QUICK REVIEW: Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Dairy Whipped Topping

Reese s Peanut Butter Cup Dairy Whipped Topping

What is it?

Reese’s-flavored “Dairy Whipped Topping,” because “whipped cream” wasn’t enough of a mouthful.

How is it?

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On paper, this is a great idea. The can is inviting. The image of peanut butter cream surrounded by a rainstorm of Reese’s cups only elicits happy feelings, so why is this so bad?

It’s an aerosol-style can with a nozzle, so I hit it from the source first. That’s where all the fun lies.

It’s “dairy whipped topping” so you can imagine the texture, although this is even airier than I expected. The flavor hints at it, but at no point did I feel like I was ingesting a Reese’s product.

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I normally complain when something like this is too sweet, but it’s barely sweet at all. There is a light lingering peanuty flavor. Not only that, the cream basically remains at room temperature no matter how long it’s been refrigerated. I had it in the fridge all day, and it was still lukewarm at best.

If you like unappetizing peanut-flavored foam, I guess this is for you.

Is there anything else I need to know?

I could instantly tell there was no way this would hold its flavor when used as an actual topping. To test the theory, I went with chocolate pudding. The already faint cream flavor was dwarfed immediately. It did nothing to enhance the pudding.

I imagine any ice cream would easily wash out the “Reese’s” flavor.

Conclusion:

I like the thought, but Hershey dropped the ball. They need to ramp up the sweetness if they want this to be a viable topping choice.

After taking a few more rips from the can, I had a flashback to my days chugging little white half and half cups off diner tables. While I laughed at my younger, dumber self, it made me sick to my stomach.

Just sprinkle some other Reese’s product on your ice cream and forget about this.

Purchased Price: $3.28
Size: 7 oz. can
Purchased at: Stop & Shop
Rating: 3 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 Tablespoons) 15 calories, 1 gram of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 mgs of cholesterol, 0 milligrams of sodium, 1 gram of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Exclusive Flavor Frosted Chocolatey Salted Caramel Pop-Tarts

Exclusive Flavor Frosted Chocolatey Salted Caramel Pop Tarts

What is it?

Another one of those store-exclusive snacks that cajole you into buying a value pack by not offering a smaller box.

In other words, this Pop-Tarts flavor is a Walmart exclusive, only comes in a box of 16 pastries, and features a chocolate-y pastry filled with alternating ribbons of chocolate and salted caramel fillings and salted caramel icing.

How is it?

Even though Pop-Tarts are never going to be a five-star breakfast, I suppose these aren’t half bad when you consider that most people are going to be eating them while they’re not fully awake.

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Fresh from the foil sleeve, each pastry was crisp, sturdy, and smelled faintly of cocoa. It did an adequate job of containing the pastry’s filling, which was surprisingly less runny than I was expecting it to be, and the acceptably sweet frosting gave a satisfying crunch to top off the experience.

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Calling them “adequate” or “acceptable” is about as kind as I can be towards these, though. The dry pastry shell needed more cocoa to make it taste sufficiently “chocolatey,” and the salted caramel and chocolate fillings both ended up being so faint that they almost completely canceled each other out.

Even the frosting tasted like regular royal icing and left me wanting more salted caramel. If I had been eating one of these first thing in the morning, you could have told me it was a S’mores Pop-Tart and I would have believed you.

Is there anything else I need to know?

Like all Pop-Tarts, these are best eaten warm. Toasting them turns the filling into little rivers of chocolate and salted caramel lava, and that helped bring the fillings’ flavors forward a little more.

Conclusion:

While Chocolatey Salted Caramel Pop-Tarts are far from the worst toaster pastries to eat for a quick breakfast, you might want to split a box of these with a friend or two, because their lack of uniqueness and distinct flavor is guaranteed to leave you bored and disinterested before you finish the oversized box.

Purchased Price: $3.68
Size: 16-pack
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 pastry) 200 calories, 50 calories from fat, 6 grams of total fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, and 2 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Great Value Frosted Mystery Toaster Pastries

Great Value Frosted Mystery Toaster Pastries

What is it?

Walmart’s store brand Great Value brings some excitement to your morning by releasing a Frosted Mystery Flavored Toaster Pastry. It comes in a fun multicolored box complete with question marks and a magnifying glass. The pastries themselves have white frosting and crunchy white bits but most intriguing is its clear filling that doesn’t give off any clues to its real flavor.

How is it?

As mentioned above, the mystery aspect is well executed throughout both the product and packaging. So well done in that regard. These also had a nice doughy taste that was pleasantly surprising.

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However, if we go back to the mystery flavor aspect of it, it might’ve been taken a little too far as I can’t figure out for the life of me what it could be. I enjoyed eating them as the mixtures of textures between the crunchy bits, frosting, dough, and sticky filling were all very satisfying. The flavor, though? I HAVE NO FREAKING CLUE.

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I ate an entire box, dissected one to isolate the filling, and even asked friends for help, but all to no avail. They have a sweet, definitely fruity taste but not enough flavor to lead my taste buds to anything more specific. I couldn’t even narrow it down to some potentials.

Is there anything else I need to know?

The ingredients list does offer up a morsel of info in that white grape juice concentrate is one of the things listed. However, upon further thought, this is likely how they executed the clear filling because it also does say natural flavors too.

Since toaster pastries are meant to be, well, toasted, I thought this action would help me out and unearth its true flavor. Did it work? Absolutely not. I was still stumped eating the warmed-up concoction.

