REVIEW: 7-Eleven Mint Oreo Hot Chocolate

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7 Eleven Mint Oreo Hot Chocolate

I’ve never been a big fan of buying hot chocolate from a gas station, food truck, or stand. Why fork out that money when you can go home and make your own from a powder? It’s a lot cheaper, and you won’t waste a disposable cup.

But, strangely, there’s something alluring about buying food from 7-Eleven. It might be overpriced garbage, but it’s tasty garbage. A guilty pleasure.

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When I filled up my cup with 7-Eleven’s Mint Oreo Hot Chocolate, I was excited about how thick, chocolatey, and sugary it looked. What could be better than that on a foggy, freezing day? But it would be several minutes before I would actually get to try it.

First of all, it was very steamy when it came out, and I wouldn’t be able to taste it if I scalded my tongue. Second, I didn’t want to be tasting it and taking pictures there in the 7-Eleven. Would people be judging me? (I did some judging of my own at 7-Eleven: I was grateful the cashier didn’t touch my cup or give me a receipt because she had just sneezed into her hand. Srsly, people, Dracula sneeze!)

And third, I recently got a new car, so I made it a rule not to eat or drink in it. I put my cup in the cup holder and didn’t touch it until I got to my work’s parking lot.

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When I finally tasted it, it had cooled but was still warm. It fulfilled its purpose as hot chocolate: warm, chocolatey, comforting.

Unfortunately, it fulfilled its purpose as Mint Oreo Hot Chocolate in all the wrong ways. The mint flavor was only subtle, and the Oreo flavor was even more subtle. A few sips almost seemed bland. Yet the one way it did seem like an Oreo was in a slimy, oily mouthfeel. It felt like I had a wad of Oreo creme in my mouth, but without the satisfaction of that actually happening. They left out the best part of a Mint Oreo (the flavor) but kept the worst (the post-cookie mouthfeel).

During the cooling period, a lot of the flavor had settled to the bottom, so the last few sips were better than the rest had been. I thought, “Oh, maybe it’s not so bad.” But then it occurred to me: if I had drunk it before the flavor had settled out, it would have been more flavorful than most of my experience, but it still would have been more diluted than the end. As it was, I thought the dregs were on the low end of the flavor I would have liked.

If your car breaks down on a winter’s day and you’re stuck next to a 7-Eleven, the Mint Oreo Hot Chocolate would comfort you against the chill. Otherwise, you’re better off making your own from powder and dropping in a candy cane.

(Nutrition Facts – Not available on 7-Eleven’s website.)

Purchased Price: $1.49
Size: 12 oz. cup
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Fulfills its purpose as hot chocolate: warm, chocolatey, comforting.
Cons: The mint and Oreo flavors are subtle. Leaves an unpleasant mouthfeel. Less economical than making your own.

REVIEW: McDonald’s Signature Swiss Mushroom Melt

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McDonald s Signature Crafted Mushroom Swiss Melt

Peeling back the bun of my McDonald’s Signature Swiss Mushroom Melt revealed that the employee who made my burger obviously has something against mushrooms and wanted to punish the ones in my order by drowning them in the garlic and herb spread.

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Or maybe that’s how they’re made because the promo photos my local McDonald’s have been posting to social media show a liberal amount of spread. Either that or the burger has rabies.

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(Image via Hawaii McDonald’s Twitter.)

Along with the garlic and herb condiment, my McDonald’s Swiss Mushroom Melt featured seasoned, grilled mushrooms, two slices of Swiss cheese, and a 1/4 lb. beef patty on a sesame seed bun. Much like other Signature Crafted Recipes, you can also have it made with crispy or grilled chicken and get it with an artisan roll.

If you like mushroom and Swiss burgers because of those two ingredients, this one will disappoint. The spread hides the flavors of the shrooms and Swiss as effective as a Klingon cloaking device hides a Bird-of-Prey ship. But the sauce also hides the fact that the beef patty is somewhat dry.

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It might’ve not been so bad if the spread was flavorful, but it doesn’t have a strong garlic or herb presence. It’s mild enough to negate the flavors of the mushroom and cheese, but not strong enough to give it a memorable flavor. Yes, even with all that sauce blasted onto the mushrooms. The beef patty’s flavor does come through a little, but that doesn’t make this burger worth it.

