REVIEW: Subway Chicken Florentine Flatbread

After trying the Subway Chicken Florentine Flatbread sandwich, I have realized that all other Subway sandwiches are as boring as watching child actors who don’t get addicted to drugs grow. The simple formula of bread that’s fluffier than a Jonas Brothers’ hairstyle, meat, veggies, and condiments gave me an option when I wanted fast food, but didn’t feel like eating a burger and fries, fake Mexican food, mediocre pizza, or 11 secret herbs and spices.

But there hasn’t been anything from Subway that has blown my mind or made me dream of bouncing up and down on a bed of Subway sandwiches. It turns out I didn’t eat them because they were good, I ate them because they were better for me than most things I could get though a drive-thru window. However, the Subway Chicken Florentine Flatbread sandwich is the first Subway menu item that I would want to take home, sleep with, and then cook breakfast for in the morning, although with some regret days later because of the fear of catching an SHD (Sandwich Heart Disease).

The limited-time only sandwich is supposed to consist of chicken, olives, tomatoes, Tuscan spices, melted cheese, and a creamy spinach artichoke spread in between a folded piece of flatbread, but since Subway offers enough topping options to make extremely indecisive people freak out, I chose to fill my sandwich with provolone, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, and cucumbers to go along with the chicken and creamy spread.

The flatbread has the characteristics of pita bread and Keira Knightley — white, soft, slightly chewy and, of course, flat. It isn’t freshly baked, like their regular breads are, but who fucking cares? Their meats aren’t slaughtered in the back and their vegetables aren’t picked from an organic greenhouse on the roof, so I think it’s okay that the flatbread isn’t fresh. I do recommend you get the flatbread toasted, which warms it up very nicely and can provides some temporary heat during these winter months if stuffed into the right clothing pockets.

The ingredient that stands out, but doesn’t overpower, is the creamy spinach artichoke spread, which tastes like spinach dip and makes this sandwich so much better than all the other Subway sandwiches I’ve consumed that I want to build a time machine so that I can give younger versions of me this sandwich right before I order whatever boring Subway sandwich I decided on at the time — and so that I can bet on the Giants instead of the Patriots in the last Super Bowl. If you do decide to try this, I highly recommend that you do not add any mustard, mayonnaise, or any other extra sauce to it because the creamy spinach artichoke spread is all you need. Although, like most creamy spinach dips, which contain cheese, mayonnaise and/or sour cream, I imagine it can’t be very good for you.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a Subway Chicken Florentine Flatbread sandwich in front of me and I would like to spend some quality alone time with it.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 sandwich – 520 calories, 22 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 85 milligrams of cholesterol, 1330 milligrams of sodium, 47 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of dietary fiber, 3 grams of sugar, 35 grams of protein, 25% Vitamin A, 30% Vitamin C, 40% Calcium, and 20% Iron.)

Item: Subway Chicken Florentine Flatbread
Price: $4.99
Size: 7 inches
Purchased at: Subway
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: It’s the best Subway sandwich I’ve ever had, thanks to the creamy spinach artichoke spread. When toasted, it can provide some temporary warmth during these cold winter months. No trans fat. Watching the train wreck lives of child actors who get addicted to drugs.
Cons: Only available for a limited time. Not the healthiest thing on the Subway menu. Creamy spinach artichoke spread can’t be very healthy. High in sodium. Flatbread isn’t freshly baked. Losing money on the Patriots in the last Super Bowl.

19 thoughts on “REVIEW: Subway Chicken Florentine Flatbread

  1. What I recommend is to go to Subway and order your favorite sandwich but instead of regular bread, ask them for flatbread. It will blow your mind.

  2. bah..too bad the Subway around here doesn’t bake bread daily like they are supposed to.
    A 5 pm call for Italian herb and cheese bread is uncalled for!
    I wonder how the flatbread situation is though…

  3. The Jonas Brothers is yet another thing that goes on my list of Things That I Don’t Know What The Hell They Are But Everyone Else Does, which also includes High School Musical, that Twilight movie, and screamo music. You kids get off my lawn!

    I don’t care if they serve spinach and artichoke dip in between Nathan Fillion’s buttcheeks, I still hate Subway.

  4. Well, it seems like a happy medium choice for those days I have a Quiznos craving, and I don’t feel like spending my entire week’s food budget, and be reminded again of those demented gerbil things that Quiznos assaulted us all with.

  5. @Neil – Yes, warmed up is definitely better. If only I could warm it up by hugging it.

    @Chuck – Yes, I have influenced another mind. Where’s my money, Subway?

    @mixing great cocktails – I wish I could inflate the flatbread and turn it into a pillow for me to sleep on and eat in the middle of the night.

    @Heidi – It may just blow my mind, but to ensure it does I think I should go to Subway next time high on acid and staring at a 3-D image.

    @Anonymous – What? You get pre-baked Subway bread. That’s so wrong.

    @Sea Hag – I wish I didn’t know about any of those things, but my head is a sponge and I absorb any useless information.

    @Diana – Here’s a link to the sponge monkeys screaming:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cG042nkReBA

  6. I think I’ll take Heidi’s suggestion of ordering my favorite Subway Sandwich (the classic Cold Cut Combo), this time substituting the regular bread(s) with their flat bread. Sounds good!

    I bet the Teriyaki Chicken would be great in that flat bread as well.

    The question is, why is it always the case, the food we get NEVER looks like the highly-styled example they show in the advertisements? I hate that! lol

    http://www.subway.com/subwayroot/MenuNutrition/FeatureProduct/index.aspx

  7. Marvo — You don’t need to; it’s Subway!

    Pomai — Marvo answered that question as I asked it a few articles back. I think he said something to the likes of there being a possibility that we the viewers would get sick whenever we saw the commercials if they showed the actual product. I think that’s a pretty good explanation! LOL Let me know how your Subway adventures go. :)

  8. God damn it, you just reminded me of how much money I lost during the Superbowl when I bet on the Patriots. Who bets against Tom Brady without a point spread?! WHO?!

  9. @Pomai – If they took the time to build it to perfection, we would never get our food.

    @Heidi – I guess the bright colored walls would do it too.

    @Ace – Who? Someone who made a lot of money that day.

    @Mits – I shall give them a try the next time I head up to Manoa Marketplace.

  10. I love this sandwich. Wish it was on the regular menu.
    I order with wheat bread instead of the Flat Bread. No reason for it, but I think I will try it with Flat Bread next time.

  11. I had one of these Chicken Florentine flatbreads today.

    I completely agree with your review.

    It’s the first thing I’ve ever bought from subway that I’ve actually enjoyed eating!

    I had it with provolone, lettuce and tomatoes. It’s hard to believe the sandwich is only 520 calories, it’s that good.

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