REVIEW: Baskin-Robbins Oreo Cheesecake Ice Cream

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Baskin Robbins Oreo Cheesecake Ice Cream

The crafty cookie-obsessed churners at Baskin-Robbins entered the middle of 2017 facing a real dilemma. How the hell could they make another dessert-themed frozen dessert with the iconic Oreo?

It isn’t enough that the chain always stocks Cookies n’ Cream and now has Golden Oreo ’N Churro as a summer seasonal. Even last month’s All About Oreo couldn’t possibly quench America’s thirst for the beloved sandwiched “white stuff.” There needed to be another…layer.

After malted chocolate and cake batter and birthday cake and cereal and mint, there’s seemingly only one place to go – the decadent, heavy, cheesecake. One of the oldest desserts in history, which was allegedly served to athletes at the first Olympic Games, was destined to make sweet creamy magic with Nabisco’s #1 seller during the 50th anniversary of the Summer of Love. Baskin-Robbins’ Oreo Cheesecake combines Oreo cookie pieces, cheesecake pieces, and a chocolate cookie crumb ribbon in cheesecake flavored ice cream.

The base is immediately apparent with a distinct tanginess that jumps out from the first bite and doesn’t fade. It’s smooth, velvety, and delicious with a good balance of sweet and savory. Oddly, the tang reminds me a little bit more of Greek yogurt than cheesecake, as I don’t get any particular cheesiness coming through. But the point gets across and I don’t think I’m eating vanilla or sweet cream.

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The cheesiness goes up a notch with the actual cheesecake pieces. They’re like those small-to-medium sized ones you can find at build your own frozen yogurt shops. They’ve maintained their squishy-dense texture and give off a hint of graham cracker crust flavor that pops against the tangy ice cream base.

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I worried about the redundancy of the Oreo pieces and cookie crumb ribbon, but the two are distinct and interwoven very well throughout the scoop. The ribbon is more akin to what you find in typical cookies and cream flavors, with some good gritty texture and mellow bitter cocoa notes.

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Much more prominent are the bigger pieces of Oreo cookie, which have entire layers of creme filling intact. They’re a welcomed sweet element to temper the tang of the cheesecake. The wafer cookies soften and soak up the creamy goodness, and the sizes of the mix-ins are pretty big for Baskin-Robbins’ standards which makes the whole experience elevated and impressive for what I expect at a chain shop.

It’s a pretty simple recipe – Oreo and cheesecake. Baskin-Robbins could’ve been lazy with this one and made a cookies & cream ice cream with a cheesecake base, but they didn’t. By hitting each element from two different angles, this monthly special is one of the more enticing in recent memory. It’s worth scooping up to end the last full month of summer on a blissfully tangy sweet frozen note.

(Nutrition Facts – 4 oz. scoop – 300 calories, 150 calories from fat, 17 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 22 grams of sugar, and 5 grams of protein..)

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 4 oz. scoop
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Tangy creamy cheesecake base. Ample cheesecake chunks. Big pieces of Oreo cookie with distinguishable creme.
Cons: Tang is a little closer to yogurt than cheesecake.

REVIEW: Limited Edition PB&J Oreo Cookies

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Limited Edition PB J Oreo Cookies

If you’re holding a grudge against Oreo for temporarily ruining your taste buds with its Swedish Fish flavor or turning your poop pink with Peeps Oreo, Limited Edition PB&J Oreo might be the olive branch that causes you to forgive.

The sandwich cookie features a creme layer that’s half peanut butter-flavored and half raspberry jelly-flavored between two Golden Oreo wafers. It’s disappointing Nabisco didn’t use their Oreo Thins technology to stack two thin creme layers on top of each other to make it look more like a PB&J sandwich and less like Grimace lying on top his own filth after drinking too many McDonald’s chocolate shakes.

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The peanut butter creme has a pleasant balance of sweet and salty. I haven’t had Peanut Butter Oreo Cookies in a long time, so I’m not sure if this one tastes similar. But when I lick the creme and eat the cookie, Nutter Butter pops into my head. The jelly creme tastes like the same one used in the Limited Edition Jelly Donut Oreo. While I didn’t care for it with that cookie, I like it in this one. While it has an artificial raspberry flavor when eaten alone, it’s turns into a generic berry flavor when eating a whole cookie.

When the two cremes come together in one bite, it brings a smile to my face because the cookie hits the PB&J flavor target. There’s the right balance between the two cremes, one flavor doesn’t overwhelm the other. These cookies make Smuckers Uncrustables seem more like Unbearables. The Golden wafers are great as the “bread” for these cookies because, while sweet, they’re also mild enough to allow the cremes to shine.

These cookies are delightful, so much so that I’d bet money we’ll be seeing these as a permanent or returning flavor in the future. Also, let me include more praise by stating this is one of my Top 5 favorite limited edition Oreo cookies.

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While wonderful, I do have some minor issues with it. The way the creme layer is forces us to bite into a particular side to get both flavors in our mouths. Approach it from the wrong side and you end up with all peanut butter or all jelly. Of course, one can overcome that by shoving the whole cookie into your mouth like a competitive Oreo eater.