I can understand the reasoning behind adding the garlic and herb spread. Every time McDonald’s comes out with a new burger line there’s bound to be a mushroom and Swiss version and they’re all pretty much the same — sautéed mushrooms, mayo, and Swiss cheese. The condiment makes it different, but, unfortunately, it doesn’t make it better.

NOTE: This is only available in select markets.

Purchased Price: $5.39
Size: N/A
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Not available on McDonald’s website.

REVIEW: Lindt Lindor Limited Edition Gingerbread Milk Chocolate Truffles

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Lindt Lindor Limited Edition Gingerbread Milk Chocolate Truffles

I know there are Santa-hatted zombies who advocate for the head first consumption of anthropomorphic treats. But as gingerbread-based lifeforms are known to bolt at the first sign of milk, I prioritize immobilization.

With no central nervous system, a headless treat may leave your cookie craving unfulfilled. For inexperienced or squeamish cookie eaters, Lindt is offering up Lindor Limited Edition Gingerbread Truffles. Sourced from the finest cuts of cookie anatomy, the classic Lindor milk chocolate shell is infused with gingerbread cookie pieces encapsulating a gingerbread truffle filling.

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The cookie bits add a pleasant grit to the standard and delicious chocolate shell, but all of the limited edition flavor comes by way of the creamy truffle center. As gingerbread cookies are far from creamy in their natural state, liquefying them must be a disturbing transmogrification that only those haunted by the memories of gingerbread houses gone awry can stomach.

The trauma of these tortured souls is evidenced by their Bond-villain like maniacal laughter as licorice bound gingerbread people are slowly lowered into magmatic vats of palm kernel oil.

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Unfortunately, the disturbingly produced core is much sweeter than any gingerbread cookie I’ve eaten and comes across with almost floral notes. These Mr. Big inspired chocolatiers must take particular umbrage with the housewives of the ginger-burbs where saccharin-based Botox is all the rage. A little less literal sweet revenge and a bit more bitter molasses may have produced a better balance and left a few more cookie families intact for the holidays.

While I possess the confectionary architectural aptitude of a blind Fraggle, I hold no ill will towards gingerkind. Even so, Lindor Gingerbread Truffles are worth trying for the novelty, but I will embrace my role as the apex predator of cookie munching interspersed with bites of a standard truffle when the mood for both strikes.

Purchased Price: $5.94
Size: 8.5 oz. bag
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (3 Balls) 220 calories, 17 grams of fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 35 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, 14 grams of sugar, 1 gram of dietary fiber, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Hershey’s Triple Chocolate Cookie Layer Crunch Bars

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Hershey s Triple Chocolate Cookie Layer Crunch Bars

There are certain flavor combinations that are self-explanatory.

Whether it’s in Pop-Tart or donut form, s’mores is going to have elements of graham, chocolate, and marshmallow. While something birthday cake-flavored is going to taste like frosting, vanilla cake, and seven-year-old stale sprinkles.

Triple Chocolate is a bit more ambiguous. I feel like there was a time in my life when triple chocolate meant you were getting blasts of dark, milk, and white chocolate in one bite. Those days are long gone, shattered by internet killjoys armed with an air of self-importance and a Wikipedia link explaining that white chocolate IS NOT chocolate.

Subsequent moralizing about faux white chocolate’s adverse dietary effects, not to mention the gentrification of all things cocoa-related, caused candy companies to shop the free agency market to assemble a dream team of chocolate role players.

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Bittersweet, German, ganache, fudge, semisweet, Mexican, nibs, chocolate marshmallow, and “chocolaty” have all had their five minutes of fame in the trifecta, but for Hershey’s latest take on its Cookie Layer Crunch Bars, chocolate cookie pieces and chocolate crème join the milk chocolate rectangles.

Let’s get this out of the way: The graphic designer doing the box artwork should get a raise because the detail on the box is hardly what you see when you bite into each three-square bar.

For example, the box artwork makes the chocolate crème look like the cocoa equivalent of molten lava, but if there’s any ganache-like viscosity to the crème, Hershey’s must have left it in the factory. To be honest, it’s hard to pick out the crème as a distinct textural element at all.

Thankfully, there is some truth in advertising.

The crème, although chameleon-like in appearance, has a rich dark chocolate flavor that dissolves on your tongue and finishes each bite. It works especially well because it’s a nice contrast to the crunchy Dutch chocolate taste of the cookie pieces, which remind me of Chips Ahoy! Double Chocolate Cookie Thins.

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As much as I like the cookie pieces and the crème, I couldn’t help but think the bar gets dragged down by the run-of-the-mill chocolate shell. There’s nothing wrong with the taste and texture of Hershey’s milk chocolate per se, but its familiarity and rather pedestrian chocolate taste frame the entire bar in an air of, well, averageness.

Average chocolate shell aside, Hershey’s Triple Cookie Layer Crunch Bars are a cool upgrade from the original bar. It also makes a strong case that triple chocolate (the flavor, that is) should keep cookie pieces and crème around for another season.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 pieces – 210 calories, 13 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 18 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $3.49
Size: 6.3 oz. package/9 pieces
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Awesome crunchy cookie taste in candy bar form. Chocolate crème gives the filling a rich dark chocolate complexity. Premium aesthetic in the packaging.
Cons: Chocolate crème is underrepresented and doesn’t have the gooey texture it does in the promo pic. Hershey’s milk chocolate feels pedestrian alongside other chocolate elements. The inability of candy and snack companies to assemble a triple chocolate dynasty.

REVIEW: Ben & Jerry’s Special Stash Marshmallow Moon Ice Cream

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Ben Jerry s Special Stash Marshmallow Moon Ice Cream

The backstory behind Ben & Jerry’s Special Stash Marshmallow Moon Ice Cream is that it was one of the options to replace Late Night Snack when Jimmy Fallon moved over The Tonight Show. But it lost to The Tonight Dough.

After trying Marshmallow Moon and realizing it’s the superior flavor, I began to wonder if The Tonight Dough becoming the official flavor of The Tonight Show was a conspiracy.

So I put on my tin foil hat and took deep dives into ice cream dark forums; watched on YouTube the unveiling of The Tonight Dough in slow motion, sped up, and in reverse; and talked to cows. And the conclusion I’ve come to is that Marshmallow Moon wasn’t selected because it didn’t rhyme well with The Tonight Dough.

Sure, The Mallow Moon-ight Show might’ve worked, but not as well.

Tin foil hat removed and, I’m sure Ben & Jerry’s would appreciate this, recycled.

But now we can all enjoy Marshmallow Moon. Although it’s a limited edition flavor that’s only available at Ben & Jerry’s Scoop Shops and the brand’s online store for three or four more dollars than one should pay for a pint.

The ice cream is influenced by the iconic MoonPie and does it without having to mention MoonPie or pay a royalty fee to use the MoonPie trademark. It features vanilla ice cream, marshmallow and graham cracker swirls, and fudge chunks.

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I’ve mentioned in previous reviews how much I love Ben & Jerry’s squishy marshmallow swirl and gritty graham cracker swirl. You could say I’m over the moon with them. Sorry. That’s the only lunar reference I’ll make.

It’s nice to be able to experience both of them with vanilla ice cream, which allows their flavors to shine more than they would with another ice cream base. The marshmallow swirl has a vanilla sweetness that’s different than the ice cream and the graham cracker swirl has a bit of honey flavor. They’re wonderful together and I’m glad my pint has a lot of them.

The fudge chunks, while necessary to complete the whole MoonPie homage, are annoying. Like chaperones at a school dance, I understand why they’re there, but wish they weren’t. Their chocolate flavor overwhelms the other components. I ended up shoving them to the side so I could experience a ménage a quad with the ice cream and swirls.

Ben & Jerry’s Special Stash Marshmallow Moon has the elements of a MoonPie, but since it’s been so long since I’ve had one, I can’t say tastes like it. But it’s a great flavor if you avoid the fudge chunks. With that said, as much as I enjoyed it, I wouldn’t spend $7 to buy it again. But if it becomes a regular flavor I can buy from a grocery store, I’d buy it again.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – 290 calories, 140 calories from fat, 16 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 105 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 26 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $6.99
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Ben & Jerry’s online store
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Graham cracker and marshmallow swirls. Better than The Tonight Dough which is too much of a hodgepodge of ingredients. Looking forward to future Special Stash flavors.
Cons: Fudge chunks gets in the way of the swirls. Only available from Scoop Shops and Ben & Jerry’s online store.

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