Tag: Dairy Queen

It’s pretty unusual for me to order something where I have no clue what it is. However, when I ordered the new Heath Brownie Caramel Cupfection at Dairy Queen, I didn’t know what I was getting.

Well, that’s not entirely true. I knew that it would have ice cream and at least the ingredients listed in the title, but I didn’t know much beyond that. Was it a shake? A sundae? What in God’s name is a “Cupfection?”

My treat was served on one of those ubiquitous little cardboard drink trays that DQ uses for ice cream and drinks, and it looked basically like a shake with abundant toppings. “Okay,” I thought, “So a ‘cupfection’ is just a fancy name for a shake; I can handle this.” Seeing all the different layers on top and the pure white soft-serve on the bottom, I assumed I was supposed to mix it all up, which sounded fun. However, I soon realized there is no mixing this thing up because there is an entire freakin’ brownie sitting on top of the treat, and you need to fully consume the brownie before you can access most of the ice cream. I had originally assumed that the “brownie” in the title must refer to small chunks in the mix, but oh, no: this thing is massive.

In addition to the brownie, this thing also has a river of caramel and Heath bar pieces. The only time I see Heath bars available in any form is as an optional ice cream topping that I never order, so I didn’t know what they tasted like, and to be honest, I still don’t. Their flavor is totally overpowered by everything else that’s going on here. What the Heath bar pieces do is provide a highly satisfying crunch that serves as a contrast to the abundant, sticky caramel and the chocolatey gooeyness of the brownie.

I started to feel a little sick about two-thirds of the way through, but for some reason, I felt compelled to finish it, maybe to prove my mettle as a dessert eater? I’m not sure what I thought I was accomplishing, but I did eat the whole thing and then felt sick for about two hours afterwards. Do I regret it? Not really; it was nice to have a sugary treat that completely satisfied my gargantuan sweet tooth, which is never truly content with more reasonable portions.

DQ’s website says that this thing has 760 calories, and I frankly think that’s a lie. I know what a 1,000-calorie-plus treat tastes like, and that’s what this thing tasted like. Maybe I got a larger brownie than usual, but 760 just sounds small for this brownie-laden monstrosity. I guess we’ll never know.

If reading this makes you Cupfection-curious, be aware that there’s also a Brownie and Oreo Cupfection that comes with marshmallow topping and chocolate sauce. The caramel was such a prominent part of the experience that I’m genuinely curious what a version without caramel would taste like. But I won’t find out for a while because I don’t trust myself to order one of these again. I guess I could always get one and split it with my husband, but let’s be honest, I’d just promise certain favors until he gave in and let me eat his half too.

Purchased Price: $5.59
Size: n/a
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 760 calories, 29 grams of fat, 14 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 117 grams of carbohydrates, 390 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of fiber, 90 grams of sugar, 65 milligrams of cholesterol, and 11 grams of protein.

Dairy Queen’s website says that the Snickers Brownie Blizzard will “transform your taste buds forever.” Maybe it means you’ll be working so hard to determine the flavor that your taste buds will level up from sheer exertion? Maybe I can now be one of those people who can taste “notes of honeysuckle” in a glass of wine because I’ve become a flavor detective? It would be nice to think I got something out of this experience.

I had this twice and had a different reaction the second time. The first time, the brownie bits were missing chocolate flavor, and I was complaining that it was too bland. The second time, the brownie bits seemed much more flavorful. Was my palette fatigued the first time, or maybe I just got a few bigger brownie chunks in my mix the second time? The second event sounds more likely. When I properly tasted them, the brownie bits had a satisfying unctuousness and chocolatey bitterness.

Moving on to the Snickers, I think this would have worked if the candy bar pieces were a little bigger, but as it stands, it’s hard to discern much flavor. I didn’t taste major Snickers components like nougat and peanuts; there was caramel flavor, but it was kind of muted. The caramel did stick to my teeth though, so at least it was definitely present.

