REVIEW: Limited Edition Oreo Cookie Dough Cookies

Limited Edition Oreo Cookie Dough Cookies package

Ugh! Just give us an Oreo and Chips Ahoy mashup already, Nabisco!

Not doing that is a big miss, yo! Can you imagine all the ridiculous clickbait-y titles that would spawn from a major snack announcement like that?

“Oreo and Chips Ahoy Create A Mind-Blowing Cookie That I Need In My Life Right Now or Else My Life is Ruined”

“Two Iconic Nabisco Brands Give Birth To A Cookie Baby That I Want To Hug With My Mouth”

“This Chips Ahoy and Oreo Mashup Will Make Me Set Up A Ring Alarm System Around My Cookie Jar”

Limited Edition Oreo Cookie Dough Cookies row in packaging

Instead, we get the next sandwich cookie in the Oreo Cookie Dough Choco Chip Trilogy that began in 2014 with the original Cookie Dough Oreo, continued in 2016 with the Choco Chip Oreo, and ended recently with the return of the Cookie Dough Oreo, except instead of the chocolate wafers that the original had, it comes with the chocolate chip cookie-looking wafers that came with the 2016 version.

Limited Edition Oreo Cookie Dough Cookies wafer

Limited Edition Oreo Cookie Dough Cookies creme

However, the creme’s flavor also seems slightly different from the 2014 version, which had a noticeable coffee-like flavor. With the creme in this, I taste a slight brown sugar flavor, a hint of chocolate, and a bit of marshmallow in the aftertaste. That sounds like an absolutely winning combination, but I found this sandwich cookie to be lacking a crazy delicious flavor that would put it in the upper echelon of limited edition Oreo varieties.

Limited Edition Oreo Cookie Dough Cookies side view

While a decent tasting Oreo, I think the chocolate flavor needs to be amped up a bit. It’s so mild that it makes the cookie dough image on the packaging seem misleading. The chocolate makes a huge difference in what makes chocolate chip cookie dough so good, but it’s too bad that these Oreos don’t really offer that in the creme or wafers.

This updated version of Cookie Dough Oreo is not a flavor that makes me want to stuff a row down my cookie hole in one sitting. I’ve had the package for over a week, and I still have one-third of it left. Maybe a decade from now, there will be another reboot of the cookie. Or, even better, an Oreo and Chips Ahoy collaboration.

That would be a mondo-lez mashup, Mondelez!

Purchased Price: $6.19*
Size: 10.68 oz package
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 cookies) 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar (including 12 grams of added sugar), and less than 1 gram of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

REVIEW: Chips Ahoy Chewy Cookie Butter Inspired Cookies

Chips Ahoy Chewy Cookie Butter Inspired Cookies package

What inspires you?

Your family? Money? The prospect of a long and fruitful life?

Boring! How cliché!

Chips Ahoy! has the right idea when it comes to inspiration because they’re only inspired by one thing this holiday season – Cookie Butter!

Some twenty years after the advent of pulverized Speculoos cookie spread, Chips Ahoy! is finally dipping its chips into the world of cookie butter with its new Chewy Chips Ahoy! Cookie Butter (Inspired.)

If you’re wondering what “Speculoos” means, it’s a portmanteau of the words “speculation” and “looky-loo.” Perhaps it’s best you stop being so nosy, you speculoos.

Actually, speculoos are thin spiced Belgian wafers and the centerpiece of cookie butter. I apologize for calling you nosy.

… but speaking of nosy – these Chips Ahoy! smell incredible!

Chips Ahoy Chewy Cookie Butter Inspired Cookies package peeled back

I’ll be honest, Chips Ahoy! Cookies are a mixed bag for me, so I was a bit of a speculoo myself when I saw the folks at Mondelez tackling this flavor profile. The aroma instantly sold me. They smell like 25% gingerbread and 75% fresh pancakes. I’ve been huffing the sleeve for days. It’s getting weird.

Taste begins at your schnoz, right? Surely these scent-sations must taste amazing?

They taste pretty good, but dare I say uninspired?

It’s a nice random sweet cookie, but severely lacking cookie butter flavor.

Top view of Chips Ahoy Chewy Cookie Butter Inspired Cookies

I’m sure you’re all familiar with Biscoff cookies and know what they taste like. They have what I just call a “winter spice” flavor. It’s that concoction of every spice in your Lazy Susan – cinnamon, clove, cardamom, nutmeg, etc. Maybe not all, but you know what I’m saying. They’re delicious. I’m a big fan.

