

    @KevinJ – The Jonas Brothers are this decade’s Hanson brothers. Although, I do look forward to when they get older and Disney dumps them to see what kind of music they’ll put out.

  10. i hope you never have to sing B II M, “end of the road” to this cereal you clearly are in love with.

    but if that sad day comes maybe you can rebound with the cereal at tj’s that is filled with delicious chocolate innards.

  11. Mmm..bought these today and love them. They don’t make chocolate milk afterwards but I can live with that. And they were on sale for $2!!

  12. Wasn’t too sure about these at first but there seems to be a generally universal agreement that this qualifies as good eatin’!

  13. @Justin – Yup, they’re damn good.

    @TheSkinnyPlate – Do it! Do it! Do it!

    @lex – $2!!! What the fuck!?! Damn living on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean!!!

    @Woodenhand – Good eatin’ indeed.

  14. LIAR! false prophet bearing promises of cereal that tastes like chocolate cake. chocolate fake is more like it, because of your “rave review” I have dietary fiber and vitamins coarsing through my system. I didn’t even bother to read your review of the new Hanna Montana cereal but I bet you said “It tastes just like her” and some poor cannibal or pedophile is going to pick it up and be as upset as I am

  15. They were $2 at my grocery store, too, and I had $1/1 box coupons (still at http://www.coupons.com). I scored 4 boxes for $4. I’m so glad you reviewed them, otherwise I wouldn’t have given them a second look.

    Now to wreak havoc with my Weight Watchers plan…

  16. they are called Froster MINI Wheats LITTLE bites. They are Mini first then little, that’s were they get thier size. they honey nut ones arent as good though. too much nut and honey.

  17. @OUTRAGED!: OMG! You called me a prophet! That’s so cool.

    @DJ: BAH! Living on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

    @Rich: You’re welcome.

    @antwonjenkins: When I had to choose between the two, I had a feeling the Honey Nut one wouldn’t be very good.

    @Stephanie: Do they still make Rice Krispies Treats Cereal?

    @Chris: You’re welcome.

  18. So good!!! I love them for snacking.. I would say.. much better than any cracker, chip or cookie out there. I’d rather snack on this for 200 calories… psh.

    I hope they never get rid of this one!!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *