REVIEW: Dairy Queen Royal Reese’s Fluffernutter Blizzard

Sometimes I really dislike being an adult. I’m not talking about paying taxes, having a job, or things like that. I just don’t like how it changes what is appropriate when it comes to food. If I were a toddler, it would be no big deal if I took off my shirt and ate mac and cheese with my hands, and people would say how cute I was when I got sauce in my hair. If I try that as an adult at Applebee’s, I’ll probably be asked to leave. If I were in kindergarten, a fluffernutter sandwich would be a perfectly acceptable lunch. But if I suggest we have peanut butter and marshmallow creme sandwiches at a work meeting, then some co-workers might suggest I’m a bit immature (but I know others would secretly think it’s an awesome idea). Thankfully, Dairy Queen has the new Royal Reese’s Fluffernutter Blizzard that both mature and immature adults can purchase without being judged.

If you are not familiar with the “Royal” line of Blizzards, they have the bonus of a hidden core, which, in this case, is filled with marshmallow topping. I thought about bringing a small handsaw so I could conduct a Blizzard autopsy and show you exactly how it looks inside, but I figured that would be frowned upon and maybe a little dangerous. Besides, the DQ website features a cross-section view if you are interested. Surrounding the marshmallow core of this Blizzard are Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, peanut butter topping, and, of course, vanilla soft serve. The core might be hard to see in the photos, and as the Blizzard around it melts, it all blends together, but trust me that it’s there.

I’m not sure if this is the case everywhere, but at my local DQ, the Royal Blizzards will set you back an extra $1. After having this one, I can tell you that’s a buck well spent. The standard PB Cup Blizzard is already one of my favorites, but it becomes truly glorious with the marshmallow flavor running down the center. The marshmallow topping by itself is quite sweet — almost too sweet — but it is balanced out perfectly by the decidedly less sweet peanut butter flavor. The smooth, creamy texture of the marshmallow topping also pairs wonderfully with the chunkiness and thickness of the pulverized peanut butter cups in the soft serve. I tried to think how I would improve this Blizzard, and I’ve got nothing to suggest. I think it’s my new all-time favorite.

My only disappointment is that I ordered a small, which really limits the real estate available for the marshmallow core. So my suggestion is to live like a king or a queen and at least order the medium for this one. Nah, just get a large.

Purchased Price: $5.99
Size: Small
Rating: 10 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 750 calories, 31 grams of fat, 13 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 390 milligrams of sodium, 104 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 87 grams of sugar, and 17 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dairy Queen Cake Batter Cookie Dough Blizzard

We all have some beliefs that we know with certainty are true, and no amount of debate or evidence will ever change our minds. For me, one of those tenets is this: sprinkles are wildly overrated and borderline useless in society. I know others disagree, including the group of small children I saw at a Fourth of July picnic fighting over a shaker of sprinkles for their ice cream. Perhaps they had been studying the Declaration of Independence and thought acquiring said sprinkles would help them successfully achieve their pursuit of happiness. I contend that those kids were misguided. Try eating a handful of just sprinkles and tell me I’m wrong.

At this point, you might assume that my review of Dairy Queen’s July Blizzard of the Month is trending toward a big thumbs down because the Cake Batter Cookie Dough Blizzard has a double dose of sprinkles. The colorful pieces of nothingness are mixed into the cake batter-flavored soft serve and embedded into the confetti cookie dough pieces.

There is a hero, however, that saves this Blizzard. While the standard vanilla soft serve base of most Blizzards is perfectly fine, this cake batter variation is sumptuous. It somehow manages to amp up the sweetness of the ice cream without going too far, and it delivers a subtle extra flavor that seems like a little bit of icing mixed with cake. I would definitely eat cake batter ice cream by itself.

Despite my professed indifference, or perhaps even disdain, for sprinkles, I must say this is a decent Blizzard. And I will begrudgingly say the sprinkles are not completely useless here. They bring a rainbow of color, which I guess is great if you are posting on Instagram, and they contribute a bit of extra texture, which is pleasant. But because sprinkles have virtually no taste, they contribute virtually nothing to the flavor of this Blizzard.

The cookie dough nuggets in here can best be described as sugar cookie-flavored. Again, there are some sprinkles in the cookie dough, as shown in the photo after I dissected one, but, again, they don’t add any flavor.

The quibble I have with this Blizzard — other than my excessive diatribe about sprinkles — is that the cookie dough pieces are overshadowed by the cake batter ice cream. The dough had such a mild flavor that I almost forgot about it. This one might be worth doing a little experimenting and asking for some M&M’s or Oreo cookies to be added to the mix.

Even though this one missed the mark a bit for me, it is certainly worth trying just to experience the cake batter-flavored ice cream.

Purchased Price: $4.99
Size: Small
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 610 calories, 21 grams of fat, 13 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 320 milligrams of sodium, 95 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 71 grams of sugar, and 12 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dairy Queen Peanut Butter Puppy Chow Blizzard

It is with some trepidation and a bit of embarrassment that I ask you, the fine readers of The Impulsive Buy, am I the only one? Did you all know that puppy chow is a tasty mix of cereal, chocolate, peanut butter, and powdered sugar, and not, as the name implies, food for young dogs?

Ok, so puppy chow is actually both of the above, but I had no idea it could be something tasty for humans to eat. My wife seems to think that I’m the only one so clueless, and I’m hoping to find at least one kindred spirit on here who is similarly ignorant. After some reflection though, I do recall having puppy chow in the past and enjoying it, but I guess I never thought to ask what it was called.

Why all the talk about puppy chow? Well, the Peanut Butter Puppy Chow Blizzard is one of the new additions to the Dairy Queen menu for April (and not an April Fool’s gag as I originally thought). According to my extensive research on Wikipedia, puppy chow is primarily popular in the Midwest and generally contains a mixture of cereal (like Chex or Crispix), melted chocolate, peanut butter, and powdered sugar. There are also a bunch of other names for it, like reindeer chow, doggy bag, or muddy buddies. Apparently, the canine-inspired name comes from the fact that it looks like dog food, so why wouldn’t it be a great Blizzard flavor?

Well, it’s good but not great. The DQ website says its version includes crispy puppy chow pieces, peanut butter topping, and choco chunks. As promising as those ingredients sound, I didn’t think they really worked together in harmony. I could definitely taste the Chex-like cereal, but it had a slightly stale flavor and not much crunch. This also had a very salty taste, and indeed it does have more sodium than the average Blizzard. As for the powdered sugar, it is listed in the ingredients, but it was not noticeable, either by taste or looks as it blends in with the vanilla soft serve. This really didn’t taste much different than a peanut butter cup Blizzard except that it adds an odd-tasting cereal. Did I finish this Blizzard? Of course I did. It’s still a sugar-packed ice cream treat, but this one didn’t have me barking for more.

If you really love puppy chow (of the human food variety), then perhaps you will probably find this Blizzard enjoyable, but I was a bit underwhelmed. In honor of the start of baseball season, this one is a nice single to the gap that might get stretched to a double, but it’s not a home run.

Purchased Price: $4.99
Size: Small
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 720 calories, 32 grams of fat, 18 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 320 milligrams of sodium, 97 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 77 grams of sugar, and 16 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dairy Queen Oreo Brookie Blizzard

If you mosey on over to the search feature on this site and type in “Oreo Blizzard,” you’ll be greeted with a long list of reviews for Blizzard variations with words like zero gravity, firework, cookie jar, and dirt pie. It would seem that Dairy Queen has tried just about every flavor combination possible using the popular chocolate cookie and creme sandwich.

But now it has introduced yet another new one, the Oreo Brookie Blizzard, which of course, features Oreo cookies and brookies (brownies and cookies baked together). It sounds like a humdrum flavor considering DQ has already paired Oreo with fudge brownies and chocolate chip cookies, among many other ingredients.

Except that it’s not!

