Apple Strudel Pop-Tarts

Written by | March 25, 2006

Topics: Food, Pop-Tarts

I don’t know if Kevin Federline likes Pop-Tarts, but I do know that he has a rap album coming out. If K-Fed does like Pop-Tarts and if he wrote lyrics about Pop-Tarts for his album, I think they would go something like this:

My name is K-Fed, I’m richer than you.
Although it’s Britney’s money, I can spend it too.
I buy cars, motorcycles, bling, and booze,
But I also buy Pop-Tarts, any flavor I choose.

I get them by the crate, carton, or barge container,
The ones with chocolate are much greater.
Sometimes when I really can’t decide on a flavor,
I buy every single one and save them for later.

I’ve got a dozen toasters in a row when I have a Pop-Tarts party,
When Britney is away I consume Pop-Tarts and Bacardi.
If I eat two in a row, I call it a meal that’s hearty.
If I eat more than three, the room is gonna smell a little farty.


When I eat two at a time, I hold one in each limb.
When I want more, I give one to my homie Tim.
Yeah I eat a lot of Pop-Tarts, but how do I stay so slim?
I followed the weight loss plan from that Olsen twin.

I’ll stick one in the toaster before I get ready when I’m on the run.
Because I don’t have any hygiene I’m ready before it’s done.
I’d eat a whole box of Pop-Tarts if I want to do something fun.
Cuz I don’t have chores, responsibilities, or an occupation.

Tryin’ to shove a whole Pop-Tart down your mouth is very funny.
I pay members of my entourage to do it for me with Britney’s money.
I feed Pop-Tarts to Sean Preston when he gets hungry.
But I keep them away from Britney, cuz I don’t want her chubby.

Word.

I know K-Fed’s album hasn’t, as Britney would say, “dropped” yet, but I guarantee the Apple Strudel Pop-Tarts will be one billion times better, cause less headaches, be better at getting the hotties on to the dance floor, get more respected from other rappers, and be a better father to K-Fed’s kids.

The Apple Strudel Pop-Tarts are pretty good, although I’m not sure they are as good as the Frosted Apple & Cinnamon Pop-Tarts I had growing up, which was one of my favorite flavors back in the day. For those of you who are too young to remember “back in the day,” back in the day there were only something like six Pop-Tart flavors, half of them had frosting on them. Now it’s like Baskin-Robbins ice cream, with thirty something flavors.

The Apple Strudel Pop-Tarts aren’t as sweet as I remember the Frosted Apple & Cinnamon Pop-Tarts were, but still pretty tasty nonetheless. I’ve never had an apple strudel before, or any kind of strudel for that matter, so I don’t know if it tastes like one. However, it was apple-ish and a little cinnamon-ish.

I only had one gripe with it. I wished there was more frosting on the top of it, instead of the drizzle they have. I know the drizzle makes it look strudel-ish, but having a solid, huge layer of frosting on top would make it even better. But I guess I should be happy that there is some frosting, because Pop-Tarts without frosting are very lame.

Although, frosting-less Pop-Tarts don’t even come close to being as lame as K-Fed dropping some rhymes.

(Editor’s Note: The Impulsive Buy has reviewed a whole heck of a lot of Pop-Tarts over its existence. You can read previous Pop-Tarts reviews here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.)


Item: Apple Strudel Pop-Tarts
Purchased Price: $2.00 (on sale)
Purchased At: Safeway
Rating: 3.5 out of 5
Pros: Tasty. Good. Apple-ish and a little cinnamon-ish. Made with real fruit.
Cons: Needs more frosting on top. Not good frozen. K-Fed’s hygiene. K-Fed’s rhyming ability. K-Fed reproducing. PopoZão.






32 Comments For This Post I'd Love to Hear Yours!

  1. marvo says:

    rose – Don’t forget, you can nibble Pop-Tarts to any shape you want. If I’m bored, I like to make octagons.

  2. Karen says:

    Bring back Milton the Toaster.

    (Marvo, that’s before your time, I know… but Milton was the greatest!)

    http://theimaginaryworld.com/disp33.jpg

    And here he is with Pop-Tarts (which i don’t eat because the frosted ones contain gelatin and i never have been enough of a connoisseur to appreciate plain Pop-Tarts)…

    http://theimaginaryworld.com/disp25.jpg

  3. marvo says:

    Karen – Milton the Toaster? I think that is the worst name for a toaster. Where’s the rhyming? Where’s the alliteration? They should’ve named it, Teddy the Toaster or Toady the Toaster.

  4. Karen says:

    I agree, Marvo!!
    The best Milton “story” is the oddly-named Major Leaguer:
    http://cbs.sportsline.com/mlb/players/playerpage/127049
    Not to be confused with http://www.hasbro.com/miltonbradley/
    (His may be the best name in baseball besides Coco Crisp.)

  5. laina says:

    total lack of frosting. i got some of these the other day and i was irate. they should just sell big chunks of the poptart frosting. mmmmm.

  6. emily says:

    i really feel like the apple strudel pop tart is a weak version of the apple cinnamon, which kicked ass. I also feel strongly that Kellogg’s has removed some of the filling which may or may not have to do with the fact that apple strudel is a weakling, compared to the apple cinnamon’s World’s Strongest Man-type Pop Tart flavor.

    Who the hell came up with “Pop Tart”? I think it was a fan of Madonna…

  7. marvo says:

    Karen – Coco Crisp is the greatest athlete name ever, but Coco by itself is the one of the better stripper names ever.

    laina – Or scrape off the frosting from another Pop-Tart. I think I would be just as good.

    emily – Yes, the frosted apple cinnamon Pop-Tart rocked! You know what, they could cover the entire Pop-Tart with frosting. That would rock even more.

  8. laina says:

    you think YOU would be just as good?? No man is the equal of poptart frosting.

  9. marvo says:

    laina – Oops, there’s an extra “I’ in there. I meant to say “…I think that would be just as good.” I know for a fact that Pop-Tarts are waaaay more attractive than me.

  10. Anonymous says:

    HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. marvo says:

    Anonymous – NO, YOU’RE HILARIOUS!!!

  12. Joe says:

    I think these look tasty mctasty like!

    Pop Tarts Rule!