REVIEW: Mtn Dew Kickstart Energizing Original Dew

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Mtn Dew Kickstart Energizing Original Dew

Mtn Dew Kickstart Energizing Original Dew is giving us a possible taste of the future…

…a dystopian future.

Oh, wait. I mean DEWstopian DEWture.

Over the past year or so, PepsiCo has made an effort to lower the amount of sugar in its beverages. In the Mtn Dew Universe, we’ve seen the advancement of this plan with most of the new flavors, like Ice and Game Fuel.

Instead of using only high fructose corn syrup (HFCS), they contain a cocktail of HFCS, sucralose, and acesulfame potassium. This has resulted in:

  1. Lower sugar amounts that are around half of previous Mtn Dew flavors.
  2. A flood angry tweets, Reddit comments, and Facebook posts from Dew fans chastising the change.

The original flavors have been immune to this, and, I believe, it’s been stated they will never change. But I feel as if the new Kickstart Energizing Original Dew is the toe being dipped into the radioactive green pool sweetened with HFCS, sucralose, and acesulfame potassium to find out if original Mtn Dew COULD change. Because this Kickstart flavor, which has that trio of sweeteners, is what I imagine the original would taste like if it’s reformulated to lower its sugar content.

From what I’ve experienced with those Dew flavors that have been cursed with the saccharine salmagundi, they’ve all tasted, for a lack of a better word, diet-y. And after taking my first sip of this, I thought someone secretly replaced what should’ve been in the can with a flat store brand version of Diet Mtn Dew. But it’s not quite like a diet soda since it has 20 grams of sugar per can. It looks and tastes as if it’s in the Dew family, but like a second cousin or something.

Mtn Dew Kickstart Ultra Energizing Original Dew

But while Kickstart Energizing Original Dew tastes like a diet knockoff, so does the Kickstart ULTRA version, a beverage with less than one gram of sugar per can. It’s able to accomplish this by swapping the HFCS with coconut water. This makes it taste a bit more diet-y than the regular one. It also makes it easier to drink. Actually, both are smoother than original and diet Dew.

Overall, I like both of these new Kickstart varieties, but I enjoy them as much as most of the others in the line. So they didn’t stand out, even though they’re based on the original.

I find them to be more palatable than regular Diet Mtn Dew and I like that they have a little bit more caffeine per ounce than the original soda. So if this is the future of original Mtn Dew, I’d be okay with it.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 can – Kickstart – 80 calories, 0 grams of fat, 170 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 20 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein and 90 milligrams of caffeine. Kickstart Ultra – 5 calories, 0 grams of fat, 180 milligrams of sodium, 1 gram of carbs, less than 1 gram of sugar, 0 grams of protein, and 90 milligrams of caffeine.)

Purchased Price: $1.89 each
Size: 16 fl. oz. can
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Kickstart)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Kickstart Ultra)
Pros: Less sugar than regular Mtn Dew. Better tasting than Diet Mtn Dew. Kickstart Ultra is a better name for Kickstart varieties with coconut water than Hydrating Boost.
Cons: Won’t be enjoyed by those who don’t like PepsiCo’s efforts to put less sugar in Mtn Dew. Tastes like what I imagine original Mtn Dew would taste like if PepsiCo tried to lower its sugar content. The DEWstopian DEWture

REVIEW: Diet Coke Feisty Cherry, Ginger Lime, Twisted Mango, and Zesty Blood Orange

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Diet Coke Feisty Cherry Ginger Lime Twisted Mango and Zesty Blood Orange

Diet soda drinkers are not exactly a fickle lot. Some people swear by Diet Pepsi without aspartame. Others with aspartame. Tab people are still kicking it like it’s 1985 and any true Texan wouldn’t be caught dead with a Mr. Pibb Zero over Diet Dr Pepper.

Which is all to say that Coke’s decision to launch a new flavored Diet Coke line is a bit of a head-scratcher.

As a diet soda drinker myself, I can understand the dividing lines of low-calorie beverages. We’re creatures of habit; obsessive compulsives; generally curmudgeonly and resistant to change. Also, we’re all going to get cancer and metabolic disorder and blah blah blah BUT STILL we’re willing to at least try a new diet soda, especially with the help of some (relatively) exotic names.

