Burger King French Toast Sandwich

I am human.

I have faults, like sometimes not using a plate to eat toast, not wearing underwear because I’m too lazy to do laundry, or always using the handicap restroom stall, even if all the other stalls are empty.

I have idiosyncrasies, like making smiley faces with my fingers on the fogged up doors in the frozen food section of the grocery store and putting stuffed animals in provocative positions whenever I’m in a toy store.

I also have fears.

Believe me, I have many fears. For example, spiders, mutant killer rabbits, Naomi Campbell holding a cell phone, the Whitney Houston’s song “I Will Always Love You,” women who wear jackets with huge shoulder pads, being in the audience of a hip-hop awards show, Scientologists, and rectal thermometers.

However, perhaps my biggest fear right now is waking up with The King.

Not Elvis or B.B. King. I’m talking about this guy on the right.

Can you imagine waking up next to The King with that big smile on his face?

If I were to wake up with The King, the first thing that would pop up in my mind is, “Am I The Queen?” Then the next thing I would wonder is, “Why is The King smiling at me?”

Now when a guy wakes up next to a woman and she has a big smile on her face, that probably means she got some sweet, sweet lovin’. Of course, I’m assuming this because that’s never happened to me. If I were to wake up next to The King with a big smile on his face, all I would hope is that it wasn’t because of sweet, sweet lovin’.

So I am afraid of The King and I feel the only way to prevent me from waking up with The King is to eat breakfast at Burger King. It’s much like how I’ll try products to please the Advertising Gods, so that a product’s irritating commercial will go away.

(Note to self: Remember to pick up Ice Breakers Ice Cubes to help get rid of the Duff sisters Whoa! commercial.)

So recently I tried the new Burger King French Toast Sandwich, which consists of two slices of cinnamon and maple-flavored French Toast bread (which look like hash browns), one folded omelet egg, melted American cheese, and either bacon, ham, or sausage.

The concept is very similar to the popular McGriddles breakfast sandwich from McDonald’s, which uses pancakes instead of French toast. I decided to try the sausage one, since that is the one thing I am not hoping for if I wake up next to The King.

The first thing I noticed about the Burger King French Toast Sandwich was how small it was. It was about four inches in diameter. However, the same can be said about the McGriddles.

The French toast bun wasn’t fluffy like normal French toast, instead it seemed like they were deep fried. Heck, the eggs were fluffier than the French toast bun. As for the taste, I liked it very much. There was a nice combination of sweet and salty with every bite. Unfortunately, because of its size, there weren’t many bites.

So now that I’ve had my Burger King breakfast I hope I won’t be waking up with The King with that big smile on his face. If I do, I really hope he’s smiling because he either put a Sharpie pen mustache on my face or put my hand in warm water while I was asleep.

(Editor’s Note: Thanks to Impulsive Buy reader Sasha_Kitty for letting me know about the BK French Toast Sandwich.)

Item: Burger King French Toast Sandwich
Price: $2.89
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 3.5 out of 5
Pros: Tasty. Nice sweet and salty combination. Having a choice between sausage, ham, and bacon. Smiley faces on frozen food section doors.
Cons: Small in size. Waking up next to The King. Spiders, mutant killer rabbits, Naomi Campbell holding a cell phone, the Whitney Houston’s song “I Will Always Love You,” women who wear jackets with overly huge shoulder pads, being in the audience of a hip-hop awards show, Scientologists, and rectal thermometers.

31 thoughts to “Burger King French Toast Sandwich”

  1. Oh Marvo, I’m betting if you let a girl in, she’d have a big smile plastered on her face – if for watching you sleep is funny/endearing. =D
    Stupid sausage breakfast sandwiches no matter what incarnation make me drool. So far, the McMuffin is still tops but I’m now convinced to give this a try…..

  2. DId you happen to try the cheesy tots? I wanted to try them badly this weekend but had some massive gut rot…

  3. I wonder if the King is small like the sandwich? I can’t believe I just said that.

  4. Your methodology for getting an advertisement to go away is misguided. As The Simpsons have taught us, the only way rid ourselves of annoying commercial icons is to ignore them. In the words of Paul Anka, “Just don’t look, just don’t look.”

  5. Yeah, I totally think The King is scary too, although within his scariness he does look pretty high…he means you no harm, he probably just wants a ride to BK. Still, I freak out when I wake up with someone staring directly into my face. How violating, heh. I’d direct him to McD’s for breakfast. That sandwich would be awesome if those WERE hashbrowns.