The DQ description states that the Blizzard has “caramel topping,” which in this case means that the topping was mixed into the vanilla soft serve ice cream. This manages to make the soft serve even sweeter than normal, but it doesn’t really register as caramel flavor; it just amps up the vanilla.

Because of the brownie bits’ chewiness and the caramel’s sticky nature, there was textural variation, so the treat has that going for it. It’s just a little underpowered in the flavor department. This is the first Blizzard I can remember having where I felt the vanilla soft serve, bolstered by the caramel bits in the mix, completely overpowered any other flavors.

Look, Dairy Queen has a lot of Blizzards on its menu, and most of them are pretty darn good. Everyone has an off day once in a while, and I have compassion for that. I allow Dairy Queen a swing-and-a-miss, and that’s what we have here. If you want a Blizzard and are tempted to get this, unless you’ve got a real yen for brownie bits, you may want to get an Oreo Blizzard instead. In that treat, the bitterness of the chocolate contrasts with the vanilla soft serve in a truly delightful way, consistently. I’m actually sitting here feeling kind of cheated because I could have got an Oreo Blizzard (twice!) but got this instead. Blizzard Remorse is a sad, sad thing.

Purchased Price: $5.19
Size: Small
Purchased at: Dairy Queen
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 410 calories, 15 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 200 milligrams of sodium, 60 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 48 grams of sugar, and 9 grams of protein.

What is it?

The Reese’s Take 5 Blizzard is the August Blizzard of the Month, and Dairy Queen says it’s the first time ever that its signature treat contains five flavors, even if the math is a little fuzzy, as I’ll explain. This doesn’t contain pulverized Reese’s Take 5 bars but instead mimics the candy with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, caramel topping, peanuts, and pretzel pieces.

How is it?

It’s a touch disappointing if I’m being honest, and I don’t mess around with dishonesty when I’m talking about Blizzards. Before trying this, I was certain it would land at or near the top of my list of all-time favorites, but it comes up a little short.

For me, there’s just a bit too much going on, and perhaps that’s why DQ has never put five ingredients in a Blizzard. And I’m not even counting this as five flavors anyway. In an actual Take 5 bar, there are five parts, as the milk chocolate lovingly embraces and surrounds the pretzels, peanuts, peanut butter, and caramel, while this Blizzard uses peanut butter cups. Yes, I know PB cups contain peanut butter and chocolate, but for reasons I can’t articulate fully, I just can’t count that as two things.

As for how this tastes, the peanut butter flavor gets lost in the mix, which doesn’t quite seem right for something branded as Reese’s. The pretzels do give it a nice salty component to offset the sweetness, but again, the pretzel taste is hard to distinguish as the pieces have the same kind of crunch as the peanuts. And stop me if you’ve heard this before, but the caramel flavor is somewhat sparse because it’s fighting for attention against all its Take 5 friends. The four (or five) ingredients still combine for a pleasant taste experience, but instead of being distinctive, it’s almost more generic, like it should just be called a chocolatey peanutty Blizzard.

Anything else you need to know?

I guess I haven’t followed candy bar branding closely in recent years because I didn’t realize that this bar was simply called TAKE5 until the “Reese’s” name was added in 2019. Also, Hershey’s needs to hire a proofreader for its website because on the same page, it alternates between a space and no space in TAKE 5 (and the DQ website doesn’t use all caps, so I have no idea what the official name really is). Regardless, Hershey’s has said that the peanut butter in the bar has always been Reese’s since it debuted in 2004.

Conclusion:

Even if you ignore the minor mathematical issues with this Blizzard, it doesn’t quite add up to a perfect 10. It’s good — actually very good — but it’s a classic case of more is not always better.

Purchased Price: $4.49
Size: Small
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Small) 770 calories, 34 grams of fat, 15 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 580 milligrams of sodium, 99 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 76 grams of sugar, and 21 grams of protein.