REVIEW: Starbucks Serious Strawberry Frappuccino

Starbucks Serious Strawberry Frappuccino

I generally can’t take anything with the adjective “serious” in it, seriously. But that’s the beauty of Starbucks’ new Serious Strawberry Frappuccino Blended Beverage. Strawberry is a fun, summer flavor, but this drink is so good that you should take it seriously.

We know Starbucks has a track-record for creating awesome fruit-flavored summer beverages, but I didn’t see this one coming! I thought at least the tasty mango pineapple flavor from last summer would be back, but I actually saw it as the lead at its Hong Kong and Taipei locations instead.

Either way, I’m not complaining. This new flavor makes more sense as it stays in the theme of R&D refreshing core flavors we already know and love. Although, truth be told the old Strawberries & Crème flavor never appealed to me, but Serious Strawberry’s botanical infusion and puree definitely did.

Speaking of the old flavor, Serious Strawberry means business as it replaces said old flavor completely, unlike the other new flavors. So, it’s particularly surprising that it’s not denoted with “Blended Crème” per Starbucks’ typical non-caffeinated nomenclature.

When picking up my drink, I got a kick out of the barista announcing, “Serious Strawberry for Tiffany!” It sounded so silly that I had my own Bart Simpson Anita Bath tee-hee-hee moment. But, that’s part of the charm – that moment can’t be replicated with a Misto or Matcha Latte.

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I noticed it was a little more liquid-y than expected. I enjoyed my beverage indoors, but I could see this melting very quickly in the heat if it were consumed outdoors. It was a fleeting thought as I was immediately distracted by the pretty pink and white resembling the pink marble trend all over Instagram right now. I was also pleased to see real strawberry seeds in the swirls of puree because it sparked hope that it wouldn’t be artificial tasting.

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My mind was blown from the first sip. The flavor was like if I stuck my straw in a juicy strawberry; there were some sips that were tangier than others and some sweeter like eating the fruit itself. The nuance was in part from the botanical infusion of apples, licorice root, hibiscus, rose hips, and lemongrass.

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But, the botanicals also contributed to what I misread at first as a slightly artificial aftertaste. However, as I continued drinking I knew that it wasn’t at all like an artificial/powdered strawberry milk flavoring. The vanilla whipped cream rounded out this classic combination of berries and dairy.

With all these seriously stellar summer flavor launches, it’s going to be a tough act for Starbucks to follow in the fall.

(Nutrition Facts – Tall 12 fl oz – 260 calories, 11 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, 36 grams of sugars, 3 grams of protein and 0 milligrams of caffeine.)

Purchased Price: $4.45
Size: Tall
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Tastes like a drinking a strawberry – some sips are tarngier and some sips are sweeter. Still Instagrammable like pink marble. No caffeine (if you’re looking for a non-caffeinated option).
Cons: A bit more liquid-y than usual (may melt faster in the summer heat). Not seeing the value in the fancy botanical infusion – just created a bit of tastebud confusion as I mistook it for a slight artificial taste at first

REVIEW: Wendy’s Berry Burst Chicken Salad

Wendy s Berry Burst Chicken Salad

As a marketing writer for a semi-large organization, and as a perpetual bullshitter, I tend to appreciate the subtle ability of words to transform the same old thing into something completely different.

Let’s put our cards on the table: a straight description doesn’t work anymore. Nobody wants what is. Everyone wants what is ideal.

Case in point, what was the Wendy’s Berry Almond Chicken Salad seven years ago became the Summer Berry Chicken Salad two years ago and now has morphed into the Berry Burst Chicken Salad.

Granted, there are some slight variations, but who actually remembers a slight switcheroo in a cheese or a berry or a dressing?

For what it’s worth, what is basically the same salad from 2011 and 2016 is still delicious. Although, perhaps to stay consistent with the times, we should say it’s still delicious AF. Regardless, the salad has that rare ability to make you stop and say, “Wait, that came from Wendy’s?

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If you still haven’t had Wendy’s revamped grilled chicken, which debuted two years ago, get with the times, man. It’s juicy, succulent, and it has flavor like something grilled on one of those short-season Food Network summer grilling shows. I can’t believe I just said that about white meat. Anyways, the chicken is more than passable and a few notches above any pre-packed salad you’d find in the grocery store.

