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Bath & Body Works Temptations Iced Tea Twist
By Marvo | July 8, 2007
Right now, I want you to close your eyes and imagine me washing my body with the Bath & Body Works Temptations Iced Tea Twist. Do you like what you’re picturing in your mind?
If you’re having a hard time thinking of what my lathered up bod looks like, let me help you out.
My chest is like Kate Moss’, except I have slightly bigger boobs than she does and a lot more hair. Growl! Like wooden chopsticks at a sushi bar, my arms are skinny, pale, and can only lift things by using both of them at the same time, unless I stab stuff with one arm. My gut could be a six-pack if I sucked it in hard enough, but I don’t, so instead it looks like a mini-keg. If you’ve seen rap video hoochies, you know what my booty looks like, except extremely pale. My legs are like a fine thoroughbred racing horse’s, only in furriness, not in shape or muscle definition. Finally, at certain angles my head kind of looks like John Cho’s from Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle.
Now wrap all of that together, and put some soap suds over it, and you can imagine me cleaning my wet naked body with the Bath & Body Works Temptations Iced Tea Twist. Can you visualize it? Can you see my glistening physique? Oooh, do you like what you see? Do you like what you smell?
Well I don’t like what I smell, because the Bath & Body Works Temptations Iced Tea Twist makes me smell like lemon Pledge wood spray.
The only times I should smell like lemon Pledge is if I’m getting it on with a hot cleaning maid who speaks very little English on a freshly-cleaned dining table or being sprayed in the face with lemon Pledge by a hot cleaning maid after using the pick up line, “I’ve got something else that’s hard and wooden that needs some cleaning…and lovin’.”
I don’t know if the Iced Tea Twist combined with my au naturel body odor causes some kind of chemical reaction to make it smell like lemon Pledge, but it disappoints me because in the bottle the Iced Tea Twist actually smells like the iced tea I make with the sweetened Nestea iced tea powder mix. It smells good enough that if I wanted to put a Jackass-type of video up on YouTube and the bottle didn’t specifically say, “CAUTION: FOR ADULT EXTERNAL USE ONLY,” I would totally mix it with some chilled filtered water, drink it, then call the National Capital Poison Center at 1-800-222-1222 and hope I don’t die.
The lemon Pledge smell is definitely a turn off, but the metallic brown color of the Bath & Body Works Temptations Iced Tea Twist is pretty and I would probably use it if I decide to pimp my 2003 Toyota Corolla and turn it into a rice racer. Finally, Iced Tea Twist is like RuPaul, because they are both 3-in-1. While the Iced Tea Twist is a body wash, bubble bath and shampoo, RuPaul is a woman, a man and FABULOUS.
So if you enjoy smelling like lemon Pledge, and I’m pretty sure one percent of you do, the Bath & Body Works Temptations Iced Tea Twist is the next best thing behind using lemon Pledge as an eau de toilette. For the other 99 percent of you, I would recommend avoiding it, because it’s not appealing at all, just like imagining me lathering up my naked body.
(Editor’s Note: Since I won’t be using the rest of the bottle, I’m giving it away. Although, it’s been next to my naked body and I have cooties, so I think I might have a hard time getting rid of it. However, if you’re interested in receiving the rest of the bottle of Bath & Body Works Temptations Iced Tea Twist and possibly getting cooties, just leave a comment with this review with the words “I want to smell like lemon Pledge” and I’ll have a drawing for it. The drawing is open to everyone and entries will be accepted until Sunday, July 15, 2007.)
Item: Bath & Body Works Temptations Iced Tea Twist
Price: $6.00 (on sale)
Purchased at: Bath & Body Works
Rating: 1 out of 5
Pros: Smells like sweetened Nestea iced tea in the bottle. Cool metallic brown color. Body wash, bubble bath and shampoo. Hot cleaning maids.
Cons: Smells like lemon Pledge on my body. For external use only. Visualizing me washing my naked body with the Bath & Body Works Temptations Iced Tea Twist. Having bigger boobs than Kate Moss.
Topics: 1 Rating, Bath & Body Works, Body Wash, Personal |
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July 8th, 2007 at 11:26 pm
I would love to have the rest of the bottle. Count me in that 1%.
July 9th, 2007 at 1:45 am
I want to smell like lemon Pledge!
July 9th, 2007 at 2:06 am
Hey Marvo…I think this is the first contest you’ve had that I’ll be passing on. This stuff just sounds plain strange to me.
So, does Lemon Pledge make for an effective lubricant when getting it on with hot maids? Enquiring minds want to know!
July 9th, 2007 at 2:19 am
Great taste in cars Marvo, I drive a 2003 Corolla too!
July 9th, 2007 at 3:53 am
i wanna smell like lemon pledge that way maybe i can trick my husband into thinking i spent all day cleaning
July 9th, 2007 at 3:57 am
I want to smell like lemon Pledge!!!
I already smell like an Alluring Apple and a Pecan Passion so now I NEED to smell like Lemon Pledge.
July 9th, 2007 at 4:25 am
I want to smell like lemon Pledge. Thanks.
July 9th, 2007 at 5:00 am
I want to smell like lemon pledge too.
July 9th, 2007 at 5:36 am
I want to smell like Lemon Pledge! And not just because you’ve used it, Marvo. That’s just a bonus!!
