REVIEW: Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch

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Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch

I thought the new Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch was going to be this generation’s Post Oreo O’s.

Not familiar with the discontinued Post Oreo O’s because you’re too young to remember or you avoid all things awesome? Well let’s just say Post created an Oreo-branded cereal that really didn’t taste like Oreo cookies but was still so damn good that I wish I owned a DeLorean with a flux capacitor so that I could go back in time, fill said DeLorean with boxes of Post Oreo O’s, and then spend the next couple of weeks in a sugar-induced comatose.

If you’re too lazy to do a Google Image search to see what this cereal among cereals looks like, I’ll describe it to you.

Imagine an O-shaped cereal, like Apple Jacks. Now remove the red cinnamon spots on the cereal and replace it with a whole lot of white sugary spots that’ll make it look like it was in the spittle range of someone who sneezed on a pile cocaine. Next, replace the green or orange color of the Apple Jacks cereal with black. Yes, the color of death (and Oreo cookies). However, in this case it’s the color of chocolatey deliciousness.

Yes, I just spent the first 200 words of this Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch review describing another cereal. But I brought up Post Oreo O’s because the high expectations I had for that heavenly cereal are the same I had for this cereal. Seriously. Think about it. Doesn’t Oreo cereal sound like one of the greatest ideas for a cereal? If you’re saying no, you’re lying to yourself and your sweet tooth. Now, doesn’t Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch also sound like one of the greatest ideas for a cereal? Cocoa Puffs PLUS brownies!?! The name alone makes me go a little cuckoo.

Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch may sound like one of the greatest ideas for a cereal, but, sadly, it’s far from a great cereal.

Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch Naked

What disappoints me the most is that, despite being a cereal that appears to be different than regular Cocoa Puffs, Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch tastes like regular Cocoa Puffs. Actually, it starts off kind of tasting like Cookie Crisp and then ends up tasting like Cocoa Puffs, but that’s still disappointing. It makes me want to stuff Sonny the Cuckoo Bird into an oven and have him as part of my complete breakfast.

Also, speaking of Cookie Crisp, the pieces of Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch with their tiny bits of chocolate attached to them look like the burnt square rejects from the Cookie Crisp factory.

There were only two things about this cereal that impressed me. It did take awhile for it to get soggy in milk and if you leave the cereal wading in milk long enough, it does turn the milk chocolatey. Although, it’s kind of scary it stays crunchy in milk for as long as it does because it makes me wonder what’s keeping it from getting soggy.

Now if you go read the reviews of this cereal on mommy blogs, every single one of them will say that they and their kids enjoyed it. But if the children of those mommy bloggers could taste what my taste buds experienced with Post Oreo O’s, they would push away their Dora the Explorer or Ben 10 bowls filled with Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch cereal and demand for something better.

Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch isn’t a horrible tasting cereal. It tastes like Cocoa Puffs, which I enjoy, but it shouldn’t taste like Cocoa Puffs. If General Mills can get their hands on a DeLorean with a flux capacitor they should go back to the year 2000 to pick up a box of Post Oreo O’s, then go forward in time to 2010 when they were developing Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch and use the cereal from the past as the flavor template for their future Cocoa Puffs spinoff cereal.

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup (cereal only) – 110 calories, 15 calories from fat, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 130 milligrams of sodium, 80 milligrams of potassium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 9 grams of sugar, 11 grams of other carbohydrates, 2 grams of protein, and a bunch of vitamins and minerals.)

Item: Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch
Price: $3.49
Size: 12.2 ounces
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Stays crunchy in milk. Turns milk chocolatey. Fortified with vitamins and minerals. Post Oreo O’s. The Back to the Future trilogy.
Cons: Tastes like Cocoa Puffs, which it shouldn’t. Doesn’t come close to tasting like brownies. Looks like burnt square rejects from a Cookie Crisp factory. No longer having Post Oreo O’s.

