REVIEW: Wendy’s Baconator

Wendy's Baconator

The Wendy’s Baconator has a name usually reserved for those college students who fully take advantage of the all-you-can-eat breakfast bar in the dormitory cafeteria or the wingmen who takes home the fat chicks.

It’s a simple burger that doesn’t have any secret sauces, fancy breads, exotic cheeses, special meats, or vegetables. It’s just two lightly salted quarter pound patties of ground beef, six strips of bacon, two slices of cheese, ketchup, and mayonnaise in between a bun.

In this day and age of Ciabatta bread and chipotle peppers, the Baconator’s simplicity is comforting, like freshly baked chocolate chip cookies and milk or nestling my head in between the voluptuous bosom of a woman.

Of course, what’s not comforting about the Baconator is its nutritional values, which makes the Big Mac’s seem small, like a penis after being dunked in the cold water.

While the Baconator has 830 calories, 51 grams of fat, 22 grams of saturated fat, 2.5 grams of trans fat, 170 milligrams of cholesterol, and 1,920 milligrams of sodium, the Big Mac has the less artery-clogging values of 540 calories, 29 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 1.5 grams of trans fat, 75 milligrams of cholesterol. and 1,040 milligrams of sodium.

With all that meat and its nutritional values, the Baconator is not a burger that you would want to eat often or during your recovery from triple bypass surgery or in the middle of a Weight Watchers meeting or in the lion’s den at a zoo or at a PETA protest. But if you can eat several of these in one sitting, you should be given the nickname, “Baconator-tor.”

Despite its unhealthiness and fugliness in the picture above, the Baconator a pretty good burger. It was smaller than I thought it would be, but it’s a pretty dense burger. As a matter of fact, when I was carrying the paper Wendy’s bag it came in, it kind of felt like it was going to fall through the bottom.

As for its taste, the smokiness from the bacon complimented well with the juicy ground beef patties and the two slices of cheese. The ketchup and mayonnaise added a nice creamy tomato flavor to it. All together, it created a simple, classic taste, like something I would’ve gotten from a drive-in restaurant from the 1950s.

But all is not perfect with this burger. Wendy’s claims the Baconator has six strips of bacon, and it technically does, but those strips were awfully short. I know bacon shrinks significantly when cooked, but it would probably take two or three strips from the Baconator to equal one strip of bacon from a package I bought from the store and fried on my own.

Overall, it’s a really good burger. Although, after eating one, I feel like my lifespan has shortened a little bit. Again, it’s simple with a classic taste, which I really like.

I wish I could say the same for the type of women I like, which is high-maintenance, high heels, and with a high tolerance of me.

Item: Wendy’s Baconator
Price: $6.49 (Small Combo)
Purchased at: Wendy’s
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Simple burger with a classic taste. Heavy burger. Half pound of beef. Freshly baked chocolate chip cookies and milk. Resting my head in between the voluptuous bosom of a woman.
Cons: Six strips of bacon were small. Bad nutritional values that make the Big Mac’s look healthy. 2.5 grams of trans fat. Eating meat at a PETA protest. Eating a Baconator at a Weight Watchers meeting.

22 thoughts on “REVIEW: Wendy’s Baconator

  1. No immediate noticeable effects on your body after all of that? I can feel the heartburn creeping up on me as I read this… And why the attraction to high maintenance women? You need a simple and classic woman to balance out your oddly perverse self.

  2. I wanted to get this to write about but every time I thought about setting off to get one I remembered that I shouldn’t be eating such things and instead ate oatmeal.

  3. I had one of these and kind of thought it was lame. If I’m going to be clogging my arteries, I want delicious, not just average! I think JITB does a better job of clogging your arteries in a tasty manner with their ultimate bacon cheeseburger.

  4. This reminds me of the Hardee’s Monster Thickburger, which was DELICIOUS, but made you feel that death was imminent. Because of that, I’ve been thinking about trying one of these things…I just haven’t managed to starve myself for a full day (week?) in order to justify such a ridiculous meal. Good thing I read your review first, though – I hate ketchup and mayonnaise!