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I was really impressed with the berries, particularly the strawberries, which had a slightly macerated taste and texture that was sweet without being cloying or overripe. The blueberries were by and large plump and ripe, their modest sweetness pairing nicely against the salty feta cheese. Both the cheese and the smoky, crunchy almonds, give the salad a hearty feel — perhaps even a burst.

The biggest drawbacks are the dressing and the amount of lettuce. The sweetness of the dressing tends to be a little too much with the berries. It’s like putting ketchup on my ketchup flavored potato chips -— both delicious, less so together. As for the lettuce, I feel like Elaine Benes might be cool with it, but when I’m fairly full and there’s still a forest staring back at me, sans chicken and berries, the ratio is a little off.

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I told myself I wasn’t going to look at the past reviews of Wendy’s Chicken/Almond/Berry salad combos when scoring the Berry Burst Chicken Salad. Well, lo and behold I have no self-control and saw past scores of 8 and 9. Given that nothing much has changed, but more importantly, given that this is still a great salad, a 9 seems more than appropriate.

(Nutrition Facts – Full size – 460 calories, 17 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 105 milligrams of cholesterol, 1090 milligrams of sodium, 41 grams of carbohydrates, 29 grams of sugar, 7 grams of fiber, and 41 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $6.79
Size: Full size
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: “Lots of fresh strawberries and blueberries” — literally ripped this line from the 2011 review, which is still applicable. Grilled chicken is a step above 2011 version. Well composed salad with super fresh ingredients. Crunchy almonds and feta cheese create good contrasts in flavors and textures.
Cons: Raspberry vinaigrette is like putting ketchup on ketchup potato chips. A little too much greenery. Lingering debate over the connotation of “chicken salad” vs. “salad with chicken.”

REVIEW: Sonic Pickle Juice Snow Cone Slush

Sonic Pickle Juice Snow Cone Slush

Pickles.

They’re just one of those things that are inherently funny. They don’t even have to do anything; just the fact that they exist is amusing. (Kind of like cats, noses, and octopuses.)

One thing (out of many) that makes them funny is their polarizing qualities. Pickle is one of the food fads du jour, but plenty of people can’t stand them.

I like pickles, but I’m no fanatic (I like to get pickle products mostly to gross out my pickle-hating friends). I think the cukes’ silliness is the main reason they’re having their heyday. Because of this, I think Sonic’s new Pickle Juice Snow Cone Slush is primarily a marketing gimmick to make people laugh.

I don’t eat in my car, so I went to a Sonic with a dining area. When I walked in, I said to the cashier, “Can I get a…” and she finished my sentence: “Pickle slush?” She thought I chose small because I wasn’t a risk taker, but the fact is that I just can’t eat that much slushiness.

I told her I was trying it for this review, and she asked if I was going to put in a pickle spear, instead of a decorative umbrella. I was disappointed when she said they didn’t actually offer pickle spears with the drink. What a missed opportunity, Sonic!

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When I took my first sip, I thought, “Yep. That’s totally pickle juice.” It’s exactly what you would expect to find in a jar of dill pickles—a tart, acidic flavor.

But by my second sip, I thought, “Yep. That’s totally a Sonic slush.” See, even though dill pickles are a savory food, this is still a sugary slush. I have had shaved ice that had pickle juice flavoring, and it was just like pure pickle juice, not sweet at all. But Sonic’s version is just as sweet (or almost as sweet) as their other flavors. I’ve heard of serious athletes using pickle juice as a recovery drink, but this slush is no health food.

Personally, I enjoyed it, and I liked it more than I probably would have if it weren’t sweet. The dill and the sweetness didn’t clash as much as you might expect. It was refreshing.

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I got a cheeseburger with my slush, and since there were no actual pickles in the slush, I transferred a couple of pickle slices to the drink. But I don’t recommend it; the sweetness didn’t match the real pickles, and I don’t like chewing cold things.

