REVIEW: Sonic Peanut Butter Bacon Shake

Sonic has rolled out two new limited edition Peanut Butter Bacon items, a shake and a cheeseburger, though perhaps fortunately for my nerves (which can only handle so much adventurous eating in one day), I’ll just be reviewing the shake here.

Let me be upfront: it’s not as strange as you may be afraid (or hoping) it will be. That’s because the bacon doesn’t really dominate the experience… though neither does the peanut butter.

The Peanut Butter Bacon Shake has a base of vanilla ice cream, which is understandable logistically speaking — Sonic’s a fast food joint, not an ice cream parlor capable of offering a gazillion unique flavors— but leads to the undeniable fact that it tastes more like its vanilla foundation than the mix-ins that are supposed to be featured. It also doesn’t help that the thick, creamy texture of the peanut butter doesn’t exactly blend in seamlessly with vanilla ice cream that has a thick, creamy texture too but also has the advantage of being present in a much higher quantity. If the peanut butter component came from something more mixable, like a syrup or even just a bunch of Reese’s Pieces, I think it would make much more of an impact, but as is, the smudges of peanut butter flavor only come through in small, infrequent, slightly unsatisfying doses.

You’ll notice I haven’t even mentioned the bacon yet, and that’s because it is similarly outshined. It comes in the form of well-cooked bits, a mix of larger, crispy dark red pieces and smaller, slightly chewier lighter ones, which are scattered liberally atop the rich, thick whipped topping (wimpy whipped cream it is not!) that crowns the shake. That looks cool, but sort of separates the bacon from the rest of the experience.

Yes, you could stab your straw directly into a batch of bacon bits and suck them all up at once for a rush of salty meatiness, but I’m guessing you’ll probably just do what I did, which was sip the shake without positioning the straw any particular way, resulting in mostly bacon-less sips (some bits were swirled up throughout the shake, but not enough that it really affected the flavor) with the bits on top gradually sinking to the bottom to be dealt with once the rest of the shake is gone. If we’re being pedantic, the whole thing felt more like a “Vanilla Shake with Peanut Butter Swirl and Bacon on Top” than a true “Peanut Butter Bacon Shake.”

The shake’s texture, though, was sublime; it hit my sweet spot of being thick enough that I had to work a little to drink it through the straw but not too thick that a spoon was required. And aside from its outsized presence, I don’t have any complaints about the vanilla ice cream.

Overall, this isn’t a bad product. It’s just a little odd, not daring enough to scratch the itch for novelty seekers, but maybe still a bit too weird for those seeking a classic milkshake. The few who fall into the grey area in between will likely enjoy it, but let’s just say I’m not holding my breath for this to earn a permanent place on the menu.

Purchased Price: $6.09
Size: Medium
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Unavailable at the time of review.

REVIEW: Dunkin’ White Hazelnut Bark Coffee

White chocolate peppermint bark is something that I’ve always associated with the holiday season, but white hazelnut bark I’d never heard of before — and want to try as soon as possible, now that I’ve been made aware of its existence. Until I’m able to track some down, though, I figure the next best thing is to sample it in beverage form via Dunkin’s new White Hazelnut Bark Coffee, part of its hotly anticipated new winter 2024 menu. (Or, because of the season, should I say coldly anticipated? … Okay, fine, that was an awful pun. Please don’t pelt me with snowballs.)

According to Dunkin’s latest press release, this new flavor is inspired by an earlier (and still available) seasonal offering, the Toasted White Chocolate Swirl. I dug a little deeper, searching up Dunkin’s lengthy Allergen and Ingredient Table online, and noted that in addition to that swirl, this coffee also includes cream and “hazelnut flavor.” It is available both hot and iced; I generally enjoy, and surely will eventually try, both, but opted for iced for this review as I think that format is more conducive to clear, distinct flavors, as opposed to hot beverages where they are more likely to muddle together or be overshadowed by the tongue-tingling temperature.

I expected this to be a more white-chocolate-forward drink with hints of hazelnut, but I had the opposite experience: the first flavor that came through was distinctly nutty. Don’t get me wrong, this coffee is certainly sweet and creamy too, but so are sugar and cream, so I wasn’t sure which part of that profile screamed “white chocolate” specifically. And while I absolutely love white chocolate, even I must admit that it’s not the most distinctive beverage flavor, so it makes sense that the hazelnut component would be more dominant.