PRIZE DRAWING: Because I Want To Put A T-Shirt On Your Back

/ / Announcement, Prize Drawing / 37 Comments

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I got the t-shirt (size large) pictured above for free from the folks at Carl’s Jr. I’ve had it in my possesion for six or seven months, but I’ve never worn it. It’s been sitting the cardboard box it came in because I forgot about it. During the time it’s been in the box, the Green Hornet movie was released in theaters and on DVD.

I thought about using the t-shirt as a rag. I thought about donating it to Goodwill. I thought about using it to cover my bare chest. But I decided that this t-shirt should cover the chest of an Impulsive Buy reader or be used as a rag by an Impulsive Buy reader. So it’s time to have another quick prize drawing and I’m going to call it:

The Impulsive Buy’s T-Shirt/Rag Promoting A Movie That Came Out Almost Six Months Ago Prize Drawing

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To enter The Impulsive Buy’s T-Shirt/Rag Promoting A Movie That Came Out Almost Six Months Ago Prize Drawing, leave a comment with THIS post. Say whatever you like.

Please don’t forget to fill out the email field because I’ll be emailing the winner for their mailing address. The Impulsive Buy will stop accepting entries on Friday, June 24, 2011 11:59 PM Hawaii Standard Time. Only one comment allowed per person, and it’s open to everyone who’s 18 years old or older.

For those of you who have a Twitter account, you can increase your odds of winning by tweeting the following message before June 24, 2011 11:59 PM Hawaii Standard Time:

I read @theimpulsivebuy and all I can win is this lousy t-shirt. http://bit.ly/iXShkT

Only one tweet per Twitter account. Please follow @theimpulsivebuy on Twitter so that if the winner is picked via tweets, I’ll be able to contact the winner.

Good luck!

Fine Print: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you emails for free Viagra in Spanish. The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you my depleted AA batteries. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail, damaged mail, or the t-shirt not fitting properly.

NEWS: Get Ready To Show Fake Enthusiasm When Color Changing Jello Blows Your Kid’s Mind

/ / Spotted on Shelves / 4 Comments

When I was a kid, it was awesome whenever I flicked a Bic disposable lighter and got a flame to appear. I would wave a finger multiple times through the orange flame to feel the warmth and pain it provided. When I got bored with that, I’d light newspapers in a Weber grill, waving my hand multiple times through the flames. When I tired of that, I’d set fire to a cardboard box and dance around it as if it were an offering to the Chinese god of fire, Zhu Rong. Today, however, those simple actions no longer excite me.

I bring up my past pyromania because Jell-O’s new Mixchief line of color changing pudding and gelatin may seem cool to children now, but in the future they’ll look back and realize how lame it was, much like how I think pouring lighter fluid on a newspaper fire is lame now. The line comes in two varieties Jell-O Mixchief Color Changing Vanilla Pudding and Jell-O Mixchief Color Changing Grape Gelatin.

The color changing happens while stirring the powdered mixes with the instructed liquid. The vanilla pudding turns green and the grape gelatin turns red. How boring is that? Wouldn’t it have been better if the two changed colors while stored in the refrigerator to set? It goes in one color and it comes out a different color. The way it is now, it’s as impressive as watching the water turn blue after dropping a 2000 Flushes in your toilet’s tank and then flushing.

Along with the color changing desserts, Jello-O also released Mixchief Make Your Own…Add Soda Gelatin, which is just unflavored gelatin that calls for 12 ounces of your desired soda instead of water. Yup, you can make Pepsi or Coke flavored gelatin. Or if you can get your hands on the Limited Edition Mountain Dew Pitch Black, you can make Jell-O that tastes like that.

REVIEW: McDonald’s Cheddar Onion McChicken Sandwich

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McDonald's Cheddar Onion McChicken Sandwich

McDonald’s has been coming on pretty strong lately.

I swear, it seems like every week, they’ve got something new on the menu. Despite whatever reservations you have about spending your hard-earned cash on food that could make you die faster if consumed in excess, one must admit that McDonald’s has pulled out all the stops to keep you coming back for more, and it seems to be working. McDonald’s knows you want to leave them, but they refuse to let you go.