I love most orange-flavored things. However, unlike my childhood hero Kel Mitchell, I’m not crazy about the taste of orange soda, which lacks the body of a cola. Diet Coke Zesty Blood Orange cures all that; the orange flavor is robust but not bitter, lingering on as a component of the aftertaste but not stripping the soda of its cola roots. Why it took Coke this long to use orange as a flavor in a bottled or canned soda, I have no idea. But I’m happy it’s finally here.

I don’t know what twisted is supposed to convey as an adjective. Perverse? Physically contorted? Changed ever-so-slightly from the original intent that the word is basically meaningless? The last one seems to be the case when it comes to the taste of Twisted Mango. Meaningless adjectives aside, this is a good soda. Crisp, fruity but not overly tropical, with a sweeter finish than traditional Diet Coke, it just works. I can see Diet Coke with Lemon fans liking this one, which has a good mix of conservative Diet Coke appeal and unique flavor.

Moving right along, Feisty Cherry seems like a weird name for a soda. A 90s pop-rock artist or Kentucky Derby horse? Okay, I can see that. But a soda? Not really. In any event, the flavor comes across as a slightly muted black cherry, but it never really overcomes the carbonation. Where there was a distinct sweetness with Zesty Blood Orange, Feisty Cherry has a more traditional Diet Coke aftertaste, which I guess can be either a good or and thing depending on your preferences. Personally, I found it a less suitable imitator to Diet Cherry Dr Pepper, which I’m allowed to say because of the two years I lived in Texas.

Ginger Lime should have been the most exotic tasting flavor, but instead of some piquant and spicy flavor, it tastes like Diet Coke watered down with a generic (read: not Canada Dry) ginger ale. Not that I’m complaining, but the lack of ginger ale crossover makes this a disappointment.

Diet soda drinkers are not exactly a fickle lot, and because of that, I’m not sure how well received the new Diet Coke flavors will be, especially when Feisty Cherry and Ginger Lime fail to deliver on their aggressive names.

However, maybe that’s the point.

Since Diet Coke drinkers default back to the standby of Diet Coke, the generally non-offensive flavors probably won’t turn anyone off. That said, at least with the exception of Blood Orange, I doubt they’ll turn anyone on.

(Nutrition Facts – 12 oz – 0 calories, 0 calories from fat, 0 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 5 milligrams of sodium, 160 milligrams of potassium, 44 grams of carbohydrates, 7 grams of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $3.68
Size: 12-pack (12 oz. cans)
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Blood Orange)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Ginger Lime)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Feisty Cherry)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Twisted Mango)
Pros: Blood Orange has a crisp, sweet finish that tastes like a natural addition to traditional Diet Coke. Twisted Mango brings a tropical flavor to cola without overdoing it. Varied spectrum of flavors for those who don’t have access to a Coke Freestyle machine.
Cons: Aside from Blood Orange, flavors don’t necessarily wow you. Feisty Cherry tastes mostly like Diet Coke with Cherry. Ginger Lime fails to deliver the long-expected ginger ale-cola hybrid. Curmudgeonly Diet Coke drinkers.

REVIEW: Nestle Crunch Dark Bar (2018)

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Nestle Crunch Dark Bar 2018

If rebooting movies and TV shows will continue to be a thing, I guess rebooting candy bars is possible. While the wrapper says “NEW,” the Nestle Crunch Dark Bar made its debut as a limited edition candy way back in 2005.

Unlike dark chocolate bars that come from smaller chocolatiers with fancy names I’m not 100 percent sure how to pronounce, like Vosges, Dagoba, and Chuao, the Nestle Crunch Dark Bar doesn’t show off its cacao percentage. It keeps us in the dark by saying it’s just “dark.”

But unlike its 2005 version, this one tells us it’s made with 100 percent real chocolate and contains no artificial flavors or colors. So does that mean the original version wasn’t made with 100 percent real chocolate and contained artificial flavors and colors?

Wait! Don’t tell me! I don’t want my memories of the 2005 Nestle Crunch Dark Bar tainted because I loved it and was a little sad when it went away.

