REVIEW: Clairol Herbal Essences Rainforest Flowers Shampoo

I’m not afraid to admit I use women’s products. For example, tampons are apparently handy when I cut myself shaving.

I don’t do it to get in touch with my feminine side. I watch the WE Network when I want to do that. I also don’t do it to impress women, because no matter what I do, I will NEVER impress women.

The reason why I use women’s products is because they usually smell better than men’s products. Smelling flowery or fruity like a woman is something I don’t mind, because compared to most of the men’s products, it’s a whole lot better.

Recently, I needed a new shampoo because I ran out and because it turns out that I have to wash my dreadlocks.

Choosing the brand and type of shampoo can be daunting, because there are more shampoo choices than there were candidates for this year’s Iraqi presidential elections. (Which was over 7,000 candidates for those of you keeping score at home.)

I decided on the feminine-looking Clairol Herbal Essences Rainforest Flowers Shampoo because it was the one I chose using my tried and true shampoo choosing technique, which is choosing whatever is on sale.

After purchasing the shampoo, I had second thoughts about it because I began to think about the rainforest flowers it took to create the shampoo.

With rainforests disappearing at an alarming rate, the tree-hugger in me, which is part of my feminine side, wondered why Clairol decided to use the rainforest flowers cassia, ginger flower, and banana flower.

If we run out of ginger flowers, that means we’ll run out of ginger, and if we run out of ginger, there won’t be any ginger snaps or gingerbread houses.

If we run out of banana flowers, that means we’ll run out of bananas, and if we run out of bananas, that means we’ll have to find another way to make people slip and fall for our amusement.

Finally, if we run out of cassia… Oh, what the hell am I saying? Cassia is called the bastard cinnamon, and just like all bastard things, no one will miss it if it’s gone.

Despite the use of rainforest flowers, the Herbal Essences Rainforest Flowers Shampoo had a nice sweet, spicy, and flowery scent, but the sensuous arousal powers of the ginger flower might have made me say that.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t get an accurate measurement of how effective this shampoo was because it’s made for colored/permed/dry/damaged hair and I, according to my sexy hairstylist, have normal hair.

But the Herbal Essences Rainforest Flowers Shampoo didn’t change my hair’s color, didn’t make my hair fall out, and didn’t give me Nick Nolte mugshot hair, so I think it did a good job.

Item: Clairol Herbal Essences Rainforest Flowers Shampoo
Purchase Price: $4.00 (on sale)
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Smelled nice. Cleaned my hair. No Nick Nolte mugshot hair. Ginger flower has sensuous arousal powers.
Cons: Not meant for my normal, average, and boring hair. The ginger flower’s sensuous arousal powers was negated by my lack of class and charm.

24 thoughts on “REVIEW: Clairol Herbal Essences Rainforest Flowers Shampoo

  1. when i think of all those beautiful flowers that had to die to make this shampoo….

    wait, what the hell, i’m sure they are all genetically modified plants grown in a huge warehouse somewhere…

    question – is the shampoo itself that pretty reddish pink color, or is that just from the bottle?

  2. Is this one of those shampoos that makes you have a spontaneous orgasm when you use it?

  3. Interestingly enough, I have a bottle of this stuff sitting in my closet while waiting for stuff in the shower to run out. It was on sale at my local WinnDixie (that’s a food store) for $0.50/bottle. Which is why I spent a whole $1 to buy both the shampoo and conditioner.

    Why is mine purple? Megan, this may answer your question …

  4. “no matter what I do, I will NEVER impress women”

    I find that the fact you post every day is QUITE impressive. As a blogger, I post about once every 3 days. So, BIRDWOMAN IS IMPRESSED!

    As for womens products smelling like flowers – I’ve always found that those gnarly wasps and yellowjackets are attracted to the flower scents. I will actually use a man’s product so as not to attract the stinging insects.

    grass is always greener on the other side?

