Have you ever been excited to see a new movie, and as you are leaving the theater, or more likely getting up off your couch, all you can think is, “Well, that was disappointing?” Let me introduce you to the rare Dairy Queen Blizzard that I might turn down if offered it for free. The new Caramel Toffee Cookie Blizzard is a classic case of over-promising and under-delivering.

The DQ website describes this one as having “chewy cookie pieces, buttery toffee and golden caramel,” which is all technically accurate. Then things go off the rails a bit with this sentence, which apparently someone got paid to write: “Picture your favorite autumn moments—the crunch of leaves underfoot, the warmth of a bonfire and family outings filled with laughter—all brought to life in this Dairy Queen Blizzard Treat.”

Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a bonfire nearby; otherwise, I might have tossed a mostly full cup into the flames. This one made me rethink my belief that you cannot really have a “bad” Blizzard, because anything with ice cream and various other sweets will at least be palatable.

This one barely clears that bar. For starters, the cookie pieces (which, according to the ingredient list on the DQ website, are blondie cookies) are immense. They certainly are chewy, as promised, but not much else. The flavor of the cookie pieces is nondescript, but their size overpowers the other parts of the Blizzard, and they were so chewy that it distracts from the other parts.

I really wanted to like this Blizzard, and I’m a big fan of toffee. OK, I’m not enough of a fan to have ever purchased a Heath or Skor bar, but I always snatched a few in the process of “checking” my kids’ Halloween candy. And I’ve enjoyed other toffee Blizzard variations. This one just missed the target. The toffee pieces did bring a bit of crunch, but there didn’t seem to be enough of them in my Blizzard, and the caramel flavor was barely there.

Maybe this would be a bit better with more toffee and without the Godzilla-sized cookie pieces, but I can’t imagine it would make a big difference. The overall taste combination of the cookies, toffee, and caramel was inexplicably almost a little bitter. So, this one gets the rare Do Not Recommend classification in my book.

Purchased Price: $4.99
Size: Small
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 680 calories, 22 grams of fat, 14 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 60 milligrams of cholesterol, 430 milligrams of sodium, 106 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 81 grams of sugar, and 13 grams of protein.

Reviewing Dairy Queen Blizzards is not easy. You might think I just go down to my local DQ, order a Blizzard, snap some photos, and write up a few hundred words about said Blizzard. OK, so that’s exactly what I do, and it’s pretty easy. The hard part is coming up with a rating. Because unlike some of the wild food items we review (the Archie McPhee Lobster Candy comes to mind), any mixture of vanilla soft serve and candy, cake, brownie, or other sugar-packed ingredients is going to be good. The question is: How good? Well, the new Reese’s Caramel Craze Blizzard might be the best of the best.

Not to be confused with the Summer Blizzard menu that has two new concoctions, the new Reese’s Caramel Craze is the August Blizzard of the Month. It contains Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, along with salty caramel-filled truffles and chocolatey shavings.

I’m going to assume you know what a Reese’s PB Cup Blizzard tastes like. For me, it’s a solid 8, maybe even approaching a 9 if the DQ mixologist goes a little overboard with the PB cups. What makes the difference here is the truffles. They are truly glorious. I guess the truffles are added at the end of the mixing process, because while the PB Cups in my Blizzard were pulverized, the delicate truffles were all perfectly intact. When you bite into one, you can taste the chocolate coating and then the luscious caramel oozes out with just the right touch of saltiness. It might not look like much in the close-up photo of a single truffle, but that little thing is packed with goodness (and according to the DQ ingredient list, soy lecithin, whatever that is).

DQ has used salty caramel truffles a few times in the past, including with the Caramel Cannonball Blizzard back in 2019. I gave that one a 10, and I’m giving this one a 10 as well. Since I barely remember last week, much less six years ago, I can’t tell you which is better. But what I can tell you is that if you like peanut butter cups and caramel, then you should make a trip to DQ sometime this month. I’ll also be asking you to sign a petition I’m working on to have DQ pledge to use salty caramel truffles in more Blizzards.

Purchased Price: $4.99
Size: Small
Rating: 10 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 770 calories, 37 grams of fat, 24 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 340 milligrams of sodium, 97 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 83 grams of sugar, and 16 grams of protein.

The Summer Blizzard Menu at Dairy Queen features five choices this year, and the star of the show, at least in my opinion, is the new Dipped Strawberry Cheesecake Blizzard.

Along with the Mixing Bowl Mashup, it’s the only one labeled as new, but I’m just going to label it delicious. Similarly to the Mixing Bowl Mashup, this one doesn’t blow you away with a unique mix of flavors, but the cheesecake pieces, choco chunks, and strawberry topping all do their jobs to create a sweet, satisfying treat.

The DQ website describes this Blizzard as “summer romance in a cup,” and while that’s going a bit overboard, there’s a lot to love about it. Sometimes, one ingredient in a Blizzard will be a bit too strong and end up overpowering the other flavors, especially with some of the chocolate variations, but that’s not the case here. Yes, there is chocolate in the form of choco chunks, but it delivers the perfect level of chocolatiness, which I was surprised to find out is a real word.

The strawberry topping is sweet, and the occasional real chunks of fruit are the best part. The cheesecake pieces were a little mushy, but still pleasantly creamy. To me, this is a somewhat rare Blizzard in that all three components are easy to taste individually and they all blend wonderfully together. Anyone with three children knows there will always be some fighting or one trying to control the others, but this Blizzard is just three happy, sugar-loaded siblings who get along quite well.

This is not all that different than the delicious but often forgotten Royal New York Cheesecake Blizzard, which has graham cracker crust rather than choco chunks, and more strawberry because of the loaded center core. But it does stand out for the way the flavors all work in harmony, and I’m definitely going to get this again before it disappears at the end of summer.

Purchased Price: $4.49
Size: Mini
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 350 calories, 14 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 40 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 50 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 42 grams of sugar, and 8 grams of protein.

I think we should all chip in and send a calendar and dictionary to Dairy Queen headquarters. Why, you ask? First, it launched this year’s Summer Blizzard Menu on March 31, which is just 11 days into spring and a whopping 81 days before summer.

But whatever, I’m always down for a new Blizzard.

That’s issue number two. The “new” Mixing Bowl Mashup Blizzard that is one of five on the summer menu is perhaps new according to the Taco Bell definition of the word, which is just rehashing the same ingredients, but it hardly tastes new. It’s still good but quite familiar.

Despite the name implying a smorgasbord of ingredients, this Blizzard has just two: brownie batter and chocolate chip cookie dough. I really have no big complaints about it; this one is really chocolatey and the cookie dough has a great chewy texture. Because the brownie batter flavor is so powerful, it almost made my mind think that the cookie dough was instead brownie chunks, and only occasionally could I tell it was indeed the former.

If I walked up to you, handed you this Blizzard, and asked if it was new, I’m guessing most of you would say no. But please don’t accept a free Blizzard from a total stranger, not that I’m in any financial position to just be slinging around treats all willy-nilly. However, if a trusted friend who is better at budgeting their money than me offers you this one, then go ahead. Take it and enjoy it. There’s nothing wrong with it, as long as you are not expecting something you’ll swear you haven’t already had before.

Purchased Price: $4.49
Size: Mini
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 490 calories, 21 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 290 milligrams of sodium, 68 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 49 grams of sugar, and 9 grams of protein.