A common complaint about these dessert-based limited edition flavors is that they are too sweet. Did I find that to be the case here? No… but I was also content with the sugar level of the Ice Spice Munchkin Drink (which was, in a word, ludicrous), so maybe take my opinion with a grain of salt… or a grain of sugar… or several tablespoons of sugar…

In any case, I enjoyed the White Hazelnut Bark Coffee. I just can’t say it was the most unique experience. Regrettably, I also can’t say I prefer it to its predecessor, the Toasted White Chocolate Signature Latte. I have to reiterate that it was a yummy pick-me-up that tasted exactly how it was supposed to. But it was just a little underwhelming — and I can’t in good conscience give a higher score to a product whose most memorable quality was teaching me about a different product I’d rather consume.

Speaking of, now that I’m sufficiently caffeinated, it’s time to hunt down some proper white hazelnut bark!

Purchased Price: $3.91
Size: Small
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 170 calories, 6 grams of fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 65 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 25 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: KFC Mac & Cheese Wrap

In retrospect, the amount of KFC mac and cheese I consumed in my childhood was not advisable, but it did prime me perfectly to review the chain’s new Mac & Cheese Wrap, which includes three of my favorite things —- fried chicken, mac and cheese, and wacky combos. The new KFC Wrap variety accompanies the returning Spicy Chicken Wrap and Classic Chicken Wrap. But that’s all I have to say about those cheeseless bores, though!

Before ordering, I didn’t realize the combo comes with two wraps, so I went ahead and got the meal, which also includes a medium drink and a side of fries. The two wraps don’t have to be the same flavor, but you can bet your $8.49 that I wasn’t going to pass up the chance to choose double the mac.

When my order was called, I instantly realized why two is the magic number: these wraps are fun-sized, to put it politely. My go-to tortilla-based fast food is a Chipotle burrito, but portion-wise, a better comparison here is a Taco Bell burrito. Inside each teeny, toasted tortilla is one chicken tender, a sprinkling of mac and cheese, and, for good measure, some shredded three-cheese blend as well.

These wraps didn’t escape my pet peeve of all the fillings being packed towards the open end, leaving the other end sadly flat and dry, but I can’t even judge them too harshly because, boy, were they tasty. I’m more accustomed to seeing chopped chicken in wraps, but the length and width of a single tender made for a surprisingly good fit. I’ve previously sworn my allegiance to KFC in the fast food chicken wars, and these tenders only affirmed my loyalty, plump and juicy with an addictive crispy coating. And while this chain might not be as known for its noodles (it’s not called Kentucky Mac and Cheese, after all), I find them insanely craveable. The sauce is creamy, the macaroni is so soft and tender that it practically melts in your mouth, and the overall effect is so mild and comforting that I could eat a vat of it without even noticing. Luckily for my stomach, the wrap doesn’t contain a vat’s worth — more like a couple spoonfuls. The portion of shredded cheese is similar, though it tastes sharper, and is (or was in my order, anyway) notably unmelted. But the majority of the flavor definitely comes from the chicken and mac.

I could gripe that this wrap could use even more mac and cheese, but I’ve struggled so many times to cleanly fold an over-stuffed tortilla that I’m willing to give some grace. Plus, I’m in a charitable mood after such a delicious dinner! If you’re a fellow mac and cheesehead, I highly suggest you get yourself wrapped up in this new offering too.

Purchased Price: $8.47 for the combo (just the two wraps is $5)
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 400 calories. Other numbers are not available on KFC’s website.

REVIEW: Arby’s Fried Mac ‘N Cheese Bites

Arby’s new Fried Mac ‘N Cheese Bites fail to deliver on one crucial promise. They are indeed fried, filled with cheese, and bite-sized, so the false advertising lies in promoting the presence of macaroni.

When my first bite of my Bite revealed an oozing cheese-filled center with nary a noodle in sight, I wanted to give Arby’s the benefit of the doubt. It seemed plausible that the cheese was just so abundant that it was obscuring the noodles beneath it, and in what world is cheese that’s too abundant a bad thing? But then the next bite also didn’t show off any hidden macaroni, and I realized I couldn’t taste or even feel any in my mouth, either. All my senses were telling me that underneath the fried coating was nothing but soft, creamy cheese. When I went so far as to tear my next Fried Mac ‘n Cheese Bite apart, I did finally find a single morsel that appeared to be a noodle, but I know I would not have noticed it if I hadn’t gone very far out of my way to look for it.