  6. man, i’m with you on how creepy that commecial is. I don’t get their marketing guys’ vision on the plastic face. It’s like saying, instead of being a friendly, open company we would like to offer you suspicious sandwiches that look like Chernobyl meltdowns while hiding behind a creepy plastic king face and spooning you in bed.

  7. 1. i liked yr little “note to self”. (you’re so clever!)
    2. my boyfriend has an irrational response to the burger king guy. whenever one of the various BK commercials comes on, he becomes oddly hypnotized. (no joke.) whereas, while i also find the BK guy gross & weird, i’m able to just look away. this has led me to theorize that the BK guy has some mystical hold over males and is thus specifically marketed toward them. it’s not a scientific theory, but it’s my theory nonetheless. and your reaction to the BK guy supports it 100%

  8. lmao great review glad to know i am not the only one disturbed by “the king” ! and i as a female, am not able to look away, cause i want to make sure his creepy ass isnt sneaking up behind me. he is stealth man!!!

  9. The King.. Eesh. I’m pretty sure that ranks up there with Vietnam Flashbacks, and reruns of Who’s The Boss. Hard times.

    Those do look good.. but, of course, along with all the good lookin food I see now, I cannot try. Been watching what I eat more, on a bit of a diet now, to go along with the obscene amounts of PT I’ve been doing to prepare for this summer. So, no French Toast Sandwich for Andy. 🙁

    …Dear lord, do I hate PT.

  10. Ok, you totally creeped me out twice in this post: first with the shot of that disgusting looking sandwich and second with that shot of The King. He is the creepiest thing on TV right now!

  11. Yeah, The King does sort of look like maybe he has a secret. Perhaps some ben-wa balls. Or blood that is 65% LSD by volume.

    Breakfast sandwiches should be on BREAD. Not dessert. Now you have to go have one of these, assuming that all of this junk food doesn’t cause you to have a massive coronary, first.

  12. If only you can make things like Chocolate Haagan Daaz look as sick and disgusting as the BKFT Sandwich and the Quiznos PR Sandwich I can finally drop some weight.

  13. Scary! Scary! Scary! That Burger King guy is like those nutty wannabe musicians in Insane Clown Posse, or is it/are they Insane Klown Posse… freakin’ frightening!

    The french toast bread sounds awful… no comment on the rest of that sandwich!

    Gimme a couple of bowls of Chocolate Peanut Butter Cap’n Crunch with vanilla rice milk. Now THAT’s breakfast!!

  14. Gwen – I’m sure if a woman watched me sleep it would be funny or endearing…Until the drooling, snoring, and kicking starts.

    Mark – Unfortunately, I didn’t. Actually, I take that back. Fortunately, I didn’t, because if I ate BOTH the French Toast Sandwich AND Cheesy Tots, I don’t think I would’ve lived.

    Sasha_Kitty – Well he does have a big head (the top one), and you know what they say about guy with big heads?

    B – You know what I think it is. I’m just plain lazy. I could either turn my head away, close my eyes, or change the channel using the remote in my hand. Simple and quick ways to avoid the commercial, but I’m too damn lazy to do any of them.

    skibs – You know, I was thinking about hash brown buns while writing this review. I think one of these days I’m going to get a Big Breakfast from McDonald’s with an extra hash brown, slap the egg and sausage in between the two hash browns, and enjoy.

    Jude – I’m sure young Burger King workers across this nation have given the food of unsuspecting customers the “Royal Treatment.”

    Tara – You know what? I say the same thing about Paris Hilton’s lips.

    Bryan – Well I guess we should be glad that his face is molded with a permanent smile, because if it was molded into a permanent face of pleasure, that would be totally wrong.

  15. TG – I had to put that “note to self” in the middle of the review, because usually I would write it in my hand, but I find that the ink disappears quickly due to my slight OCD.

    laina – Now THIS is the reason why some guys have mirrors on the ceiling. Not for some perverted purpose, but to keep an eye out for The King.

    Andy – Hey! You shouldn’t be dissin’ Who’s The Boss for two sexy reasons: Alyssa Milano and Katherine Helmond.

    nat – I would agree that The King is the creepiest thing on TV right now…Until Star Jones returns to The View.

    Mir – Oh, ben wa balls, they’re so much fun, when they’re in someone. As for the Krispy Kreme’s burger, thank goodness the only Krispy Kreme in the state is on another island.