Also, raspberry jelly is an odd choice. If I was playing Family Feud and Steve Harvey asked me “Name me a jelly flavor you’d put on a PB&J sandwich,” I’m sure answering “raspberry” wouldn’t be any help towards getting to 200 points.

So to all who have been burned by previous Oreo flavors, the Limited Edition PB&J Oreo is one helluva “I’m Sorry” card from Nabisco.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 140 calories, 50 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 25 milligrams of potassium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Purchased Price: Too much from eBay
Size: 10.7 oz. package
Purchased at: Kroger (by eBay seller)
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Does PB&J well. Peanut butter reminds me of Nutter Butter. Jelly creme works better with this cookie than Jelly Donut Oreo. Possible future varieties, like strawberry jelly, grape jelly, or crunchy peanut butter creme.
Cons: Raspberry jelly seems like an odd choice for jelly. Creme is half peanut butter and half jelly, not two layers on top of each other. Currently a Kroger-exclusive.

REVIEW: Great Value Tropickles

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Great Value Tropickles

I’ve long believed in the old marketing axiom that there’s no such thing as a bad idea, only bad execution. Even a relatively unimpressive or unappetizing product can become a must-buy depending on how well it’s presented to the public. For example, I don’t think anybody genuinely enjoyed Orbitz soda, but everybody alive in the late 1990s at least gave it a try and still remember it vividly to this day.

Walmart’s proprietary Tropickles, on the other hand, is the epitome of a badly executed novelty food. Instead of coming off as kooky and kitschy the product looks, smells, and tastes trashy and tawdry. Superficially and suprafacially, it’s one of the worst things I’ve ever put in my mouth; it’s so bad, the only word I can think to describe it is execrable.

Everything about this product is hideous. The packaging is ultra-generic and the sight of swampy vegetables floating up and down in pinkish-red fluid is stomach-churning. And as soon as you pry off the lid, things get really nauseating.

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There’s nothing particularly offensive about fruit punch, even the low-tier, store brand stuff. There’s also nothing particularly offensive about canned pickles (unless, of course, you have a strong aversion to tart foods.)

Alas, when you force the two to co-habitate in the same glass jar, the chemical reaction is repugnant. The combination of lukewarm sugar water, wilting cucumbers and a ton of vinegar results in a scent comparable to rotten produce doused in Kool-Aid, this sickly sweet odor that keeps alternating between hummingbird nectar and a compost heap.

Then there are the visuals. There’s no genteel way to put it – the pickles look like bloody turds. Did any of you kids ever see that great B-horror movie from the 1980s called Slugs? Well, if you haven’t, the Tropickles are exactly what the monsters in that flick resembled. Come to think of it, maybe Walmart should’ve saved these things for Halloween and rebranded them as pickled snakes in elf blood or something – at least then they could’ve promoted it as intentionally disgusting.

As bad as the scent is and as bad as the pickles look, though, the taste is even worse. You get sporadic moments of watered-down sweetness and you get occasional bursts of traditional dill pickle flavor, but for the most part all your taste buds can detect is pure ick.

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The fruit punch juice makes the pickles mushier and more acidic than normal, and the goulash of vinegar and sugar water taints them with a rubbery bitterness. Really, it doesn’t even taste like food after a couple of bites; if you want to simulate the flavor, aroma and even mouthfeel of Tropickles, find a menthol cigarette chain smoker and ask them to cram their tongue down your esophagus.

All in all, these Tropickles might be the worst thing I’ve ever eaten that wasn’t sold at Dollar Tree. Remember earlier when I said there’s no such thing as a “bad idea” when it comes to gimmick foods? Well, scratch that – “putting pickles in fruit punch” is about as bad as it gets.

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 a spear – 25 calories, 0 calories from fat, 0 grams of total fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 mg of cholesterol, 260 mg of sodium, 6 grams of total carbs, 0 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $1.78
Size: 24 oz. jar
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 1 out of 10
Pros: If you’re mugged in the parking lot, the jar makes a great impromptu bludgeoning weapon. The bottle is probably heavy enough to keep a small door open.
Cons: …literally everything else.

REVIEW: Taco Bell Beefy Potato-rito

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Taco Bell Beefy Potato rito

Potatoes.

It’s an ingredient some of you may not realize is available at Taco Bell. It doesn’t get as much love on the menu as seasoned ground beef, reduced fat sour cream, or shredded lettuce.

So all this time you could’ve had a Mexican Pizza topped with potatoes, a Taco Salad topped with potatoes, or a Breakfast Crunchwrap, that already has hash browns, and added potatoes to it.

While Taco Bell’s potatoes don’t usually get center stage, it’s gotten a little love with the new Beefy Potato-rito. The “beefy” is the seasoned beef. The “potato” part is the seasoned crispy potatoes. And, I guess, the cheddar cheese, nacho cheese sauce, chipotle sauce, and flour tortilla represent the “-rito.” The menu item is a dollar at most Taco Bell locations, but, after eating it, it seemed like I got more than I paid for.

