REVIEW: Nabisco Oreo Fun Stix

Oreo Fun Stix

I’ve yet to have any fun with these Nabisco Oreo Fun Stix. I should be having a blast with them because, after all, the word “fun” is in its name, but I’ve gone through almost the entire box and I haven’t gotten any entertainment out of them; not even by trying to light them or sticking them into an orifice. It’s so boring that I consider it the snack version of The Hills spin-off The City.

Each box comes with eight packs of two cylindrical chocolate cookie wafers lined with Oreo creme that measures six inches long and half an inch in diameter. They’re hollow, so they’re just like those cereal straws that allow you to slurp up milk with them, except you won’t find these in the cereal aisle and because they’re not labeled “cereal straws” they won’t go down as one of the most absurd packaged food ideas that our future alien overlords will point to as the reason why it was so easy to enslave the human race.

But maybe it’s not the fault of the Oreo Fun Stix and I’m not using them correctly or my body is numb to fun after years and years of consuming Oreos in every possible way and the saturated fat they provided has blocked the “fun juice” from reaching my brain. So maybe the fun comes from trying to unblock the “fun juice.”

The Oreo Fun Stix continues the long list of items that haven’t given me the same satisfaction as regular Oreo cookies. The cookie shell was crispy, but perhaps too crispy since some of the Fun Stix were broken when I opened their packs and they easily left a bunch of crumbs on my table, which I guess could be entertaining if I had a penchant for hearing the sucking sound from a 1980s Black & Decker DustBuster.

The Oreo cream tasted very much like the sweet whiteness that we’ve all grown to love and lick, but because the cream lining is inside the wafer stick I can’t get any pleasure from licking it, unless I’m supposed to get delight from a surgical procedure that turns my tongue into a snake’s tongue. The cookie shell combined with the Oreo cream didn’t quite taste like an actual Oreo cookie, which was disappointing. For roughly the same price as these Oreo Fun Stix you can get actual Oreos and, I think, more of them.

I still don’t know what exactly is so fun about these Oreo Fun Stix and I’ll probably never find out. I guess just because it has the word “fun” in it, doesn’t automatically make them fun, after all, the word “fun” is also in words like defunct, dysfunctional, funeral, fungus, malfunction and nonrefundable.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 package – 90 calories, 3.5 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 50 milligrams of sodium, 30 milligrams of potassium, 13 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 9 grams of sugar, less than 1 gram of protein and 4% Iron.)

Item: Nabisco Oreo Fun Stix
Price: $3.49
Size: 8-pack
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Crunchy. Oreo cream. 90 calories per pack. DustBusters.
Cons: It’s basically a cereal straw, one of the downfalls of the human race. Not fun at all. Didn’t quite taste like an Oreo. Wafer was a little too fragile. Pricey for the amount you get. Makes crumbs. The MTV executive who green-lighted The City. Having alien overlords in the future.

13 thoughts to “REVIEW: Nabisco Oreo Fun Stix”

  1. If you put two of them in your nose you might entertain your co-workers. So, it might not be fun for you, but it would be for them. Just a thought.

  2. Maybe they’re only fun for people who dunk their Oreos in milk. They could sip the milk through them. Except the broken ones, for which I presume one does not get a refund for damaged goods.

  3. I think they are basically just a giant marketing fuck up. If they had introduced them in the seventies, the coke heads would have been all over that….

  4. Hmmm well I’m glad you mentioned that they are just like those cereal straws they came out with a while back, perhaps fun is too powerful a word for what seems like an underwhelming experience… good thing it didn’t have other stuff like “Extra” or exclamation points, still I’m kind of dissapointed, traditionally most oreos or oreo-related products have the potential for Good Eatin’

  5. I’m afraid I can’t cosign on the whole straw concept, if I want an oreo with milk, then I will get oreos and dip them in milk by hand…. that’s the oldschool way to do it, thus it’s the perfect way to do it.

  6. Maybe you need to be stoned before you try them to get the full “fun” effect. You know, like driving a school bus or being a senator.

  7. @Chuck: Or I could pretend to be a walrus with cavities.

    @golfwidow: Hi there, golfwidow! Long time no see! The broken ones can be used to slurp up milk from shot glasses.

    @JamieSusan: But I think it’s a lot more glamourous to snort coke through a $100 bill.

    @Woodenhand: If the product was called Oreo Extra Fun Stix!!! I would expect magic to happen, and I’m not talking about that David Blaine shit.

    @Walter Bernhard: Yup, I’m all about kickin’ it old school.

    @Bryan: That’s too simple of a spell. How about foreclosurim preventus?

    @Tara: So they really are like cereal straws. Sipper = Cereal Straws = Lame. The aliens will laugh.

    @angry bob: I’m sure that will probably work since being stoned makes everything better, especially View-Masters.

  8. Fun straws my ass – Not even half the product at the same cost. In Vietnam we has a way of dealing with things such as these. you would find Charlie with a few fun sticks up his ass !!!

  9. @Neil the hammer: No, I don’t think the fun straws would be fun up your ass.

    @Red Icculus: Then you are doing it all wrong with the “fun juice.”

    @NobleArc, The Lazy Canadian: Yours sounds much better, but I think it has something to do with it being French.

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