Chips Ahoy Chewy Cookie Butter Inspired Cookies middle

These Chips Ahoy! are tasty but… lack taste. They’re at most about 20% “cookie butter.” They don’t claim to use Biscoff or any cookie similar, but they don’t taste like ‘em anyway. They’re inspired by cookie butter in the same way this review I’m “writing” is technically inspired by the collective works of Bill Shakespeare.

Chips Ahoy Chewy Cookie Butter Inspired Cookies split

The fatal flaw here is in the namesake – the ahoy… no, wait, the chips. Cookie Butter flavored cookies shouldn’t have chips, especially chips that are inexplicably white chocolate, I think? White chocolate inspired at least.

The white chips taste fine, but they’re unnecessary. There is a layer of inspiration in the middle of the cookie that has a little bit of a “gingerbready” flavor when isolated, but it’s no match for the overpowering chips. I guess you just can’t be Chips Ahoy! without chips, but then why do the white chips?

It’s weird — these don’t taste like they should, or like anything, really, and I still like them.

Chips Ahoy Chewy Cookie Butter Inspired Cookies recipes

The best I can tell you is that the “holiday spice” flavor is there, but extremely muted. No one on Earth would ever guess “cookie butter” in a blind taste test. They’d probably say, “uhhh, cookie. Cookie flavor? It tastes like a cookie.” Did Chips Ahoy! just think cookie butter tasted like generic cookie?

There just wasn’t nearly enough inspiration with this flavor. The speculoos over at Chips Ahoy! should’ve probably just stuck to what they know. That said, it’s still a good cookie-tasting cookie.

Purchased Price: $4.97

Size: 9.9 oz

Purchased at: Walmart

Rating: 6 out of 10

Nutrition Facts: (2 Cookies) 140 calories, 7 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 115 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of total carbohydrates, 12 grams of sugar, 0 grams of dietary fiber, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Selena Gomez Oreo Cookies

As Selena Gomez’s hit song said, the heart wants what it wants. My heart wants more Oreo collaborations—not because I crave connection to a favorite star, but because Oreo’s celebrity collaborations yield interesting and inventive flavors. As we junk food fans know, wild possibilities are endless. If we work together, can we manifest a Judge Judy or Weird Al Yankovic Oreo?

In the meantime, I’ll let Selena Gomez Oreo Cookies imbue some glamor and spice in my life. Dressed in pink foil packaging, the cookies follow the Post Malone Oreo as the latest limited edition Oreo-celebrity collaboration. Selena’s signature Oreo is a “horchata-inspired” sandwich cookie. Broken down, the sandwich consists of chocolate cinnamon wafer cookies and two crèmes: chocolate cinnamon and sweetened condensed milk with cinnamon sugar.

Yes, you read “cinnamon” three times in that last sentence. While the individual cinnamon-kissed components are fantastic, the spice somewhat dominates the cookie. The wafers taste like cinnamon cookies touched with cocoa, something like chocolate speculoos. Both cremes are delicious, but the sweetened condensed milk crème is so good that future Oreo muse Weird Al might write a song about it. Its rich milkiness carries a hint of caramelization that makes regular Oreo crème seem like a sugary bore in comparison. Its cinnamon sugar crystals add more flavor than texture without much noticeable grit or crunch.

As one bite, the Oreo loses the nuances that make each component exciting. Cinnamon takes over, and while the cocoa is enough to make the cookie taste different from any number of Cinnamon Toast Crunch products on the market, it’s not enough to taste very chocolatey. I’m not sure both cremes needed cinnamon elements, and I would have loved more of the condensed milk creme to balance out the flavors. Like a cup of cinnamon hot cocoa on a cold day, the cookies’ unexpected combination of sweetness and spice hits the spot, but I didn’t like them as well as the Post Malone Oreos.

Like that product, the Selena Gomez cookies include embossed wafer designs (like headphones, a heart, and the star’s signature) and a QR code on the package that leads to exclusive content for fans.

Whether you adore Selena (Selenators, there’s an embossed wafer dedicated to you!) or cinnamon (cinna-minions, show yourselves!), these Oreos are a must-try. While I would have preferred more chocolate or condensed milk creme, I will still finish the package as I dream up new collaborations. If Selena can convince costars Steve Martin and Martin Short to collaborate on a Double Stuf Oreo, I’ll buy a second package.

Purchased Price: $5.29
Size: 10.68 oz package
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 cookies) 140 calories, 7 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Chips Ahoy Chewy Ice Cream Sandwich Inspired Cookies

Chips Ahoy! has brought us a special summer edition of its Chewy line, and it is Ice Cream Sandwich-inspired. The cookies are regular Chewy Chips Ahoy! with a vanilla creme filling (which is about as basic as you can possibly get). These are exclusive to Walmart.