Nestle Crunch Dark Bar 2018 2

As you can probably guess, Crunch Dark is darker in appearance than the regular Crunch bar. But it’s not as dark as chocolate bars from companies whose names I’m not 100 percent sure how to pronounce that go into the 60-70 percent cacao range. The rice crisps are just as crunchy as those in the regular Crunch bar.

Nestle Crunch Dark Bar 2018 3

Its flavor straddles the line between milk and dark chocolate. It may disappoint those who love dark chocolate’s bitter bite, but it doesn’t disappoint me. To be honest, I probably would’ve liked this bar less if it was more bitter. What Crunch Dark does is make me realize that regular Crunch bars are too sweet. The darker chocolate tampers down the sweetness, but that positive brings up a different problem.

They’re easier to eat. Well, if you consider that a problem.

I don’t know if I’ve had so many regular milk chocolate Crunch bars over the years that my taste buds are tired of them, but Crunch Dark is better tasting. I enjoyed it in 2005 and I’m enjoying it in 2018.

Disclosure: After I purchased this from 7-Eleven, Nestle sent me a box filled with Crunch Dark Bars and a couple of bags of Buncha Crunch Dark that I didn’t know it was sending. I just thought I’d be transparent about that and let you know – now everyone say it with me – that it didn’t influence my review in any way.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bar – 220 calories, 12 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 30 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 21 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price:
Size: 1.55 oz. bar
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: I think they’re better than the original Crunch bar. Straddles the line between milk chocolate and dark chocolate. Reduced sweetness makes them easier to eat. The wonderful crunch from the rice crisps.
Cons: Might disappoint those who like their dark chocolate bitter. Reduced sweetness makes them easier to eat.

REVIEW: Mix by Sprite: Tropic Berry

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McDonald s Mix by Sprite Tropic Berry

Like many surly teenagers in the 90s with nothing better to do than loiter, I hung out way too many hours for my own good at the Target up the block from my house. The electronics department was a social hub for most of the boys in the neighborhood due to the fact that they had every current gaming system out in the open and set on free play. None of that demo nonsense that Sears did.

This was all well and good until the one of the managers would let us know in no uncertain terms that we had to buy something or leave. Squeezing every last minute of gameplay we could, those of us with a few spare quarters would pool together about 75 cents to buy a bottle of this new beverage that was seemingly only available at Target: Clearly Canadian.

With its sticky sweet, syrupy “clear” taste that mingled deliriously with a decidedly crisp berry sensation, we passed the bottle around like grade school hoboes warming themselves around an 8-bit barrel fire. Looking back, it was a flavor out of and ahead of it time, especially during the crystal cola wars of the 1990-somethings. Sure, after pounding three or four at a time, it gave us the worst headaches and a little bit of nausea on the way home to dinner, but for that price to stay and play, who gave a good gosh-darn.

It’s been a flavor sensation that I have been nostalgically chasing for almost 20 years and, while I always knew it would be those flavor wizards at Sprite that would probably be the ones to resuscitate that drinkable emotion, I had no idea it would be found on accident while I was looking for the Hi-C Orange Lava Burst cold filtered water button on a McDonald’s drink fountain.

McDonald s Mix by Sprite Tropic Berry 2

Going by the fake corporate DJ nom de plume of Mix by Sprite: Tropic Berry, this is most definitely the second coming of that Mountain Berry or Western Loganberry Clearly Canadian if there ever was one, right down to the high-fructose headache after excitedly slurping two large-sized cups of the carbonated beverage when, as an adult, you should really know better.

The typical lemon-lime zest of Sprite that we’ve come to expect is pushed down the taste scale pretty low to point of being barely noticeable as the artificially-flavored tropical (which tropic though?) berry (which berry though?) dominates proudly. It also comes complete with a tongue-coating aftertaste that will definitely call for at least a full cup of PowerAde Mountain Berry Blast cold filtered water to swig around as you leave the restaurant. Or Wal-Mart, if you’re in nasty and/or in Oklahoma.