But I’m not talking about the extra curricular restroom activities that folks joke about when it comes to eating Taco Bell.

It’s hefty for something on the value menu. That’s due to the Mr. Potato Head’s head amount of potatoes in it. There’s enough that you’ll get spuds in every bite. It’s not a forearm-huge burrito, and I wasn’t expecting one for something you can buy with pocket change, but the cubes of carbs make it filling.

The seasoning on them is hard to detect because of the creamy sauces. Their insides are fluffy, but they’re not crispy on the outside. But that’s understandable since they’re sitting in a flour tortilla cocoon with other hot ingredients. I imagine it’s like a sauna, except instead of using water to create steam, it’s chipotle sauce.

Speaking of the chipotle sauce, it’s the highlight of the burrito, providing a smoky flavor and a little kick. It adds a bit more flavor to the standard seasoned beef and goes well with potatoes. If I could buy a serving of the spuds a la carte, I’d eat them with the sauce and call it Chipo-tatoes.

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As for the other ingredients, I’m not sure why there’s shredded cheddar cheese, because it doesn’t add anything. Its flavor gets lost among the nacho cheese and chipotle sauces. So why have it? Does the dairy industry have dirt on Taco Bell that gets released if a shredded cheese quota isn’t met?

The nacho cheese sauce gives the burrito a creaminess and, of course, cheesiness that goes well with the cubes of starch. If I could buy a serving of the potatoes a la carte, I’d eat them with the cheesy sauce and call it Potat-chos.

Overall, I enjoyed the Beefy Potato-rito. It fulfills everything I expect from a Taco Bell item — it’s filling, inexpensive, and tastes good.

(Nutrition Facts – 450 calories, 24 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 1030 milligrams of sodium, 45 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 14 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $5.75 (Beefy Potato-rito Box)
Size: N/A
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tasty. Inexpensive. Potatoes give the burrito a bit more heft than other Taco Bell value menu items. Chipotle sauce.
Cons: Potatoes aren’t crispy and seasoning does come through with all the other sauces included. Why is there shredded cheddar cheese?

REVIEW: Krispy Kreme Reese’s Peanut Butter Doughnut

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Krispy Kreme s Reese s Peanut Butter Doughnut

How many ways are there to eat a Reese’s? Aside from the classic cup formation, there are many candy offshoots, a breakfast cereal, spreads, Chips Ahoy! cookies, Baskin-Robbins ice cream, Breyers ice cream, and on and on. Apparently, people like Reese’s.

Coming in right as the dog days of summer settle in with increasing heat and laziness, Krispy Kreme unleashed a morning confection that features a classic yeast doughnut filled with Reese’s Peanut Butter Kreme, dipped in milk chocolate icing, topped with Reese’s Peanut Butter Chips and chopped peanuts, and finished with a drizzle of chocolate and peanut butter. Whew. Are you still breathing? I’m not sure that I am.

This doughnut is a thing of beauty. It feels heavy in the hand and looks like a million lip smackin’ peanut buttery bucks. The light brown drizzle is exactly as advertised, and is straight peanut butter that squishes and moves to the touch. I was anticipating an icing or frosting with some firmness but it maintains its gooey-ness, and as I lick it off of my fingers, it is salty and fatty in all the right ways.

Biting in is a revelation of Krispy-meets-Reese’s indulgence that is damn near everything I had hoped it would be. Given KK’s notoriously sweet reputation I’m shocked by the restrained and balanced sweetness in the overall flavor. The rich fattiness from the peanuts and peanut butter on top mingle with the chocolate icing and chips for the ultimate topping yin and yang, pairing wonderfully with the pillowy, soft, not at all greasy, and not at all sweet yeast doughnut. The toppings do well to boost the intention of the doughnut but also bring a solid crunch to push up against the abundant fresh softness of the chew itself.

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The highlight of this Krispy masterpiece, and likely what will draw most people to want to try it, is the Reese’s Kreme filling. Krispy Kreme’s usual kreme is smooth and very sweet with vanilla undertones. It has many similarities to the filling made famous by Hostess and Little Debbie. This filling takes that same thick, slightly whipped texture and tempers it flawlessly with rich peanut butter-y notes that are juuussst sweet enough to honor the iconic candy. It’s smooth and velvety with a bold nuttiness that still leaves enough room for a little of that signature KK filling flavor to sneak through. My one minor complaint is I wish there was a bit more filling, as both ends of the doughnut were a bit naked.

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Simply put, this doughnut tastes better than it costs, and for $1.59 it is an absolute steal and must-try for any peanut butter or fried dough aficionado. With a touch more chocolate and a hint more filling, the chain pastry world would be looking at a perfect 10, but no matter how I try and nitpick, I already want another one.

(Nutrition Facts – 400 calories, 220 calories from fat, 24 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 42 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 21 grams of sugar, and 7 grams of protein..)

Purchased Price: $1.59
Size: N/A
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Amazingly balanced sweetness. Beautiful peanut butter kreme. Real peanut butter drizzle. Soft pillowy fresh yeast base.
Cons: Could use a touch more chocolate and PB filling…but truly it’s a struggle to find a weakness here.

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