Category: Reviews

REVIEW: Carl’s Jr. Pretzel Breakfast Sandwich

Tiffany 4 Comments

Carl's Jr. Pretzel Breakfast Sandwich

I love celebrating food holidays.

There’s Bagel Day (2/9), Potato Chip Day (3/14), Chinese Almond Cookie Day (4/9), Animal Cracker Day (4/18), Clams on the Half Shell Day (just kidding, don’t celebrate it, but it’s an actual food holiday on 3/31) and Pretzel Day (4/26)! Thanks to Carl’s Jr., I celebrated Pretzel Day first thing that morning with their new Pretzel Breakfast Sandwich.

Deviating from their breakfast biscuit ways, Carl’s Jr./Hardee’s brought in Auntie Anne’s for some pretzel expertise. Growing up, I always wished that my aunts were as cool as Anne and Jemima. The point is, I love me some Auntie Anne’s pretzels – definitely a mall staple. So naturally, I was way too excited for this collaboration.

I unfortunately set myself up for a let down because I didn’t read the product description beforehand – I just assumed “pretzel” meant something that would be like Auntie Anne’s soft pretzels, but in bun form. So, I expected coarse salt diamonds glittering on top of a dark brown carb mountain. Instead, the bun is more like a saltless, flattened poop emoji.

Carl's Jr. Pretzel Breakfast Sandwich 2

The pretzel roll just doesn’t get me going like soft pretzel does. It’s soft but too chewy. The soft part is very much like a dinner roll, but it’s a miss on the pretzel part. I get that pretzels themselves do have more of a bite to them but when I’m also trying to chew through ham, egg, and cheese, it doesn’t create a good mouthfeel.

Also, coming from a person who practically inhales her food – don’t judge me, I know there are other food inhalers out there – the extra 3-4 chews are unwelcome. Lastly, it’s completely missing that Auntie Anne’s pretzel fragrance a.k.a BUTTER (I hope you read that in Paula Deen’s voice). A pretzel is not a pretzel without the buttery fat – erm, I mean goodness?!

Carl's Jr. Pretzel Breakfast Sandwich 3

The rest of the sandwich has all the components of a hearty and satisfying breakfast sandwich. The first thing I noticed was the cheese on cheese; you can’t miss it because it’s melting everywhere onto the wrapping and bun. It’s a little messy and reminds me of Kraft Singles but it’s actually American and Swiss cheese. Taste-wise, there’s no distinction between the cheeses, but I don’t mind.

The cheese overload does get to be a bit much, but the extra sodium in the smoky ham helps to cut through the bun and cheese. If ham is not for you, the other porky options are bacon or sausage. The final component is the pillowy yellow egg. The egg actually looks like something that could come off of my pan at home.

But, what’s the point of being a Pretzel Breakfast Sandwich if the pretzel part doesn’t deliver? I’d actually prefer to eat this on a biscuit.

BRB, going to the mall for some real pretzels now.

(Nutrition Facts – 520 calories, 210 calories from fat, 23 grams of fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 210 milligrams of cholesterol, 1770 milligrams of sodium, 51 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 24 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Carl’s Jr.
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Celebrating food holidays! Components of a hearty and satisfying breakfast sandwich. Cheese on cheese.
Cons: Flattened Poop Emoji. Chewy. Lack of pretzel’s buttery goodness.

REVIEW: Burger King Whopper Dog

Marvo 11 Comments

Burger King Whopper Dog

I’ve tried the original Burger King Grilled Dogs and I thought they were nothing to hot dog emoji, smiley face, and thumbs up about. They’re okay fast food fare, and I’d probably buy them again if I wanted to giggle internally by buying hot dogs from a fast food chain with the word “burger” in its name.

The newest Grilled Dog is the Whopper Dog, which is exactly what you’re thinking it is — a way to use ingredients restaurants already have to create a new product that doesn’t cost much to develop, is easy to make, and can be rolled out to all locations without much effort. The Whopper Dog combines the same lettuce, tomatoes, onions (although chopped), pickles, mayonnaise, and ketchup on a Whopper with a flame-grilled 100 percent beef hot dog and fluffy bun.

I’m not sure mine was made correctly. If you look at the photo above or below, the hot dog appears to be the topping for the toppings.

While trying to fit the Whopper Dog into my mouth for the first time, the fluffy hot dog bun’s seam tore, making consumption an adventure. The ketchup and mayonnaise acted as a lubricant to make the lettuce, onions, pickles, and tomatoes fall out of my Whopper Dog at a rate equal to the 30th level of Tetris.

At first I thought the Whopper Dog was topped with a weird combo on ingredients. But after thinking about it, it’s not too weird. Half of the toppings — ketchup, onions, and pickles — are things one can usually find on a hot dog (I’m counting the pickles, since they’re kind of close to relish). And the lettuce and tomato don’t really have strong flavor profiles.