    (*)>

  5. I never really liked Herbal Essences, because it dries out my hair and gives it a strange frizzy texture. I reallllly love Aussie’s Mega Shampoo. You should try that one next time, it’s not too girly. 🙂

  6. You have dreadlocks? =)

    I’ve used Herbal Essences before (wife bought it), but not that particular flavor. Flavor? Yeah, it smells so good it makes me want to drink it…

  7. Herbal Essence shampoo/conditioners have been around for a long long time. I remember using them back in the early 80’s! They went off the market and came back again, but never smelled as good as they did “way back when”. I’m an Aussie Mega Shampoo and 3 Minute Miracle Conditioner user/lover. They’re not expensive and you can use them everyday and they smell great and last all day. Can’t ask for too much more, huh? How can you dislike hair products that have their own philosophy? Check them out!

    http://www.aussie.com/

  8. Megan – Yup, that’s the color of the shampoo. The other color available was yellow and that reminded me too much Johnson & Johnson’s baby shampoo.

    Peggasus – It don’t know what that Nourishing Palm thing is, but I can definitely tell you it’s not a Kung Fu technique.

    Lord Jezo – No organic experience. Just clean, good smelling hair. Also I didn’t get to use a waterfall to rinse my hair, like in the commercials.

    Chuck – You know I probably could get an orgasm from using this product, but not by using it on my hair.

    TheInfamousJ – 50 CENTS A BOTTLE!!! Holy crap! I totally got ripped off!

    birdwoman – But if you use men’s products you might attract female bees and wasps.

  9. Lorien – Actually, my old shampoo was Aussie Moist, which I kind of liked, but got bored of. I guess because I bought the half gallon sized bottle and have been using it for the past year, I should’ve known by the end of the bottle it would get pretty boring.

    nat – NO NICK NOLTE HAIR!!! That reason alone outweighs all the Cons.

    Damon – I don’t know. Those Loreal Kids shampoo combinations make me want to eat them. Although, that would make for a great review. As long as I have the Poison Control Hotline number next to me, I should be fine.

    Bryan – Yeah, mon! Nappy dreads. I feelin’ irie, mon! But not irie enough to drink shampoo.

    Aymie’s Mom – You’re the third person to mention Aussie Mega shampoo. Maybe I need to buy a half gallon of that stuff.

    SEV – Don’t most of the reviews end up with arousal? 🙂

  10. Awesome! I totally use that stuff on my hair (which is artificially red) but I use it in conjuction with Pantene conditioner usually, so I can’t speak to the dry hair problem. I do love the smell though, and it foams up real nice too.

  11. Okay, I have been using this stuff since ’98. Never had the dry hair problem, but I use infusium23 leave-in conditioner, which I highly recommend to everyone. Worth it. And actually, I have had a few orgasmic moments in the shower, though I do not attribute them to the shampoo. So, with dreds, how can you tell if your hair is normal or dry? I’ve never actually known anyone w/them, at least not to thepoint where I could have played w/their hair. And I agree, if you play your cards right, everything should end in arousal and satisfaction. yeah shampoo!

  12. Webmiztris – So have you been eating chili at Wendy’s recently?

    Genny from the Burb – Yeah, it does create a good lather. My Aussie Moist didn’t, maybe it was really good that I changed.

    Amy in GA – Wait, shouldn’t it start with arousal and end with satisfaction?

  13. either one of the two makes for a nice day/night in my book. I have found arousal easier to come by than satisfaction, so am no longer soo picky about which of the two I get.

  14. Amy in GA – I’m a guy so apparently arousal AND satisfaction come easy for me. Sometimes too easy.

  15. Don’t worry about the rainforest. There aren’t enough botanicals in that shampoo to put in one of a fly’s many eyes. Plus all Herbal Essences shampoos are formulated with a very drying cleaning agent (sodium lauryl sulfate), so I’d skip them altogether.

  16. Rae – Phew. The rainforests are safe from Herbal Essences shampoo, but what about loggers and Walmart?

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