This one caught me by surprise. It’s rather simple, but it’s also rather delicious. One of the things that enhances the Blizzard experience is having a variety of textures, and this one really delivers in that department. Oreo cookies, as we all know, are crunchy and chocolatey, and when they are pulverized and mixed with vanilla soft serve, they can make for a tasty Blizzard all by themselves. But the addition of the brookies is a game-changer here. They bring in a pleasant soft chewiness to offset the Oreo crunch and provide a subtle chip cookie flavor combined with some brownie fudginess. To my surprise, I really could pick out the Oreo, cookie, and brownie flavors, and they all played together perfectly in my mouth. A great mix of flavors and textures all adds up to a brilliant Blizzard combination.

Dairy Queen sometimes goes a little overboard in trying to pack too many components into a Blizzard so they can call it outrageous or splendiferous or something like that. This one, however, proves again that sometimes less is more.

Purchased Price: $4.99
Size: Small
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 860 calories, 39 grams of fat, 16 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 520 milligrams of sodium, 116 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 77 grams of sugar, and 13 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dairy Queen Churro Dipped Cone

Successfully purchasing Dairy Queen’s new Churro Dipped Cone involved facing my two biggest fast food fears. On my first attempt, Dairy Queen had run completely out of what I’d come all the way there to get. On my second, I endured several awkward moments of blank stares from an employee who’d never heard of what I was ordering and had to confirm its existence through a lengthy chat with his manager. Fortunately, I was ultimately able to claim my prize, a big (seriously, am I the only one who didn’t realize just HOW large Dairy Queen’s “large” size is?), beautiful, rust-colored confection.

After all that hubbub, the Churro Dipped Cone — Dairy Queen’s classically curvaceous vanilla soft serve outfitted with a new churro-flavored shell — tasted like victory. It also tasted like, well, a churro. Sort of? It was certainly sweet and cinnamon-y (an apple cider donut was actually the first baked good it reminded me of, though maybe it’s just because I’ve had one recently), with a particularly zesty aftertaste thanks to the smattering of actual cinnamon sugar that coats the coating. But since it’s just churro-inspired without featuring any actual churro pieces, the classic crunchy texture is lacking. Though that’s not to suggest that the churro coating doesn’t have a lovely texture of its own! It was so thick that each time I bit off a flake, I was rewarded with an audible THUNK, and the ensuing experience of chomping into each hefty shard and savoring the sweetness and hint of spice as it melted in my mouth was wonderful.

Aesthetics-wise, I also appreciate that my cone didn’t look too uncannily perfect. The method behind DQ’s dipping madness involves dunking a naked vanilla cone into a vat of liquid which then solidifies around it into the iconic crisp coating. That means that each Churro Dipped Cone is unique, like the snowflakes that were fittingly falling around me as I sampled my seasonally inappropriate dessert. Mine certainly didn’t have the most even application, alternating between visibly thicker layers and bald patches with no coating at all. Those had the side effect of making it particularly messy to eat since, as the ice cream melted, droplets started gushing out through the gaps and all over my hands. I’m thankful the Dairy Queen employee had way more foresight than I did and provided me with a large bundle of napkins, all of which got used!

Prying off a bit of churro shell or lapping up some stray ice cream dribbles is all well and good, but my biggest gripe is what happened when I ambitiously tried to capture both elements in the same mouthful. The coldness of the ice cream immediately overpowered the mild flavor of the coating, suddenly rendering the subtle churro notes more or less tasteless. Dairy Queen’s vanilla ice cream is top-notch – rich, sweet, and creamy. It hits all the notes you’d expect and about as well as you could expect it to, but it wasn’t what I intended or expected to be the star of the churro show.

All in all, this tasty treat is as good an excuse to make a Dairy Queen run as any, but I’m not sure it will satisfy any actual churro cravings.

Purchased Price: $4.08
Size: Large
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 630 calories, 28 grams of fat, 22 grams of saturated fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 682 grams of carbohydrates (EDITOR’S NOTE: This is the number on the DQ website, the medium has 40 grams so it’s probably 68 grams), 62 gram of sugar, and 12 grams of protein.