Pringles Extreme Screamin’ Dill Pickle

Pringles Extreme Screamin' Dill Pickle

Sometimes I feel like I’m stuck in an M.C. Escher painting, running through endless corridors of waterfalls and weird shit only to end up in the same place. This might be because I browse the shopping aisles after taking a tab of acid, but it’s more likely that I’m just running into the same lazy promotions. Oh boy, another company gone “extreme” to spice up my life. I’ve grown weary of writing “extreme” jokes every other review, so if this is their intention, they have turned me into a beaten man.

Luckily, there is more to this damnation of cardboard tube than a stupid name, and believe me, it is a very stupid name. “Screamin’ Dill Pickle” was actually slang for gonorrhea where I grew up. It brought back some bad memories when I saw this on the shelves. Pickle flavoring on Pringles scared the shit out of me. I absolutely hate it when I get pickle juice on my fries, so pickle flavoring on Pringles would probably be that much worse.

I should probably explain Pringles to the uninitiated. Pringles are for small children who enjoy the novelty of eating stackable chips and stoners who like making those Pringles lips as seen in the commercials. If potato chips were steak, then Pringles would be mechanically separated beef. That’s because Pringles are “potato crisps” that are made from a potato-based dough not unlike your favorite instant mashed potatoes. While this does wonders for their ability to be neatly stacked into tubes, it doesn’t keep Pringles from tasting like salty paper.

While I figured that I probably wouldn’t enjoy this, I was still willing to give it a shot. I figured that the pickle flavoring would be mild at best. I also enjoy partaking in a crispy pickle spear fresh from the jar every once in a while, so I figured that I was prepared for some mighty picklage. However, you readers should know by now that I judge about as well as Lance Ito.

This is either the best thing ever or a nauseating abomination depending on your level of sanity. I don’t know how they did it, but it actually tastes more pickley than a pickle. It pretty much tastes like a McDonalds pickle if you were to take a swig of the juice right after consumption and then had someone kick you right in the nuts.

An informal taste test among a few friends confirmed that it is indeed disgusting, even for pickle lovers. The smell of it is also unsettlingly pungent. Just opening the tube around people leads to many audible complaints, escalating into violent threats after an extended period of time. If you ever sense the pleasurable aroma of pickles at your house, don’t be alarmed. It’s just me opening my Pringles and wondering if these extreme companies will ever let me go shopping sober again.

(Nutritional Facts – 1 ounce – 150 calories, 10 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 mg of cholesterol, 110mg sodium, 14 grams of carbs, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 1 gram of sugar, 1 gram of protein, 0% Vitamin A, 6% Vitamin C, 2% Calcium, and 0% Iron)

Item: Pringles Extreme Screamin’ Dill Pickle
Price: 99 cents
Purchased at: Stater Bros.
Rating: 2 out of 10
Pros: Very, very, very pickley if you’re into that sort of thing. Tube is sturdy and plastic cap fits well. May be able to fit some small tennis balls in there.
Cons: Just one chip tastes like ten concentrated pickle slices. The smell is ridiculously strong and literally nauseating. People who make Pringles lips. Pringles kind of suck compared to real potato chips. Companies that are too lazy to name their products anything other than Extreme.

28 thoughts to “Pringles Extreme Screamin’ Dill Pickle”

  1. Al, dude, calm down big guy…

    On second thought, keep it up. And we can label you “Extreme Al” with “Screamin’ at Grandpa” flavor.

    Man, I’ve tried some weird ass foods over the years, but I just turned around and walked away when I saw these at the store.

  2. These are just so wrong on so many levels.
    Ace, a great review, I had the displeasure of someone assaulting my sense of smell with this product and your quite right.. nauseating smell and concept.

  3. Marvo – I would be, but instead of food humor and puns, my parody songs mostly consist of dick jokes and sex sounds.

    bj – I haven’t had other pickle chips, so I can’t comment, but I don’t think many people would enjoy this.

    liz – No, but I sure hope the Jones Soda isn’t reading this because I don’t want them to get any ideas.

    Red Icculus – Yes, their phallic nature is rather threatening.

    Aly – I almost signed up for a Potato Chip of the Month club once because I saw they had ketchup chips. Then I realized that I couldn’t afford $10 per bag of chip.

    Nevis – 1. TRUTH. 2. It also confuses me, because I’m pretty sure people into hiking and extreme activities like trail mix and freeze-dried foodstuffs. I’m guessing it’s for skateboarding children with ADD.

    Shannon – I actually hope you like it. I mean…I’m guessing somebody has to like it, it did go through testing, right?

    Brie – They were truly visionaries for our extremely extreme culture.

    Lauren K. – It’s my job to disgust, dismay, and entertain myself and the readers.

    Chuck – There are so many good habanero-flavored kettle chips that I wouldn’t be too thrilled. Pringles has to invent new peppers or drill the ocean for nectar like the company in Cloverfield to win me over again.

    Ted – For an Asian person, not very often. There are like 50 around here though(live next to Little Saigon) so I should probably go looking for weird crap sometime.

  4. SheRa – Those Drew Barrymore commercials scare the crap out of me. Her face takes up like 110% of the screen, I don’t know how they do it.

    Kylie – That’s not all! Wikipedia says: “In digital photography, the translucent Pringles can lid can be used to “white balance” digital cameras.” Maybe this crap was worth getting after all.

    kevin – Well, it depends on who’s doing it and how naked I am when the act occurs.

    that bees chick – Yeah, it’s actually pretty cool until you realize how disgusting it is. Kind of like those Harry Potter jelly beans.

    a girl – We have a few, but they’re not really popular. Maybe they’d catch on here if Steve Nash endorsed them or the kids on Degrassi ate them.

    Peachy – Yes, it’s refreshing to see multi-million dollar companies spell correctly for once.

    Alisha – That’s pretty much my review in 3 words.

    AL – I don’t know if you’re insane or brilliant, but good times.

    Rotten Arsenal – Wow, these chips are so bad that it literally disrupted your shopping path. That’s about as a product can scare someone off.

    bikerbabeee – It’s probably the worst smelling snack ever. And it’s still just sitting in my room. I want to throw it out, but I don’t want the garbage man to have to endure it.

  5. I like putting potato chips & pickles on my sandwiches. These kill two birds with one stone.

    Just like eating a jewish pickle. Someone finally got it right!

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