Author: Mark

REVIEW: Limited Edition Gingerbread belVita Breakfast Biscuits

Mark 1 Comment

Limited Edition Gingerbread belVita Breakfast Biscuits

Is it just me, or have the food companies gotten lazy with their limited-edition offerings?

The big holiday flavors this year appear to be hot cocoa and gingerbread. For hot cocoa, all you do is take chocolate – usually an already existing flavor – and add marshmallows. It doesn’t even have to be hot, yet it still qualifies as hot cocoa.

Gingerbread is a little more innovative, but not much. It seems like most brands that have gingerbread also have pumpkin spice. Just swap out the pumpkin for molasses (if it even had pumpkin in the first place), add some ginger (if it didn’t already have some), and boom. Gingerbread.

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Unfortunately, these Limited Edition Gingerbread belVita Breakfast Biscuits are another lazy product. To me, they taste just like the pumpkin spice variety. (In fairness, I did not compare them side by side.)

They have a vague spiciness, and if I concentrate, I can taste the ginger. But I don’t taste molasses, even though it’s in the ingredients list.

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Here’s the problem I see: Gingerbread is a cookie, right? And breakfast biscuits are basically cookies, right? It shouldn’t be hard to make a cookie taste like a cookie. Yet these don’t taste like gingerbread.

I understand that it might not be practical to put in too much molasses. Gram for gram, these biscuits have less sugar than a lot of cereals, and if they put in molasses, it might exceed their desired sugar count—they would switch from being breakfast biscuits to being dessert biscuits. Plus, molasses is one of those weird ingredients with a distinctive, almost pungent, odor.

But at the very least, they could have stepped up their game with the spices. Ginger is the only spice mentioned by name in the ingredients, and the biscuits would have benefitted from actual cinnamon, nutmeg, and/or clove -— not just whatever is in “natural flavor.”

If these were simply marketed as a new belVita flavor that is not gingerbread, I would give them a 7 or 8. They have a pleasant oaty flavor and a satisfying crispness. They might not be enough as a meal, but they’re fulfilling as a snack. You get that preschool nostalgia of eating graham crackers, yet feel like an adult because they’re not actually graham crackers. I like ’em.

But since they call themselves gingerbread, they set a higher standard —- a standard they fail to reach.

(Nutrition Facts – 4 biscuits (50 grams) – 230 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 95 milligrams of potassium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein..)

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 8.8 oz. box (5 packs)
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Cute packaging. A tasty, satisfying biscuit. You can taste the ginger if you concentrate. Pretending cookies are breakfast.
Cons: Doesn’t taste like gingerbread. Lazy limited edition foods.

REVIEW: Hostess Limited Edition Peppermint Twinkies

Mark 3 Comments

Hostess Limited Edition Peppermint Twinkies

Who’s got a bandana that’s long and white? Twinkie’s got a bandana that’s long and white!

Who’s got a creme that’s mint instead? Twinkie’s got a creme that’s mint instead!

Mint instead, cake of red,

Bandana that’s white, winter delight,

Must be Twinkie, must be Twinkie, must be Twinkie, Twinkie Mint!

When I open up a package of these Hostess Peppermint Twinkies, I smell two distinct scents.

The first is a minty, Christmassy scent. For some reason, it reminds me of the first few hours after school on the last day before holiday break, eating the requisite candy cane they gave us at the school sing-along.

The second is the familiar odor of Twinkie sponge cake. If you’ve ever had a Twinkie, you know what I’m talking about. If you’ve never had a Twinkie, it doesn’t matter, because you don’t exist anyway.

The Twinkies are described as “peppermint cake with creamy filling,” but I wonder if they got it backwards, and it’s supposed to be “peppermint creamy filling with cake.” When I try to isolate the components, I don’t detect any peppermint in the red-colored cake, but I do in the filling. Some weird kind of cross-contamination of flavors, maybe?

But maybe it’s in both because when I eat the cake like a normal person, it’s mintier than either part on its own. The textures are what you’d expect -— a soft, spongy cake with a light, airy filling. The minty flavor gives the humble Twinkie a nice festive upgrade. It’s not as minty as a mint-thusiast like me would like, but it works, and I suspect that even mint-averse folks could get on board with this candy-cane-esque cake.

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Considering that it’s a Twinkie, I have no complaints. It’s not a gourmet, decadent dessert, but it never claimed to be. It just claimed to be a limited edition suitable for the month of December (or November, apparently). I like this better than last year’s White Peppermint Twinkies or last spring’s Shamrock CupCakes.

Remember that episode of The Simpsons where Homer wanted to gain weight so he could go on disability? Dr. Nick advised him to eat from the neglected food groups: “Remember, if you’re not sure about something, rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it’s your window to weight gain.” Well, I got that greasy spot on my paper towel. So if you’ve been asked to play Santa Claus at your office Christmas party, these Twinkies are a tasty way to become your new jolly self.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cakes – 230 calories, 70 calories from fat, 8 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 340 milligrams of sodium, 44 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 30 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 13.58 oz. box/10 cakes
Purchased at: Dick’s Market
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Nothing to complain about. Might appeal to people who don’t like mint. Festive upgrade to a classic standby. Coining the term “mint-thusiast.”
Cons: Not as minty as some would like. Leaves grease stains. The beginning of holiday weight gain.