McDonald s Mix by Sprite Tropic Berry 3

Mix by Sprite: Tropic Berry is definitely worth tracking down and most definitely worth the taste, if only for curiosity’s sake. While it is far too sickly sucrosed-up to be an everyday thing, it’ll make for a delightful once a week treat as you nosh on a Big Mac and fries. Just keep that bottle of aspirin on the ready. ¡Cómpralo ya!

(Nutrition Facts – (small only) – 100 calories, 0 calories from fat, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 55 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 27 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $1.00
Size: Large
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Great berry taste. Surprisingly crisp. Extremely refreshing.
Cons: Can be too much of a sweet thing. Bad aftertaste.

REVIEW: Peeps Mystery Flavors (2018)

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Peeps Mystery Flavors 2018

UPDATE: Apparently, if you look at the boxes the Mystery Peeps come packed in on store shelves, they’ll tell you what the flavors are. If you want spoilers, here you go (in no particular order).

In college, I studied Early Modern English, which includes the language of the King James Bible. When I read the Old Testament passage that talks about “wizards that peep, and that mutter,” I imagined something like chicks with pointed hats casting spells in a dungeon somewhere.

Peeps Mystery Flavor 2018 2

The Peeping wizards at Just Born have once again conjured up three mystery flavors of Peeps Marshmallows just in time for Easter. All three flavors are as white as Dumbledore’s beard, so there’s no way to tell them apart from each other, other than the packaging.

Peeps Mystery Flavor 1 of 3

The first flavor is familiar, and after a few seconds of chewing, it is obvious: root beer. I’m 90 percent confident on this. It could also be wintergreen since that’s a similar flavor, but root beer seems more likely. It’s not as strongly flavored as, say, a root beer barrel hard candy, but it’s decent. There’s a little whiff of sassafras in the package.

Peeps Mystery Flavor 2 of 3

The second flavor…I’m not so sure about. It has citric acid in the ingredients list, which is not in flavor 1. I want to say it tastes like purple conversation hearts, so grape, but it also tastes like the smell of lemon Lysol. Given my guesses of flavors 1 and 3, I’m going to guess, with 60 percent confidence, they were going for a soda theme and made this lemon-lime (aka Sprite). It’s OK.

Peeps Mystery Flavor 3 of 3

The third flavor is different from the other two, as far as ingredients go. It has fumaric acid (whatever that is) and pectin, and citric acid is higher in the ingredients label than in flavor 2. As a result, it has a slightly spongier texture and a slightly lower sugar content. This one is by far the most fragrant of the three, with a strong scent infiltrating my nostrils.

While I’m eating the marshmallow, I really can’t place the flavor. I know I’ve had it somewhere, but all I can taste is a summer day at the amusement park. Minutes after I have swallowed, the residual flavor tastes like Dr Pepper. Even though Dr Pepper is what I taste eventually, it’s not what I taste while the Peep is actually in my mouth, so I’m not sure. My guess is cherry cola, but I’m only 50 percent confident. I’m 30 percent confident on Dr Pepper (or whatever they call it to avoid trademark issues), and I’m 20 percent clueless.

All of them are pleasant enough flavors and a nice change from the original, but I doubt I would buy them if they made them regular flavors. They’re not very memorable. Flavor 1 is the best of the three. My final verdict on the flavors: root beer, lemon-lime soda, and cherry cola.

But guessing was harder than I expected. If I get them wrong, will the Peeping wizards revoke my reviewer’s license?

And when I told my dad I was reviewing mystery-flavored Peeps, he thought I said Listerine-flavored. There’s an idea for next year, Just Born!

(Nutrition Facts – 4 chicks – Flavors #1 and #2 – 110 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 0 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 24 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein. Flavor #3 – 100 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 0 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 23 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Purchased Price: $1.24 each
Size: 3 oz./10 chicks
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10 (#1 of 3)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (#2 of 3)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (#3 of 3)
Pros: Root beer is obvious and the best of the three. Pleasant enough flavors. They keep you guessing. It’s nice that they’re doing something fun with an otherwise boring treat.
Cons: It’s frustrating when you can’t guess! Not memorable flavors. Nutrition facts are not identical. Peeping wizards revoking your reviewer’s license.

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