At room temperature, these cookies are really tasty. It’s hard to go wrong with chocolate chip cookies, but the vanilla creme doesn’t do much.

The packaging says to “Chill for a Treat!” So I tried them frozen. And in that case, they were more reminiscent of ice cream sandwiches, though the texture of the cookies was a little less enjoyable. The frozen filling’s flavor seems a little more noticeable when it’s cold.

And, of course, I had to know if these ice cream sandwich cookies work for ice cream sandwiches. They do, but just because they’re cookies. The filling just gets lost with all the textures when I add ice cream. To be honest, any old cookie would do.

Speaking of filling, I’ve noticed that the distribution is uneven. Some bites have a good quantity of vanilla creme, while others have only little.

I enjoy Chips Ahoy Chewy Ice Cream Sandwich Inspired Cookies, but there’s nothing special about them. I don’t know why the folks at Mondelez bothered to pay the graphic designer to brand them as “summer edition” with a surfboard and summer iconography. If they want to convince me these are a summer treat, they’ll have to come up with something more creative.

Purchased Price: $4.78
Size: 9.9 oz package
Purchased at: Walmart (Exclusive)
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 cookies) 140 calories, 7 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 120 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 12 grams of sugar including 11 grams of added sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Chips Ahoy Blondie Baked Bites

Normally, I’d start my review of Chips Ahoy Blondie Baked Bites with a thin pop culture reference that I’d kinda relate back to the product, but I’m too miffed to have fun right now.

So, my apologies, Debbie Harry, I won’t be using any famous Blondie lyrics to express my opinions. Sorry, Dagwood, I won’t be making a cutesy reference to your wife, the eponymous Blondie’s famous comic strip, because I just have to get down to brass tacks and warn the masses.

I’m not even gonna bury the lede anymore, folks, I almost gave Chips Ahoy Blondie Baked Bites my first 0 out of 10.

Look, before I start, I just wanna say I actually enjoy Chewy Chips Ahoy, and I’ve loved every blondie I’ve ever had. It’s a golden brownie! Cool, nice change of pace, sign me up… but these… man…

In each baggie, you get a handful of little squares they call “Baked Bites,” but they’re really “Clay Clumps.”

The texture of said clumps is lost somewhere in the void between cookie and brownie. It’s not quite Chewy Chips Ahoy, but not quite brownie texture either – any brownie texture, whether you like moist, chewy brownies or crispier dryer brownies, these never get to either pole.

They resemble little pieces of edible cookie dough, but that’s usually softer and often chilled. If you bought edible cookie dough bites and left them uncovered on the counter for six hours, that might be the texture of Chips Ahoy Baked Bites. I kinda recall the inside of those terrible “Cookie Dough Bite” candies being similar, so imagine about twenty of those mashed together with less chocolate.

Needless to say, I’m not a fan of these bites texturally. That said, the texture is great compared to the taste. These are hot garbage.

I really try not to just flat out hate on things I review, but I hate these. “Hate” is a strong word that I genuinely want to eliminate from my vocabulary entirely. Maybe tomorrow. I hate these.

The flavor is as bland as bland can be. The chocolate chips are a desperate hint of a saving grace, but they are chalky and not flavorful enough to save whatever the batter is. These are just unpleasant with a mouth-drying, aspartamey aftertaste that doesn’t go away.

Would you like a dryer, denser Chewy Chips Ahoy with about 50% less sugar? I’ll answer for you. You wouldn’t. The grams of sugar must all be in the chocolate because the blondie part has no sweetness to speak of. These taste like the newspaper Blondie was printed on.

The “Chips Ahoy!” name on the box shouldn’t have an exclamation point but an interrobang (?) because I’m questioning what the heck I just ate. I also really wanted to write the word “interrobang.”

Man, these stink. With all the options out there, I’m prepared to call these unequivocally the worst sweet snack on shelves right now. I’ll die on that hill.

I don’t think I’ve ever said the word “blech” out loud until I ate these. That’s what these taste like, “blech.” They taste like some random onomatopoeia.

Yeah, so anyway, pick up a box. You’ll love ’em? (You probably won’t. Skip ’em.)

Purchased Price: $3.98
Size: 7.5 oz box/5 packs
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 1 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 170 calories, 7 grams of fat, 150 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of total carbohydrates, 13 grams of total sugars, 2 grams of fiber, 2 grams of protein.

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