According to Arby’s online Ingredients Guide, the pasta that these allegedly contain is ditalini, which, being shaped like tiny tubes, is consistent with the small piece I was able to unearth. But it’s not possible to overstate how little ditalini appeared to be used in these, and how little the ditalini subsequently impacted my eating experience.

Now, let’s back up a bit. One order of what I would more accurately call “Fried Cheese Bites” comes with four piping hot pieces, which, with their diminutive size, perfect roundness, and brown exterior, look a bit like Swedish meatballs. The fried coating is made from panko breadcrumbs and applied thickly and consistently, providing a robust crisp that is a nice contrast to the gooeyness inside.

The immediate flavor profile the cheese gave me was sharpness: taking into account its bright color as well, it was easy to guess that cheddar was involved. It was also no surprise to find out from the aforementioned Ingredients Guide that another key component is cream cheese, which definitely made itself known in the silky, spreadable texture and notes of tanginess in the filling (not to mention the whiter patches among the sea of yellowy-orange). I must admit though, I would not have guessed that two other cheeses were even involved, much less realized that they were parmesan and fontina.

My preference for mac and cheese bites is to be more mac-forward, with the cheese present as a thick sauce coating the noodles rather than its own entity running the show. So, while these were decently tasty, they weren’t really what I was hoping for. And honestly, the small portion size (and comparatively large price) makes them seem even less worthwhile. They wouldn’t be a filling snack on their own, and even eaten as a side, they seem much less satisfying than their closest cousin on the Arby’s menu, mozzarella sticks. Maybe they’d be more exciting if you slid them into your burger or sandwich to add some extra zing? In any case, if you’re a mac and cheese devotee like me, I can see why you’d like to give these a try. I’m just not sure why you would order them a second time.

Purchased Price: $4.29
Size: 4 pieces
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 280 calories, 18 grams of fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 620 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of total carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 8 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Taco Bell Vegan Nacho Sauce

Fast food chains consistently making a popular item available for a limited time only to whip up more adulation upon its inevitable return isn’t new, but what is new for the latest go-round of Taco Bell’s Nacho Fries is what you can now dip these perennial pleasers into…Vegan Nacho Sauce! This limited time offering launched on October 12th, but writing this just a few weeks later, I can confirm they weren’t kidding about the “limited” part. Many locations have already stopped selling Vegan Nacho Sauce, and I struck out at multiple places before locating the dang thing.

When I finally discovered some, the plant-based-elephant in the room was its viscosity, which could be best described as “sludgy.” My traditional idea of nacho sauce is on the liquid-y side, while this looked more like unnaturally dark orange plastic in a cup. When I glommed a big blob onto the end of a fry and held it out to take a picture, it even stayed in place the whole time, which felt somewhat freakish. I guess it’s a good thing that no one could look at this vegan variant and accidentally mistake it for the dairy-based original?

After my picture was taken, my first bite was taken too, and it was a bit confusing. Why was I getting spiciness? And was that a hint of Old Bay? I replicated my experiment repeatedly, and — oh, yep, okay, it became clear that all that overpowering zest was coming exclusively from the Nacho Fries.

That was a bit disappointing. Isn’t the whole point of dipping sauce to liven up the taste of something that’s too plain on its own not to fade into the background itself? Lapping up a solo gob of sauce brought a faintly funky flavor, slightly and pleasantly earthy, but decidedly not bad. People who brag about being vegans can have a bad reputation, and often, so does vegan food itself; I Googled “vegan cheese tastes like,” and the first word that auto-filled was “vomit,” but while Taco Bell’s newest offering kind of looks like that, it certainly doesn’t taste like it. Its flavor was mild, with a creaminess despite the rubbery looks and a comforting warmth, not as strident or synthetic as I’d feared. Just as it doesn’t look especially like dairy cheese sauce, though, it doesn’t taste much like it either.

This is the part of the review where I’d usually tell you whether to buy this product or not, but unfortunately, if you’re in an area where it’s no longer being sold, that choice might have already been made for you. So what I’ll say instead is that I think it’d be worth it for Taco Bell to give the Vegan Nacho Sauce another more permanent chance. I might not personally be rushing to buy it again, but I’m sure plenty of people who are more into vegan dining would. So come on, Taco Bell, learn from McDonald’s. If the McRib can go on a whole farewell tour before popping right back onto the market, Vegan Nacho Sauce can too!

Purchased Price: $3.80
Size: Small (size is for the fries, and the sauce is served on the side)
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (fries with sauce) 310 calories, 17 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 780 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of total carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.