Tag: Mars

Smoothie Mix Skittles

Marvo 67 Comments

Smoothie Skittles

I’m not a fan of pastel colors, because I don’t look good in pastels.

If I wore pastel colors, I would look like a snotty, country club membership owning, private school graduated prick or a rejected J. Crew catalog model.

Plus, there’s something emasculating about pastel. Maybe it’s the brightness of it, after all, my wardrobe and soul consists of mostly dark colors.

It was this dislike of pastel that had me second guessing my purchase of these Smoothie Mix Skittles. I was afraid the bright colors of the Skittles would do something strange to me, like direct me towards the nearest Gap to look at their spring collection.

That fortunately didn’t happen after I ate the entire bag of Skittles.

In each bag of Smoothie Mix Skittles, there are five flavors: orange mango, peach pear, strawberry banana, lemon berry, and mixed berry. My favorite was the peach pear flavor.

With most of the combinations, I felt that one flavor really overpowered the other. For example, with the orange mango flavor, I could mostly taste the orange. With the pear peach flavor, I could mostly taste the pear.

However, with the strawberry banana flavor, I really couldn’t taste either.

Overall, I thought the Smoothie Mix Skittles were good. If they didn’t come in pastel colors, they would be slightly better.

Well folks, now that the obligatory review is out of the way, we can now focus our attention towards this month’s prize drawing.

This month, the Impulsive Buy will be giving ONE lucky reader a $15 iTunes Gift Card, which we reviewed last month.

Yahtzee! (BTW, “Yahtzee! is now the official Impulsive Buy catch phrase, which we stole from a particular board game company.)

To enter the drawing, just leave a comment for THIS review with the words “Tune Me On” in it and whatever else you would like to say. Or, if you think we’re crusty, drunk, smelly, and cheap comment whores, you can also enter by sending us an email with the phrase “Tune Me On” in the subject field.

If you leave a comment, don’t forget to fill out the email field, because we will be emailing the winner for their mailing address. Don’t worry about the shipping, we will take care of all 37 cents of it.

We will start accepting entries for the drawing on March 11, 2005. We will stop accepting entries on March 16, 2005. Only one entry allowed per person. The drawing is ONLY open to those in the United States. (Sorry to the rest of the world, the card can only be redeemed at the U.S. iTunes Music Store)

The winner of the prize drawing will be picked in the following way:

I will dictate each entrant’s email address, which will be recorded by my computer. The dictated email addresses will be turned into individual MP3 files. I will import all of the MP3s into iTunes and create a playlist containing all of the dictated email addresses.

Then I will click the shuffle button in iTunes fifteen times, which will mix up the order of the MP3s. Finally, I will play the MP3s and the fifteenth email I hear will be the winner of this month’s prize drawing.

Hopefully, there will be more than fifteen entries.

So for those of you who’d like some free music, here’s your chance.

Yahtzee!

Fine Print: We promise your email address will not be used to send you spam about getting free Starbucks coffee for a year. We also promise your mailing address will not be used to send you offers for an airline frequent flyer credit card. Bribes will not be accepted. We will not be responsible for lost mail.

Item: Smoothie Mix Skittles
Purchase Price: 50 cents
Rating: 3 out of 5
Pros: Cheap. More sugar than a can of soda. Interesting flavor combinations. I’m not a country club snob or a rejected J. Crew catalog model.
Cons: Emasculating pastel colors. One flavor seemed to dominant the other with most mixed flavors.

REVIEW: Cookies & Twix

Marvo 14 Comments

Cookies & Twix

One of the reasons why I decided to review the Cookies & Twix candy bar was because I was told they’re almost as good as sex.

I didn’t quite believe her, so I decided to look deeper into it by reaching into my limited sexual history.

Wait, do blow-up dolls and shady massage parlors count?

I’ll just add them anyway.

After I scanned my limited sexual history, I realized that Melanie was wrong.

These Cookies & Twix candy bars are very good, so good, in fact, I think they’re better than first-time sex.