Burger King Whopper Dog 2

After trying it, the only topping that made this hot dog taste different was the mayonnaise. And combined with the ketchup they created a decent creamy tomatoey sauce that I thought was a tasty condiment for the wiener (yes, I know fry sauce). The pickles added a nice relish-like sour bite; the chopped onions added a little crunch and mild onion flavor; the sad, white lettuce also provided a slight crunch; and the tomatoes didn’t really do anything. They were more of an obligation than anything else.

The flame-grilled wiener’s flavor with the Whopper toppings doesn’t stand out as much as the flame-grilled patty does with those same toppings. Its flavor would’ve stood out more if it was thicker, but it was the same size as one of those you’d get from a $2 10-pack at the store.

What I most disliked about the Whopper Dog I received was its temperature. After taking my first bite, the first thought that came to my mind was, “There are too many cold ingredients.” I know nothing about thermodynamics, but the toppings seem to transfer their coldness to the wiener. I imagine the hot dog started off hot when it was being made, but by the time I started chomping on it, it was lukewarm. It brought down the whole experience.

Despite it being four-napkin messy and having a lukewarm small wiener, I somewhat enjoyed my Whopper Dog. All the ingredients give it a familiar Whopper flavor, and maybe I’m too much of a Whopper fanboy to completely hate on it. But it’s definitely not something to hot dog emoji, smiley face, and thumbs up about.

(Nutrition Facts – 380 calories, 24 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 1040 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 8 grams of sugar, and 11 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $6.99* (meal)
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Not horrible. Familiar Whopper flavor. An easy way for Burger King to come up with a new product.
Cons: Messy as heck. Wiener’s flavor doesn’t stand out very well among all the other ingredients. Ingredients may have brought down the temperature of my wiener. Tomatoes were useless.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

REVIEW: Hostess Brownies made with Milky Way

Ben 8 Comments

Hostess Brownies made with Milky Way

Do you remember the first time you had your heart broken?

I do. It all started when I found out that Ariel from The Little Mermaid wasn’t a real person that I could marry someday. I’ll admit, I was young and naive. I thought that maybe, despite her relationship with that stooge Prince Eric, if I told her how much I loved her, I might have a chance. Eventually, I realized there was a reason all of my letters to 123 Unda Da Sea Boulevard kept coming back marked “Return to Sender.”

But that was yesterday, and today is a new day. I’m ready to love again! And it’s perfect timing too, because I’ve got my eye on these gorgeous new Hostess Brownies made with Milky Way. They combine two of my favorite things — brownies and candy — so they’ve got to be the total package. I can already feel the love in the air. Or maybe that’s just my high cholesterol.

Hostess Brownies made with Milky Way 2

When I unwrapped the brownie, I couldn’t help but feel like I was on an episode of the MTV show Catfish. This brownie didn’t look anything like the perfectly lighted, Myspace-angled photo from the outer packaging. It was far less attractive, as though it had been frantically thrown together on the production line. The icing was an unsettling shade of tan, far from the rich caramel depicted in the photo on the box.

The brownie itself has a deep fudgy flavor. On its own, it’s decently moist and tastes strongly of cocoa. The problem is that those elements are only apparent when eaten separately from the icing. The icing, which is very sugary (and slightly chocolatey) but doesn’t carry any distinct caramel flavor whatsoever, dominates the brownie’s flavor and texture. Its sweetness overpowers the complexity of the fudge brownie, and the granularity of the icing results in an odd drying sensation when chewing the brownie altogether.

Hostess Brownies made with Milky Way 3

If all of that wasn’t disappointing enough, the Milky Way pieces add virtually nothing to the brownie. They don’t add the nougat-y, caramel-y flavor one usually associates with their namesake candy bars, and the pieces themselves aren’t substantial enough to be noticed against the larger brownie. The Milky Way candy pieces essentially blend in with the icing in each bite, in terms of both taste and texture.

So, consider this heartbreak number two. I was expecting a brownie doused in caramel and chunks of candy bars, but basically got a frosted chocolate cake. I enjoyed these to the extent that I enjoy chocolate cake, but I definitely wouldn’t use the word “love.”

(Nutrition Facts – 1 brownie – 170 calories, 60 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 80 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 20 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 9.1 oz box (6 brownies)
Purchased at: Hy-Vee
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Moist brownie. Rich, fudge flavor. Romantic relationships with cartoon characters and junk food. Sexy Myspace angles on snack cake packaging.
Cons: Lack of caramel flavor. Milky Way pieces are basically just there for decoration. Brownie feels dry when eaten with icing. Being told by the mailman that Unda Da Sea Boulevard is not a real place.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Frosted A&W Root Beer Pop-Tarts

Marvo 10 Comments

Kellogg's Frosted A&W Root Beer Pop-Tarts

I really expected to love these Kellogg’s Frosted A&W Root Beer Pop-Tarts, write a review that just said “G.O.A.T.,” drop a mic, light my keyboard on fire, do a touchdown dance, buy a new keyboard to write a Buzzfeed article with the title “Pop-Tarts You Have To Pop Into Your Toaster and Then Pop Into Your Mouth Right Now”, light the new keyboard on fire, flip a baseball bat, salute, and then walk away with two thumbs up raised above my head.