  5. wow, it looks really good, but I refuse to eat anything with that much fat/calories in it. I’d feel so guilty after eating it, I’d probably have to go to confession. ;)

  6. Damn, that looks good. But imagine if those bacon strips were bigger. You’d be consuming at least 1000 calories. And all that sodium! I’m swelling up as we speak.

  7. I saw a commercial for this and wanted one, but didn’t feel like eating a coronary sandwich. My heart patient father, however, can’t wait to try one. Hope you’ll let us know how you feel after the angioplasty, Marvo.

  8. Yikes! I feel like throwing up just looking at that thing! I kind of balk at eating two patties in one sandwich, but, conversely, wouldn’t think twice about eating the same amount of meat in a single patty bacon burger from, say, Islands Fine Burgers or Ruby Tuesday’s…I suppose I’m kidding myself that I’m eating “less”…

  9. sounds great at the time? just like that girl u just picked up a 3 am. but afterward u felt like u just ate a roll of nickles. and ur karma just hit a new all time low in ur family tree!

  10. So expensive! But I know my husband wants to try one. He loves burgers with meat, meat, cheese, and then either bacon or jalapenos.

  11. ew just looking at that pictue makes me feel sick.my dad always gets the baconator everytime we go to wendys and i just cant stand the smell.

  12. When I saw the commercials for the Baconator, I hated them. They were AWFUL, but the burger itself looked awesome. I still want to try one, but I just can’t justify eating 830 calories of burger.

    I mean, come on. I’ll die if I do. I know I will.

  13. i ordered this the other day by chanting “baconator baconator!” into the drive thru box. the guy on the other end of the line didn’t so much as stutter, indicating to me that a lot of people are excited about this burger and ordering it in excited ways.

    anyway, it was OK. i might have it one more time before it disappears for some more ridiculous gimmick sandwich. (ie carls jr’s Hawaiian teryaki burger w/ pineapple. officially: blech…)

  14. I feel for your heart after that one. The feeling of it about to take out the bottom of the Wendy’s bag makes me cringe in fear a bit, but if you can annoy the people at the drive thru like shatraw above then it just may be worth the bypass surgery later in life….

  15. cian – I just need a woman…period.

    Lord Jezo – You have chosen wisely grasshopper. May your wisdom show you the way to happiness or lower cholesterol.

    Chuck – Oh yes, the Ultimate Bacon Cheeseburger. That is some good shit. Do you remember the JITB Colossus? That was the 1990’s version of the Monster Thickburger.

    Rhawb – This burger kind of made me feel death was imminent, but it really made me feel like bad gas was definitely imminent.

    Webmiztris – Maybe after you smoke a bowl, you’ll have the urge for it.

    betsy – Sadly, they will probably make a burger worse than this.

    Brie – Pfff…What’s a little water weight gain. :-)

    Clevegal42 – I’ll let you know about that angioplasty in about five years.

    Molly – I’ve been to Islands Fine Burgers in Ala Moana once and I have to say that I wasn’t impressed. Also, fries have to be purchased extra. Another also, my mouth isn’t big enough to fit any of their burgers. The waitresses are nice.

  16. db cooper – I felt like I ate a roll of nickels after eating this. Thank goodness they weren’t nickels, because I would not want to take them to the Coinstar machine after I poop them out.

    AmberLB – Has your husband tried the Jalapeno Burger from Carl’s Jr. It’s been out for a while. It’s decent, but it is spicy.

    anna – You know what makes me sick? Excessive media coverage of Paris Hilton.

    The Lazy Canadian – If the Grim Reaper is standing next to you when you eat it, yes you will die.

    goldcoaster – Just like me, it’s prettier in person.

    shatraw – I liked the Carl’s Jr. Hawaiian Teriyaki Burger. Although, I’m from Hawaii and by law I’m supposed to support anything with the word “Hawaiian” in it.

    Jackers – Oh, that bypass surgery is guaranteed, and after recovery, I’m totally reviewing it.

    Peachy – It’s calling your name. Peachy…Peachy.

  17. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIB YOU FEEL MY WORLD WITH MUCH NEEDED AND JOY AND HUMOR REAFFIRMING THE HUMOR I SEE IN FOOD!

    if you eat the baconator with you turn into a terminator that will one day become the governator?

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