July 9th, 2007 at 5:39 am
i want to smell like lemon pledge!
July 9th, 2007 at 5:55 am
I have a can of lemon Pledge or something like it so no, thanks, but I really REALLY appreciate the offer to own something that’s been in your shower, which I’m sure is so clean one could eat from the tile provided there was something in the way like a newly installed bathtub refit or at least some Saran Wrap.
July 9th, 2007 at 6:10 am
I really, really, REALLY want to smell like lemon pledge!!!!!
July 9th, 2007 at 6:29 am
I want to smell like lemon Pledge!!
July 9th, 2007 at 6:59 am
you are awesome. and i want to smell like lemon pledge. but only because the bottle has been next to your naked body
July 9th, 2007 at 7:59 am
I want to smell like lemon pledge.
July 9th, 2007 at 8:15 am
Mmm…John Cho. This review was very sexy.
But no thanks to the product. I really really DON’T want to smell like Lemon Pledge.
July 9th, 2007 at 8:19 am
Marvo, your problem with the hot maid is your pick-up line. It’s too long and complicated. Keeping in mind she barely speaks english, you’re better off suggesting with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.. “I’ve got some wood for you to polish”, while pointing at your groin.Maybe that is a bit overused….
Anyhow, as for this product, I am not sure why anyone would want to smell like iced tea. But, I guess Bath & Body Works feels there’s a market for it somewhere.
July 9th, 2007 at 9:35 am
I want to smell like lemon pledge.
no…i would LOVE to smell like lemon pledge.
I’ve always had a thing for freshly cleaned wood.
July 9th, 2007 at 10:20 am
I want to smell like lemon pledge!
Believe it or not, I’ve bought out my local BABW of this scent…AND I’m almost out! I have a whole network of friends who use this scent now. I’m kind of like an Iced Tea Twist Godfather.
Honestly, I love the scent. I hate to hear you don’t like it.
-s-
July 9th, 2007 at 11:02 am
I really DONT want to smell like lemon pledge. I*t reminds me of when my mom use to clean the house I grew up in. I Reeeealy don’t want the visual on my mom in her sweat pants polishing the table while I’m washing my junk in the shower.
July 9th, 2007 at 11:21 am
i like the visual and likely because of that, i’d like to smell like lemon pledge.
July 9th, 2007 at 12:40 pm
I want to smell like lemon Pledge!
That shower gel smells just like Nestea in a can. Which is great, because the last thing you want to do with canned tea is ingest it.
July 9th, 2007 at 1:56 pm
I want to smell like lemon pledge please.
July 9th, 2007 at 5:08 pm
“I want to smell like lemon Pledge”
July 9th, 2007 at 6:13 pm
I already smell like lemon pledge. Not because I use this Iced Tea stuff, but because I use lemon pledge. I think that it is the best way to keep my skin shiny and bright. And it helps repel the dust that other cleaners attract.
Look at the positive Marvo - it could smell like plain old pledge - that stuff is nasty.
July 9th, 2007 at 10:13 pm
Based on that description of you I’d “hit that” but only from the neck up, cuz that john cho ain’t too bad. hypothetically speaking ofcourse.
I want to smell like lemon pledge
but not really. I’m in it for free crap that I would like to try out
July 10th, 2007 at 1:48 am
I never thought I would say these words and if I ever run for political office, they may come back to haunt me; but here goes: I want to smell like Lemon Pledge.
July 10th, 2007 at 1:55 am
I usually like body washes that smell like drinks… But there are some beverages i dont think make good body wash scents. Like ice tea, beer, milk…tomato juice. theres probably more.
July 10th, 2007 at 4:10 am
Hah! I do NOT want to smell like Lemon Pledge, thanks. I just cruised over from Chuck’s place (Beyond The Cheddar Curtain) and I’m glad I did. Funny stuff!
July 10th, 2007 at 4:58 am
Just make your own iced tea to bathe in that way you can smell any way you want.
July 10th, 2007 at 4:59 am
I wouldn’t particularly enjoy smelling of lemon pledge, but it could work out for my brother; to mask his horrid body odor of course.
July 10th, 2007 at 5:12 am
LOL! I’ll pass on this one. I can’t imagine why anyone would want to smell like Iced Tea OR Pledge!
July 10th, 2007 at 7:00 am
I want to smell like Lemon Pledge! I LOOOOOVE this stuff. It smells like yummy Lipton Sweetened tea powder to me too, only it actually still smells like that ON me. I have the lotion, and the advantage of that being brown is that it’s like an instant bronzer! Must just be you - send that stuff over here!
July 10th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
I so want to smell like lemon pledge! So much better than the orange glo I have been using to shower with….
July 10th, 2007 at 5:38 pm
Hahaha. Oh, man. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but:
i want to smell like lemon pledge.
July 11th, 2007 at 10:11 am
I want to smell like lemon Pledge
July 12th, 2007 at 6:16 am
This is kinda off topic, but if you wanna smell like Lemon Pledge, try Lemon Sugar perfume by fresh. I use it all the time, and that’s totally what I smell like. Now if I could just find my French maid outfit…
July 12th, 2007 at 10:59 pm
QUESTION! Why not just rub Lemon Pledge on one’s self like I’ve already been doing for years?
July 14th, 2007 at 5:58 am
Smelling like Lemon Pledge might be erotically interesting in a clean sort of way.