With first-time sex, there’s a lot of fumbling, not knowing where to put things, putting the condom on the wrong way, a lot of questions being asked, like “Is it in?”, “Does it feel good?” or “Does it hurt?” and premature ejaculation.

I gotta admit, I would rather have a Cookies & Twix candy bar, than experience first-time sex all over again. So I believe that sometimes these Cookies & Twix candy bars are indeed better than sex.

Hey, she didn’t say what kind of sex?

Anyway, now that we have that settled, I really do like these Cookies and Twix candy bars, but I have a problem with them. They’re hardly different than the delicious regular Twix?

They both have the same parts (a cookie, caramel, and chocolate), except put together differently.

Basically, a Cookies & Twix candy bar is a regular Twix turned inside out. Instead of having a cookie surrounded by caramel and chocolate, a Cookies & Twix candy bar is caramel and chocolate surrounded by a cookie.

I believe the Cookie & Twix candy bar is actually the deformed and rejected Twix, that have formed due to some kind of inbreeding. Of course, this is just a hypothesis, but the clues point to inbreeding.

Nevertheless, I love these deformed Twix, just as much as regular Twix.

I’ve got room in my stomach for both of them.

Item: Cookies & Twix
Purchase Price: 45 cents
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Very good. If you like Twix, you’ll like these. Showing love to the Deformed Twix.
Cons: Looks kind of small. This is what you get when Twix inbreed.

REVIEW: Peanut Butter M-Azing & Crunchy M-Azing

Marvo 1 Comment

Peanut Butter M-Azing & Crunchy M-Azing

Usually here at The Impulsive Buy we try to have reviews done a week in advanced, but last week we let our Labor Day vacation start really early, like around Tuesday.

So on the real Labor Day, The Impulsive Buy staff had to scramble for a review.

Okay, let me rephrase that. I had to scramble for a review, since I’m the only one who came into The Impulsive Buy Laboratory on Labor Day. Those bastards!

I checked The Official Impulsive Buy Cabinet, where we keep the stuff we’re going to eventually review and our lunches, but the only items in there were a container of one-year-old Tang, a can of refried beans, and four three-year-old cans of cream of mushroom soup.

Thank goodness for the national convenience store chain down the street. Open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 365 days a year.

With only a dollar and some change, I felt like I was Rachael Ray on the Food Network. She has this show called $40 A Day, where she spends a day in some town and only has a $40 budget to eat breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a snack. Some of us at The Impulsive Buy watch the show religiously, because she’s a little dorky and really hot. Grrrowl!

Someone, who I won’t name, even has a shrine dedicated to her that consists of several 8 x 10 photos, her cookbooks, and a television/DVD combo that plays a continuous loop of her shows.

With very little money, I couldn’t buy much. Fortunately, I came upon something M-Azing in the candy aisle, Peanut Butter M-Azing and Crunchy M-Azing. Okay, I didn’t know if they were M-Azing or not because I did try them yet, but the price for them was M-Azing. They were on sale for 59 cents each, so I bought both.

M-Azing is basically M&M’s Minis in a chocolate bar. Not just any M&M’s Minis though, crunchy and peanut butter M&M’s. I was wondering if there was a plain and a peanut version, but then I realized how silly it would be to put plain chocolate M&M’s Minis in a chocolate bar and how hard it must be to make peanut M&M’s Minis.

After eating both in one sitting, because I was so bored and lonely in The Impulsive Buy Laboratory, I think M-Azing isn’t that M-Azing. Maybe it’s because I’ve been mixing M&M’s for years with other things like, putting them in chocolate pudding, in a peanut butter sandwich, on top of ice cream, mixing them with Yoo-Hoo, in trail mix, stuffing them into Twinkies, etc.

Don’t get me wrong, they are good, but like I said before, it just isn’t that M-Azing.

Item: Crunchy M-Azing & Peanut Butter M-Azing
Purchase Price: $0.59 each (on sale)
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Cheap price. Good.
Cons: Not that M-Azing. If you’re going to call something M-Azing, it should be amazing.