Joyburst Gummy Bear Sparkles Protein Soda

For these posts, I just grab whatever looks mildly interesting off the shelf and put it into my shopping basket. I don’t notice details until I actually consume them. That’s the case with this protein soda. I was surprised it had only four grams of protein. I expected an explosion of protein that’ll help make my muscles explode, but nope, just an amount I can count on one hand. Maybe I’ve been spoiled with all the double-digit protein sodas and shakes I’ve been drinking recently.

It’s sweet and tart, but its nondescript fruitiness doesn’t bring gummy bears to mind. Doesn’t remind me of soft Albanese gummy bears or Haribo Goldbears that give my jaw a workout. It’s a decent-tasting, zero-sugar drink that has some grittiness from the added whey protein isolate. Oh, there’s also bovine collagen peptides that help with skin and joints. It’s not bad, but again, the amount of protein is underwhelming. But I guess four grams is better than zero. 6 out of 10

Red Bull Spring Edition Cherry Sakura Energy Drink

I wasn’t planning on picking this up because I’m pretty sure I had the Japanese version many years ago. But our reviewer Vin wrote in his review of the sugar-free version that it tasted like strawberry banana to him. The banana got my banana-senses tingling, so I purchased a can, but the regular version. And, yes, I also tasted strawberry banana. However, I also asked @lookatbradsjunk on Instagram what he thought of it, and he said it tasted like a slightly sour ICEE to him.

I didn’t taste any cherry. Or maybe my taste buds didn’t want to taste cherry and instead wanted to enjoy the strawberry banana. I love this flavor. 9 out of 10

PBICK Caramel Rusk

I know. I thought it said “PRICK” too. Anytoo, these are from a Korean convenience store called CU that has locations here in Hawaii. Now, salad eaters might be thinking, “Um, are those croutons?” Well, they look like croutons, but have a slightly denser crunch and, of course, they’re sweet. No, they’re not coated in gooey caramel. Instead, they have on one side a thin caramel layer that gives the crouton-looking snack a strong caramel sweetness.

I really liked the crunch and flavor of these. My wife thought they were too dry and bland. So I ended up eating the two bags she bought for us. I kind of regret not being adventurous by putting them on a salad. 8 out of 10

Barebells Berry Milk Drink

I’ve had my share of Nesquik Strawberry Milk and a variety of strawberry milks from Japan, and this is definitely not as tasty as those. Of course, this has only two grams of sugar, so I shouldn’t expect something that smacks my taste buds with sweetness and berry flavor. There’s something kind of medicinal about the drink’s aftertaste, but that might be because of the artificial sweeteners—sucralose and acesulfame potassium.

I can somewhat look over its aftertaste because the ultra-filtered milk provides 24 grams of protein and 50 percent of my daily calcium intake in one can. Holy bone strengthening, Batman! ONE CAN! If only a particular gummy bear-flavored soda could provide that much protein. 5 out of 10

Nurri Chocolate Milk Shake and Mocha Milk Shake

Okay, 24 grams of protein, 50 percent of my daily calcium, and two grams of sugar is impressive, but these Nurri Milk Shakes have 30 grams of protein, 60 percent of my daily calcium, and one gram of sugar. Holy one upping, Batman!

But not only do they have higher protein and calcium levels and 1 gram less sugar, but they also taste much better than the previously mentioned milk drink. Like the Barebells product, these Nurri drinks use ultra-filtered milk to deliver more protein than regular milk. They also use the same artificial sweeteners, but they have a great chocolate flavor. But it still blows my mind how much protein and calcium they have. Also, the mocha one has the same amount of caffeine as a cup of coffee. 8 out of 10