QUICK REVIEW: Nestle Toll House Limited Edition Pumpkin Cobbler Cookie Dough

Mark 2 Comments

Nestle Toll House Limited Edition Pumpkin Cobbler Cookie Dough

I’ve had my share of unusual pumpkin items, and I’ve made some unique cobblers (leek cobbler, anyone?). But I have never even heard of pumpkin cobbler. I’m sure someone’s made it somewhere, but as far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t exist.

Nestle has made a cookie flavored like something that doesn’t exist with this Toll House Pumpkin Cobbler dough. It’s described as “cookie dough with pumpkin, oats, spices and a pumpkin pie filling.”

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All the cookies are stuck together in cubes. They didn’t separate perfectly along the dough perforation, but it was good enough. In a matter of seconds, they were ready to go in the oven. Preheating takes longer than preparation.

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They took longer to bake than the 11–12 minutes recommended on the package, but I think that’s because I used a cooking stone instead of a metal baking sheet, and I live at an elevation of 5,000 feet.

My biggest disappointment was the pumpkin filling. I expected it to be the texture of pumpkin pie or even apple butter, but it was a syrupy, sticky substance, reminiscent of the residue leftover in the jam jar.

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But just because the filling wasn’t what I had hoped doesn’t mean the cookie wasn’t good. I can definitely taste the oats, and while the ingredients don’t specify what spices are in it, I could detect cinnamon and probably nutmeg. I had a harder time noticing the pumpkin, but I think it’s there.

There’s a tendency to regard these premade, preportioned cookie doughs as utterly plebeian, inferior to cookies made from scratch. I don’t disagree, but there’s something to be said for warm, fresh-out-of-the-oven cookies without mixing bowls in the sink or flour spilled on the counter. These are a tasty option for two dozen quick treats on an autumn afternoon.

Purchased Price: $2.79
Size: 16 oz. package
Purchased at: Dick’s Market
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cookie) 80 calories, 3 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 70 milligrams of sodium, 12 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 7 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Limited Edition Nature Valley Pumpkin Spice Crunchy Granola Bars

Mark

Limited Edition Nature Valley Pumpkin Spice Crunchy Granola Bars

I have found that the term “pumpkin spice” generally means one of three things: (1) real pumpkin and spices, (2) artificial pumpkin flavor and spices, and (3) just spices. In my experience, the items that have actual pumpkin are almost always better than those without. (Pumpkin Spice Cheerios > Pumpkin Spice Life.)

These Limited Edition Nature Valley Crunchy Pumpkin Spice Granola Bars have real pumpkin flakes, but unfortunately, they don’t follow that pattern.

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There’s nothing particularly egregious about these bars. It’s just that they don’t meet expectations. I shared a pack with my coworker, and he said, “If I were blindfolded, I couldn’t tell these from the Oats ’n Honey ones.”

If you’ve had that green-wrapped variety, you know what you’re getting with the pumpkin spice version—very crunchy, very dry, and crumbs all over the place. I ate mine with milk because they’re so dry. There is a little bit of spice to it, but not a lot, and I don’t detect the pumpkin at all.

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Since the Nature Valley commercials always show people doing something outdoorsy while they consume these, I took my second pack on a short trail run. I thought the dryness would not be suitable for the outdoors, but on the contrary, I found the crunchiness and oat-y flavor surprisingly pleasant in nature, and it didn’t matter if the crumbs made a mess! Still wouldn’t be my first choice, though.

Kashi makes their own Pumpkin Spice Flax Crunchy Granola Bars, which they sell year round (although they seem to be getting harder to find). Even though those don’t have pumpkin flesh in them, I recommend the Kashi version over Nature Valley. They’re very similar, but I think Kashi has more spice, and it has more protein and fiber and fewer calories.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 6 2-bar packs
Purchased at: Smith’s (Kroger)
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 bars) 190 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 125 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbs, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 10 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Brach’s Chocolate Mint Cookie Candy Corn

Mark 1 Comment

Brach s Chocolate Mint Cookie Candy Corn

Never in my life have I seen a cookie that looks like what’s on the package of this Walgreens-exclusive Brach’s Chocolate Mint Cookie Candy Corn. I’m pretty sure they designed the candy corn first and then invented a cookie that looked like it.

But they could have saved themselves the trouble of inventing new cookies if they just called it “Chocolate Mint Candy Corn.” There is nothing particularly “cookie” about it, and chocolate mint is novel enough as it is.

When I open up the bag, I get a strong whiff of Shamrock Shake. If blindfolded, I might think I was at McDonald’s six months ago instead of in my work’s break room at the cusp of fall.

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The white tip tastes like ordinary candy corn. The green center is vaguely spearmint, but not as overpowering as those green starlight mints they sell at the gas station. I thought the chocolate end would taste like Brach’s perennial Indian corn; it doesn’t, but that might be because the mint has infiltrated everything. Altogether, the candies have a fake chocolate, fake mint flavor to them.

I have to admit my biases: I like candy corn. I like mint. And I like fake chocolate flavors. Therefore, I find these decent. But I suspect many consumers will find them unappetizing.

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They taste like watery instant mint hot chocolate – you know, made with water instead of milk and not nearly enough powder. But if you want something decadent, you’re not going to be looking at candy corn anyway.

The concept of this candy is really weird. Some weird things are disgusting. Some weird things are awesome. But this particular weird thing falls somewhere in between.

Purchased Price: $3.49
Size: 15 oz. bag
Purchased at: Walgreens (Exclusive Flavor)
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (15 pieces) 110 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 22 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.