Conclusion:

This is a decent store brand Pop-Tart that’s kind of tasty and fun with its white/clear elements that beg you to investigate the mystery! However, anticipation and excitement soon leads to frustration as you realize the flavor isn’t nearly intense enough to guide you anywhere. What a bummer.

Purchased Price: $1.00
Size: 6-pack
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 pastries) 390 calories, 9 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 250 milligrams of sodium, 74 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 40 grams of sugar and 3 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Rocky Road Trip Oreo Cookies

Limited Edition Rocky Road Trip Oreo Cookies

As National Ice Cream Month comes to a close, there’s only one non-frozen way to bid July adieu, and that’s with a brand spankin’ new Oreo.

Earlier in the month, Nabisco dropped its first 2018 ode to the creamy category with the Good Humor-branded Strawberry Shortcake Oreo, which tasted a lot like a really crunchy generic strawberry cookie. While I found that one a bit underwhelming, I know some folks loved it, and since I’m way more of a chocolate boy when it comes to ice cream, I’m vibin’ on the idea of Nabisco saving the best for last.

Rocky Road Trip Oreo is a cookie with marshmallow bits, rocky road-flavored crème, and, in an attempt to not only stay vegan but also nut free, the very clunky “soy nut inclusions.” I’ve never had a soy nut before, but if there’s a surefire easy way to get me to try something new it’s toss that oddity in an Oreo.

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Good news cookie travelers, this road trip isn’t all that rocky. The cookies are splattered sporadically with white marshmallow bits that give a nice chompy chew and immediate textural difference from the usual wafer.

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The crème is incredibly dark, gooey, and rich in a way that reminds me a lot of 2015’s Brownie Batter Oreo but with an extra marshmallow kick. A genuine vanilla-leaning sweet marshmallow flavor comes through convincingly with the melty chocolate. Although it’s not nearly as stiff, I get a little bit of that freeze-dried crunch to go along with ‘mallow taste.

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The only minor speedbump is the lack of nutty flavor. The soy nut inclusions within the crème do a great job of giving the chomp nuts would provide in a luscious scoop of rocky road, but I miss the fatty almond that finishes the rocky trinity that I truly desire. I understand why Nabisco chose to leave them out – no risk of allergy, lower in fat, and more cost-effective, but a touch of nuttiness would have gone a long way in making this cookie road trip closer to perfect.

Much less important, but also worth noting, is that the design of the package is excellent. A couple of cars traversing over a massive mount of rocky road sets the tone for an enjoyable snack, and between this and Ben & Jerry’s excellent Glampfire Trailmix, it feels like the once stale rocky road profile is making a whimsical comeback.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 10.7 oz. package
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Great chocolate marshmallow flavor. Nutty crunch. Rich decadent crème. Super fun packaging.
Cons: No nutty flavor to go along with the texture.

REVIEW: Pillsbury Donut Shop Glazed Donut Toaster Strudel

Pillsbury Donut Shop Glazed Donut Toaster Strudel

There are a few childhood joys that I vividly remember: snow days, skipping math class, faking a sick day, etc.

You get the idea.

Almost nothing could make me happier as a child than neglecting my education. The only thing that came close was seeing that mom had decided to splurge on Toaster Strudels instead of the unfrosted store brand Pop-Tart knock-offs that she usually bought. You got to frost them yourself! They were virtually fine dining in a toastable format.

It’s been years since I’ve eaten a Toaster Strudel, so I was excited to try Pillsbury’s new Donut Shop Glazed Donut Toaster Strudels. The box promises that they’re “Like a donut, but even better!” That’s a strong statement, but given my childhood affection for the pastries, I’m willing to give it the benefit of the doubt, even if it does come from a piece a sentient dough like the Pillsbury Doughboy.

Toasting the strudels for the manufacturer’s recommended 1 to 2 cycles at low to medium heat results nicely browned pastry. Even better is the sizzling sound they make while toasting. I don’t know if these can replicate a true donut flavor, but a little bit of fried taste would go a long way towards convincing me.

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I tried to recreate the frosting face from the box, but it got just as messy and disfigured as one might expect. It always frustrated me as a kid that I couldn’t get the frosting to look as lovely as on the box. It’s why I eventually just began to eat the frosting separately… Ok, that’s a lie. I ate the frosting separately because I couldn’t wait for the toaster to pop up. I would’ve failed the marshmallow test.

The first bite doesn’t disappoint. The crust is flaky and crisp, and there is indeed a flavor that’s reminiscent of a donut fresh out of the fryer. There’s a whiff of that weird artificial pastry flavor that frozen baked goods often have, but it’s not overpowering. (Don’t know what I’m talking about? Go smell a partially defrosted pot pie sometime.)

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The filling is strange. It’s plain. I was expecting the filling to deliver the glazed donut flavor if glazed donuts have a flavor besides “sweet,” but it doesn’t. It tastes like a simple vanilla filling. It’s not bad, but it means that these come much closer to replicating a Bavarian cream filled donut than a glazed. I guess I was hoping that Pillsbury food scientists would have somehow distilled the essence of the glazed donut and injected it into the pastry, but I’ll choose a filled over glazed donut any time.

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As a child, I ate childish things. When I became a man… I still eat childish things, but now I have to buy them myself instead of having mom do it. These are worth price even if they don’t live up to the promise of providing glazed donut flavor.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 pastry – 170 calories, 6 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 mg milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 10 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.59
Size: 6-pack
Purchased at:
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Crisp and flaky crust that gets a bit of fried flavor from the toaster.
Cons: It doesn’t really replicate the flavor of a glazed doughnut. It’s just a Toaster Strudel with vanilla filling.

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