It’s like at any moment, they’ll show up in their vintage convertible outside your school, beat down your best friend in a fit of jealous rage, then prison-tattoo your name on their chest right above the words “4-EVA.” But don’t get me wrong, I approve of their efforts so far — most have been radical and delicious. It’s true that after a very long time of not setting foot inside a McDonald’s, I too have been lured back by the promise of novelty and exciting new flavor sensations. Among them is the Cheddar Onion McChicken.

Sorry, Cheddar, but after sampling this new item, I can confidently say that Onion deserves top-billing, for it’s clearly the star of the show. The Cheddar Onion McChicken is very similar to the other new chicken sandwich (Jalapeno Cheddar McChicken) since it’s constructed with white cheddar cheese, lettuce, and a (subtly) spicy chicken patty, but it’s an entirely different flavor experience. The combination of caramelized onions with the white cheddar slice creates a slightly creamy texture that, thankfully, isn’t slimy. The breaded chicken patty has a wonderful crunch that complements the smoothness of the cheese and onions. Now, I’m a fan of grilled onions, so the fact that the first bite of my sandwich was bursting with onion flavor was a good thing.

McDonald's Cheddar Onion McChicken Sandwich Fully Clothed

The only drawback is the bland white cheddar. They had already slapped that white cheddar on the Jalapeno Cheddar McChicken, and it didn’t add anything to the overall experience except gooeyness. On the Cheddar Onion McChicken, the cheese seems smoother, but it still doesn’t add much in the way of flavor.

At first, the idea of pairing a breaded chicken breast with onions and cheese didn’t seem all that exciting to me, but this sandwich was pretty bomb. McDonald’s has figured out how to keep you locked in their strong embrace even when you know they’re dangerous.

The franchise has made a bold (for them) move by trying out these jazzed-up yet affordable chicken sandwiches, and I think they did well with the Cheddar Onion McChicken. On the pleasure scale, it’s no sexy rollercoaster ride, but it’s better than finding your dog’s severed head. Maybe we have nothing to fear after all.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 sandwich – 370 calories, 140 calories from fat, 16 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 40 milligrams of cholesterol, 1050 milligrams of sodium, 41 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 6 grams of sugar, 17 grams of protein.)

Item: McDonald’s Cheddar Onion McChicken sandwich
Price: $1.49
Size: N/A
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Carmelized onions are the bomb. Mid-90’s teen thrillers starring Mark Wahlberg. Chicken patty is delightfully crispy on the outside. Sexy roller coaster rides. Costs a buck forty-nine.
Cons: Available in limited markets. Severed heads. As usual, white cheddar cheese doesn’t add much in the way of flavor. Prison tattoos immortalizing your L.O.V.E.

NEWS: Pringles Combines Dried Potato Flakes and Hot Sauce To Create A Limited Edition Flavor

/ / Spotted on Shelves / 4 Comments

Hot Sauce #2

Update: Click here to read our Hot Sauce Pringles review

New Pringles flavors make me giddy.

Whenever I discover a new flavor, I pick two cans up, start shaking them like they were maracas, and do a little cha-cha. After I do my little dance, I put the two cans back on the shelf because the Pringles inside are probably in pieces thanks to my violent rhythmic shaking and then I purchase an unshaken can.

Well, it looks like I’ll be doing my Pringles can dance and horrifying unsuspecting shoppers if I can get my hands on the limited edition Pringles Original Hot Sauce. I learned about the new flavor via a review by our friends over at Review Spew.

Unlike the Tapatio-flavored chips Frito-Lay introduced a few months ago, these hot sauce flavored potato crisps aren’t attached to a brand name hot sauce. They aren’t even attached to an obscure hot sauce with a silly name, like Satan’s Blood Hot Sauce, Smack My Ass and Call Me Sally … The Slap Heard Around the World Hot Sauce, or Sphincter Shrinker Hot Sauce.

Yes, those are real hot sauce names.

A serving of Pringles Original Hot Sauce has 140 calories and 9 grams of fat, and they can be found at Walmart.

Update: According the commenter Echo710 below, the Hot Sauce Pringles come in three varieties: Original, Chipotle, and Garlic. Also, the line might be a Walmart exclusive.

Source: Review Spew

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