    Gia on Guam – Want to make chocolate Haagan Daaz ice cream look sick and disgusting? This is what you do. Go into a freezer with a pint of chocolate Haagan Daaz ice cream, an ice cream scooper, and roll of wax paper. Pull out about three feet of wax paper and place it on a table. Now using the ice cream scooper, place a scoop of the Haagen Daaz ice cream at about every four inches on the wax paper. Now using your hands or perhaps the ice cream scooper, spread out the scoops of ice cream and turn each scoop into a strip of ice cream. Connect all the strips together to form one gigantic strip. You can also use the wax paper to form your strips by rolling the ice cream like you would for sushi rolls. When you have that long strip, coil it around so it looks like dog doo doo, and voila!

    Karen – It’s Insane Clown Posse, just to let you know. Anyway, I just picked up a box of the Chocolatey Peanut Butter Cap’n Crunch yesterday. I haven’t tried it yet.

  16. Have you seen the new commercial where the KING wakes up and there’s a group of people waiting for him to feed them?
    VERY scary!

  17. Oh my god. I absolutely HATE HATE HATE the new Bk commercials with the King. They’re downright disturbing.

    If I wake up in the morning and look out the window and see this mutant staring back at me, I wouldn’t accept a sandwich from him- I’d scream bloody murder and call the cops, and sic my dog on it. If I were a lumberjack all alone in the forest and see this freak of nature staring at me behind a tree, I’d use my chainsaw on it. AND if I were a construction worker doing my job 80 stories in the air, and this fucking thing pops up in front of me, you can bet that I’ll be shoving it off the ledge.

  18. Marvo, you will dine with me thrice a day. You love everything about me. My fries, my shakes, my smile. Marvo, you must have me now.

  19. I live 13 degrees from the equator…no way in hell the ice cream would last long enough to roll like sushi.

  20. Hrm. I think the new Burger King commercials are hysterical. Maybe it’s a high-schooler thing. I completely agree with you about those gum commercials, though. And I’m amazed that you can still walk with a lead ball like that sandwich in your stomach, let alone run.

    Also- why is she THE Whitney Houston, hm?

  21. The Cap’n Crunch cereal is pretty good. Pretty different than the Reese’s PB cereal, believe it or not.

    I was gonna mail you a box but you’ve got one already… awaiting your heady review!

    To be honest, even after all my years on Urth, clowns scare me… therefore i spell the word as Klown whenever possible…

    The letter “K” is big Hawaii, too. Yet another reason to love it!

  22. thanks for reviewing this…I’ve been tempted to try it, but I’m just not sure! I like french toast and eggs separate, but the thought of them in the same bite scares me. weird, I know…

    P.S. The King scares the bejesus out of me!

  23. The King is freaky. I avoid Burger King due to fear that they’ll start have a employee wear the costume as some misguided promotional event…. Breakfast of choice now being a steak egg and cheese bagel from Dunkin Donuts. Damn, now I’m hungry, off to the 24hr DD!

  24. Chana – Aaah, just like a true monarchy!

    Toni – I don’t know if your dog would attack The King successfully. He would probably throw one of his meaty sandwich to distract your dog.

    The King – Don’t forget your Whopper!

    Gia on Guam – That’s what the walk-in freezer is for.

    Tristyn – It’s THE Whitney Houston because I have bad grammar and if I don’t add “THE” Whitney will attack me with her crack pipe. 🙁

    Karen – The cereal was so-so. So is the letter K. Oh wait, your name starts with a K. K is one of the greatest letters ever, because you can’t write “totally killer” without it.

    Webmiztris – You could separate the French toast and eat that separately with syrup. Or throw it at The King if he’s staring at you.

    Barb – If only I knew where the Dunkin’ Donuts were on this island. They closed the drive-thru one near my place. Damn you Dunkin’ Donuts! Damn you!

  25. ^^^ I would assume it’s a heart attack on a bun, but you can look to see if it’s on burgerking.com

    This look absolutely revolting. That’s all I have to say.

  26. leonard – I don’t think BK.com has the info, but Slashfood came up with an estimate of the nutrition info for this. You can see that here.

    Sarah – It looks revoltingly good. 😉

  27. I am so glad I’m not the only one who thinks that the BK King is just plain freaky.

  28. Andy & Lou – I’m sure he haunts the minds of many people — and clogs the arteries as well.

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