I have a sinking suspicion someone from Hostess got drunk at a carnival and had way too much fun with some cute carnies. I envision the deep fried Twinkie stand being manned by a fun young lass who dared the Hostess rep to create the ultimate ode to her and her young child, who was cradling a big wispy whirly stack of cotton candy. Trying to win over her affection he made a promise then and there to put something exclusively on Walmart shelves that would honor her forever, and in that moment, the Cotton Candy Twinkie was born.
Or something like that.
Pulling out my first cellophane beauty from its cardboard carnival house it’s no surprise that I’m greeted with a lovely smear of grease on the clear plastic, like the Twinkie was desperately trying to escape its factory sealed prison the entire time it was inside.
Releasing the ‘twink from captivity I’m immediately hit with a distinct cotton candy smell, and I’m impressed that I got such a strong aroma even before breaking into the cake. Unfortunately my hands are now already uncomfortably slimy and I’m not even eating bacon. Sigh.
Biting into the cotton concoction is when the fun really begins. The outside sponge cake is the same as always – greasy and mediocre and has my mouth feeling the same as if my shoulders were endlessly shrugging. The bright pink cream filling legitimately tastes like cotton candy and what I imagine poison tastes like.
What starts as a distinct artificial cotton candy flavor that reminds me of one of my favorite ice creams growing up gradually transforms and finishes with a nagging, astringent, and harsh food dye flavor that is downright bad.
The sweet cotton candy flavor is there, and the texture is represented through the general creamy fluffiness of filling, but everything gets completely washed out by the aftertaste, which lingers and resides over second or third bites – if you can make it that far. The taste is so strong it reminds me of trying to eat something sweet immediately after brushing my teeth, and my mouth and mind join forces to let out one resounding NO.
Simply put, these are not enjoyable to eat – at all. I’ll give props where props are due to Hostess for actually getting cotton candy flavor into the Twinkie, but if that flavor comes with a side dose of cringe-inducing astringency I will pass, and pass hard.
I’m starting to wonder if the people creating these products are even tasting them before they hit the shelves or if they just assume that everyone who consumes these will be high, drunk, or broken. Steer clear of these unless you legitimately like punishing your tastebuds like some sick twisted S&M carnival-themed eating game.
(Nutrition Facts – 2 cakes – 260 calories, 70 calories from fat, 8 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 340 milligrams of sodium, 44 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 31 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)
Purchased Price: $2.50
Size: 13.59 oz./10 pack
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 3 out of 10
Pros: Uhhh…they actually taste like cotton candy? Momentarily? A pretty blue box? I’m reaching here.
Cons: Awful astringent poison-esque aftertaste. Usual mediocre greasy Twinkie cake. I had to buy ten of them.
14 thoughts to “REVIEW: Limited Edition Cotton Candy Twinkies”
Shorting Twinkie to “twink” might not be the best idea… Don’t Google that with safesearch off.
Couldn’t we get a reviewer who actually enjoyed twinkies in the first place? Kind of hard to get an opinion from someone who describes with “usual mediocre greasy Twinkie cake.”
I completely agree
I agree with the comment on getting someone that actually maybe enjoy the Twinkie because this person definitely does not like them no matter what and I think the cotton candy Twinkie is super and I wish they’d continue it always not just temporarily
Amen to that
Just a heads up I do like Twinkies! I think they’re fine for what they are, but there’s no doubt that the outer sponge Cake of a Twinkie isn’t as good as some other offerings in the Hostess lineup. I really enjoyed the new chocolate cake Twinkies and last years peppermint Fudge covered were terrific. I’ve had my fair share of snack cakes in my day and I just think generally speaking Cup Cakes, Donettes, HoHo’s, and Sno Balls are all actually better produdts than the Twinkie. Not to mention zebra cakes and Little Debbie’s rolls, if we’re talking more direct flavor competition.
Had them, loved them. Just saying..
My I completely agree comment was supposed to be directed toward Hantoa because it would help to have someone who enjoys Twinkies reviewing. I personally think they taste great. Mind you they’re pink cream filled diabetes in a box but I still think they’re good. Even better, people are so loving them that they’re on eBay at black market prices.
I also loved them and hunting out more boxes to hoard tomorrow!
I can’t believe you didn’t like these Cotton Candy Twinkies. I absolutely love them. I like them better than any other flavor. Since they’re only for a limited time, I’m going to have to stock up big time and freeze them. They are so delicious.
I absolutely loves these … they’re very addicting, being the reason I won’t buy anymore or I’ll be filling out these jeans more than I want to. Sorry, you’re wrong … best ever!
I love most twinkies, and these are good. Have only seen them in stores in the south a couple of times, but I liked them. The banana cream filled ones are good also.
I never saw them or got any ,an I’ve been earring twinkies since I was little boy ,I’m 52 an eat them all the time ,if you have anymore please send me a whole lot so I can try an enjoy , now the Christmas one are very good , need to come out with orange cream .that would be good .
Did they already make Strawberry Shortcake Twinkies?
Comments are closed.