REVIEW: Red Baron Singles: Pepperoni Deep Dish Mini Pizzas

With so many new products coming out every month, it’s become very hard to be competitive in the world of frozen pizzas. Creepy weirdo Wolfgang Puck and the fancy folks at California Pizza Kitchen can make shopping for a decent pizza very confusing. You’re already racking your brain wondering how Rachael Ray got her own talk show; you don’t need more queries running through your head.

So when you don’t feel like having peanut butter or bean sprouts on your pizza, you want something hearty, simple, and fattening. That’s where the Red Baron comes in. When he isn’t shooting down pilots during World War I, he’s making cheap frozen pizzas that are made with four foundational ingredients: cheese, dough, sauce, and grease. Pepperoni is often added for flavor. This is the case with these mini deep dish pizzas, which are look like the result of Bagel Bites ingesting a cocktail of steroids and HGH every morning.

Half of the battle with enjoying a frozen pizza is how you cook it. In my lazier days, I would simply microwave the crap out of it and then fry it on a bed of butter and parmesan cheese to crisp up the bottom. It was definitely quicker, but was it really worth the shame spiral that I put myself through? Probably not. The toaster oven is really the best place to heat these up, as you simply throw it in for ten minutes before being rewarded with crispy rounds of pizza goodness.

The box, though, claims that it is microwavable. We all know, however, that microwave pizzas are forever doomed to be disgusting and impossible to heat evenly. The cheese and sauce form a pink blob of sadness as they meld together in unholy matrimony. The cheese on the outside is burnt and the middle of the pizzas are filled with a small pool of water from the uncooked cheese. I’d venture a guess and say that the silver “crisping” trays that come with most microwavable pizzas are made from painted cardboard. This method of cooking is not recommended.

As for the pizzas themselves, they are sufficient for a quick snack and are perfect as an hors d’oeuvre at a hoity-toity sports party. You can even use them to feed your friends who you do not think can eat a regular pizza without smearing toppings all over your furniture. They are easy to eat and have those delectable cubes of pepperoni in order to ensure that every bite is filled with that greasy and salty flavor that America has fallen in love with.

Just don’t be expecting a Chicago deep dish where the majority of the pizza is toppings. These pizzas are mostly crust, so those of you who love your toppings and sauce might want to steer clear. Overall, it’s a cheap and filling pizza product that’s easy to make. You may not be getting any organic toppings or a message about some type of fair trade, but you’ll probably be too stuffed to care.

(Nutritional Facts – 4 pizzas – 470 calories, 26 grams of fat, 13 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 40 mg of cholesterol, 980mg sodium, 43 grams of carbs, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 4 grams of sugar, 16 grams of protein, 8% Vitamin A, 4% Vitamin C, 20% Calcium, and 15% Iron)

Item: Red Baron Singles: Pepperoni Deep Dish Mini Pizzas
Price: $2.00
Purchased at: Albertsons
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Cubed pepperoni and ergonomic design makes for easy eating. Very quick to crisp up in the toaster oven. Can be served on a fancy tray with other bite-sized appetizers.
Cons: Mostly crust. Come out terribly in the microwave. Shopping for frozen pizzas can be confusing. Frying a microwaved pizza in order to crisp it up.

17 thoughts on “REVIEW: Red Baron Singles: Pepperoni Deep Dish Mini Pizzas

  1. These are my favorite out of the frozen pizzas! I’ve tried them out of the oven and I’ve microwaved them. I prefer to just nuke them for a few minutes, I like the chewy consistency of the pizza better then crunchy. I’m glad you did a review of this finally!

    Now you need to go to Ihop and try their Who-cakes!

  2. Mmmmm…Peanut butter and bean sprout pizza. Wolfgang Puck may be creepy, but I enjoy crazy toppings.

  3. Hmmmmmm, I was headed to the grocery store to pick up a frozen pizza for lunch (amongst other things). I was thinking a CPK but you may have just changed my mind…

  4. Marvo</b – If by “keepin it real,” means slowly giving Ace diabetes, then yes, pepperoni pizza is keepin’ it real.

    Chuck – Pepperoni is divine in any of its forms. Cubed sausages need love too.

    foodie – I have idea what a who-cake is, but if it’s anything like their stuffed french toast I will be heading there for dinner.

    Karen – I enjoy that he sounds like he’s screaming at a small toddler when he speaks, it makes me feel kind of special in a very strange way.

    Susu – Yes, it’s one of the worst parts of bachelorhood. Kind of like ramen noodles and Kraft macaroni and cheese.

    Kylie – I actually like a few of the CPK flavors, but I sadly can’t afford $5 for an individual pizza.

    bj – I agree. They’re a little on the small side but the fact that they’re pre-cut makes up for it.

    Gabs – Yes, and with just a fraction of the sugar! So it’s good for you…sort of.

    Nevis – I’m pretty sure that’s the first sign of schizophrenia and/or pregnancy.

  5. The worst are the Celeste pizzas in the microwave- the cheese melt into rubber and you pick it up in one big limp hunk. Barf.

  6. yum pizza. but these arent all that great. when i microwaved mines they reminded me of school lunch pizza. the best red baron product is the french bread pizza!

  7. i thought frozen pizza was on the do not eat list because they were made in china?

    either way frozen pizza is pretty amazing especially personal pizzas. totally agree that frozen pizzas when microwaved come out like crap hello people invest in a toaster oven!

  8. You know my favovite part of junk food like this? It’s how they really try and take your mind off of the fatty/salty doom. Such as “A Good Source of Calcium” or “High in Protein”.

    Try the Red Baron French Bread Pizza in Deluxe a.k.a. Combonation. As Rachael would say “YUMM-O”. I hate myself for typing that…

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