I can’t help wondering who this is for. If you don’t like pickles or pickle juice, then you won’t like it. And if you love pickle juice, you will be disappointed that it’s so sugary. I guess it’s for people who are somewhat apathetic about pickles, who like sweet slushes, and who enjoy trying weird foods.

I might get it again, but only because of its utter weirdness. It’s not any better than the other Sonic flavors.

(Nutrition Facts – Not listed on Sonic’s website, but a small Slush without any flavoring contains: 180 calories, 0 calories from fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 grams of cholesterol, 30 grams of sodium, 48 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 48 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $1.49
Size: Small
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Sweet and refreshing. Dill flavor doesn’t clash with the slush as much as you might expect. Pickles are hilarious.
Cons: Not a health food. Doesn’t come with pickles. Who is it for, exactly?

QUICK REVIEW: Krispy Kreme Blueberry Glaze Doughnut

Krispy Kreme Blueberry Glaze Doughnut

What is it?

The apparent runner-up to Krispy Kreme’s glaze-voting-contest-winner lemon – The Blueberry Glaze Doughnut. Once again KK’s iconic glaze conveyor belt of sickly sweet dreams gets transformed from the original wash of sugary vanilla to a brand new and seasonally appropriate blueberry.

How is it?

Out of the box, the doughnut carries the distinct aroma of one of my other favorite breakfast carb bombs – a blueberry bagel. Unlike a blueberry bagel, which always smells sweeter and more potent than the flavor it actually delivers, this doughnut comes through in a major way. The bright berry notes work perfectly with the doughy yeast base for a combination that is truly great and much tastier than it looks.

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The blueberry glaze is sweet yet sharp and highlights the golden fried exterior in a way that is often masked by the best-in-its-class original. It’s a gentle flavor that isn’t too over the top yet very present with the perfect ratio of fresh to decadent with the slightly tart blueberry helping to temper the sweeter OG recipe.

Is there anything else I need to know?

Krispy Kreme is known for its super fresh Hot Light doughnuts, but since these are only made once early in the day and I couldn’t make it until later, I had to recreate that magic at home with the microwave. Popping this berry boy into the micro for 6-8 seconds heightens the sweetness and creates a melty soft texture that’s everything conveyor dreams are made of.

Conclusion:

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It’s a damn good thing that KK decided to bring out this non-winning glaze for a week-long run because as good as the lemon was, this one is even better. It’s a more notable change to the original while still keeping everything that makes the OG so classic. The blueberry is the berry that’s made for breakfast, performing equally well in pancakes, muffins, oatmeal, and, you’d better believe, doughnuts.

Purchased Price: $1.69
Size: N/A
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 200 calories, 10 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 120 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Starbucks Ultra Caramel Frappuccino

Starbucks Ultra Caramel Frappuccino

What is it?

Starbucks’ new Ultra Caramel Frappuccino launched with the Triple Mocha Frappuccino to kick off Frappuccino season. I straight up asked the barista what the difference was between the Ultra Caramel and original version. Not really selling it – he stated that it was a different caramel and whipped cream.

But it was so much more than that –- the caramel is a new dark caramel sauce, the new whipped cream is infused with cold brew (!!!), and it’s created in layers so that all the good stuff is distributed nicely throughout the drink.

How is it?

Delicious!

When I was in middle school, I used to drink a Venti Caramel Frappuccino with extra caramel every single summer day. A little bit gross, I know. So, the Ultra Caramel is like the upgraded adult version. I enjoy the smokier dark caramel sauce and the additional caffeine and coffee flavor from the cold brew whipped cream. The blended coffee is a good backdrop, but a bit icy per usual.

Is there anything else I need to know?

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Starbucks needs to package this delicious cold brew whipped cream and sell it, please. But, you can add this topping to any drink for 50 cents extra. Also, Ultra is not replacing the original Caramel or Mocha flavors. But, the Ultra version will run you $0.80 more (than the original) for a Tall, $0.50 more for a Grande and Venti.

Conclusion:

Hello Frappuccino season! The new Ultra Caramel is a great way to kick it off.

Purchased Price: $4.75
Size: Tall (12 fl oz.)
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 350 calories, 17 grams of fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 47 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 44 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein, and 70 milligrams of caffeine..