But after trying them at room temperature, toasted, chilled, frozen, and with a goat on a boat, I have to say these new soda-inspired Pop-Tarts aren’t the Greatest of All Time.

But they are good.

I think my expectations were too high (ya think) because of all the great root beer float-flavored snacks that have made their way onto shelves over the past few years. There’s been the Nabisco Ice Cream Creations Root Beer Float Chips Ahoy Cookies (awesome), Betty Crocker’s A&W Root Beer Float Cookie Mix (awesome), and Limited Edition Root Beer Float Oreo Cookies (good).

What I loved about the Chips Ahoy and Betty Crocker cookies was how the root beer flavor stood out. But what prevented the Root Beer Float Oreo Cookies from reaching the pantheon the other cookies did was how the Golden Oreo wafers muted the creme’s flavor. Unfortunately, that’s similar to what’s going on with these Pop-Tarts.

Kellogg's Frosted A&W Root Beer Pop-Tarts 2

I thought not having the “float” part in the toaster pastry would’ve made the root beer flavor stand out even more, but, sadly, the crust and frosting are the pillows that smother the root beer filling’s flavor. The crust, although dark in color which makes it appear it might be flavored, tastes like regular Pop-Tarts crust. The same can be said about frosting’s flavor. As for the brown, red, and orange crunchlets (yes, that’s what they’re officially called), they’re just decoration.

Kellogg's Frosted A&W Root Beer Pop-Tarts 3

The filling has the sugar and spices one would taste in A&W Root Beer, and it’s good, but, again, I do wish it was stronger. I thought toasting would help, but it doesn’t. I thought that was strange because with most Pop-Tarts the flavor hits my taste buds harder when toasted.

There’s no optimum way to eat them. I enjoyed them equally at room temperature, toasted, chilled, and frozen. Also, it may have just my imagination but I might’ve felt a little bit of fizzing.

Of all the big root beer brands — Barq’s, Mug, and A&W — A&W is my favorite. I can’t specifically explain why I like it, but drinking unlimited A&W Root Beer from a tap at an A&W Restaurant is one of favorite food-related memories. Tasting these Frosted A&W Root Beer Pop-Tarts probably won’t break into my list of favorite food memories. They also don’t make me want to walk away with two thumbs up raised above my head. But I’ll give them one thumbs up.

Disclosure: I received this sample for free from the Kellogg Company. Being free didn’t affect this review in any way. If it did, the whole review probably would’ve been just “G.O.A.T.”

(Nutrition Facts – 1 pastry – 200 calories, 45 calories from fat, 5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 15 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: FREE from Kellogg
Size: 8 pack
Purchased at: N/A
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Great idea. One thumbs up. Filling tastes like root beer. Fizzing? Enjoyable at room temperature, toasted, chilled, or frozen.
Cons: Not G.O.A.T. Crust and frosting hinder the root beer flavor. I wish root beer flavor was stronger. No Dr Pepper Pop-Tarts, yet.

QUICK REVIEW: Limited Edition Triscuit Sriracha Crackers

Marvo 2 Comments

Limited Edition Triscuit Sriracha Crackers

To be honest, I’m more interested in the Limited Edition Triscuit Sriracha box than the actual crackers inside of it. What can I say, the black box is sexy. You may disagree, but it definitely looks better than every Triscuit box that’s come before it.

The sexy box suggests putting shrimp, avocados, peanut sauce, and cilantro on the sriracha-seasoned crackers to make hors d’oeuvres. Since I don’t have fancy ingredients around me and shrimp makes me pass out, I ate them sans topping.

They have a sweet, savory, peppery, and garlicky flavor, and that’s almost everything I want sriracha flavoring to be. Yes, almost. It’s lacking in one of sriracha’s most notable characteristics — spiciness. The crunchy crackers barely register a blip of heat on my tongue. They’re Doritos Nacho Cheese spicy. But they’re also Doritos Nacho Cheese delicious, if you’re into sriracha.

Limited Edition Triscuit Sriracha Crackers 2

However, the crackers in the box had varying degrees of flavor. It’s easy to tell the differences by looking at them. Some looked like plain Triscuit, but had a light sriracha flavor; some had a stronger flavor and looked like they got caught in a paprika dust storm; and some were sriracha potent and so red that they could be served to folks waiting to get through the Gates of Hell.

Maybe it’s a production error or maybe it’s Triscuit getting back at me because I’ve always said Wheat Thins are better. But I think the seasoning should’ve been applied evenly on every cracker.

Limited Edition Triscuit Sriracha Crackers are a nice addition to the vast Triscuit lineup. But it’s a bit disappointing they’re a limited edition, not spicy, and the seasoning wasn’t applied evenly. If they were to fix those issues, I’d probably like them more than the sexy box they came in.

Purchased Price: $3.49
Size: 9 oz box
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (6 crackers) 120 calories, 35 calories from fat, 4 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 120 milligrams of potassium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.